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Solutions to the problems of finding a girl in the US?

Discuss and talk about any general topic.

Moderators: jamesbond, fschmidt

Postby SilverEnergy » Fri Jan 10, 2014 4:32 pm

OTB wrote:
Those guys just lower their standards until they find a woman who meets those standards. It's easy to find a wife if you don't care what she looks like. Getting married in this country isn't hard, but finding a quality wife is.


Exactly Hero! That's why I said, "I'm referring to women we're attracted to and want to talk to." It's difficult finding a girl who I'm attracted to, meets most of my standards and she seems approachable. Girls who I'm attracted to and seem to have that certain demeanor that attracts me never seem approachable.


I still can't figure out why you desire American women so much, when this website is about going overseas.

You can always do what Paul Janka and Roosh V do and that's learn some day game and cold approach women using their techniques.

I'm afraid that unless you are into American women older than you are or into very chubby women, you're fighting a losing battle OTB.

By the sound of your posts, you desire someone VERY attractive, the very attractive American women mostly all have boyfriends, so you would have to do something to make yourself really stand out.

The days of attractive American women liking you for who you are are OVER.

Either become wealthy, increase your social network or become a bad boy or you'll have no dating life in America PERIOD.

I hope that you do prove us all wrong and land a gorgeous American woman with no problem but I think that's unlikely.
"Allow me to show you the Power Cosmic!" - Silver Surfer
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Postby Someone » Fri Jan 10, 2014 7:57 pm

It's a very complicated question but one thing you have to realize is that most men DO get into relationships and marriage by the time they're like 30 - yes, even here, in the US. This forum is full of single males, some older, but that is really NOT the norm among over-30 men, not even in the US.

I live in a major metropolitan area in the US on the East Coast and I havent seen a single guy my age at any of the places I've worked (late 20s early 30s) who is single, seriously. There was maybe one exception but all of my work colleagues are in relationships, even younger ones. So it must be acknowledged that even here in the US, a very difficult place for dating, the surprising majority of men find wives early on, and the number of single men post-30 is small (even though its hard to date in this country).
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Postby SilverEnergy » Fri Jan 10, 2014 8:44 pm

Someone wrote:It's a very complicated question but one thing you have to realize is that most men DO get into relationships and marriage by the time they're like 30 - yes, even here, in the US. This forum is full of single males, some older, but that is really NOT the norm among over-30 men, not even in the US.

I live in a major metropolitan area in the US on the East Coast and I havent seen a single guy my age at any of the places I've worked (late 20s early 30s) who is single, seriously. There was maybe one exception but all of my work colleagues are in relationships, even younger ones. So it must be acknowledged that even here in the US, a very difficult place for dating, the surprising majority of men find wives early on, and the number of single men post-30 is small (even though its hard to date in this country).


Most men in America aren't getting laid regularly and marriage is at an all time low in America.

There are also more single men than single women in America.

Most women go for the top 10-20 percent of men so this means that many of the top men have multiple women.
"Allow me to show you the Power Cosmic!" - Silver Surfer
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Postby OTB » Sat Jan 11, 2014 12:46 am

SilverEnergy wrote:
OTB wrote:
Those guys just lower their standards until they find a woman who meets those standards. It's easy to find a wife if you don't care what she looks like. Getting married in this country isn't hard, but finding a quality wife is.


Exactly Hero! That's why I said, "I'm referring to women we're attracted to and want to talk to." It's difficult finding a girl who I'm attracted to, meets most of my standards and she seems approachable. Girls who I'm attracted to and seem to have that certain demeanor that attracts me never seem approachable.


I still can't figure out why you desire American women so much, when this website is about going overseas.

You can always do what Paul Janka and Roosh V do and that's learn some day game and cold approach women using their techniques.

I'm afraid that unless you are into American women older than you are or into very chubby women, you're fighting a losing battle OTB.

By the sound of your posts, you desire someone VERY attractive, the very attractive American women mostly all have boyfriends, so you would have to do something to make yourself really stand out.

The days of attractive American women liking you for who you are are OVER.

Either become wealthy, increase your social network or become a bad boy or you'll have no dating life in America PERIOD.

I hope that you do prove us all wrong and land a gorgeous American woman with no problem but I think that's unlikely.


Silver, I like women. I know most AW wouldn't be a good match for me but I do see American chicks from time to time that I would consider to be worth a shot based on if I find them to be attractive and their demeanor. It's not that I desire AW so much because I DON'T. It's just that I keep my options open. Also, I'm not in a position to just pack up and hop to another country. Do I want that? Of course! My family knows that and my buddy's family knows that. But this is where I'm at right now, NJ. I'm tired of waiting to find a woman. I'm sick of being single. I want a woman in my life. I spend waaay too much time alone. There ARE women out there. I saw plenty of them that were my type up in North Jersey and NY. Me and buddy went to up to a couple malls in North Jersey and then headed to NY two weekends in a row back in August and we saw plenty of wife material up there.

Also, if I were to find a wife in another country I want my friends and family to be there. So if that were the case that's not happening. There's a lot that crosses my mind when it comes to moving to another country to find a wife. I want my parents to have contact with their grandchildren.

Now you say by the sound of my posts I desire someone VERY attractive. NOOOOO! When I say attractive I don't mean 9s and 10s with nice bodies. That's not what I'm looking for. I'm a body man. I prefer a girl with a nice body and plain face; 6s and 7s. And the body types I find attractive vary. I'm not picky. I just don't like super thin women or fat sloppy looking women. I like thick thighs and ass with a tapered waist and small tits. The more voluptuous body type. She can even have a little weight on her stomach. I like the athletic body type. Also to me a woman is more attractive when she has nice hands and feet. That's a major turn on and makes them more feminine.

So now you know when I say I want someone attractive you'll know what I mean.
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Postby manly5000 » Sat Jan 11, 2014 1:10 am

OTB wrote: I'm tired of waiting to find a woman. I'm sick of being single. I want a woman in my life. I spend waaay too much time alone. There ARE women out there. I saw plenty of them that were my type up in North Jersey and NY. Me and buddy went to up to a couple malls in North Jersey and then headed to NY two weekends in a row back in August and we saw plenty of wife material up there.



And that is the most dangerous time in the lives of guys like us. THAT is the time that you let your loneliness get the best of you and do something stupid, like giving attention to ANY American female. And then she turns into the same super-bitch that EVERY American female becomes, and ruins your life. And then you CAN'T go abroad to find a real woman because your life is ruined legally, financially, or otherwise thanks to the gash monster you just had to go for.

Yes there are women out there here in the US. You think they're your type and then BAM they rip your soul out and ruin your life.

In America, AWALT. Period. Don't throw your life and future abroad away for a piece of washed-up, used-up, STD-ridden Ameriskank p***y that 1000 other dicks have plowed before yours.

I'm lonely as f**k too man. I get it. But I only have a few more months to go and then my time to head to the Promised Land will come. No way in hell would I risk throwing all that away for an attempt at "female" companionship here in the USSA to temporarily alleviate the misery.
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Postby SilverEnergy » Sat Jan 11, 2014 1:36 am

manly5000 wrote:
OTB wrote: I'm tired of waiting to find a woman. I'm sick of being single. I want a woman in my life. I spend waaay too much time alone. There ARE women out there. I saw plenty of them that were my type up in North Jersey and NY. Me and buddy went to up to a couple malls in North Jersey and then headed to NY two weekends in a row back in August and we saw plenty of wife material up there.



And that is the most dangerous time in the lives of guys like us. THAT is the time that you let your loneliness get the best of you and do something stupid, like giving attention to ANY American female. And then she turns into the same super-bitch that EVERY American female becomes, and ruins your life. And then you CAN'T go abroad to find a real woman because your life is ruined legally, financially, or otherwise thanks to the gash monster you just had to go for.

Yes there are women out there here in the US. You think they're your type and then BAM they rip your soul out and ruin your life.

In America, AWALT. Period. Don't throw your life and future abroad away for a piece of washed-up, used-up, STD-ridden Ameriskank p***y that 1000 other dicks have plowed before yours.

I'm lonely as f**k too man. I get it. But I only have a few more months to go and then my time to head to the Promised Land will come. No way in hell would I risk throwing all that away for an attempt at "female" companionship here in the USSA to temporarily alleviate the misery.


I agree, when the loneliness gets really high, I think men should focus on improving their financial life instead of chasing women.

Desperation starts creeping up and before you know it, you're married to a woman who takes half of what you're worth, gets alimony and is taking your house and car.

I think the best thing for western men is to exercise some discipline, grow a spine and start improving yourself.

Stop trying to make things work in America and go overseas!

If you want to chase business and investing opportunities then you can probably tolerate America to a greater degree than most.

I don't know why so many men chase women instead of chasing money and opportunities.

I mean, men have built about every single structure in the world and we still continue to worry about western women.

Loneliness and the craving for intimacy is no reason to throw away your entire life for a woman.

Man the f*** up!
"Allow me to show you the Power Cosmic!" - Silver Surfer
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Postby zacb » Sat Jan 11, 2014 2:42 am

OTB wrote:
SilverEnergy wrote:
OTB wrote:
Those guys just lower their standards until they find a woman who meets those standards. It's easy to find a wife if you don't care what she looks like. Getting married in this country isn't hard, but finding a quality wife is.


Exactly Hero! That's why I said, "I'm referring to women we're attracted to and want to talk to." It's difficult finding a girl who I'm attracted to, meets most of my standards and she seems approachable. Girls who I'm attracted to and seem to have that certain demeanor that attracts me never seem approachable.


I still can't figure out why you desire American women so much, when this website is about going overseas.

You can always do what Paul Janka and Roosh V do and that's learn some day game and cold approach women using their techniques.

I'm afraid that unless you are into American women older than you are or into very chubby women, you're fighting a losing battle OTB.

By the sound of your posts, you desire someone VERY attractive, the very attractive American women mostly all have boyfriends, so you would have to do something to make yourself really stand out.

The days of attractive American women liking you for who you are are OVER.

Either become wealthy, increase your social network or become a bad boy or you'll have no dating life in America PERIOD.

I hope that you do prove us all wrong and land a gorgeous American woman with no problem but I think that's unlikely.


Silver, I like women. I know most AW wouldn't be a good match for me but I do see American chicks from time to time that I would consider to be worth a shot based on if I find them to be attractive and their demeanor. It's not that I desire AW so much because I DON'T. It's just that I keep my options open. Also, I'm not in a position to just pack up and hop to another country. Do I want that? Of course! My family knows that and my buddy's family knows that. But this is where I'm at right now, NJ. I'm tired of waiting to find a woman. I'm sick of being single. I want a woman in my life. I spend waaay too much time alone. There ARE women out there. I saw plenty of them that were my type up in North Jersey and NY. Me and buddy went to up to a couple malls in North Jersey and then headed to NY two weekends in a row back in August and we saw plenty of wife material up there.

Also, if I were to find a wife in another country I want my friends and family to be there. So if that were the case that's not happening. There's a lot that crosses my mind when it comes to moving to another country to find a wife. I want my parents to have contact with their grandchildren.

Now you say by the sound of my posts I desire someone VERY attractive. NOOOOO! When I say attractive I don't mean 9s and 10s with nice bodies. That's not what I'm looking for. I'm a body man. I prefer a girl with a nice body and plain face; 6s and 7s. And the body types I find attractive vary. I'm not picky. I just don't like super thin women or fat sloppy looking women. I like thick thighs and a** with a tapered waist and small tits. The more voluptuous body type. She can even have a little weight on her stomach. I like the athletic body type. Also to me a woman is more attractive when she has nice hands and feet. That's a major turn on and makes them more feminine.

So now you know when I say I want someone attractive you'll know what I mean.


I can relate to this. And it especially hurts when there is no apparent outlets to vent this through. This is where I find myself at many times, but won't let it get the best of me.
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Postby Hero » Sat Jan 11, 2014 2:51 am

xiongmao wrote:My ex colleague is fat and bald and he's just found a very nice lady on Match.com.

Go for older women, milfs, shy girls, girls who never go to bars... there's loads of choice out there.


LMAO I noticed that you didn't say that your fat, bald friend's new lady friend is attractive. But let's say that your buddy found a nice girl on Match.com, and she just happens to be a supermodel. SO WHAT??? That's just ONE FREAKIN' EXCEPTION!! You're using the same argument that the feminazis use: "Oh yeah? Well I know somebody whose hairdresser's cousin is a total geek, but he married a wonderful gorgeous woman who's way out of his league. Therefore, everything you've said about American women is totally wrong!!!" Yeah, right. That's kind of like saying "Hey, somebody won the lottery yesterday. So I don't see why you can't go out there and find a million bucks to put into your bank account."

As for the "loads of choice", why would you want to choose the sweetest smelling turd from a pile of manure?
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Postby Maverick » Sat Jan 11, 2014 10:29 am

OTB, if you want to successfully date women in the US, you will HAVE to learn at least some game. Anyone that gets girls here has some level of game (either through conscious learning, subconscious learning, or very good teaching from parents).

You will not get an AW without game. Trust me, I still date them and currently have one in my bed right now as I type this. How did I get her? 100% game. If I don't game the girl right, it's game over. Period. As Will Smith said in the movie Hitch: "With no game and no guile, there's no girl". Spot on.

So your choices are either:

1) Learn at least some game (to find out where you're going wrong in your attraction)
2) Go to one of the aforementioned countries that don't require game

If you don't do either of these, you'll have a very small chance of success in dating.
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Postby Anti-American » Sat Jan 11, 2014 2:44 pm

What is conscious learning and subconscious learning?
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Re: Solutions to finding a girl in the US?

Postby NorthAmericanguy » Sat Jan 11, 2014 11:05 pm

OTB wrote:I know most of you are suffering from loneliness and are craving affection, sex, and attention from a woman. We all want that and that's perfectly fine. We're men.

But we're told to do certain things to possibly find a girlfriend or wife in this country.

Solutions to finding a girlfriend/wife

Some would recommend:

Salsa dancing

Find someone at the gym

Bars (I don't recommend)

Malls/stores and supermarkets

Classes

Social events (concerts, parties, etc.)

Online "meeting" (as I like to call it)

Go out and approach women and if you get rejected so what. javascript:emoticon(':o') LOL

Barriers to deal with

Attempting to approach and strike up a conversation can be perceived as desperate,
you're up to something, or you're a "nice" guy (aka not very masculine).

A lot of times women put no effort into interacting. No effort goes into exercising their social skills. So you're "game" has to be tight to make her come out of her shell.

My buddy's Dad said women have to protect themselves. They just have to. So a wall is put up which sends
out negative vibes which makes us keep our distance.

Approaching is not acceptable behavior in this culture. Only if you're at a bar or at a party.

Sometimes race can be a strike against you.

Most women give no signs of interest.

Putting aside the fact that most of us feel like we're not compatible with AW we still want to find someone.

Note: Of course, I'm referring to women we're attracted to and want to talk to.

Now how can any of those solutions work when you're dealing with those barriers?

So what's the solution for establishing a connection with a female in this country? Is there a solution?
Some people will say it's not that difficult because people are meeting other people. There are plenty of people who are in relationships or married.

I'm still willing to find a girl in this country but how? We suppress our attraction for females, we can't approach them, you can't flirt, you have to be super conscious of everything you do and say if you decide to approach someone who has caught your eye, you can't come off too excited because that would mean you're desperate, you can't do this and you can't do that. SO HOW THE HELL ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO CONNECT WITH A GIRL? There's all these rules for meeting women. It's all so unnatural.

My goodness.


OTB, I enjoy reading your post as I tell you put a lot of thinking into your post. Personally, I tapped out, I really just don't care about meeting American women anymore as I'm better off going to the Caribbean and dealing with the women over there...

But lets just say that I were still interested in meeting American girls what would I do?

This is what I would do that would at least get myself to having a GF here in U.S. Of GaY:

1. Go out and buy a E46 BMW M3. It's only 10-15k This demonstrates status and lets women know that I make money. A nice BMW E46 is very impressive for most young women.

2. Go to massage parlors, or use escorts and get laid to get any sexual frustration out my system that women are so easily able to detect.

3. Luckily though my type of work I travel all the time so I'm able to meet lots of women everyday so it's real simple, I would just ask out the girls who I see on the regular who give me subtle hints that they're interested (ie, asking me if I'm single, taking to me when they don't have to, looking at me for a few seconds longer). I would be taking to multiple girls at once, to a point where I would eventually narrow it down to 1-2 girls that seem the most loyal to me and just stick with 1-2 girls in the rotation until they started pushing for marriage then I would just find new girls.

I know this is what would work FOR ME, but I just don't want to do it because American women are simply not worth my time! I'm voting with my feet and taking my time and money and giving it to foreign women because in the end I'm treated better and I get more in return for my money. 1 good foreign woman is probably better then 10 American women put together, it's that bad here!

At the end of the day, seems to me that American men either have the problem of just attracting women, or American men have the problem of finding QUALITY women out of the women they're able to attract. I'm in the later camp. I was able to attract women even when I was broke, but none of the women I pull are of any quality or worth being with in the long haul such as the last girl I was courting who had no personality, was a workaholic, and a closet alcoholic.
Last edited by NorthAmericanguy on Sat Jan 11, 2014 11:26 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby tre » Sat Jan 11, 2014 11:17 pm

SilverEnergy wrote:

I agree, when the loneliness gets really high, I think men should focus on improving their financial life instead of chasing women.

Desperation starts creeping up and before you know it, you're married to a woman who takes half of what you're worth, gets alimony and is taking your house and car.

I think the best thing for western men is to exercise some discipline, grow a spine and start improving yourself.

Stop trying to make things work in America and go overseas!

If you want to chase business and investing opportunities then you can probably tolerate America to a greater degree than most.

I don't know why so many men chase women instead of chasing money and opportunities.

I mean, men have built about every single structure in the world and we still continue to worry about western women.

Loneliness and the craving for intimacy is no reason to throw away your entire life for a woman.

Man the f*** up!


^^^^THIS!
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Postby NorthAmericanguy » Sat Jan 11, 2014 11:24 pm

SilverEnergy wrote:
I agree, when the loneliness gets really high, I think men should focus on improving their financial life instead of chasing women.

Desperation starts creeping up and before you know it, you're married to a woman who takes half of what you're worth, gets alimony and is taking your house and car.

I think the best thing for western men is to exercise some discipline, grow a spine and start improving yourself.

Stop trying to make things work in America and go overseas!

If you want to chase business and investing opportunities then you can probably tolerate America to a greater degree than most.

I don't know why so many men chase women instead of chasing money and opportunities.

I mean, men have built about every single structure in the world and we still continue to worry about western women.

Loneliness and the craving for intimacy is no reason to throw away your entire life for a woman.

Man the f*** up!



^^^ Co-sign!
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Postby tre » Sat Jan 11, 2014 11:28 pm

Winston wrote:Tre,
It's already been explained to you before that meeting women does NOT equal getting dates. There are many ways to meet AW. But if you aren't their type, they will reject you, friendzone you, tell you they have a boyfriend, tell you that they just got out of a relationship and aren't looking to date anyone right now because they are working on themselves, don't have time to date guys, or make up other stupid excuses.

They make may polite small talk, but it won't go beyond that. It won't get romantic. Lots of guys here have experienced that, including me. Some guys are the type that all AW friendzone. We may get lucky occasionally, but we can easily go out and meet 100 women and be rejected by all of them. If you aren't their type, meeting them isn't going to change that. The net result is still zero. For some guys, dating is a zero sum game in America, no matter what we do. I experienced this THOUSANDS of times, and so have other guys I've known.

Your only chance in the US is to meet a foreign girl that just arrived, or a spiritually oriented AW, both of which aren't easy, but are somewhat easier.


That is obviously the case of a few guys here, but that was not my case. When I was single and out mingling, I was getting all the dates I could handle. If you are NOT having ANY success, then it's time to start asking yourself what YOU are doing wrong. You can have keep going out and doing the same things over and over again with miserable results. You can then come on the forum and complain about how bad AW are and how they are insane that they don't want you. Yes, AW are terrible. However, they are NOT impossible to get dates with IF you know what you are doing and can create attraction. Most people have strong points and weak points. A few have mostly weak points. Those individuals are the ones that will have little success in western countries and very often in MOST countries they travel to. Sometimes you gotta look inward instead of outward 100% of the time...

That said, those of us in our later 30's and into 40's and even 50's are going to have less success in western countries. Why would a western girl in her early 20's (what most of us are attracted to) want to date a much older man? There is nothing to be gained from it, unless he is STILL attractive and has many other things to offer (great personality, money, status, etc). I would say that those that are 40+ years old should NEVER date an AW under any circumstance...there is no point whatsoever. Older men should ONLY focus on going abroad and probably should focus on 3rd world countries. I'm not being a dick about it either as I will be 40 in just a few years. My above post was mostly for men that are 21-33 years of age. Between those ages, men can absolutely be at there very best.
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Postby mattyman » Sun Jan 12, 2014 1:43 am

I agree, when the loneliness gets really high, I think men should focus on improving their financial life instead of chasing women.

Desperation starts creeping up and before you know it, you're married to a woman who takes half of what you're worth, gets alimony and is taking your house and car.

I think the best thing for western men is to exercise some discipline, grow a spine and start improving yourself.

Stop trying to make things work in America and go overseas!

If you want to chase business and investing opportunities then you can probably tolerate America to a greater degree than most.

I don't know why so many men chase women instead of chasing money and opportunities.

I mean, men have built about every single structure in the world and we still continue to worry about western women.

Loneliness and the craving for intimacy is no reason to throw away your entire life for a woman.

Man the f*** up!
Never lower your standards, never let loneliness push you to make choices you'll regret later on. Heard some terrible stories about those who keep falling for used-up old you-know-what's and getting fucked-over financially. Don't be one of them. There's better out there.
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