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P4P stopped making me happy, what now?

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Postby Bstyle » June 23rd, 2014, 4:48 am

[quote="newlifeinphilippines"]bstyle were things better a few years ago? Cause some are saying maybe 4 or 5 years ago cebu for example was easy to score. Or do you think its always been the same p4p and poor moocher and gold digger story?[/quote]
My first visit to the Philippines was to a small city in Iloilo province in 2008. I went there to meet a woman who I met on a dating website and she ended up robbing me. Tried to talk to some other girls there but couldn't find one interested in me. I went to Manila after that and ended up going on a P4P spree. I probably nailed like 50 prostitutes. Before that I thought P4P was beneath me, but after being a desert dick for 4 years I just said f**k it. I left to go back to Thailand but then I came back in 2009 to Cebu where I got a job teaching English to Korean students. Stayed for a year and did a little bit of traveling around the country before going back to Thailand again. I went back to the Philippines a couple more times for short visits, the last was in 2012 but I never went back to Cebu city after I left in 2010. I doubt Cebu changed that much since then though, at least as far as women and gold digging goes. The smaller cities were no different in that regard either.
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Postby Maverick » June 23rd, 2014, 5:22 am

It's crazy to me how guys could have such a wide range of experiences in the same place....
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Postby newlifeinphilippines » June 23rd, 2014, 7:30 am

Maverick wrote:It's crazy to me how guys could have such a wide range of experiences in the same place....


Im telling you this place is like america no different. There is gold diggers, independant feminist minded, girls with shallow pesonalities, prostitutes, girls with no brain whatsoever, and then girls who are smart. Only 10 percent are smart but very few of those will actually go for YOU actively for various reasons (they tend to go for filipino guys). That leaves mainly only poor and the uneducated chasing you with very bland and idiotic personalities. The ones that dont fit that demographic are gold diggers and dont love you (like the nurse girl IMO i just met). Ive given up finding love. Im actually thinking i have a better shot of finding love in america. Sounds crazy but im starting to think happier abroad is a marketing logo based on fantasy. Even americaninbangkok who lived herre for 15 years says its hard to find a decent girl in thailand who doesn't just want to mooch off you or be a hoe and actually loves you. Plenty of guys living in phil can't find a quality wife (only uglies or undesirables). I haven't dated around that much like some guys but im starting to see the reason why some guys date through dozens and can't be satisfied here. Americaninbangkok also uses the slogan "dont travel for the p***y". I think he is starting to be right for even a die hard like me desperate for sex. Its almost not worth it and i might take a extended break. But its so damn boring in america. :(


Of course it depends on what your looking for your looking for because some of us are damn picky or looking for something that is hard in the philippines. Iknow your looking for a wife who doesn't put out and you dont care about looks. That would be easy to find, except you want educated and intelligent. Well chances are if they are that then they probably are a huge gold digger and dont love you so thats another dilemma. I think ill stick to low hanging fruit it seems easier to control the women anyways and some are hot. The educated girls are just gold diggers with a feminist mindset quite often so why bother. I guess steve55 was lucky that his wife doesn't come off as a gold digger although i suspect even she is since she is willing to go to america when she barely knows him pas t a few days. Real women dont do that usually. Oh well.
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Re: P4P stopped making me happy, what now?

Postby E Irizarry R&B Singer » June 23rd, 2014, 7:41 am

Bstyle wrote:I'm 35 years old and lived in Asia for 7 years and recently just moved back to America. I lived in the Philippines and Thailand but did a little time in China too. Most if not all of the sex and even relationships I had in Asia were P4P arrangements of one kind or another. A couple times it took me a while to realize I was just getting used and ended up getting really hurt.

It really isn't about sex for me anymore. I just want a wholesome relationship with a woman who honestly loves me, and I was unable to find that in Asia. A lot of you guys only seem to be in it for the P4P and that's cool but what should I do at this point in my life? I feel like I'm having my midlife crisis a few years early.


Which Asian languages do you speak?
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Debut mixtape "The Skilled Neophyte of RNB (x64)" dropping Spring 2016 - Follow me on Twitter @eirizarryRNB
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Postby E Irizarry R&B Singer » June 23rd, 2014, 7:46 am

newlifeinphilippines wrote:
Maverick wrote:It's crazy to me how guys could have such a wide range of experiences in the same place....


Im telling you this place is like america no different. There is gold diggers, independant feminist minded, girls with shallow pesonalities, hoes, girls with no brain whatsoever, and then girls who are smart. Only 10 percent are smart but very few of those will actually go for YOU actively for various reasons (they tend to go for filipino guys). That leaves mainly only poor and the uneducated chasing you with very bland and idiotic personalities. The ones that dont fit that demographic are gold diggers and dont love you (like the nurse girl IMO i just met). Ive given up finding love. Im actually thinking i have a better shot of finding love in america. Sounds crazy but im starting to think happier abroad is a marketing logo based on fantasy. Even americaninbangkok who lived herre for 15 years says its hard to find a decent girl in thailand who doesn't just want to mooch off you or be a hoe and actually loves you. Plenty of guys living in phil can't find a quality wife (only uglies or undesirables). I haven't dated around that much like some guys but im starting to see the reason why some guys date through dozens and can't be satisfied here. Americaninbangkok also uses the slogan "dont travel for the p***y". I think he is starting to be right for even a die hard like me desperate for sex. Its almost not worth it and i might take a extended break. But its so damn boring in america. :(


Of course it depends on what your looking for your looking for because some of us are damn picky or looking for something that is hard in the philippines. Iknow your looking for a wife who doesn't put out and you dont care about looks. That would be easy to find, except you want educated and intelligent. Well chances are if they are that then they probably are a huge gold digger and dont love you so thats another dilemma. I think ill stick to low hanging fruit it seems easier to control the women anyways and some are hot. The educated girls are just gold diggers with a feminist mindset quite often so why bother. I guess steve55 was lucky that his wife doesn't come off as a gold digger although i suspect even she is since she is willing to go to america when she barely knows him pas t a few days. Real women dont do that usually. Oh well.


There's a lot of truth in this quote.
It's time to expatriate to evade your fate; it's time to expatriate before the barn door permanently closes on "US" sheep.
Debut mixtape "The Skilled Neophyte of RNB (x64)" dropping Spring 2016 - Follow me on Twitter @eirizarryRNB
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Postby Halwick » June 23rd, 2014, 8:38 am

Bstyle wrote:
newlifeinphilippines wrote:I hate to say it but i sort of agree with you. I may start looking for an american wife LOL


I think soemoen needs to create a forum called happier back in america again. :P

I think there needs to be more realistic information about what a white guy or any foreigner can expect in Asia. You will not find true love nor will you be the object of lust. In countries like the Philippines you can get mooching gold-diggers or do lots of P4P fairly cheap. The latter is a much better idea and will end up being cheaper. Expecting anything more than that will end in tears.


I think the problem most western/white guys have with Asian women is not understanding their culture and trying to woo and romance them as they would a western woman. The western romantic idea of "putting a woman on a pedestal and worshipping the ground she walks", sending notes of "affection", expressing your "love to her while on your knees" just isn't going to resonate positively to a Asian woman. In fact, they'll think any man who does this is a fool. (Although Filipinas, who are hopeless romanticists at heart, will probably love this.)

Also, the Asian definition of "love" isn't the same as the Western definition; their definition rests on the ability to fulfill duties and obligations to each other. They are very serious, have a more practical perspective, and a view a prospective husband on his status in life and ability to financially support her and her family. In return, she will fulfill her obligation of taking care of you, deferring to you and presenting an image or "face" as a good supportive wife.

An old expat with many years of service in the Orients told me: Expect the rules to be different; Believe half of what you see and nothing of what you hear; Don't surrender your power; stay in control, set your limits. Se with your eyes and brain (not your dick). If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. Asian women do not respect a wimp, so don't allow it to happen. Learn the language, but don't let them know you understand their conversations; you'll learn a lot.
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Postby newlifeinphilippines » June 23rd, 2014, 8:47 am

Halwick wrote:
Bstyle wrote:
newlifeinphilippines wrote:I hate to say it but i sort of agree with you. I may start looking for an american wife LOL


I think soemoen needs to create a forum called happier back in america again. :P

I think there needs to be more realistic information about what a white guy or any foreigner can expect in Asia. You will not find true love nor will you be the object of lust. In countries like the Philippines you can get mooching gold-diggers or do lots of P4P fairly cheap. The latter is a much better idea and will end up being cheaper. Expecting anything more than that will end in tears.


I think the problem most western/white guys have with Asian women is not understanding their culture and trying to woo and romance them as they would a western woman. The western romantic idea of "putting a woman on a pedestal and worshipping the ground she walks", sending notes of "affection", expressing your "love to her while on your knees" just isn't going to resonate positively to a Asian woman. In fact, they'll think any man who does this is a fool. (Although Filipinas, who are hopeless romanticists at heart, will probably love this.)

Also, the Asian definition of "love" isn't the same as the Western definition; their definition rests on the ability to fulfill duties and obligations to each other. They are very serious, have a more practical perspective, and a view a prospective husband on his status in life and ability to financially support her and her family. In return, she will fulfill her obligation of taking care of you, deferring to you and presenting an image or "face" as a good supportive wife.

An old expat with many years of service in the Orients told me: Expect the rules to be different; Believe half of what you see and nothing of what you hear; Don't surrender your power; stay in control, set your limits. Se with your eyes and brain (not your dick). If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. Asian women do not respect a wimp, so don't allow it to happen. Learn the language, but don't let them know you understand their conversations; you'll learn a lot.


Ive been told that filipino guys are not "romantic", caring and gentleman more than us probably but not romantic or passionate or even good at sex. my girlfriend at the moment says filipino guys are "boring" sexually. Yet they seem to get women there. So yeah it seems to be base don money and looks there not any real passion or affection on the guys part. Filipinas are supposed to be very affectinate and passioante but the only girl i found like that truly was my barhoe but that doesn't count.
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Postby Tezcatlipoca » June 23rd, 2014, 8:55 am

Starchild I half think you're absolutely nuts and half think you're sharing a divine vision with us. I hope you're right

Ntm1972 thanks for posting that link about country analysis it was fascinating and I can see how the culture I grew up in shaped my personality and put me in conflict with American/western values! Perhaps this is true for others in America as well who grew up in a particular subculture
Stop being angry at the stuff you don't have (yet) in life and instead focus on how to get it.
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Re: P4P stopped making me happy, what now?

Postby Array9 » June 23rd, 2014, 2:13 pm

Bstyle wrote:I'm 35 years old and lived in Asia for 7 years and recently just moved back to America. I lived in the Philippines and Thailand but did a little time in China too. Most if not all of the sex and even relationships I had in Asia were P4P arrangements of one kind or another. A couple times it took me a while to realize I was just getting used and ended up getting really hurt.

It really isn't about sex for me anymore. I just want a wholesome relationship with a woman who honestly loves me, and I was unable to find that in Asia. A lot of you guys only seem to be in it for the P4P and that's cool but what should I do at this point in my life? I feel like I'm having my midlife crisis a few years early.


Did the women you were "dating" have jobs or were they poor ladies waiting for a foreigner to save them?

It always amazes me that guys with money go to SE Asia and chase girls with no fruit on the tree. A lady should at least have a job or should be pursuing an education before she can be considered worthy to date. Ambition is something that you can't teach someone to have. If the girl is not actively pursuing something in life, I don't think she will be a good mate for a foreigner.
Men chase, women choose

As long as you have gold in your hand, you will ALWAYS have bread on your table.
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Postby Array9 » June 23rd, 2014, 2:14 pm

Halwick wrote:
Bstyle wrote:
newlifeinphilippines wrote:I hate to say it but i sort of agree with you. I may start looking for an american wife LOL


I think soemoen needs to create a forum called happier back in america again. :P

I think there needs to be more realistic information about what a white guy or any foreigner can expect in Asia. You will not find true love nor will you be the object of lust. In countries like the Philippines you can get mooching gold-diggers or do lots of P4P fairly cheap. The latter is a much better idea and will end up being cheaper. Expecting anything more than that will end in tears.


I think the problem most western/white guys have with Asian women is not understanding their culture and trying to woo and romance them as they would a western woman. The western romantic idea of "putting a woman on a pedestal and worshipping the ground she walks", sending notes of "affection", expressing your "love to her while on your knees" just isn't going to resonate positively to a Asian woman. In fact, they'll think any man who does this is a fool. (Although Filipinas, who are hopeless romanticists at heart, will probably love this.)

Also, the Asian definition of "love" isn't the same as the Western definition; their definition rests on the ability to fulfill duties and obligations to each other. They are very serious, have a more practical perspective, and a view a prospective husband on his status in life and ability to financially support her and her family. In return, she will fulfill her obligation of taking care of you, deferring to you and presenting an image or "face" as a good supportive wife.

An old expat with many years of service in the Orients told me: Expect the rules to be different; Believe half of what you see and nothing of what you hear; Don't surrender your power; stay in control, set your limits. Se with your eyes and brain (not your dick). If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. Asian women do not respect a wimp, so don't allow it to happen. Learn the language, but don't let them know you understand their conversations; you'll learn a lot.

+1
I totally agree with this
Men chase, women choose

As long as you have gold in your hand, you will ALWAYS have bread on your table.
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Postby ntm1972 » June 23rd, 2014, 3:01 pm

Tezcatlipoca wrote:Ntm1972 thanks for posting that link about country analysis it was fascinating and I can see how the culture I grew up in shaped my personality and put me in conflict with American/western values! Perhaps this is true for others in America as well who grew up in a particular subculture


You're welcome, Tez. A self-analysis of Geert-Hofstede helped me understand better why short-term flings worked for me in LA and SE Asia than pursuit of an LTR. I'm not inclined towards the latter in any event, but if I were and it came down to cultural compatibility, I'd probably have a better chance with a European or an Aussie/Kiwi.
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Postby newlifeinphilippines » June 23rd, 2014, 4:18 pm

Easier said then done array9. Most of the educated women with jobs who show interest in foreigners are *GASP* gold diggers anyways. They are often more demanding and less humble too. which is why some us wind up with low hanging fruit. If the middle class was throwing themselves at us it would be a different story, but they aren't.
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Postby SilverEnergy » June 23rd, 2014, 4:41 pm

If you can't make it in Asia, I really don't know what to say and am speechless.

Asia is one of the easiest places to find a quality woman.

Quien sabe.
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Postby Array9 » June 24th, 2014, 1:07 pm

newlifeinphilippines wrote:Easier said then done array9. Most of the educated women with jobs who show interest in foreigners are *GASP* gold diggers anyways. They are often more demanding and less humble too. which is why some us wind up with low hanging fruit. If the middle class was throwing themselves at us it would be a different story, but they aren't.


I don't see any evidence to back up your claims NewLife. Also, what is your definition of middle class? When I first started chatting with foreign women, I overlooked their economic situation. I would even talk to a girl with no job and believed that she didn't have any options. Now that I have more experience with Asian women, I will only date females who have something to offer. Yes, she has to bring something to the table as well.

As many guys have stated before on this forum, if you can't find a good woman in Asia, then something is wrong....
Men chase, women choose

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Postby SilverEnergy » June 24th, 2014, 3:00 pm

There's a game being played in this thread and I smell B.S.
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