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Feeling Lonely After Seeing Couples

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Postby Cornfed » June 15th, 2014, 10:28 pm

eurobrat wrote:I don't know, Tsar sounds spoiled and it looks like him being spoiled has warped into entitlement. At 24 still living at home with no job...

For the vast majority of male college graduates, there are no jobs/career paths available in their field these days. That is just the reality. If there was a job for you, it is a case of you being damn lucky. As to living at home, why should he not? Functional societies design houses for multiple generations of people and have concepts like ancestral land.
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Postby S_Parc » June 15th, 2014, 10:31 pm

eurobrat wrote:
S_Parc wrote:As for fantasies.... this is why I'd made that list of ages 13, 17, 24, 29+. I believe that the OP is somewhere at the 1st gateway where his Don Quixote dreams have him believing that he's fighting for Excalibur, Camelot (or something). It would be like me, looking for that great adventure, since Obi-Wan Kenobi will teach me once I hit my twenties. Sorry, but I was done with phantasmagorical adventures at 13 pronto. From then on, it was coping with the raw deal of having been born into a psychotic family. I was on my way towards adulthood, a s it was only 4 years into the future from there. And it was the 2nd gateway, 17, when I started to actively look for women.


I don't know, Tsar sounds spoiled and it looks like him being spoiled has warped into entitlement. At 24 still living at home with no job... When I was 24 I had already graduated college, was about to pay off the loan on my truck, I was working full-time, had my own apartment in the nicer part of LA fully furnished and I was dating a 27 year old girl who I had met online.


How it happens is individual. I knew a guy, who was convinced that he was destined for superstardom, as a guitar prodigy, like a Hendrix, Beck, or Vaughn. Well, he did learn to play the guitar and from what I'd gathered, was pretty good at it, however, he could never launch a career as he was stuck at that 13-15 year old junction, thinking that record execs were going to be hounding him with lucrative sign-on contracts. In the end, upon hitting his early forties, when reality started settling in & none of his band ideas ever came to fruition, he turned to Oxycontin and that was the last I'd heard from him.
16 years ago, the Best Picture of 1999, "American Beauty", telegraphed the message of Happier Abroad to the world.

Beware of long term engagements with AWs, you may find yourself in a coffin.

AB discussion thread

BTW, despite settling down with an AW, myself, the warning is still in effect.
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Postby eurobrat » June 15th, 2014, 10:34 pm

Cornfed wrote:
eurobrat wrote:I don't know, Tsar sounds spoiled and it looks like him being spoiled has warped into entitlement. At 24 still living at home with no job...

For the vast majority of male college graduates, there are no jobs/career paths available in their field these days. That is just the reality. If there was a job for you, it is a case of you being damn lucky. As to living at home, why should he not? Functional societies design houses for multiple generations of people and have concepts like ancestral land.


This is not true, he's not even trying to do anything with himself. There's plenty of work out there for anyone who tries. Societies that have houses for multiple generations of people are not any more functional and often have lower living standards.
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Postby MarcosZeitola » June 15th, 2014, 10:36 pm

I wonder if he is in any way impaired, challenged or something?

Tsar comes across as a nice enough fellow and I mean no offense with this, but the pedantic way in which he writes his comments, his talk of honor and dishonor, of codes, his technical way of viewing situation and even his obvious intellect...

It all seems to point towards some sort of social issue, something developmental. Autism, perhaps? He's certainly socially stunted in some ways, as he has said on this thread that he has not had friends since high school. His life seems rather lonely and empty.

I think he should be focused on his social skills first and foremost. He might also profit from seeking some form of treatment, perhaps a diagnosis if he does not have one already.

Again, I mean no offense here this is just the vibe I am getting.
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Postby eurobrat » June 15th, 2014, 10:52 pm

MarcosZeitola wrote:I wonder if he is in any way impaired, challenged or something?

Tsar comes across as a nice enough fellow and I mean no offense with this, but the pedantic way in which he writes his comments, his talk of honor and dishonor, of codes, his technical way of viewing situation and even his obvious intellect...

It all seems to point towards some sort of social issue, something developmental. Autism, perhaps? He's certainly socially stunted in some ways, as he has said on this thread that he has not had friends since high school. His life seems rather lonely and empty.

I think he should be focused on his social skills first and foremost. He might also profit from seeking some form of treatment, perhaps a diagnosis if he does not have one already.

Again, I mean no offense here this is just the vibe I am getting.


I think he just has a large case of being spoiled by his parents and also self pity with a dash of the victim mentality.
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Postby Cornfed » June 15th, 2014, 10:53 pm

eurobrat wrote:This is not true, he's not even trying to do anything with himself. There's plenty of work out there for anyone who tries.

This issue isn't rocket science. At present there is one graduate job for, I think, every 12 graduates. It is no more possible for all graduates to get jobs than to pour a pint into a shot glass without spillage. Now consider that a lot of those few positions would go to females hired as corporate whores, blacks hired under apefirmative action, rich tossers hired because Daddy makes a phone call etc. and it should be obvious that very few ordinary men graduating from college will be able to get jobs. In shrinking industries, which is most industries these days, the first thing to be cut is the training budget, in which case there are NO graduate jobs. We have already heard in other treads that this is the case in parts of the IT sector. You really should do some research before making yourself look stupid by posting absurdities.

Societies that have houses for multiple generations of people are not any more functional and often have lower living standards

The current/recent past mode of living in the West is a costly extravagance that only a rich and decadent society can afford temporarily before it crashes and burns. The fact is we are poor now. It doesn't look like we are poor because there is still stuff lying around from when we were rich, but we are. If we want to survive at all we are going to have to economize and stick together, rather that thinking it is some kind of moral imperative to be as wasteful and atomized as possible.
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Postby Maverick » June 15th, 2014, 10:54 pm

eurobrat wrote:
Cornfed wrote:
eurobrat wrote:I don't know, Tsar sounds spoiled and it looks like him being spoiled has warped into entitlement. At 24 still living at home with no job...

For the vast majority of male college graduates, there are no jobs/career paths available in their field these days. That is just the reality. If there was a job for you, it is a case of you being damn lucky. As to living at home, why should he not? Functional societies design houses for multiple generations of people and have concepts like ancestral land.


This is not true, he's not even trying to do anything with himself. There's plenty of work out there for anyone who tries. Societies that have houses for multiple generations of people are not any more functional and often have lower living standards.


True.

I'm a relative new grad myself with absolutely no connections. I just did a lot of research in college into what fields will likely result in jobs and why. So when I graduated, I easily got a job. I also found a way to graduate without debt. It's all about clearly defined goal-setting, research, and perseverance.

Also, I have a friend that is currently in college. He has no debt (he is able to pay off his school as he goes) and he is able to get jobs with ease. He recently quit 2 jobs that he was working part time and just got 2 more. So it's definitely doable. And, no, this guy doesn't have any connections either. In fact, he's a black guy from Africa who was orphaned at a young age and made his way to the US, eventually getting citizenship. He's a survivor and a good example that you really can have anything you want in life if you just go for it and don't make excuses. He's only 21 now, but I'm sure that he'll be extremely successful in the future.

In any event, I think OP needs to change his attitude. Both he and Cornfed have defeatist attitudes, which will likely lead to a failure in reaching their goals or, possibly, a failure to even embark upon the path to reach their goals.
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Postby mattyman » June 15th, 2014, 10:59 pm

A lot of what's being given to Tsar looks like people ganging-up and belittling more than anything. Hardly anything I've seen in response to the OP is sympathetic to how he might be feeling.

Don't you get it? He's almost-certainly very socially-isolated and he's probably dealt with some right assholes in his time. Don't judge and don't belittle.

As for the belittling about the job situation, living at home and that load of jazz. I thought that this was pretty much against the mentality of 'you are what you do', 'without a job you're a worthless piece of shit' or you're a loser if you live at home' mentality.

This board is so rife with hypocrisy and pettiness. I mean, all the things ranted about here, all the things typical of 'the west' and 'western women' that people rant about on here, there's plenty of evidence of it's display here. In so many ways, this forum has become the very thing that it was speaking against, it's attracted exactly the same attitudes that.

Do you f***ing et it, you behave like that to people in a situation like that, they'll just get defensive and close off to you. There really is no need for aggression, belittling and down-talking. Whatever Tsar's situation, behaving like this towards him certainly won't help.

After all, this is just opinion at the end of the day. Some of you people have an ego that's too big for your boots that's the problem.

Of particular importance, he did say he has a hard time trusting people. He says he been betrayed many times in the past. I don't know his situation enough to give advice,, but I do think that this is of particular relevance to his situation. I don't know how comfortable he feels opening-up about his life yet.

With the sort of treatment I've seen earlier in this post, that looks very unlikely.
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Postby MarcosZeitola » June 15th, 2014, 10:59 pm

Maverick wrote:In any event, I think OP needs to change his attitude. Both he and Cornfed have defeatist attitudes, which will likely lead to a failure in reaching their goals or, possibly, a failure to even embark upon the path to reach their goals.


This is very, very true and it hits the core of the issue at hand.

Defeatism is the biggest enemy of these men. Defeatism, plain and simple. They will never amount to anything. Achieve anything. Realize their dreams. Unless they are willing to make huge adjustments to their lives, realize they are wasting their time and work there asses off every single day to get to the point they wish to ultimately be at.

Tsar said in a thread once that he would give his future children expensive video games and consoles as he believes a young kid "deserves" these things and its a sign of parental love to give them this. Shit like that tells me everything I need to know about this boys attitude. Boy I say, as he's clearly a manchild. A boy in a grown man's body, desperately refusing to grow up and face the real world outside of his cosy parental home.

He's not a bad guy and I genuinely wish him well. But he has some deep-seated issues to fix, some demons of his own to battle. And he has to face these challenges and obstacles and strive towards overcoming them, if he ever wants to get ahead in life. He already wasted six years of his adult life from what I gather.
Last edited by MarcosZeitola on June 15th, 2014, 11:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby eurobrat » June 15th, 2014, 11:00 pm

Cornfed wrote:This issue isn't rocket science. At present there is one graduate job for, I think, every 12 graduates. It is no more possible for all graduates to get jobs than to pour a pint into a shot glass without spillage. Now consider that a lot of those few positions would go to females hired as corporate whores, blacks hired under apefirmative action, rich tossers hired because Daddy makes a phone call etc. and it should be obvious that very few ordinary men graduating from college will be able to get jobs. In shrinking industries, which is most industries these days, the first thing to be cut is the training budget, in which case there are NO graduate jobs. We have already heard in other treads that this is the case in parts of the IT sector. You really should do some research before making yourself look stupid by posting absurdities.


More excuses and entitlement for those kids who think going to school means they are owed a job. Tsar doesn't want to leave home, so obviously his employment options will be nil and he will be stuck to what he's qualified to locally only. Which by the looks of it, is not much...
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Postby In2dadark » June 15th, 2014, 11:01 pm

publicduende wrote:
In2dadark wrote:
Tsar wrote:
I would have been a lot happier if I did have friends but most people are cruel. I lost my only real shot at having friends in America when I was in high school. People in the northeast aren't the most welcoming, friendly, open, or warm people. Utah, the Midwest, or South would have given me a better experience than the Northeast. Life circumstances dealt me some very poor cards and I have to play the hand I was dealt.


Very true. I grew up in the Ne & moved away a few times, finally in my 20's. Had a vacation home up there until last month. It is 20 times worse than when I was young. Get out of there ASAP.


Just making excuses. Do you really think your loneliness problem in the US is only solved by having the good luck of being born in the right state/county/neighbourhood combination?


Where did I say that... Guess you've got your own conversation going on in your head?
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Postby Cornfed » June 15th, 2014, 11:03 pm

Maverick wrote:I'm a relative new grad myself with absolutely no connections. I just did a lot of research in college into what fields will likely result in jobs and why. So when I graduated, I easily got a job.

So you graduated in the right field at the right time and got a job. That doesn't indicate there are plenty of jobs, only plenty in your field (or you were lucky). If there were plenty of jobs overall, then why would you have needed to bother researching which fields there were jobs in? Clearly there you got lucky as well, because the market could have changed, hiring policy could have changed or government policy could have changed, causing you to become unemployable. This happened to a lot of people with the dot com bust. People looking at rock solid certain career paths had they graduated a year earlier were rendered unemployable overnight.
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Postby mattyman » June 15th, 2014, 11:03 pm

"I think he just has a large case of being spoiled by his parents and also self pity with a dash of the victim mentality.

"
Come-on now, this looks like a very short-sighted conclusion to jump to.

What facts do you know about him do you know or more to the point; what particular issues that maybe relevant to him, such as friendship and trust, being betrayed etc. (if he has brought-up any, which I doubt very much) are you able to relate to?
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Postby Cornfed » June 15th, 2014, 11:05 pm

eurobrat wrote:
Cornfed wrote:This issue isn't rocket science. At present there is one graduate job for, I think, every 12 graduates. It is no more possible for all graduates to get jobs than to pour a pint into a shot glass without spillage. Now consider that a lot of those few positions would go to females hired as corporate whores, blacks hired under apefirmative action, rich tossers hired because Daddy makes a phone call etc. and it should be obvious that very few ordinary men graduating from college will be able to get jobs. In shrinking industries, which is most industries these days, the first thing to be cut is the training budget, in which case there are NO graduate jobs. We have already heard in other treads that this is the case in parts of the IT sector. You really should do some research before making yourself look stupid by posting absurdities.


More excuses and entitlement for those kids who think going to school means they are owed a job.

Actually I was just stating facts. You must be brain damaged or something.
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Postby In2dadark » June 15th, 2014, 11:06 pm

mattyman wrote:A lot of what's being given to Tsar looks like people ganging-up and belittling more than anything. Hardly anything I've seen in response to the OP is sympathetic to how he might be feeling.

Don't you get it? He's almost-certainly very socially-isolated and he's probably dealt with some right assholes in his time. Don't judge and don't belittle.

As for the belittling about the job situation, living at home and that load of jazz. I thought that this was pretty much against the mentality of 'you are what you do', 'without a job you're a worthless piece of shit' or you're a loser if you live at home' mentality.

This board is so rife with hypocrisy and pettiness. I mean, all the things ranted about here, all the things typical of 'the west' and 'western women' that people rant about on here, there's plenty of evidence of it's display here. In so many ways, this forum has become the very thing that it was speaking against, it's attracted exactly the same attitudes that.

Do you f***ing et it, you behave like that to people in a situation like that, they'll just get defensive and close off to you. There really is no need for aggression, belittling and down-talking. Whatever Tsar's situation, behaving like this towards him certainly won't help.

After all, this is just opinion at the end of the day. Some of you people have an ego that's too big for your boots that's the problem.

Of particular importance, he did say he has a hard time trusting people. He says he been betrayed many times in the past. I don't know his situation enough to give advice,, but I do think that this is of particular relevance to his situation. I don't know how comfortable he feels opening-up about his life yet.

With the sort of treatment I've seen earlier in this post, that looks very unlikely.


Pretty much...
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