What do you talk about?

Renata · Post by **Renata** » March 17th, 2014, 1:59 pm

Well so much for the organic approach lol

S_Parc · Post by **S_Parc** » March 17th, 2014, 2:13 pm

Renata wrote:Well so much for the organic approach lol

It can be, however, timing is key, esp among New Englanders.

By having a roster of let's say silly topics: Pizza, Steak, Football, Baseball, Next hot stock tip, Driving vs Commuting, Rain vs Snow, Vermont Cheddar vs string cheese, Johnnie Walker Black label vs Red label, or a meaningless hypothetical question like ...

"Have you ever had a hard time, flagging a taxi in this town?" and so on, you give ppl enough freedom and security, to either engage you in conversation or keep it curt, as in the response, "Not sure, I haven't needed to use a taxi in some time"

And then, that's neither a rejection nor an approval; it's simply a polite way of stating that one can't related on that topic matter or want to be silent.

When I was a kid, I was also shy but I'd practiced the above, up until the point where I could shoot the breeze with nearly anyone, who wasn't kinda shutdown, and attempting to isolate himself from others.

Jester · Post by **Jester** » March 17th, 2014, 3:31 pm

Good posts (except the facetious one, God why do people do that?) - I have little to add.

Only

(1) Chicks are not guys, they are GIRLS, so it's OK to be deep when she looks in your eyes, but keep the talk fluffy and light and non-threatening.

(2) MOST people, men included, are nervous and wary. Understand that convo-fluff just lets you stand in each other's energy field, in proximity, for a bit, getting comfortable with each other, without committing to some long dialogue (or monologue) that the other person is not signed up for. Be patient with them, like you would with someone a little off..... and make friends anyway.

(3) For anyone, especially someone shy, especially someone with a stammer, try to cultivate a feel for nonverbal interaction. An expression, a gesture, whatever.

(4) Related to (3), a young man I know, quiet type, enjoys playing alongside Samoans, Fijians and other Islanders on his rugby team. They communicate on a nonverbal level during play. No chatter required. Obviously this would also happen on a basketball court, or in ballroom (swing, salsa) dancing.

(5) Renata is right about asking questions as opposed to monologuing. (See the movie "Despicable Me" for a humorous exhibition of this.) The thing is that unless you are talking to a Slavic girl over age 25, the questions have to be about little stuff. But asking her stuff about HER is nice, because to her it feels like she is getting attention, which to a girl is catnip.

Cornfed · Post by **Cornfed** » March 17th, 2014, 6:25 pm

Wouldn't you just ask the females innocuous about themselves and let them rave on and on in narcissistic fashion with the odd prompt from you?

Jester · Post by **Jester** » March 21st, 2014, 12:03 am

Cornfed wrote:Wouldn't you just ask the females innocuous about themselves and let them rave on and on in narcissistic fashion with the odd prompt from you?

You said it better

Jester · Post by **Jester** » March 21st, 2014, 12:03 am

Cornfed wrote:Wouldn't you just ask the females innocuous about themselves and let them rave on and on in narcissistic fashion with the odd prompt from you?

You said it better

Tsar · Post by **Tsar** » March 22nd, 2014, 10:11 pm

Jester wrote:The thing is that unless you are talking to a Slavic girl over age 25, the questions have to be about little stuff. But asking her stuff about HER is nice, because to her it feels like she is getting attention, which to a girl is catnip.

I know that talking to stuff about her is the best way to keep a conversation going. I'm sure I could hold a conversation with a girl. I think that some of the problem is that I don't really fit into America. I think it would be easier with a foreign girl because I would be more intriguing to her, and there would be many more things I could ask her about herself. In America I have basically no social life and little memories, no really interesting stories about myself and no social circle so basically I have nothing to talk about with American girls. I could have lot's to share with a foreign girl, my experiences in America, she could ask me things about America or about my beliefs, or she could ask me about my talents and what I like to do, and my life would be more interesting to her. I think that one of the problems is what was also highlighted in a thread posted awhile ago that mentioned how men in America were suppose to be able to be like an entertainer and many girls would say "he has to make me laugh." I'm a mostly serious person, not a comedian or court jester.

I am the type of person that would choose to see an opera, play, or symphony, or visit a museum or other nice things with a date. A party might be nice but a party with drunks and deafening music is not something I consider enjoyable. I want to have more personal and refined dates. Not some very loud club or taking my date out drinking. This probably makes me too boring in America, but more respectable in healthy cultures. Too many times girls in America are not interested in much of anything except bad boys and gangsta culture, being a party girl, and living for drama. They won't want a good guy, they want the exciting bad boy that keeps their life filled with drama and entertainment. They say YOLO and use it to justify whatever they do.

Someone Respectable: Bad behavior!

American Girl: YOLO!!!

I would be able to do a lot, be very nonverbal, and I'm sure I could hold a conversation with a foreign girl, assuming she genuinely gave me the chance and was really interested in holding a conversation. I don't mind small talk and I think it's very nice. The thing is that it has to be somewhat interesting and if I ask her questions about herself, then she should be enthusiastic about answering. I'll also admit that if the girl isn't really enthusiastic about me or showing me that she's also making an effort, then I lose my desire to even try to hold a conversation. Things have to be mutual, it can't be one-sided and expected to work.

I guess my experiences in America might be part of the problem. I think it's similar to how a person usually knows they asleep. They don't know they were asleep until after they awaken from their sleep. Only in very rare occurrences will a person be dreaming and actually know that it's a dream, which implies they are asleep. Being aware that it's a dream while dreaming isn't typical. I probably could hold a conversation with people, but in America circumstances make it fairly impossible.

TruthOrConsequences · March 25th, 2014, 3:42 am

News, current events, weather... Social issues, maybe..

Cornfed · Post by **Cornfed** » March 25th, 2014, 12:53 pm

TruthOrConsequences wrote:News, current events, weather... Social issues, maybe..

Social issues? With females?

Teal Lantern · Post by **Teal Lantern** » March 26th, 2014, 1:47 am

Tsar wrote:I could have lot's to share with a foreign girl, my experiences in America, she could ask me things about America or about my beliefs, or she could ask me about my talents and what I like to do, and my life would be more interesting to her.

So you're on some of the many social network/chat sites where foreign girls hang out?

Tsar wrote:I am the type of person that would choose to see an opera, play, or symphony, or visit a museum or other nice things with a date.

So you participate in forums/blogs where topics like these are the focus?

Tsar · Post by **Tsar** » March 26th, 2014, 7:42 am

Teal Lantern wrote:
Tsar wrote:I could have lot's to share with a foreign girl, my experiences in America, she could ask me things about America or about my beliefs, or she could ask me about my talents and what I like to do, and my life would be more interesting to her.
So you're on some of the many social network/chat sites where foreign girls hang out?

Tsar wrote:I am the type of person that would choose to see an opera, play, or symphony, or visit a museum or other nice things with a date.
So you participate in forums/blogs where topics like these are the focus?

No, I gave up on all online chatting or online dating when it comes to any girl. I feel like if I want to get a girlfriend I should just go in person. It's not personal online, my message will either be ignored or lost in her mailbox, and therefore it's not worth my effort. Writing something that takes time only to have it be ignored is a waste of time. Maybe if a person spammed one common message to multiple girls it might not be a waste of time, but even that is something I just don't want to do anymore.

What I want to do is to go in person where my message can't be ignored online and I have better odds.

Can you recommend a website where foreign girls hang out, where many are 18-20, and the reply rate is at least 1 in 5 (20%) or better? If not, then I don't see a point. Also, anything less than a 20% seems to be a waste of time. I don't like playing poor odds.

Teal Lantern · Post by **Teal Lantern** » March 27th, 2014, 6:51 am

Tsar wrote:No, I gave up on all online chatting or online dating when it comes to any girl. I feel like if I want to get a girlfriend I should just go in person.

Fair enough.

Considered Denmark? They're practically begging for pregging.

Tsar · Post by **Tsar** » March 27th, 2014, 7:12 pm

Teal Lantern wrote:
Tsar wrote:No, I gave up on all online chatting or online dating when it comes to any girl. I feel like if I want to get a girlfriend I should just go in person.
Fair enough.
Considered Denmark? They're practically begging for pregging.

No, I don't consider Denmark. Denmark falls within the Western European/Northern European segment, it's liberal, and it's part of the West. Therefore I won't waste my time. Western Europe and Northern Europe are part of the West and heavily influenced by feminism and liberalization.

I mainly like Slavic girls (Eastern Europe). They aren't Western and they're more traditional. When it comes to Caucasian women of Europe I mainly consider Eastern European women. Traditional, more probability of being pure, she would earn less income compared to the rest of Europe, some of the most beautiful women in the world, and many are ready for marriage at 18. I have the highest probability of getting the girl I want in East Europe.