Happier Abroad Forum Community

hey everyone.

this is my first post.

i am a 30 year old asian american. i don't want to get married or have kids. i know that i could go to a country like poland and do well with the women there, but i'm thinking long term. i would assume that in a very catholic country like poland, it would be hard for me to find a long term partner, as the catholic church's presence is strong there and people would be more socially programmed to get married and have kids. i've never been to poland, so correct me if i'm wrong. i want to make a permanent move to a country where i could live the lifestyle that i want, meaning where i could easily get a nice girl for a long term relationship and not marry or have kids with her. so here are some questions that i have.

1. what are some countries in europe and latin america that you think women would be more likely to be with me (an asian guy) and not get married or have kids?

2. since marriage is a legal and religious institution, do you think that i would have a better chance in a country with a lot of atheists, such as france or the czech republic?

3. do you think that there would be less pressure for women to get married and have kids in a country where women have equal or more power than men? (i'm probably going to start a separate thread about this third point.) because if women have less power than men, they need to get married and supported by a man due to less financial opportunity. maybe instead of going to a country where men have more power over women, i should try to go to a country where men and women have equal power. what do you think? what are some countries where men have more power than women? what are some countries where men and women have equal power?

thanks

Hey guys. This poster needs help within the bounds of this post.

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doo what most guys do find a vacation girlfriend in philippines

I'm the same in that I don't want marriage or kids, and to be honest it's always going to be difficult to find women who don't want it. Most women all over the world want kids, as a biological urge, and most probably want to get married someday as well.

I have a Romanian girlfriend and she wants to get married, which puts pressure on the relationship because I told her I don't want to.

As someone else said stick to the anglo countries but as an Asian man you maybe rank low for anglo women rader dish. Most women do want marriage and kids if they are from a traditional society.

Or just have allot of long term relationship and break it up any time marriage or kids comes into the conversation..it will get harder as you get older to meet someone..hence forth why allot of older expats seems to go to Philippines where it's easier for older men. But in other countries not so.

chanta76 wrote:As someone else said stick to the anglo countries but as an Asian man you maybe rank low for anglo women rader dish. Most women do want marriage and kids if they are from a traditional society.

Or just have allot of long term relationship and break it up any time marriage or kids comes into the conversation..it will get harder as you get older to meet someone..hence forth why allot of older expats seems to go to Philippines where it's easier for older men. But in other countries not so.

I don't think that's true. I think it's because a lot of these older men cannot speak another language and want to take the "red carpet, White non-insubordinate position over non White" disposition.

chanta76 wrote:As someone else said stick to the anglo countries but as an Asian man you maybe rank low for anglo women rader dish. Most women do want marriage and kids if they are from a traditional society.

Or just have allot of long term relationship and break it up any time marriage or kids comes into the conversation..it will get harder as you get older to meet someone..hence forth why allot of older expats seems to go to Philippines where it's easier for older men. But in other countries not so.

In non-Anglo and non-Mediterranean Western Europe i.e. Germany, France, the Scandinavian countries, Asian men don't have the same stigma attached to them as they do in the States. The same with parts of Eastern Europe, I think...

So, how about countries in Eastern Europe? Or, what about Germany, Holland, or Finland/Norway? I would choose those countries and ignore the U.K., Italy, Spain, and Ireland--as Asian men are stigmatized in those countries.

International Love wrote:3. do you think that there would be less pressure for women to get married and have kids in a country where women have equal or more power than men? (i'm probably going to start a separate thread about this third point.) because if women have less power than men, they need to get married and supported by a man due to less financial opportunity. maybe instead of going to a country where men have more power over women, i should try to go to a country where men and women have equal power. what do you think? what are some countries where men have more power than women? what are some countries where men and women have equal power?

I think you are on to something. I would also imagine that if a woman is willing to live with you long term without marriage or kids, she is likely to be from a country where if you got divorced, she could take you to the cleaners. I would imagine if she is also likely to be from a country where women feel free to treat men with disrespect and don't care much for men leading them (at least when they think about it on an intellectual level. Even radical feminazis can have a deep seated urge for a man to take charge and find it attractive on an emotional level.)

Why do you want a long-term relationship (if that is what you are saying) without getting married? Why not marry a sterile woman? There is probably some woman out there who had a cyst removed and her tubes tied who would want to get married. Wouldn't it be worth it if you could marry a woman a bit more comfortable with a male-dominated society who believes in showing men respect? If you got a sterile woman like that, wouldn't you be better off getting married than marrying a mouthy feminist woman who was willing to live with you and not marry?

If she's willing to sleep with you without getting married, she was probably willing to sleep with a bunch of other guys who may have had diseases before you.

Why do you want a long-term relationship (if that is what you are saying) without getting married? Why not marry a sterile woman? There is probably some woman out there who had a cyst removed and her tubes tied who would want to get married. Wouldn't it be worth it if you could marry a woman a bit more comfortable with a male-dominated society who believes in showing men respect? If you got a sterile woman like that, wouldn't you be better off getting married than marrying a mouthy feminist woman who was willing to live with you and not marry?

If she's willing to sleep with you without getting married, she was probably willing to sleep with a bunch of other guys who may have had diseases before you.

i want the feeling of connection. i don't want to get married, because marriage is a religious and legal institution. i don't respect the church or the state. i don't want or need their permission to recognize my union with a woman. additionally, i am vehemently against tradition, which is the idea of blindly following what others have done in the past due to social conditioning. Lastly, the idea of "until death do us part" is stupid. i think it should be "until unhappiness do us part."

i want a woman to be my equal. it does not appeal to me to have a woman who feels submissive to me. i want to be with a girl who is my good friend (an equal).

i think it would be very difficult and not realistic to try to screen girls to see if they are sterile.

i'm going to focus on european countries with over 24% atheists. this seems like the best strategy to me.

see here for atheism demographics

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_atheism

In non-Anglo and non-Mediterranean Western Europe i.e. Germany, France, the Scandinavian countries, Asian men don't have the same stigma attached to them as they do in the States. The same with parts of Eastern Europe, I think...

So, how about countries in Eastern Europe? Or, what about Germany, Holland, or Finland/Norway? I would choose those countries and ignore the U.K., Italy, Spain, and Ireland--as Asian men are stigmatized in those countries.

zboy1 - i agree with your post. i'm going to have to focus on western and central europe, though, as eastern europe is very religious (therefore, they'll value marriage more).

i had no idea that spain and italy were racist towards asians.

International Love wrote: i want the feeling of connection. i don't want to get married, because marriage is a religious and legal institution. i don't respect the church or the state. i don't want or need their permission to recognize my union with a woman. additionally, i am vehemently against tradition, which is the idea of blindly following what others have done in the past due to social conditioning. Lastly, the idea of "until death do us part" is stupid. i think it should be "until unhappiness do us part."

With that philosophy, you shouldn't snatch up any marriage and family minded girls to be fair to them. With the type of woman you are looking for, she can get unhappy as well, and leave you broken-hearted, but that's what you want. The marriage-minded woman believes she must stay with you, and tradition is a good thing in that regard.

i want a woman to be my equal. it does not appeal to me to have a woman who feels submissive to me. i want to be with a girl who is my good friend (an equal).

An ethic of submission and respect toward the husband is what keeps a woman from trying to control you and boss you around. It also restrains that mouth of hers which can be used to scold, put down, insult, etc.

i think it would be very difficult and not realistic to try to screen girls to see if they are sterile.

It's a weird thing to put in a dating profile, but if you did put in there that you are open to dating women who have had medical procedures or medical issues that prevent them from having children or women who don't want children, you may get some takers because of that on some websites. In some parts of Asia, such women may consider themselves in low demand.

i'm going to focus on european countries with over 24% atheists. this seems like the best strategy to me.
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The US may be the type of country who would have the type of women you are interested in, too. I'm not sure where you are, but it sounds like you may not have to go abroad to find it.

Isn't there stats that show marrying a virgin doesn't mean she won't cheat or divorce you later on? ive heard stories in asia of marrying a virgin and she cheats anyways.

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newlifeinphilippines wrote:Isn't there stats that show marrying a virgin doesn't mean she won't cheat or divorce you later on? ive heard stories in asia of marrying a virgin and she cheats anyways.

Here you go.

Sexual Partner Divorce Risk
http://socialpathology.blogspot.ca/2010 ... -risk.html

Promiscuity Data
http://socialpathology.blogspot.ca/2012 ... -post.html