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Having children

Discuss and talk about any general topic.

Moderators: fschmidt, jamesbond

Do you have or want any children?

I have child(ren)
5
23%
I have no children but would love to have them
8
36%
I have no children and don't really care either way
9
41%
 
Total votes: 22

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MarcosZeitola
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Having children

Post by MarcosZeitola » June 22nd, 2014, 6:01 pm

I am married and a father, a very family oriented person. Other men, less so. It very much depends on the issue. At a family gathering today I was told of a 73 year old Western man who lives in my grandparents' town, who married a twenty-something Filipina and just had their second child... he went from unhappy at home to happy-at-home by going abroad first.

My dream has always been to settle down with a good woman and raise a large family. It's my pleasure that I am now in the position to do so, having found the right woman. I know of myself, fschmidt, OutWest, Winston and a few others here who had children with non-Western women. I got a bit curious... how many of you guys have children, how many of you want them? Or the opposite?

ntm1972
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Post by ntm1972 » June 22nd, 2014, 7:27 pm

Your list is incomplete.

I have no children, and do not see myself wanting any. Children, at best, are a pleasant distraction in the short term; however, I've no desire to leave a genetic legacy. So, per your third option, it is not that I do not care one way or the other.

Moretorque
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Post by Moretorque » June 22nd, 2014, 9:58 pm

I was not aware Winston had children.
Time to Hide!

Tezcatlipoca
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Post by Tezcatlipoca » June 22nd, 2014, 10:35 pm

I have no children, but I would like to have them
Stop being angry at the stuff you don't have (yet) in life and instead focus on how to get it.

drealm
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Posts: 936
Joined: November 10th, 2010, 6:23 pm

Post by drealm » June 22nd, 2014, 11:26 pm

I have no children but would like to have a family some day. Of course I can't do this without finding a wife. If I could afford a large family I would try having children well outside the standard replacement level rate. I would aim to have four or six children, but more realistically I think I'll have to settle for two.

Hero
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Post by Hero » June 22nd, 2014, 11:54 pm

No kids, don't want any

Bstyle
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Joined: June 22nd, 2014, 5:22 pm

Post by Bstyle » June 23rd, 2014, 1:17 am

I've never been in a relationship long enough to seriously consider actually having kids as my longest relationship was just over 1 year and that was when I was in uni. I've also never made enough money to ensure any children I might have a secure future. I really don't even want kids now but a part of me thinks if I pass up a chance to if I'm ever ready and have the chance, I'll end up regretting it when I'm 60.

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starchild5
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Post by starchild5 » June 23rd, 2014, 4:37 am

Congrats..You are an Inspiration...

Maverick
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Post by Maverick » June 23rd, 2014, 5:29 am

No children, but want them (more than a wife actually).

I haven't gone abroad yet for women (will make my first trip in 2 weeks), but if I find foreign women to be as bad as some guys say on here, then I may just do the surrogacy thing and be a single dad of one child.

Of course, this is years down the road. I wouldn't even consider doing that unless I was pushing 40 with absolutely no female prospects (I'm 27 now).

Halwick
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Re: Having children

Post by Halwick » June 23rd, 2014, 7:02 am

MarcosZeitola wrote:I am married and a father, a very family oriented person. Other men, less so. It very much depends on the issue. At a family gathering today I was told of a 73 year old Western man who lives in my grandparents' town, who married a twenty-something Filipina and just had their second child... he went from unhappy at home to happy-at-home by going abroad first.

My dream has always been to settle down with a good woman and raise a large family. It's my pleasure that I am now in the position to do so, having found the right woman. I know of myself, fschmidt, OutWest, Winston and a few others here who had children with non-Western women. I got a bit curious... how many of you guys have children, how many of you want them? Or the opposite?
I don't have any children and am glad I never had any. I've seen many of my friends bankrupted through overindulging their children and being overly extravagant raising them (they wanted their children to have things they never had.) I know many aging retired parents children (now adults themselves) living with them (aka boomerang kids) and draining their retirement assets.

I know an American who is 76 years old, married to a Filipina 30 years his junior and have been married for 25 years. He also has three children age 18, 21 and 25. Not only is he supporting his wife's family in the Philippines, but also paying for his children's college education. He admits to once having a lot of money when first married, but is now cash poor and assets completely drained and living in a heavily mortgaged house to pay for the kids' education. Don't think he's truly happy.

Good luck. Hope you raise them properly and set realistic bounderies; don't handicap your children's lives by making it too easy for them. Make them earn their allowance and when they want a car or go to college, make them pay for it; you're only obligated to support them until they reach age 18. After that, they are ADULTS and should be supporting themselves thereafter and earning a living.

OutWest
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Re: Having children

Post by OutWest » June 23rd, 2014, 7:15 am

MarcosZeitola wrote:I am married and a father, a very family oriented person. Other men, less so. It very much depends on the issue. At a family gathering today I was told of a 73 year old Western man who lives in my grandparents' town, who married a twenty-something Filipina and just had their second child... he went from unhappy at home to happy-at-home by going abroad first.

My dream has always been to settle down with a good woman and raise a large family. It's my pleasure that I am now in the position to do so, having found the right woman. I know of myself, fschmidt, OutWest, Winston and a few others here who had children with non-Western women. I got a bit curious... how many of you guys have children, how many of you want them? Or the opposite?
I have two children and one on the way for number 3. I am quite glad about all of that really...the best thing I ever did. Obviously, not for everyone. For well reasoned causes, some do not
want kids..others would simply be horrible fathers.

Contrarian Expatriate
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Post by Contrarian Expatriate » June 23rd, 2014, 7:15 am

Raising children is overrated. Most do it because that is the chief "accomplishment" they can point to in their lives. However, most parents inappropriately see their children as extensions of themselves instead of individuals.

Raising children is expensive, time-consuming, exhausting, and burdensome. Children need supervision, medical treatment, nurturing, guidance, discipline, and a host of other things. Most people who have children do not have the foresight to see the task at hand. They just see cuddly infants and they hear the family and peer pressure to have kids and they fall in line.

Do not have kids unless you feel a virtual vocation to become a parent, whatever the expense or burden.

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MarcosZeitola
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Post by MarcosZeitola » June 24th, 2014, 10:08 am

ntm1972 wrote:Your list is incomplete.

I have no children, and do not see myself wanting any. Children, at best, are a pleasant distraction in the short term; however, I've no desire to leave a genetic legacy. So, per your third option, it is not that I do not care one way or the other.
Noted. I don't think I can change it anymore, the poll that is. But yes I missed that one!
Moretorque wrote:I was not aware Winston had children.
He has a seven year old son, Angelo, with a Filipina lady.

Manson Maan
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Post by Manson Maan » June 26th, 2014, 7:45 am

There's enough kids in the world that need a good family, id say adopt till they are taken care of first.

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MarcosZeitola
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Post by MarcosZeitola » June 26th, 2014, 10:52 am

Manson Maan wrote:There's enough kids in the world that need a good family, id say adopt till they are taken care of first.
So you'd take care of another man's offspring rather then have your own? How... unusually altruistic of you. Well, whatever floats your boat I suppose. It's definitely a great act of kindness.

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