It is hard to penetrate groups, and you can't just go up to people and approach them. It's usually understandable, but the hostility to lone individuals in our society is disturbing. Since making friends involves knowing at least one person and hanging out with one initial group, the starting point for that as a socially anxious person is quite difficult. Sometimes I don't know if I really want friends, but rather community.
I can attest to this. For years, I had been told that I was the one with social problems; I'd been admonished to "reach out", "You have to take the initiative" and so on. Well-meaning relatives and teachers, professors, etc., flat-out disbelieved that I was doing just that, constantly, only to be treated like I was either a leper or psychotic just for going up to people and trying to chat casually, inviting them to hang out sometime and things like that. There was just this impenetrable culture of ice-cold disdain for anybody who didn't know you already for years and years. People would tell me that I had to know people in order to meet people. It was totally circular.
I blamed myself, and racked my brain trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I dressed and talked like anybody else; I wasn't some smelly, bearded loon caked in mud and vodka or anything. I was friendly, yet low-key and not at all pushy or overdoing anything at any point. I was in a local area where I'd lived for most of my life. There was nothing about me that should have pegged me as such a pariah.
It took me until I was WELL into my mid-twenties, maybe even late twenties IIRC, to figure out that it really could be that they
were the weirdos with the problem, and not me, despite their huge numerical majority over me. Realizing this simple fact for the first time blew my mind; and while it made me fairly angry, disillusioned and disgusted with them, it also set me free in a lot of good ways.
So true, America really sucks sometimes. That happened to me to at college orientation everyone found there groups ands they could care less if your being attacked by tigers, if your alone, they don't want to even ackowlage your existence it's a sad mentality.
I don't even want to begin describing here the two decades of American indifference to medical challenges of mine, nor the callousness with which they treated a certain friend of mine who is no longer with us today.
It's not just America. I experience the same thing in Australia. I also recall on my first orientation day at uni that everyone had already made friends. I don't know when or where. It's completely bizarre. But this happens everywhere I go. I am always being left out and left behind.
People in major UK cities have sat in huge crowds on their public buses and tube (subway in the US) trains, staring resolutely at their feet during beatings and stabbings in progress.
Anglo-Saxons are psychopaths, and I no longer give a shit who thinks me racist toward them for saying so point-blank. The stereotype is true. They're cold-blooded and different from other people; they really are.