Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Thurs nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts with FREE Prizes!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE Live AFA Seminar! See locations and details.


Scam free! Check out Christian Filipina - Meet Asian women with Christian values! Members screened.
Exclusive book offer! 75% off! How to Meet, Date and Marry Your Filipina Wife



View Active Topics       Latest 100 Topics       View Your Posts       FAQ Topics       Switch to Mobile


Check out Steve's new fiancee! She looks like a real gem!

Discuss and talk about any general topic.

Moderators: jamesbond, fschmidt

Postby Repatriate » Sat May 31, 2014 5:52 pm

Let's not go crazy here. She's an average asian girl in a very poor asian country. She seems to match "steve" well in looks which bodes well for the future. It will probably work out fine.
Repatriate
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2533
Joined: Sun Jun 15, 2008 6:39 pm







Postby davewe » Sat May 31, 2014 9:21 pm

steve55 wrote:
Winston wrote:
steve55 wrote:So, as everyone I know comments that she doesn't look filipina, what ethnicity would you guys have guessed her to be if you had to guess??


I think she looks Filipina or SE Asian. She has SE Asian features too.

What I like most is that there is a genuineness in her look, face and expression. She is a rare gem to be beautiful inside and out. And she looks caring too, which is an important quality.


Yea, I think so too. By the way, I should clarify that while I am indeed doing a fiancée visa to bring her here, we also realize we need to spend more time together before sealing the deal or making a ultimate final decision. I only spent a week with her in the Phils as I met her at the end of my trip. Hopefully all works out as we hope. That's why the government alots 90 days. It doesn't take 90 days to get married. People could marry within 2 weeks of your fiancee's arrival just by planning it all before her arrival, so even the government realizes couples need time, especially for the girl to make sure she is comfortable in her new environment too. We plan to use that allotment of time.


I agree with all that everyone has said about her. OTOH I don't think you can tell that much from pics. But I wish Steve well; he seems like a good guy and deserves a nice girl.

However having gone through the visa process last year I think you should be really sure you want to marry her before the paperwork and attending madness begins. So visit a time or two more.

Why do I say this? First off, contrary to what that 90-day visa show implies, the fiancé visa is not intended as a "try before you buy" option. You are both required to sign a document declaring your intention to marry within 90 days. While it might be easy to assume it's just a formality, I think it's more than that. The K-1 Visa is not a seamless process. It can be a pain in the ass and certainly costs money. Even well adjusted couples can buckle under the stress. So I would not go to so much trouble until I was very sure.

And then there is the issue of what you will know within 90 days. She will be adjusting to a new country/city/home. You will be adjusting to a new person in your home. You will be helping her with virtually everything. You will be shopping for all the clothes and necessities that she needs in the US, but didn't need in the Philippines. And of course you will be planning a wedding. Even a simple wedding like we had takes some time, energy and money to put together.

IOW, the 90 days will go by in a blur. You will have fun, you will learn stuff about each other, but it's not enough time to "be sure" if you weren't sure before.

Just my opinion. I know many guys who only visited the girl once and then made it work. But in all those cases they were sure after the 1st visit. If you're not, visit her again. Good luck!
davewe
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1391
Joined: Wed Jul 27, 2011 2:21 am

Postby Winston » Sun Jun 01, 2014 1:23 am

Luc Furr wrote:they seem to be an equivalent match that bodes well for the future of the relationship.

What is the point of taking her to the US? Thought people here didn't like the states. A free ticket into the US is a gold mine for any dirt poor 3rd world girl (China, Korea, Philippines, Columbia, Mexico ....). It also gives access to wonderland for her entire family. Puts a huge taint on the entire relationship.

Better to stay in the Philippines (10 years, forever) to be sure that the relationship is real. Also if you bring her into America, doesn't she become your dependent? She can divorce you and you not only still need to support her but are responsible for her. (btw her teaching credentials are worthless in America).


They have to brave such risks, because Steve cannot live in a third world country like the Philippines. He needs comfort, which his home in the US provides. Plus he is comfortable in his town in Texas and isn't looking to move abroad. And he just started a new job too, so he can't take off to visit her again.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
User avatar
Winston
Site Admin
 
Posts: 23568
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 1:16 pm

Postby Winston » Sun Jun 01, 2014 1:27 am

Repatriate wrote:Let's not go crazy here. She's an average asian girl in a very poor asian country. She seems to match "steve" well in looks which bodes well for the future. It will probably work out fine.


You must be a bad judge of women and of looks too. She is not average at all. She differs from the average in these aspects:

- She has a job as a teacher. Most Filipinas are unemployed.
- She has an income and can pay her own way. Most Filipinas want others to pay for them, especially foreigners.
- She is not a leecher. Many Filipinas leech shamelessly as if they were entitled to leech. She appears to have more of a conscience.
- She wears glasses. Most Filipinas don't.
- She reads this forum regularly and is curious about the topics we post. Most Filipinas would have no interest in the topics here.

Next time try to be more accurate in your assessments. :p
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
User avatar
Winston
Site Admin
 
Posts: 23568
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 1:16 pm

Postby Winston » Sun Jun 01, 2014 2:02 am

davewe wrote:I agree with all that everyone has said about her. OTOH I don't think you can tell that much from pics. But I wish Steve well; he seems like a good guy and deserves a nice girl.

However having gone through the visa process last year I think you should be really sure you want to marry her before the paperwork and attending madness begins. So visit a time or two more.

Why do I say this? First off, contrary to what that 90-day visa show implies, the fiancé visa is not intended as a "try before you buy" option. You are both required to sign a document declaring your intention to marry within 90 days. While it might be easy to assume it's just a formality, I think it's more than that. The K-1 Visa is not a seamless process. It can be a pain in the a** and certainly costs money. Even well adjusted couples can buckle under the stress. So I would not go to so much trouble until I was very sure.

And then there is the issue of what you will know within 90 days. She will be adjusting to a new country/city/home. You will be adjusting to a new person in your home. You will be helping her with virtually everything. You will be shopping for all the clothes and necessities that she needs in the US, but didn't need in the Philippines. And of course you will be planning a wedding. Even a simple wedding like we had takes some time, energy and money to put together.

IOW, the 90 days will go by in a blur. You will have fun, you will learn stuff about each other, but it's not enough time to "be sure" if you weren't sure before.

Just my opinion. I know many guys who only visited the girl once and then made it work. But in all those cases they were sure after the 1st visit. If you're not, visit her again. Good luck!


Steve just started a new job, so he can't just take off again to visit her again. Besides, I don't think they have anything to lose by doing this. I think the biggest issue is that she may miss her family.

If she married Steve, could she just apply to migrate her family over to the US? How would that work? Would that be that possible? What are the requirements for that?

I still don't understand why you, Rock, AiB and MarkLambo insist that one cannot tell much from photos. Not true at all. Even children and animals know that looks and appearance usually reflect what a person actually is. This is common sense. Even children and animals know it. So I don't know why certain guys have a mental block against something so simple.

I started a thread about this and posted many examples for you here:

http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... hp?t=23237
Last edited by Winston on Sun Jun 01, 2014 2:39 am, edited 1 time in total.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
User avatar
Winston
Site Admin
 
Posts: 23568
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 1:16 pm

Postby steve55 » Sun Jun 01, 2014 2:24 am

Winston wrote:
Repatriate wrote:Let's not go crazy here. She's an average asian girl in a very poor asian country. She seems to match "steve" well in looks which bodes well for the future. It will probably work out fine.


You must be a bad judge of women and of looks too. She is not average at all. She differs from the average in these aspects:

- She has a job as a teacher. Most Filipinas are unemployed.
- She has an income and can pay her own way. Most Filipinas want others to pay for them, especially foreigners.
- She is not a leecher. Many Filipinas leech shamelessly as if they were entitled to leech. She appears to have more of a conscience.
- She wears glasses. Most Filipinas don't.
- She reads this forum regularly and is curious about the topics we post. Most Filipinas would have no interest in the topics here.

Next time try to be more accurate in your assessments. :p


I almost hesitate to participate further in this thread as trolls may come here and purposely say negative things to try to stir the pot, but hopefully not.

She graduated from University of Makati Magna cum laude in education. That will stand out with potential teacher recruiters/employers, especially that she majored in education and graduated with honors at a major University.


Image


From what I've read online, if a Filipino (or any 3rd world citizen of whatever country) graduated from a reputable school in their country, the majority of credits will be recognized and transferable. She may (most likely) have to take some additional coursework to obtain equivalency here. Its up to the individual American university to decide how much more course work a person will need to get an equivalent US degree. Within the teaching industry, having a degree doesn't really matter anyways, at least not here in Dallas. Throughout my life I recall that the schools here will commonly hire those without degrees as long as they take their courses (6 months worth I think) for teacher certification. There seems to be a constant shortage of teachers so that may have a lot to do with it. As a loan officer for a heroes program I worked for, most of our clients were teachers. I took loan apps from many Filipino teachers who told me they were recruited from the Philippines and they started working as teachers immediately. They didn't have to start over. I bet they already had experience.

In my view, yes it is quite difficult to meet middle class girls like this in the Phils. And the higher class girls in the Phils are generally too stuck up for me to want them anyways (Often as bad as Western women in regards to their fat egos). I like girls right in the middle class or upper middle. I've never really cared about class in a judgmental way, I only care about it to the extent that I feel I have more in common with the girl, and we can relate and "get" each other. I met some super cute Filipinas in the Phils before, but there was no ability to feel comfortable and have good conversations. Lower class girls are hard to have conversations with because they don't know much of anything, especially not about the outside world. Jobie fit the bill in that regard, she is as knowledgeable as any Western girl but just the opposite of a Western woman.

Overall, I think she is a good example of what is possible in the Phils. Middle to upper middle class girls are obtainable, you just have to look a little harder.
* Member of the Happier Abroad Team and Owner of Global Dating Solution
steve55
Junior Poster
 
Posts: 630
Joined: Fri Jul 09, 2010 6:40 am
Location: Dallas, TX

Postby Winston » Sun Jun 01, 2014 2:43 am

Repatriate is not necessarily a troll. He's just very negative, jaded and cynical, especially about women. He's probably been burned a lot.

But he was wrong to say that Jobie is an average Filipina. I listed many ways she was not average at all, and if she graduated from a university, then wow, that's another item to add to that list.

Most Filipinas do not even graduate from high school. Not even Dianne, as smart as she is, graduated from high school.

Of course, Repatriate will not admit that he was wrong. Most guys here are too proud to admit error. lol
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
User avatar
Winston
Site Admin
 
Posts: 23568
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 1:16 pm

Postby djfourmoney » Sun Jun 01, 2014 4:20 am

Congrats to Steve, looks like we'll have to do an updated podcast interview. Yes I know it's not be uploaded but I am working on other stuff and the debut has been delayed.

She is above average compared what usually appears around here.
djfourmoney
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 3129
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2010 11:09 pm
Location: Los Angeles

Postby davewe » Sun Jun 01, 2014 5:39 am

Winston wrote:
davewe wrote:I agree with all that everyone has said about her. OTOH I don't think you can tell that much from pics. But I wish Steve well; he seems like a good guy and deserves a nice girl.

However having gone through the visa process last year I think you should be really sure you want to marry her before the paperwork and attending madness begins. So visit a time or two more.

Why do I say this? First off, contrary to what that 90-day visa show implies, the fiancé visa is not intended as a "try before you buy" option. You are both required to sign a document declaring your intention to marry within 90 days. While it might be easy to assume it's just a formality, I think it's more than that. The K-1 Visa is not a seamless process. It can be a pain in the a** and certainly costs money. Even well adjusted couples can buckle under the stress. So I would not go to so much trouble until I was very sure.

And then there is the issue of what you will know within 90 days. She will be adjusting to a new country/city/home. You will be adjusting to a new person in your home. You will be helping her with virtually everything. You will be shopping for all the clothes and necessities that she needs in the US, but didn't need in the Philippines. And of course you will be planning a wedding. Even a simple wedding like we had takes some time, energy and money to put together.

IOW, the 90 days will go by in a blur. You will have fun, you will learn stuff about each other, but it's not enough time to "be sure" if you weren't sure before.

Just my opinion. I know many guys who only visited the girl once and then made it work. But in all those cases they were sure after the 1st visit. If you're not, visit her again. Good luck!


Steve just started a new job, so he can't just take off again to visit her again. Besides, I don't think they have anything to lose by doing this. I think the biggest issue is that she may miss her family.



Steve's a grown up and can do what he wants. I merely responded to his post that said they needed more time together to seal the deal and that the government deliberate gives you 90 days to make sure. I may be misinterpreting what Steve meant and if so I apologize. However, I don't think the government makes it 90 days so you can decide.

Guys marry in a thousand different ways for a thousand different reasons and Steve doesn't need my approval. But if he asked my advise I'd tell him to be more sure before filing the paperwork and not hope the 90 days answers all his questions.

As to the comment "I don't think they have anything to lose by doing this" - what they have to lose is to get married before they're ready. I hope that isn't the case but you have to admit in life it happens all the time.
davewe
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1391
Joined: Wed Jul 27, 2011 2:21 am

Postby djfourmoney » Sun Jun 01, 2014 6:09 am

davewe wrote:
Winston wrote:
davewe wrote:I agree with all that everyone has said about her. OTOH I don't think you can tell that much from pics. But I wish Steve well; he seems like a good guy and deserves a nice girl.

However having gone through the visa process last year I think you should be really sure you want to marry her before the paperwork and attending madness begins. So visit a time or two more.

Why do I say this? First off, contrary to what that 90-day visa show implies, the fiancé visa is not intended as a "try before you buy" option. You are both required to sign a document declaring your intention to marry within 90 days. While it might be easy to assume it's just a formality, I think it's more than that. The K-1 Visa is not a seamless process. It can be a pain in the a** and certainly costs money. Even well adjusted couples can buckle under the stress. So I would not go to so much trouble until I was very sure.

And then there is the issue of what you will know within 90 days. She will be adjusting to a new country/city/home. You will be adjusting to a new person in your home. You will be helping her with virtually everything. You will be shopping for all the clothes and necessities that she needs in the US, but didn't need in the Philippines. And of course you will be planning a wedding. Even a simple wedding like we had takes some time, energy and money to put together.

IOW, the 90 days will go by in a blur. You will have fun, you will learn stuff about each other, but it's not enough time to "be sure" if you weren't sure before.

Just my opinion. I know many guys who only visited the girl once and then made it work. But in all those cases they were sure after the 1st visit. If you're not, visit her again. Good luck!


Steve just started a new job, so he can't just take off again to visit her again. Besides, I don't think they have anything to lose by doing this. I think the biggest issue is that she may miss her family.



Steve's a grown up and can do what he wants. I merely responded to his post that said they needed more time together to seal the deal and that the government deliberate gives you 90 days to make sure. I may be misinterpreting what Steve meant and if so I apologize. However, I don't think the government makes it 90 days so you can decide.

Guys marry in a thousand different ways for a thousand different reasons and Steve doesn't need my approval. But if he asked my advise I'd tell him to be more sure before filing the paperwork and not hope the 90 days answers all his questions.

As to the comment "I don't think they have anything to lose by doing this" - what they have to lose is to get married before they're ready. I hope that isn't the case but you have to admit in life it happens all the time.


I agree Dave, you have a ton of stuff happening. Even the show made it clear how much background noise there was. About the only time they were alone was when they hit the sheets.

But unlike Steve only one or two of the couples didn't spend a bunch of time together before hand. The one they didn't show but did online was didn't work. She never came over because apparently she was dating another guy at the same time. Sh*t happens, but it's likely he made a few mistakes he wouldn't admit too.

I don't remember how long Russ was in Colombia or what the time frame was when he met Paola, but I'm sure they spent more than a few weeks together compared to Steve's limited time off, which is always a problem with American men seeking women overseas.

This is why I opted not to return to work. Sure it might be harder because I have to develop other income sources but one resource that can't be bargained with or purchased is time.

Time is free as long as you don't charge for it. But looking for a wife is a worthy investment in time for sure to get it right THE FIRST TIME.
djfourmoney
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 3129
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2010 11:09 pm
Location: Los Angeles

Postby Winston » Sun Jun 01, 2014 6:11 am

Well I'm a believer in intuition and gut feelings. So I think that the best advice Steve can get is from his own intuition and gut feelings. Not from any of us. They know what's best usually and are attuned to truth. But he has to reach deep within himself to sense them.

If you have a big decision to make, try this: Make each choice as though it were final and then swallow the choice. If it goes down your stomach smoothly, then it was the right choice. If it doesn't, then your deeper self is telling you something.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
User avatar
Winston
Site Admin
 
Posts: 23568
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 1:16 pm

Postby steve55 » Sun Jun 01, 2014 7:08 am

davewe wrote:
Winston wrote:
davewe wrote:I agree with all that everyone has said about her. OTOH I don't think you can tell that much from pics. But I wish Steve well; he seems like a good guy and deserves a nice girl.

However having gone through the visa process last year I think you should be really sure you want to marry her before the paperwork and attending madness begins. So visit a time or two more.

Why do I say this? First off, contrary to what that 90-day visa show implies, the fiancé visa is not intended as a "try before you buy" option. You are both required to sign a document declaring your intention to marry within 90 days. While it might be easy to assume it's just a formality, I think it's more than that. The K-1 Visa is not a seamless process. It can be a pain in the a** and certainly costs money. Even well adjusted couples can buckle under the stress. So I would not go to so much trouble until I was very sure.

And then there is the issue of what you will know within 90 days. She will be adjusting to a new country/city/home. You will be adjusting to a new person in your home. You will be helping her with virtually everything. You will be shopping for all the clothes and necessities that she needs in the US, but didn't need in the Philippines. And of course you will be planning a wedding. Even a simple wedding like we had takes some time, energy and money to put together.

IOW, the 90 days will go by in a blur. You will have fun, you will learn stuff about each other, but it's not enough time to "be sure" if you weren't sure before.

Just my opinion. I know many guys who only visited the girl once and then made it work. But in all those cases they were sure after the 1st visit. If you're not, visit her again. Good luck!


Steve just started a new job, so he can't just take off again to visit her again. Besides, I don't think they have anything to lose by doing this. I think the biggest issue is that she may miss her family.



Steve's a grown up and can do what he wants. I merely responded to his post that said they needed more time together to seal the deal and that the government deliberate gives you 90 days to make sure. I may be misinterpreting what Steve meant and if so I apologize. However, I don't think the government makes it 90 days so you can decide.

Guys marry in a thousand different ways for a thousand different reasons and Steve doesn't need my approval. But if he asked my advise I'd tell him to be more sure before filing the paperwork and not hope the 90 days answers all his questions.

As to the comment "I don't think they have anything to lose by doing this" - what they have to lose is to get married before they're ready. I hope that isn't the case but you have to admit in life it happens all the time.


I hear ya davewe. As Winston said, I don't think I can make it back. My back is too messed up to fly coach and I can't afford the hit of the cost of a first class ticket, and I can't get off work for another 12 months which is simply a big waste of time in my point of view.

The way I see it, I'm not sure what good it will do to make another 2 week trip to the Phils 12 months from now when we can spend up to 3 months here and now. If the concern is making the right decision and not moving too fast, isn't 3 months better than 2 weeks, especially when it's done in the US where a couple can get an even better idea in the actual environment of how their life will be??

Over the years I have seen heated debates on message boards about this issue, regarding why the government gives you so long , up to 3 months. I've encountered numerous websites on the issue (even immigration attorney sites) that say the same thing that the discovery channel 90 day fiancé show says, which is that the 90 days allows for a couple to be sure of their decision by having time together here and for the immigrant fiancée to make sure she wants to live with her fiancé in the US.

There are arguments for both sides. Technically, if interviewed on the subject, the government being as conservative as it is would probably take your view of it, I agree with that. But many people such as 90 day fiancé show and many legal immigration sites clearly think that it's for this purpose even if the government text technically doesn't specifically say that. I think if they admitted that, it would open the flood gates of abuse by people who will use it just for fun with never having intent. Many things in life are like this, sort of "unspoken".

Again, the best evidence I see on this issue is to ask does it take 90 days to get married?? No it doesn't, in fact, if the guy plans most of the wedding before his fiancé even arrives, it's extremely easy to get married within 1 -2 weeks of her arrival. Again, if it's all pre planned which there is plenty of time to do once a couple recieve noa2 and have an idea of her interview date, hence eta of her arrival date, it's extremely easy to do.

That alone is common sense that the 90 days is like an unspoken intent for the couple to have enough time to make sure of their decision. Even 90 day fiancé literally says this on their show. I remember it and it's implied on their website. I'm not claiming that the discovery channel is an authority on this issue. Lol. But it's proof that there is a commonly held belief and perception by a great many who see it this way.

Anyways, everyone has their opinion on the issue. And lastly, most importantly, jobie understands all this so there is no hidden agenda or false expectations. As far as she and I are concerned, we know what we are doing. Some people get bent out of shape about it because they feel it's bending the rules. Even if that were so , I'll be the first to admit , I'm not one to be a strict conformist when it comes to always following every written rule on the books as long as it's not hurting anyone else. :)

IOW, the 90 days will go by in a blur. You will have fun, you will learn stuff about each other, but it's not enough time to "be sure" if you weren't sure before.


Wow! How many couples have had more than 2-4 weeks together before they decide to marry??? I have two close friends who married Filipinas. 1 guy married after just one two week trip and another decided to marry after only 4 says together (I should know as I was with him when he first met her and 4 days later announced to me they decided to get married) my x filipina fiancée's American husband brought an engagement ring for her on his very first trip!!! Lol. It only took him 1 week to propose.

Basically, most guys only get 2 weeks off per year and so they end up pulling the trigger after only 1 trip. This is the case with every single couple I personally know, and by the way, all of these couples I mentioned had kids together and are going strong many years later. For me, it's been quite rare to hear of guys making several trips over several years before deciding to marry. So, that's why I found your comment about 90 days maybe not being enough as a bit of a surprise. :) What man can get anywhere near that much time off to spend with a girl even if over many years, unless he is self employed or makes a living off the Internet like Winston does. The average joe gets 2 weeks vacation per year.

Anyways, thanks to all who have positive comments.
* Member of the Happier Abroad Team and Owner of Global Dating Solution
steve55
Junior Poster
 
Posts: 630
Joined: Fri Jul 09, 2010 6:40 am
Location: Dallas, TX

Postby MarcosZeitola » Sun Jun 01, 2014 9:00 am

That's a pretty girl you got there! Congratulations, man! I bet she will make you beautiful babies. :D

She looks bright and intelligent too. Like a lady of some substance you won't get bored with even in the decades to come. Which is very important for long term relationships and commitment. Well done, good sir!
User avatar
MarcosZeitola
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1977
Joined: Sat May 31, 2014 7:13 pm
Location: Phillipines

Postby zboy1 » Sun Jun 01, 2014 3:46 pm

Congrats, Steve!

We should be happy that more and more HA members are finding their mates overseas.

I've recently dated this girl from Guangzhou, and I really like her: I'm hoping it goes deeper than my previous relationships in China.

It's not easy for anybody, so any success stories should be celebrated.
zboy1
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 4440
Joined: Thu Oct 04, 2007 4:33 am

Postby davewe » Sun Jun 01, 2014 4:51 pm

steve55 wrote:
I hear ya davewe. As Winston said, I don't think I can make it back. My back is too messed up to fly coach and I can't afford the hit of the cost of a first class ticket, and I can't get off work for another 12 months which is simply a big waste of time in my point of view.

The way I see it, I'm not sure what good it will do to make another 2 week trip to the Phils 12 months from now when we can spend up to 3 months here and now. If the concern is making the right decision and not moving too fast, isn't 3 months better than 2 weeks, especially when it's done in the US where a couple can get an even better idea in the actual environment of how their life will be??

Over the years I have seen heated debates on message boards about this issue, regarding why the government gives you so long , up to 3 months. I've encountered numerous websites on the issue (even immigration attorney sites) that say the same thing that the discovery channel 90 day fiancé show says, which is that the 90 days allows for a couple to be sure of their decision by having time together here and for the immigrant fiancée to make sure she wants to live with her fiancé in the US.

There are arguments for both sides. Technically, if interviewed on the subject, the government being as conservative as it is would probably take your view of it, I agree with that. But many people such as 90 day fiancé show and many legal immigration sites clearly think that it's for this purpose even if the government text technically doesn't specifically say that. I think if they admitted that, it would open the flood gates of abuse by people who will use it just for fun with never having intent. Many things in life are like this, sort of "unspoken".

Again, the best evidence I see on this issue is to ask does it take 90 days to get married?? No it doesn't, in fact, if the guy plans most of the wedding before his fiancé even arrives, it's extremely easy to get married within 1 -2 weeks of her arrival. Again, if it's all pre planned which there is plenty of time to do once a couple recieve noa2 and have an idea of her interview date, hence eta of her arrival date, it's extremely easy to do.

That alone is common sense that the 90 days is like an unspoken intent for the couple to have enough time to make sure of their decision. Even 90 day fiancé literally says this on their show. I remember it and it's implied on their website. I'm not claiming that the discovery channel is an authority on this issue. Lol. But it's proof that there is a commonly held belief and perception by a great many who see it this way.

Anyways, everyone has their opinion on the issue. And lastly, most importantly, jobie understands all this so there is no hidden agenda or false expectations. As far as she and I are concerned, we know what we are doing. Some people get bent out of shape about it because they feel it's bending the rules. Even if that were so , I'll be the first to admit , I'm not one to be a strict conformist when it comes to always following every written rule on the books as long as it's not hurting anyone else. :)

IOW, the 90 days will go by in a blur. You will have fun, you will learn stuff about each other, but it's not enough time to "be sure" if you weren't sure before.


Wow! How many couples have had more than 2-4 weeks together before they decide to marry??? I have two close friends who married Filipinas. 1 guy married after just one two week trip and another decided to marry after only 4 says together (I should know as I was with him when he first met her and 4 days later announced to me they decided to get married) my x filipina fiancée's American husband brought an engagement ring for her on his very first trip!!! Lol. It only took him 1 week to propose.

Basically, most guys only get 2 weeks off per year and so they end up pulling the trigger after only 1 trip. This is the case with every single couple I personally know, and by the way, all of these couples I mentioned had kids together and are going strong many years later. For me, it's been quite rare to hear of guys making several trips over several years before deciding to marry. So, that's why I found your comment about 90 days maybe not being enough as a bit of a surprise. :) What man can get anywhere near that much time off to spend with a girl even if over many years, unless he is self employed or makes a living off the Internet like Winston does. The average joe gets 2 weeks vacation per year.

Anyways, thanks to all who have positive comments.


The good news Steve is that you will have a number of months between the time you file and the time the Visa is approved. Took us 7 months which is typical. You will have all that time to cam online and continue to get to know each other better. And it will not be entirely stress free. The K-1 process is as I mentioned before a pain and there will be times of stress. I think it's positive because you will get to see how each of you responds.

The issue is not how much time you've spent together in person nor how many months or years you've known each other. As I mentioned previously I know many successful marriages where they only met once before getting the Visa. The issue is how sure the two people are. Love and marriage is strange in that way. A person can be sure in a day or not sure in ten years. You both have plenty of time.

I am sure you already know about Visa Journey. It's a great resource and at some point in the process, you'll have questions.
davewe
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1391
Joined: Wed Jul 27, 2011 2:21 am

PreviousNext

Return to General Discussions

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Yahoo [Bot] and 4 guests