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Being authentic/down-to-earth alienates you in America

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Postby Winston » Sun Jun 01, 2014 3:37 am

S_Parc wrote:Well, without getting nasty, here's my opinion on these points.

As a former armchair astrologist (yes, I'd given it up years ago), Win is a Pisces Sun. Aside from George Washington, very few Pisces can successfully navigate the labyrinth of emotions, inside and outside of themselves. Thus, on the average, a Pisces without a happy & supportive immediate family, will tend to degenerate by absorbing the emotions of the toxic ppl around them in society. They cannot create mental barriers from what they perceive as *not working*.

As for creating new experiences, I was most concerned when Win started writing about a Carson City stripper, as if she were a potential soulmate, a kindred spirit. Well, that's got me worried as US/Canadian strippers play that game, on anyone whom they could make a *regular*, esp in places with low vibrations like much of the Reno or Vegas metros. At least in Pattaya, there's a chance that one would want to make him a potential BF. But America is not Thailand and we all know that.

In conclusion, the longer Win stays in the US, attempting to amalgamize with his environment, the worse he'll become. And no, field trips to the Rockies, Grand Canyon, Sedona, etc, don't change the essence of a person. Many of us have traveled to national parks and retreats but we bring ourselves to those places. Unless one wants to be a total recluse in Death Valley, thus having no contact with the human race, I can't see how that makes a major impact on one's life.


You are strange in that you see the spirituality in astrology but not in nature. Today I was at the Los Alamos Science Museum and saw a short bio clip about Robert Oppenheimer, the head of the team that developed the Atomic Bomb during the Manhattan Project. The clip said that Oppenheimer was a brilliant scientist but very fragile. He constantly had to retreat to the forests of New Mexico to rejuvenate himself.

You see, some people are rejuvenated in nature, like me. I don't understand why that's hard for you to accept. Other nature lovers understand that. Why don't you?

Anyway, your assessment of Pisces is correct. I read a lot of Astrology books and saw the same thing that you said. We must have read the same books. Most Pisces degenerate into self-destruction if left alone. George Washington was one of the rare successful Pisces.

Btw, my moon sign is Gemini and my rising sign is Scorpio. Does that tell you anything? Moon sign governs our inner emotions and rising sign governs our outward personality, in case you don't know.

Gemini is a fleeting air sign, so my emotions are fast and fleeting. Geminis tend to have a lot of intellectual interests and try to have multiple partners since one is not enough. That's true of me too. I live in the world of imagination, not reality.

Scorpios are deep and can be vicious when attacked, lashing out their sting. That accurately reflects my personality too. As you see, I can be really vicious sometimes when provoked. I am also intense, which is a Scorpio trait.

Btw, my Chinese Astrology sign is Ox. Oxen are hardworking, strong, slow, steady and consistent. So don't those traits provide a good balance to my Piscean instability?

You are right that America is not right for me. America is for people who want to commit to a steady career and settle down with a family. It's not for adventurers or truth seekers. Everything in America is geared toward those who want to settle down and have families. I'm out of place in America.

However, I disagree with you that that Carson City stripper was a faker. She did not say anything fake or try to manipulate me in any way. She was nice, genuine and down-to-earth, different from other strippers. I know what I saw. No one can fake genuineness to that degree. Not even con men can.

So what if I had romantic fantasies about her. Didn't you know that Pisceans are hopeless romantics? I first had a crush on a girl when I was 5. I fall in love easily. That's my nature. Why can't you just let me be who I am? Nothing wrong with a harmless crush, as long as one doesn't take it too seriously or act on it.

Btw, Carson City has a different vibe than Vegas or Reno. Go there and you will see what I mean. It has a relaxed laid back down-to-earth vibe, and people are friendly and smile with more genuineness than in Vegas or California. So don't mix up Carson City wrongly with Vegas or Reno. Just wanted to correct you on that.
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Postby S_Parc » Sun Jun 01, 2014 4:16 am

Winston wrote:You are strange in that you see the spirituality in astrology but not in nature. Today I was at the Los Alamos Science Museum and saw a short bio clip about Robert Oppenheimer, the head of the team that developed the Atomic Bomb during the Manhattan Project. The clip said that Oppenheimer was a brilliant scientist but very fragile. He constantly had to retreat to the forests of New Mexico to rejuvenate himself.

You see, some people are rejuvenated in nature, like me. I don't understand why that's hard for you to accept. Other nature lovers understand that. Why don't you?

Anyway, your assessment of Pisces is correct. I read a lot of Astrology books and saw the same thing that you said. We must have read the same books. Most Pisces degenerate into self-destruction if left alone. George Washington was one of the rare successful Pisces.

Btw, my moon sign is Gemini and my rising sign is Scorpio. Does that tell you anything? Moon sign governs our inner emotions and rising sign governs our outward personality, in case you don't know.

Gemini is a fleeting air sign, so my emotions are fast and fleeting. Geminis tend to have a lot of intellectual interests and try to have multiple partners since one is not enough. That's true of me too. I live in the world of imagination, not reality.

Scorpios are deep and can be vicious when attacked, lashing out their sting. That accurately reflects my personality too. As you see, I can be really vicious sometimes when provoked. I am also intense, which is a Scorpio trait.

Btw, my Chinese Astrology sign is Ox. Oxen are hardworking, strong, slow, steady and consistent. So don't those traits provide a good balance to my Piscean instability?

You are right that America is not right for me. America is for people who want to commit to a steady career and settle down with a family. It's not for adventurers or truth seekers. Everything in America is geared toward those who want to settle down and have families. I'm out of place in America.

However, I disagree with you that that Carson City stripper was a faker. She did not say anything fake or try to manipulate me in any way. She was nice, genuine and down-to-earth, different from other strippers. I know what I saw. No one can fake genuineness to that degree. Not even con men can.

So what if I had romantic fantasies about her. Didn't you know that Pisceans are hopeless romantics? I first had a crush on a girl when I was 5. I fall in love easily. That's my nature. Why can't you just let me be who I am? Nothing wrong with a harmless crush, as long as one doesn't take it too seriously or act on it.

Btw, Carson City has a different vibe than Vegas or Reno. Go there and you will see what I mean. It has a relaxed laid back down-to-earth vibe, and people are friendly and smile with more genuineness than in Vegas or California. So don't mix up Carson City wrongly with Vegas or Reno. Just wanted to correct you on that.


Win, I can rejuvenate myself in nature or even in my own, more urban neighborhood. I practice a lot of Qigong stuff, both in metro Boston and our surrounding natural settings in New England & New York State. Yes, there's a different energy zone, between the winter state in let's say western MA and Boston, but I can work with both settings.

And I have Aries ascendent and Libra Moon, I know a bit about astrology. I'd spent a lot of time, integrating all those elements into a single integrated personality. Right now, I've rejected astrology, as a meaningful psychoanalysis, as it seldom applies to me anymore.

And sure, I do agree, many ppl, despite their occupations, have a kernel of wonder inside them. Perhaps the Carson gal is one of those. On the other foot, I recognize that I need to protect myself from those, who can't live up to their higher aspirations. Thus, I don't allow myself to be drawn to others, who may detract me from my final goals. So if the Carson City gal has some aspect of wonder in her, I'd keep it compartmentalized. She's be a particularly special friend to me, nothing more.

As for crushes, I've had 'em as well and had my heart broken, numerous times. So far, the only person who hasn't done that to me is Mel. And well, that's become the success story of my mid-30s.

One of the reasons why I'm not 100% on Public's side (against you) is that I believe that many of us in America, have to go through various stages, to get to our destinations. Where I do agree with him is that somehow, your current stint in America, isn't leading you to your final place.
16 years ago, the Best Picture of 1999, "American Beauty", telegraphed the message of Happier Abroad to the world.

Beware of long term engagements with AWs, you may find yourself in a coffin.

AB discussion thread

BTW, despite settling down with an AW, myself, the warning is still in effect.
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Postby publicduende » Sun Jun 01, 2014 9:59 am

Winston wrote:publicduende,
You must have missed my thread of travel updates. I've been traveling the last few weeks and seeing spectacular nature and sites, and hiking a lot, and getting a lot of Vitamin D from the sun, which makes me feel healthy.

See the photos I posted here and below it:
http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... 992#178992

So I've been getting out and doing stuff, not wasting time in Vegas working on the computer.


I knew you had been visiting nature site that side of the US but yes, I missed the thread. Some gorgeous photos you have there, Mr. Wu. It must have been elating and refreshing, to admire the majesty of the landscape and be humbled by the sheer volumes and spaces.

If you don't mind a slightly erudite reference, it reminds me of a famous quote by St. Augustine.

Men go abroad to wonder at the heights of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motions of the stars, and they pass by themselves without wondering.


A Humanist in the truest sense, he recognised that God gave us the gift of an immense Nature to behold, be inspired by and use to our necessity or pleasure. And yet, that very fact shouldn't make us forget about the wonders we harbour within, those of the human spirit and intellect.
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Postby publicduende » Sun Jun 01, 2014 10:11 am

S_Parc wrote:One of the reasons why I'm not 100% on Public's side (against you) is that I believe that many of us in America, have to go through various stages, to get to our destinations. Where I do agree with him is that somehow, your current stint in America, isn't leading you to your final place.


I don't know why you say you disagree with me on that specific point, Sgt. I have always believed that life is a path through experiences, and that we learn just as much, if not more, by our mistakes than by our successes. If I gave any of you a different version of the story, then I am sorry. Perhaps I wasn't clear, or my English faltered.

It's just a shame that society is so complex and full of pitfalls, from family upbringing to early education, social interactions, the constant bombing of mainstream culture and media, the consumerism obsession, and many more.

Too much for a fragile mind to grow up making all the simplest and most right decisions. I understand why so many of us watch movies about family life of yesteryear and feel nostalgic, almost filled with envy. Life was far harder in rural US 200 years ago: there was farming, thieves, diseases and bare survival was still the highest imperative for the 99% of the population. Yet, some choices would come easier: having a large family, the loyalty and trust of a local community, a good girl to marry and have kids with, last but not least that moral beacon that was the Catholic church and its principles, no matter how twisted and bent an imperfect human nature.

All of this to say: if you or Winston had lived 200 years ago you would have probably had less room for making bad choices, and suffering their consequences. You would have also had less room for choice, though.

And yes, I think it's a correct assessment, that which we both agree with. Winston is just making excuses. He could fly away at a moment's notice. The deeper question is whether he is prepared to discipline his emotions and drop much of his narcissism to get a perhaps less glamorous, but more stable and long lasting form of happiness.
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Postby S_Parc » Sun Jun 01, 2014 3:45 pm

Public, once again, I'll have to explain myself by an analogy.

When I was growing up in that Jerry Springer household, there are many times when I wanted to go off the rocker. But here's the thing, I knew that I was stuck there till 17 and thus, needed to redirect myself, so that when I did get out, I was ready for what awaited me.

So let's say I'd do 30 pushups. Well, I'd always be thinking about 40 pushups but even when my relative strength would increase, I'd still continue doing the 30 pushups and throw in a little extra, here and there. What that did was that I'd learned to accept certain situations as is but then one day, I'd just start at 40 pushups and never go below that level again. So despite the level of misery out there I had a choreographed ritual: X pushups, X extra homework assignment, X bicycle ride, & at school, practice X jump hook shots in the b-ball court (& try to recall Kareem's moves, before & after) which involve both the development of patience as well as planning ahead. My mind was always engaged.

I had a constant psychological blockage against my immediate family, as they were a toxic cesspool. Today, I don't speak to anyone in my household anymore, I've even dropped doing Thanksgiving/Christmas with them.

In the end, what came out was a success story, which got me traveling by the age of 24. I believe what I did was actually a type of Zen practice, but in a highly personalized way which led to good results.

Ok, now back to HA. Today, the HA credo is ... *Yankeeville is a bunch of self-absorbed, angry, and lonely ppl who can't connect with their neighbors or themselves*. My attitude is ... great, now that that canon is established, what's one going to do with the time that one has? Is it spent, hanging out with a-holes, even ones in New Age retreats, trying to change their obstinate ways, preaching the gospel of global enlightenment? No, that's a complete waste of time.

I have a ritual and that's to engage ppl for a 5 to 10 min silly conversation and move on. And why do I do that? Well, one needs practice at small talk but also, breaking off ties with others, & not absorbing their energy, good or bad.

And so I believe that when one is in Yankeeville, one needs to have a very focused plan or ritual of habits, to navigate through the circuit, without being pulled into the grips of a Scylla or Charybdis. And if you wonder why Mel is so interested in me? ... part of it is how I'd navigated through society. Once she'd joined me on my path, even she woke up and realized that she was wallowing in misery and wasting precious time. Now that she's been in my orbit for a few years, her leg strength has probably doubled and could substitute as a bodyguard. Her family is also impressed by her refreshed attitude towards life.
16 years ago, the Best Picture of 1999, "American Beauty", telegraphed the message of Happier Abroad to the world.

Beware of long term engagements with AWs, you may find yourself in a coffin.

AB discussion thread

BTW, despite settling down with an AW, myself, the warning is still in effect.
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Postby publicduende » Sun Jun 01, 2014 4:43 pm

S_Parc wrote:Public, once again, I'll have to explain myself by an analogy.

When I was growing up in that Jerry Springer household, there are many times when I wanted to go off the rocker. But here's the thing, I knew that I was stuck there till 17 and thus, needed to redirect myself, so that when I did get out, I was ready for what awaited me.

So let's say I'd do 30 pushups. Well, I'd always be thinking about 40 pushups but even when my relative strength would increase, I'd still continue doing the 30 pushups and throw in a little extra, here and there. What that did was that I'd learned to accept certain situations as is but then one day, I'd just start at 40 pushups and never go below that level again. So despite the level of misery out there I had a choreographed ritual: X pushups, X extra homework assignment, X bicycle ride, & at school, practice X jump hook shots in the b-ball court (& try to recall Kareem's moves, before & after) which involve both the development of patience as well as planning ahead. My mind was always engaged.

I had a constant psychological blockage against my immediate family, as they were a toxic cesspool. Today, I don't speak to anyone in my household anymore, I've even dropped doing Thanksgiving/Christmas with them.

In the end, what came out was a success story, which got me traveling by the age of 24. I believe what I did was actually a type of Zen practice, but in a highly personalized way which led to good results.

Ok, now back to HA. Today, the HA credo is ... *Yankeeville is a bunch of self-absorbed, angry, and lonely ppl who can't connect with their neighbors or themselves*. My attitude is ... great, now that that canon is established, what's one going to do with the time that one has? Is it spent, hanging out with a-holes, even ones in New Age retreats, trying to change their obstinate ways, preaching the gospel of global enlightenment? No, that's a complete waste of time.

I have a ritual and that's to engage ppl for a 5 to 10 min silly conversation and move on. And why do I do that? Well, one needs practice at small talk but also, breaking off ties with others, & not absorbing their energy, good or bad.

And so I believe that when one is in Yankeeville, one needs to have a very focused plan or ritual of habits, to navigate through the circuit, without being pulled into the grips of a Scylla or Charybdis. And if you wonder why Mel is so interested in me? ... part of it is how I'd navigated through society. Once she'd joined me on my path, even she woke up and realized that she was wallowing in misery and wasting precious time. Now that she's been in my orbit for a few years, her leg strength has probably doubled and could substitute as a bodyguard. Her family is also impressed by her refreshed attitude towards life.


Thanks for adding more about your life, but I don't think you needed to explain yourself more than you did already. I got you. I got your shitty family situation and the strong, disciplined, if a bit self-absorbed, way you managed to get out of it relatively unscathed, and much wiser.

You got yourself a good academic record, then travelling by 24, etc. Yet, I believe you're neither the average HA-er, nor the average kid from this one generation. Yankeeville has been and will stay a prison for many of the whiners, young and old, who populate this forum and many others, so long they don't realise the prison has invisible bars because it's a mind prison. Maybe they'll embrace a less materialistic, more spiritually rich life, or some big trauma will act as the ultimate wake up call to move their bottoms and leave, or maybe something different I cannot fathom.

I have to publicly thank Marcos Z and his recent posts for acting as a reminder that there is still a divide between the American and the European way of thinking, when it comes to approaching ways to improve oneself without having to bother and curse entire slices of mankind. Be in peace with oneself without having to necessarily have "bad blood" (as ABCDavid called it) with the rest of the country.

You made it dude, and kudos to you. I wish there were more of you in the US, but now I can see there are more of you here on these (European) shores.
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Postby Winston » Mon Sep 29, 2014 2:05 am

Rock's former tenant Monkro told me something interesting and true the other day. He said that:

In America, you have two choices:

1. Act arrogant, narcissistic and fake.
2. Or be down-to-earth, authentic and miserable.

So true huh?
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Re: Being authentic will alienate you in America

Postby Winston » Wed Dec 17, 2014 3:08 pm

Key point: The key to understanding the truth about America is that when it comes to bullshit, fakery, phoniness, hype, illusion, delusion and mental problems, America is the KING and unmatched by no other.

Therefore, when you become contaminated by the poison of American culture, one of two things result:

1) Either you become very fake and artificial and full of bullshit and arrogance in order to adapt.
2) Or you remain authentic and suffer as a misfit with loneliness and alienation, thus torturing your soul and invalidating you.

It's a terrible choice in a highly toxic, insane, inauthentic, fake culture.

If you opt out of both choices you will be lonely and bored with nothing to do but work and shop.

Basically, the more genuine and authentic you are, the more of a misfit you will be in America for sure. Those who are completely authentic suffer the most in America, the land of bullshit and fakeness.

These key points are obvious and can be felt. But they are taboo and go against the hype and fake image that is propagandized about America.

Best solution is to go abroad to a culture that's more sane, healthy, genuine and friendly. That's the only way you can be free to be yourself and happy. (but not Taiwan of course)
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Re: Being authentic will alienate you in America

Postby Moretorque » Wed Dec 17, 2014 5:15 pm

I will give you an idea how much America has changed from the individual to the collective over the last 40 years, my stepfather who is a retired astrophysicist claims a individual in his department use to wear a WW 2 Nazi helmet to work. Try that today!

People do not realize they are being programmed through the credit money to fit the collective.
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Re: Being authentic will alienate you in America

Postby FusionX20 » Wed Dec 17, 2014 8:50 pm

I just noticed that Winston is living in the states again. I know, I know, shame on me for now knowing!
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Re: Being authentic will alienate you in America

Postby Winston » Wed Dec 17, 2014 9:07 pm

FusionX20 wrote:I just noticed that Winston is living in the states again. I know, I know, shame on me for now knowing!


I'm not in the states dummy. I'm in Taiwan.
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Re: Being authentic will alienate you in America

Postby FusionX20 » Wed Dec 17, 2014 10:43 pm

Winston wrote:
FusionX20 wrote:I just noticed that Winston is living in the states again. I know, I know, shame on me for now knowing!


I'm not in the states dummy. I'm in Taiwan.


Okay, my bad someone was giving out misinformation.. :)
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Re: Being authentic alienates and suppresses you in America

Postby Winston » Mon Dec 22, 2014 3:29 pm

I've finally found the ANSWER to something I've wondered about since the early 1980's up til now. The real reason I could never fit into American culture, no matter how much I tried, and still can't today, is this:

American culture is the KING when it comes to fakeness, bullshit, illusion, and artificiality. In a fake culture with fake people, only fake people can express themselves and have fun. But those who are very authentic, genuine, down-to-earth, deep and sensitive (like me) CANNOT, because they are on a different wavelength than fake people are.

In fact, authentic sensitive people will feel SUPPRESSED around fake people, because their personality and persona cannot be expressed openly. So they cannot have fun or connect with fake people. As a result, they become reclusive and more introverted. Not by choice, but by intimidation and invalidation. This is what happened to me.

I've discovered that this is the TRUE reason why I and others like me have never been able to fit into America and could never figure out why. It could be that those with aspergers may be under a similar predicament. However, if you can't be yourself in a fake culture around fake people, how are you at fault? You are not the one that's fake, the culture and the people in it are.

It's not due to a lack of "social skills" as American culture would say. When Americans say you lack "social skills" what they really mean is that you need to learn how to act more fake in order to fit into a fake culture like America. It's ridiculous. If you do comply with it, you end up only becoming faker. Ever notice that? It's also a shaming tactic, for if you don't act fake then there's something wrong with you. It's very upside down, like the Twilight Zone.

So then the question becomes: How is someone who is 100 percent authentic like me, supposed to fit into an environment like high school which is 100 percent FAKE? There's no logical answer or solution for that. You cannot be something you're not, after all.

But America cannot answer such a question because it does not acknowledge that it is a fake culture that is full of bullshit. Instead, America spreads all kinds of "fake" hype, illusion, propaganda and bullshit about itself, none of which is authentic, since it is not an authentic culture.

The truth is, America is the king of bullshit, fakeness, illusion, and self-delusion. No other culture even comes to close to matching America when it comes to fakeness and bullshit. No other country in the world has as many people who are "full of it" to the extreme degree that America does.

Thus, as an authentic deep person, I cannot technically be at fault for not fitting into America. Also, if the problem is me, then how come I can express myself a lot more openly and freely in authentic foreign cultures such as in Russia, Eastern Europe, or Southeast Asia? And I mean A LOT more. Also, how come I could be myself in those cultures and have fun and be a lot more extroverted too? All this speaks volumes, and again, America and its mainstream people cannot answer that, because they are in denial of the truth about America.
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Re: Being authentic/down-to-earth alienates you in America

Postby Winston » Mon Oct 26, 2015 8:50 pm

I just realized something. Isn't the reason why need women to be down-to-earth is because we are down-to-earth ourselves? Like usually attracts like, so we need women who are as genuine and down-to-earth as ourselves right?

How else do fake, toxic women get along with their mates or vibe with them? They must be with guys who are fake and toxic too right?

Isn't that the core problem here? Being too down-to-earth is seen as outdated in America, or too nice and weak, because only people who grew up in the 1950's and 1960's and prior to that are down-to-earth. Those who grew up in the 1980's and after are supposed to be uptight, snobby, unfeeling, mean, arrogant and insensitive. You gotta act tough or cool in America, and both tend to be fake.

What do you all think?

Fortunately, in most countries, most women are definitely down-to-earth, unless they are well off. Here in China, I've noticed that the vast majority of females are down-to-earth, as well as very feminine and attractive or cute, which is the ideal package! I've never seen a masculine woman in China. They are feminine in every way, including vibe and personality and appearance. So in China, women or girls who are 1) feminine, 2) attractive, and 3) down-to-earth are the norm and in the majority.

But in modern America, finding a woman who is all three is rarer than a needle in a haystack! Almost all modern American white women are masculine, and most are NOT attractive, and rarely are they down-to-earth unless they are old and/or unattractive. But you never see an attractive young woman in modern America who is down-to-earth. No way. The only way you can is if you have a time machine and go back to the 1970's and prior.
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Re: Being authentic/down-to-earth alienates you in America

Postby IraqVet2003 » Fri Oct 30, 2015 2:29 am

Winston wrote:I just realized something. Isn't the reason why need women to be down-to-earth is because we are down-to-earth ourselves? Like usually attracts like, so we need women who are as genuine and down-to-earth as ourselves right?

How else do fake, toxic women get along with their mates or vibe with them? They must be with guys who are fake and toxic too right?

Isn't that the core problem here? Being too down-to-earth is seen as outdated in America, or too nice and weak, because only people who grew up in the 1950's and 1960's and prior to that are down-to-earth. Those who grew up in the 1980's and after are supposed to be uptight, snobby, unfeeling, mean, arrogant and insensitive. You gotta act tough or cool in America, and both tend to be fake.

What do you all think?

Fortunately, in most countries, most women are definitely down-to-earth, unless they are well off. Here in China, I've noticed that the vast majority of females are down-to-earth, as well as very feminine and attractive or cute, which is the ideal package! I've never seen a masculine woman in China. They are feminine in every way, including vibe and personality and appearance. So in China, women or girls who are 1) feminine, 2) attractive, and 3) down-to-earth are the norm and in the majority.

But in modern America, finding a woman who is all three is rarer than a needle in a haystack! Almost all modern American white women are masculine, and most are NOT attractive, and rarely are they down-to-earth unless they are old and/or unattractive. But you never see an attractive young woman in modern America who is down-to-earth. No way. The only way you can is if you have a time machine and go back to the 1970's and prior.


I think you are 100% correct. Personally, with my type of personality I think I would fit in better with a European society than with in an American one.
IraqVet2003
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