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Why don't we fit in with hippie counter-culture groups?

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Why don't we fit in with hippie counter-culture groups?

Postby Winston » Tue Oct 02, 2007 9:54 am

This is my reason.

Why hippie counter-culture groups aren’t the answer to my ostracization in America

In America, if I want to go “counter-cultureâ€￾ it seems that the only group I can join are the pot smoking hippies with tattoos, piercings and long hair. Though they are nonjudgmental and inclusive, which is good, I don’t really fit in with them. Other than rebelling against US corporate industrial culture and materialism, I have little in common with them. They smoke pot, are usually lazy, irresponsible, unreliable, flaky, don’t keep their promises, smell bad, dress like slobs with no fashion sense, and are not even serious about life. And that is not how I am at all.

Frankly though, I’ve never seen the connection between desiring world peace, wanting to preserve the environment, and being anti-corporation/establishment, with having to smoke pot, get tattoos, piercings, long hair, and look like a degenerate bum. It seems very odd to me, as I don’t see why the former leads to the latter in America. I mean, why can’t a person believe in those things and look NORMAL and be drug-free at the same time?

Thus, I don’t really fit into that. Though I desire world peace, am eco-minded, and anti-establishment too, I have no desire to look or live like these hippies. Though we seem to have things in common on the surface, I find that I don’t connect with them on an inner level, for they aren’t really focused on the “inner levelâ€￾. Nor do they derive joy from intellectual pursuits. Thus I get disappointed when I try to connect with them after mistakenly assuming that they are like me.

I don’t consider them to be true intellectuals, freespirits, progressives or counter-culturalists who think outside the box, but mere social deviants which, though generally peaceful, are mere delinquents who hide behind the counter culture/freespirit concept as an excuse to do drugs, be lazy and waste time hanging out at hippie concerts.

These folks may give a good pep talk once in a while, but they are rarely serious about life. Many of them are energy vampires who will talk your ear off with endless nonsense. Though I am nice and like to give them a chance to enlighten me, I find that in the end, it’s a waste of time. Though they may have many creative and brilliant ideas, they rarely act on them. Thus they are almost zero on action. I can only tolerate that up to a certain point, for I am a man of ACTION, and I hate all talk and no action. And I hate wasting time too. Life is short and when you reach past 30, every week and month becomes a lot more precious than before.

Hanging out with these folks may be a fun temporary escape, as well as validation to me that I’m not alone or crazy in being a social misfit in America, but they are rarely fulfilling or meaningful. Plus, their hospitality toward me seems fleeting and temporary. They act nice and welcoming to me only because as peace-loving hippies/eco-freaks/alternative folks, they are “supposedâ€￾ to be nice, much like how church folks act nice toward you because they are supposed to be nice, not cause they are genuinely that way. Thus, they don’t even seem to be true long-term friends. Therefore, the relationships I’ve tried to have with them are nowhere near the genuineness and quality of those I’ve had abroad.

Besides smoking pot, their activities consist mainly of going to hippie concerts and events that try to emulate the Woodstock legend, with names like “Earth festivalâ€￾, “Peace and Lightâ€￾, “Sundanceâ€￾ or some other New Agey name. These concerts consist mainly of amateur mediocre music and bands which hippies like to hype on about but are tasteless and artless. And of course, there are the national “Rainbow Gatheringsâ€￾ and the big time (but expensive) yearly event in Nevada known as “Burning Manâ€￾ (which is ironic since most hippies are poor, jobless and thus can’t afford the $200 - $300 entrance fee for the event).

Now don’t get me wrong. I am very wild too, but not wild in the way these folks are. At Burning Man for instance, they get naked, make animal noises, dance around the fire, make clay sculptures, and other thing-a-majigs, some of which are downright stupid and tasteless. And they utter retarded phrases like “Yo dude!â€￾ and “Alllll right mannnnn!â€￾ similar in tone to that character in the movie “Son in Lawâ€￾ back in 1993. They seem very uncultured as well as uncivilized, and I don’t see anything pleasurable or fulfilling about what they do. It’s not getting wild with hot women either, but mostly with men who act retarded and are incapable of high quality intellectual conversations.

I don’t mean to judge these folks. These are just my observations. But of course, everyone is doing the best they can from their perspective.

Now some of these hippies are more progressive in that they are into the organic food movement, are vegetarians (like me), and also into holistic treatments and remedies. And some even go so far as living on organic farms or eco-villages as a statement of eco-living, living a totally non-materialistic lifestyle in harmony with the environment. These folks are more admirable to me and very well informed in holistic fields. But even they are usually occasional pot smokers at least. And I don’t see why you have to smoke pot to be eco-minded.

But the biggest problem I have with these hippie groups in America of course, is that the females don’t tend to be romantically interested or attracted to me. They engage in polite conversation with me, but that’s it. They are not wild and passionate in the way that I like, at least not toward me. Instead, they tend to be attracted to white hippie type guys who have long hair, tattoos, piercings, play music and smoke pot. And I don’t fit that bill of course. But beside that, most American hippie girls don’t tend to be very attractive anyway, but are somewhat Tom-boy like. And the ones that are hot already have scores of male friends to choose from, again the typical problem in America.

Simply put, these “free loveâ€￾ flower girls don’t give me any “free loveâ€￾ (or even paid love for that matter).

Now, hippie chicks are more open minded and inclusive than most American females, which is nice, but like most American females they are merely polite and distant toward me. And knowing me, I have a NEED to be around attractive women who are engaging and wild with me, which I get abroad, but not in these hippie groups, which leave me deprived and unsatisfied.

It’s as if around them, I’m expected to not have any sexual desires or passions, but merely be polite and show interest in their eco-causes. Thus, to be appropriate around them, I have to put on this “goody-two-shoesâ€￾ mask that I get tired of after a while. Since these hippie chicks have no sexual or romantic interest in them, they think I’m supposed to act like I have no interest in them either, as if I’m happy to be celibate. Yeah right. No way jose. I can do better than that and I am doing better than that.

Frankly, I think there should be other ways to be “counter-cultureâ€￾ or against the US industrial establishment than to join these pot smoking hippie groups. Why can’t I just find NORMAL intellectuals who think and live outside the box but look normal? In America, it’s difficult, but in Europe, they’re everywhere.

Other inclusive groups in America are church groups and religious cults. Now, church groups do tend to be an inclusive environment, though that varies from church to church. And religious cults tend to be VERY inclusive and accepting of everyone. But to fit in with these folks, you have to be very naïve and willing to believe all sorts of extreme tenets and teachings for no logical reason other than because “they say soâ€￾. And as you might have noticed, that’s not really me either.

In addition, the folks in these groups tend to be very conservative, prim and proper, and anti-sex to the point that having sexual desires is like a grave sin to them. Thus, around them I feel this pressure to PRETEND that I have no sexual desires, or else be subject to condemnation. And of course, I find that very repressive and suffocating.

Therefore, none of these groups above have been a satisfying answer to my ostracization in America. Again, the only TRUE solution that has worked, is GOING ABROAD, for the reasons outlined in this ebook.
Last edited by Winston on Mon Dec 30, 2013 3:23 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Postby Winston » Wed Nov 21, 2007 7:39 am

Here's a great email response I got to this essay:

"Wow....agreed, why can't normal looking people go counter-culture as well?? I agree with you on a lot of this. That "burning man" thing you were talking about...desiring to find politically active, culturally aware, industry averse, normal individuals is extremely difficult! I have a few amazing friends at my school who are this way (and are even clean-shaven and pot free) and it's a relief. It disturbs me, in a way, that I am expected to accept (and even desire??) the pot culture if I want to go against the grain at all. Associating with some of these individuals...makes me feel as if they really don't care about any causes, only having an excuse to be lazy, neglect themselves and smoke pot. I think I've found a haven in my International Studies major at school. My professors are open-minded, organic/vegetarian/holistical health-minded, aware of politics, culture, and society...and so are the students! But I would say that this is certainly an exception to the rule, rather than the rule itself (and you often display). Still, even at times, I find myself to be an anomaly...not desiring to take drugs, being vegetarian, caring for politics...I don't belong here! Like you, I feel the need to get out. As for the whole girls thing...besides my few exceptions of friends...most of the girls I know just aren't that passionate and wild in the way I think you are talking about. And like you said, many will choose the white males over anyone else! I don't mean to sound crass, but the world offers up many exotic flavors, and I don't understand why these girls can't try some of them?? My boyfriend is Japanese, there's a very attractive Iraqi sitting next to me, a cute Korean guy behind me, etc. I wish these girls would just...open their minds! If they're open enough to try pot, etc., why not try "new flavors" in other areas too? (Again, excuse my crudeness--I use this more of an analogy than anything).
So, just to show you there are some sane people in America, I included a picture of myself, hahahaahaha :). I'm a normal looking, clean and nice-smelling, in-shape American girl who is culturally and politically and environmentally aware. I am a vegetarian, try to buy local and organic as much as possible, care (even worry excessively) about national and international issues in health, politics, human rights, etc.... I have many international friends, have a (native) Japanese boyfriend, love travelling and learning about new cultures....can actually locate Kazakhstan (although that's kind of an easy one), Malaysia, etc. on a map and...I've never even SEEN pot, let alone smoked it. :)
So...is there hope? Probably not much, but at least there are some people out there suffering from the same problems and feeling the same way as you!! :D
Take care Winston,
Megan"
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Postby Winston » Tue Nov 24, 2009 9:12 pm

Another response:

“Hello Winston:

I am reading your revised, updated book as of August 2009, and I must say that so far it's are real eye-opener.

I especially liked the topic about hippies, and how even hippies chicks are judgmental about looks.

Not too long ago, I was at an all-outdoor event where hippies and political progressives were championing the whole "legalize marijuana" issue. I had the chance to meet several hippie chicks, and you're right when you say that they too are discriminatory, as if guys like us don't have any sexual desires. I talked to plenty of these women and the only guys they seemed to be hooked up with or interested in were fellow low-life, tatooed hippies like themselves. Now don't get me wrong, I am not against the peaceful side of hippies. I too think that we need to be non-violent. But nevertheless, your points were greatly made about why men have to leave this country for love, romance, and sex rather than join some cult.

Also, what men who are suffereing this loneliness lifestyle fail to realize is that even hippies and church-going people still live in the brutal matrix that everyone else lives in. They are no more escaping it then every non-hippy and every non-religious person. And being that hippies and church people are living in this matrix, they too judge their fellow human beings by how much money they make, how popular they are, and how good-looking they are. There's no escaping it. Hippies are hippies because they need a pseudo cause to explain why they want to be poor, dumpy, and lay around smoking weed all the time. In all reality, hippies are actually mooches, and very rarely are they the types that will open their homes or shantys to someone and say "Come in, we'll feed you and give you a place to stay!" They are very narcissistic. The whole 1960s social experiment proves what idiots and phonies these people really are. They all morphed into the same characters in the 1983 movie The Big Chill, followed up by the late 80s series Thirtysomething. That's what hippies became; self-centered, selfish yuppies.

Anyways Winston, I don't want to get into a three page discussion on this subject. But I do want to say good job on your ebook. You are a brilliant orator and you are very good at articulating in succinct detail the plight of men today. Keep up the good work.

Steveâ€￾
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Postby momopi » Fri Nov 27, 2009 5:07 pm

This isn't specifically directed at hippies per se,

The act of popularization of "counter culture" itself is self-defeating. Once something becomes popular and is adopted by popular culture, everyone will use it for their own purposes (see: Che Guevara). The original meaning and actions of the counter-culture movement itself becomes lost, or "phony".

Che Guevara himself came to this realization after the Cuban revolution. When he was younger, he traveled across South America and witnessed crushing poverty, but was greatly impressed by those living in a leper colony helping each other. He commented "the highest forms of human solidarity and loyalty arise among such lonely and desperate people".

However, after the revolution, he was appointed to the position of Finance Minister and President of the National Bank. When he found that it was his job to sign his name on the new Cuban currency, he came to the realization that he had become the very thing that he detested -- a victim of his own success.
Last edited by momopi on Tue Dec 31, 2013 6:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Winston » Fri Nov 27, 2009 6:43 pm

momopi wrote:This isn't specficially directed at hippies per se,

The act of popularization of "counter culture" itself is self-defeating. Once something becomes popular and is adopted by popular culture, everyone will use it for their own purposes (see: Che Guevara). The original meaning and actions of the counter-culture movement itself becomes lost, or "phony".

Che Guevara himself came to this realization after the Cuban revolution. When he was younger, he traveled across South America and witnessed crusing poverty, but was greatly impessed by those living in a leper colony helping each other. He commented "the highest forms of human solidarity and loyalty arise among such lonely and desperate people".

However, after the revolution, he was appointed to the position of Finance Minister and President of the National Bank. When he found that it was his job to sign his name on the new Cuban currency, he came to the realization that he had become the very thing that he detested -- a victim of his own success.


Isn't that the guy whose drawing is hung up in a lot of hippie's dwelling places? Why do they do that? Do they even know anything about him?

Wasn't he the guy featured in the film "The Motorcycle Diaries" and wasn't he shot by the CIA?
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Postby Winston » Mon Dec 30, 2013 3:33 pm

I'm curious about something. How come none of us here on HA fit into those hippie pot-smoking counter culture groups? You know, the types that go to Rainbow Gatherings and Woodstock imitation concerts and events like Burning Man, etc?

Theoretically, those groups claim to be non-conformist too, as well as anti-authority and anti-materialism and anti-corporatism. So aren't they on the same page as us? If so, why aren't any of us in such groups? So far, no one I know here is.

Are any of you hippies? Do any of you smoke pot or go to Rainbow Gatherings or wear tye-dye shirts or dress like Bohemians, etc?

So anyway, since such counter culture groups share a lot of our values and attitudes, why don't we fit in with them? And why haven't we joined them? Is there a logical reason?

Are they not all they're cracked up to be?

What I hate are those hippie/Bohemian dressed girls who hug everyone superficially and shout "love and peace to all" but have no personal emotion invested into those they hug. After all, if she's hugging everyone because she believes in "spreading love around the planet" then it's nothing special. It's so unfulfilling and unsatisfying.

So is there a logical reason we aren't a part of their groups?
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

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