Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Thurs nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts with FREE Prizes!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE Live AFA Seminar! See locations and details.


Scam free! Check out Christian Filipina - Meet Asian women with Christian values! Members screened.
Exclusive book offer! 75% off! How to Meet, Date and Marry Your Filipina Wife



View Active Topics       Latest 100 Topics       View Your Posts       FAQ Topics       Switch to Mobile


Being Accepted In A New Country

Discuss and talk about any general topic.

Moderators: jamesbond, fschmidt

Postby Ghost » Fri Sep 26, 2014 5:51 pm

Finding the perfect formula isn't easy, but combine these things:

Good manners, politeness, and behavior
Language abilities
A sincere interest in the culture/country (aka not a tourist or a monger)
Employment/Income
Actively searching for friends

I think it could work out for virtually anyone. You could also think of it as a percentage of acceptance that you want. Perhaps 100% acceptance isn't possible; if so, aim for 80% or 70% or whatever.
Ghost
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 5749
Joined: Sun Apr 17, 2011 1:23 am







Re: MAYBE ONE OF THE MOST HELPFUL HINTS EVER

Postby gsjackson » Fri Sep 26, 2014 6:43 pm

Jester wrote:Truth is so f***ing obvious when you hear it.

Shit.

Yes.

I have told my rugby-playing (MOST rugby-playing) son, to look for countries where they play that sport.

Yes.

SHIT.
I wish my (several) injured joints permitted me to play that sport. I would do that in a freakin minute. I loved the social aspect of rugby.

(You guys who used to play at Princeton around 1975 to 1977, here's a shout-out to you. Loved my time on the field, and drinking in the Tower afterward. Thanks for teaching me the sport, it was an honor and a pleasure playing with you.)

What sport do you play Professor Jackson? Was it handball, or squash? I forget.

Haha I wonder what sports I can still do. Is there group ocean swimming anywhere?

Used to dance real well, when I had a gf who was into it. Even with (then even worse) jacked-up joints... and painkillers all night after a multi-hour Armo "barahantes" (shindig). We did ballroom, Latin, and of course plenty of Armo freestyle.

There is a movie about a hitman who has a gig in Argentina. While he is there, he indulges in his passion, tango. Makes a friend.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0283897/

I suppose there are other pastimes with which to bond besides sport and dance.

Museums, art.... I don't know.


I play handball when my body lets me. I definitely hear you on the joint pain thing. The sport is an orthopedic disaster zone. I had to quit for three years before getting my hip resurfaced. No sooner is that done than knee arthritis kicks in. When I can control the knee pain, the calf on that leg is likely to pull.

This is all a great shame, because my social life has been built around the sport for decades. I would do it again. There's an interesting dynamic at work in a sport that is a strenuous meritocracy with enormous differences in ability among players. Everyone accepts the meritocracy and their place in it, and that seems to have a purifying effect leading to enhanced sociability and trustworthiness. Everybody gets the competitive crap out on the court, whether they win or lose, and leaves it there. Shakespeare/Oxford wrote some lines to this effect in Troilus and Cressida: "Take away but degree, untune that string, and all are met in mere oppugnancy." In other words, when people accept their status in a mutually agreed upon hierarchy there is a peace that prevails in social relations. Take away the status -- the place in the great chain of being -- and make everyone think he is in competition with everyone else with status completely up for grabs, as modern American culture does, and you get all sorts of hidden agendas, back-stabbing, etc.

So for this reason, I think a sport would be the best kind of subculture for integrating into and feeling welcome in a different country. But that's certainly not the only option. On the tango thing, a handball buddy took up ballroom dancing years ago as a way to meet women. He took a lot of crap for it because he was kind of a macho guy who had played football for Stanford, then flown Navy jets off and on aircraft carriers. But he really got into it, to the point that he went to Buenos Aires to work on his tango game. Ended up marrying a local tango queen and staying down there, to his great satisfaction, from what I've been told.
Last edited by gsjackson on Fri Sep 26, 2014 7:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
gsjackson
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1469
Joined: Sat Jun 12, 2010 2:08 pm
Location: New Orleans, LA USA

Postby gsjackson » Fri Sep 26, 2014 6:58 pm

Jester wrote:
ladislav wrote:
Yes, but it's a fait accompli and a person sees his world in those terms. He did not create it himself and now he wants to escape it. The privileged "whites" are not on this site.



+1
And thank you.


ladislav wrote:A white American southerner will be treated very well in Croatia ( superior friendly tribe) but not well in Serbia ( superior but enemy tribe).


This is what I was looking for.

+10


The take I got on this from a couple of Serbs is that Croats are horrible suck-ups to westerners in order to shake them loose of some money. There is little love lost between the Serbs and Croats, even more so than between Serbs and Bosniaks.

I felt I was treated pretty well in both countries, though the Serbs are definitely not what you would call subservient pleasers (think Thailand). There is clearly a political edge and an us-against-the-world mentality in Serbia that you find in few other countries. But they are naturally gregarious. If you can muster up a bit of anti-Americanism, particularly with respect to the NATO bombing of Belgrade in 1999, I think you will be pleasantly surprised at how well this can be leveraged with attractive young Serbian women.

And of course, to the extent what ladislav is saying is true, it surely is rooted in the '90s wars. Those wars are a very complicated subject, with multiple perspectives and plenty of fairly fresh wounds. You would do well to bone up on it from all perspectives before going to the Balkans.
gsjackson
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1469
Joined: Sat Jun 12, 2010 2:08 pm
Location: New Orleans, LA USA

Postby rootlesscosmopolitan » Fri Sep 26, 2014 7:11 pm

ladislav wrote:
zboy1 wrote:
ladislav wrote:Acceptance is a relative term. I would say white Americans will be most welcome in the countries where people look like them and talk like them first- meaning other Anglo countries.

Next, they will be most welcome in countries which have long standing positive relationship with the US and in which the US culture is very popular- such as the Philippines.


Whites created the whole effed-up racial system so prevalent in the world today, but now Whites want to escape from it, LOL! Ironic indeed.


Yes, but it's a fait accompli and a person sees his world in those terms. He did not create it himself and now he wants to escape it. The privileged "whites" are not on this site.

The "whites" only became "whites" when the New World colonization started. In Europe, they generally just think of themselves by ethnicity or nationality.

Still, most people are comfortable with either those who look like them and talk like them or with those who look and talk as if they came from a superior tribe ( that is not an enemy tribe). That's universal. Human nature.

Thus, black people from the US are treated very well in Ethiopia but Ethiopians don't get treated well in the US. A Kuwaiti man can go to Saudi Arabia and be treated very well but an Egyptian man will not be. A white American southerner will be treated very well in Croatia ( superior friendly tribe) but not well in Serbia ( superior but enemy tribe). A Croatian with an accent won't be treated well by rednecks ( inferior tribe) but a Brit with a queen's accent will be treated well.

White/ black is just one way of slicing the pie and mainly refers to the Americas.


I agree with this. The racial caste system in america seems unfair to non-white minorities, but really its just a natural expression of the innate tribalism of human beings. For the time being, America is a majority white country, with white institutions and a white culture, so of course it makes sense that white americans are going to be top dog in america. I don't understand why minorities think they will be treated completely equally in this country. Just because minorities SHOULD be treated equally and fairly doesnt mean that we WILL be treated equally and fairly. This is just the way things are, it doesnt help to point at white americans and demonize them when in all likelihood we asian americans would naturally perpetuate our own version of a "racial caste system" in asia.
rootlesscosmopolitan
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 56
Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2014 1:50 am

Re: MAYBE ONE OF THE MOST HELPFUL HINTS EVER

Postby Jester » Fri Sep 26, 2014 8:20 pm

gsjackson wrote:
So for this reason, I think a sport would be the best kind of subculture for integrating into and feeling welcome in a different country. But that's certainly not the only option. On the tango thing, a handball buddy took up ballroom dancing years ago as a way to meet women. He took a lot of crap for it because he was kind of a macho guy who had played football for Stanford, then flown Navy jets off and on aircraft carriers. But he really got into it, to the point that he went to Buenos Aires to work on his tango game. Ended up marrying a local tango queen and staying down there, to his great satisfaction, from what I've been told.


Thanks.
Jester
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 7866
Joined: Tue Jan 20, 2009 9:10 am
Location: Chiang Mai Thailand

Re: Being Accepted In A New Country

Postby MrMan » Sat Sep 27, 2014 1:36 am

If you go to a country that has an expatraite community in the city you live in, sometimes it is easier to make friends from your own country or other English speaking countries abroad than it is at home. Expats get detached from their extended family network and network of friends, so it can be easy to make new friends there, especially with singles. That has been my experience, though I made local friends as well.
MrMan
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1216
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2014 2:52 am

Postby KokujinKrusader » Sat Sep 27, 2014 1:48 am

rootlesscosmopolitan wrote:
ladislav wrote:
zboy1 wrote:
ladislav wrote:Acceptance is a relative term. I would say white Americans will be most welcome in the countries where people look like them and talk like them first- meaning other Anglo countries.

Next, they will be most welcome in countries which have long standing positive relationship with the US and in which the US culture is very popular- such as the Philippines.


Whites created the whole effed-up racial system so prevalent in the world today, but now Whites want to escape from it, LOL! Ironic indeed.


Yes, but it's a fait accompli and a person sees his world in those terms. He did not create it himself and now he wants to escape it. The privileged "whites" are not on this site.

The "whites" only became "whites" when the New World colonization started. In Europe, they generally just think of themselves by ethnicity or nationality.

Still, most people are comfortable with either those who look like them and talk like them or with those who look and talk as if they came from a superior tribe ( that is not an enemy tribe). That's universal. Human nature.

Thus, black people from the US are treated very well in Ethiopia but Ethiopians don't get treated well in the US. A Kuwaiti man can go to Saudi Arabia and be treated very well but an Egyptian man will not be. A white American southerner will be treated very well in Croatia ( superior friendly tribe) but not well in Serbia ( superior but enemy tribe). A Croatian with an accent won't be treated well by rednecks ( inferior tribe) but a Brit with a queen's accent will be treated well.

White/ black is just one way of slicing the pie and mainly refers to the Americas.


I agree with this. The racial caste system in america seems unfair to non-white minorities, but really its just a natural expression of the innate tribalism of human beings. For the time being, America is a majority white country, with white institutions and a white culture, so of course it makes sense that white americans are going to be top dog in america. I don't understand why minorities think they will be treated completely equally in this country. Just because minorities SHOULD be treated equally and fairly doesnt mean that we WILL be treated equally and fairly. This is just the way things are, it doesnt help to point at white americans and demonize them when in all likelihood we asian americans would naturally perpetuate our own version of a "racial caste system" in asia.


That is true, but Whites are often deified in non-White countries too. This might have to do with the "superior friendly tribe" theory that ladislav was talking about, as promoted by military and media throughout history.
Grand Admiral Game taught me how to improve my mindset in order to achieve the success that I wanted in life!
KokujinKrusader
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 155
Joined: Mon Jun 09, 2014 12:53 am
Location: East Asia and California

Postby E Irizarry R&B Singer » Sat Sep 27, 2014 1:53 am

zboy1 wrote:
ladislav wrote:Acceptance is a relative term. I would say white Americans will be most welcome in the countries where people look like them and talk like them first- meaning other Anglo countries.

Next, they will be most welcome in countries which have long standing positive relationship with the US and in which the US culture is very popular- such as the Philippines.


Whites created the whole effed-up racial system so prevalent in the world today, but now Whites want to escape from it, LOL! Ironic indeed.

Epic fcuking post. An American guy of S. Korean ancestry that understands!! Now if a Black dude were to say this, it wouldn't be as impressive but still a good thing to know.
It's time to expatriate to evade your fate; it's time to expatriate before the barn door permanently closes on "US" sheep.
Debut mixtape "The Skilled Neophyte of RNB (x64)" dropping Spring 2016 - Follow me on Twitter @eirizarryRNB
E Irizarry R&B Singer
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2036
Joined: Fri Apr 19, 2013 12:26 am
Location: The fuckin' U.S. of Gay *ugh*

Postby Ghost » Sat Sep 27, 2014 7:52 am

E Irizarry R&B Singer wrote:
zboy1 wrote:
ladislav wrote:Acceptance is a relative term. I would say white Americans will be most welcome in the countries where people look like them and talk like them first- meaning other Anglo countries.

Next, they will be most welcome in countries which have long standing positive relationship with the US and in which the US culture is very popular- such as the Philippines.


Whites created the whole effed-up racial system so prevalent in the world today, but now Whites want to escape from it, LOL! Ironic indeed.

Epic fcuking post. An American guy of S. Korean ancestry that understands!! Now if a Black dude were to say this, it wouldn't be as impressive but still a good thing to know.


I have no doubt Zboy would criticize someone if they made a similar post, except replaced whites with Asians or blacks. Not saying he doesn't have a point, but there is so much one-sidedness to racial comments here. Anyway, white culture (er...European culture?) has f***ed up a lot of things, but what's the point of trying to tie someone here, like Jester, into it? Obviously he and other whites on here don't believe in what evils white culture (or whatever you want to call it) has wrought.
Ghost
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 5749
Joined: Sun Apr 17, 2011 1:23 am

Re: Being Accepted In A New Country

Postby Yohan » Sat Sep 27, 2014 12:50 pm

MrMan wrote:If you go to a country that has an expatraite community in the city you live in, sometimes it is easier to make friends from your own country or other English speaking countries abroad than it is at home. Expats get detached from their extended family network and network of friends, so it can be easy to make new friends there, especially with singles. That has been my experience, though I made local friends as well.


This is a good and true argument, I can confirm this here in Tokyo, and in my holiday place Pattaya and in Cebu where my Filipina fosterdaughter is living. It is nice, if you know some reasonable longstay foreigners from your own country next to you and you can exchange your experiences with them.

The only problem is if you have some 'outsider-countrymen' next to you, broken people without money, who expect you to help them and they will not even say 'thank you'.

Unfortunately, cheap Asian countries like Thailand, Cambodia, Philippines are a favorite destination of such 'tourists' and I feel very uncomfortable and ashamed if they cross my way while on vacation.
User avatar
Yohan
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2212
Joined: Thu Apr 03, 2014 5:05 am
Location: Tokyo, JAPAN

Postby KokujinKrusader » Sat Sep 27, 2014 3:50 pm

Ghost wrote:I have no doubt Zboy would criticize someone if they made a similar post, except replaced whites with Asians or blacks. Not saying he doesn't have a point, but there is so much one-sidedness to racial comments here. Anyway, white culture (er...European culture?) has f***ed up a lot of things, but what's the point of trying to tie someone here, like Jester, into it? Obviously he and other whites on here don't believe in what evils white culture (or whatever you want to call it) has wrought.


Everyone is a hypocrite when it benefits them. This is yet another redpill truth. I've seen it all of the time coming from white folks on message boards and in society, now Asian folks and Black folks etc. are firing back. The only thing that one can do is power through. Thank your gods that you have a greater "share" of power.
Grand Admiral Game taught me how to improve my mindset in order to achieve the success that I wanted in life!
KokujinKrusader
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 155
Joined: Mon Jun 09, 2014 12:53 am
Location: East Asia and California

Previous

Return to General Discussions

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Yahoo [Bot] and 3 guests