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Does a More Equal Marriage Mean Less Sex?

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HouseMD
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Does a More Equal Marriage Mean Less Sex?

Post by HouseMD » February 9th, 2014, 12:10 am

http://mobile.nytimes.com/2014/02/09/ma ... &referrer=

Article from the NYT that explores how the progressive marriage destroys sexual interest, leads to cheating, makes marriages less happy, and increases the likelihood of divorce.




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magnum
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Post by magnum » February 9th, 2014, 12:54 am

Interesting, I think I actually believe it, though I don't think it's labeled correctly.

It isn't equal marriage that means less sex, I believe it's lack of someone being in the drivers seat of the relationship.

Even if a woman made more money and had more status, if the man was the Dominant one *I know not likely* called the shots and had the say so about what the woman did with her money, then it would be fine, even though that scenario would in fact even be unbalanced in the woman favor.

When I was with my ex, I was always the man, no matter what, she even said "I want to control the money it's normal" I flat out said no, maybe that's how it works in china, but I'm a old fashioned man, I control the money.

And in that, she might not have liked it, but she knew I'd put my foot down and that wasn't going to change.

So my opinion is, it's about the acceptance of who is dominant, not who's equal or not, the secret that people don't tell you these days is, you don't "win" your alpha status, your allowed to have it, it's a projected expectation of the people around you, in most cases people learned to allow you to have the control.

Same concept as entering a new social circle, at least in the west, the status you enter the social circle with is the one you'll keep in most aspects, even if your *value* is to go up or down, you'll always be who you were when you entered that circle.

But that's all subject to change depending on the people involved, it's just been my observation.

Bao3niang
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Post by Bao3niang » February 9th, 2014, 3:01 am

I disagree with the idea that marriage should be unequal. God never intended for the woman to be inferior to the man, that's why Eve came out of Adam's rib, not anywhere above or below his body. It's about compromise and learning to get along so that both partners can realize their true potential. Nowadays for many people in both East Asia and the West it is like a competition.

I'm feeling in a strange way as I type this because I know I am being too idealistic.
CYKA BLYAT!!!!!!

The_Adventurer
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Post by The_Adventurer » February 9th, 2014, 4:27 am

"After all, women are now coming into marriage with sexual histories and experiences on par with men’s, leading to expectations that are difficult to replicate in any marriage,..."

Nuff said.
“b***y is so strong that there are dudes willing to blow themselves up for the highly unlikely possibility of b***y in another dimension." -- Joe Rogan

davewe
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Post by davewe » February 9th, 2014, 4:48 am

Bao3niang wrote:I disagree with the idea that marriage should be unequal. God never intended for the woman to be inferior to the man, that's why Eve came out of Adam's rib, not anywhere above or below his body. It's about compromise and learning to get along so that both partners can realize their true potential. Nowadays for many people in both East Asia and the West it is like a competition.

I'm feeling in a strange way as I type this because I know I am being too idealistic.


I think the original question is framed incorrectly. These equal relationships are not all that equal. The guy pays the lion share of the bills (since most women still do not make what men do) then he comes home and is expected to share the household duties, share the child rearing duties and do all of the traditional male duties (house repair, yard, etc.)

What surprised me about the original article is not that sex goes down but that most people allegedly report happier relationships when it is egalitarian. I think the women feel better; I doubt most of the men do.

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Cornfed
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Re: Does a More Equal Marriage Mean Less Sex?

Post by Cornfed » February 9th, 2014, 4:48 am

HouseMD wrote:http://mobile.nytimes.com/2014/02/09/magazine/does-a-more-equal-marriage-mean-less-sex.html?_r=2&referrer=

Article from the NYT that explores how the progressive marriage destroys sexual interest, leads to cheating, makes marriages less happy, and increases the likelihood of divorce.

Well of course it does. I've posted the reasons for this many times. If you morons stopped fantasizing that you were capable of human thought and simply hung on every word I said, then you might begin to make some progress.

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Cornfed
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Post by Cornfed » February 9th, 2014, 5:09 am

Here is an earlier thread on the subject:
http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=15844

leavingusa
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Post by leavingusa » February 9th, 2014, 6:01 am

Yes, men who start doing the dishes and other domestic chores will find themselves cheated on and not getting any.

Bad idea to mix roles, stick with the lawn and outdoor work and making money.

Don't become a "kitchen bitch".

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Teal Lantern
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Post by Teal Lantern » February 9th, 2014, 1:06 pm

Do they pay by column inch? :? She (of course) took nearly 6000 words to say ...
Yet no matter how many requests wives make and how hard their husbands try to accommodate them, the women may still end up disappointed.

a/k/a giving them exactly what they said they wanted makes them unhaaaaappy. :roll:
past research has shown that men have higher rates of infidelity than women, those rates are becoming increasingly similar, particularly in younger people in developed countries, where recent studies have found no gender differences in extramarital sex among men and women under 40. This may be because younger women are more likely to be in peer marriages — and conditions in peer marriages make female infidelity more probable than in traditional ones.

Since they're going to be unhaaaaappy no matter what (at least with whatever idiot married her), you may as well not bother with all that extra "Dear woman" b.s.
The current social dynamic says if you want more milk, don't be the idiot that bought the cow.
не поглеждай назад. 8)

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fightforlove
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Post by fightforlove » February 10th, 2014, 5:28 am

Does every major article written about heterosexual relationships have to contain a paragraph about homosexuals? Do the writers at NYT have a "must-include-meaningless-blurb-about-homos-in-each-of-your-articles" clause in their hiring contracts?

Anyways, Here's another great article on this topic from a religious perspective:http://sunshinemaryandthedragon.wordpress.com/2013/05/03/why-do-christian-women-perpetuate-myths-about-attraction/

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