Discuss and talk about any general topic.
Sure waited a long time to reveal such a thing, Tsar. I don't want to hear it. I'm done with it. Every time I kill one of your excuses, another pops up. It's like playing whack-a-mole with a hydra. Now all of a sudden it's your parents threatening to kick you out if you move out and fail. Either you have the cruelest parents that ever existed or it's just another excuse. Either way, I can't affect it. I'm finished talking about it. It's your life to make good with or to waste. Good luck, Tsar.
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I do appreciate the suggestions you've given. If I shared my story you're correct that it wouldn't change anything. I guess it was pointless of me to offer to share. I would also like to stop talking about my ideal girl or finding any girl. Right now I'd just prefer to be on my own and alone until I'm ready to find myself a girl. Either I'll be successful in life or fail but it will be my choices that determine the outcome.
Good Lord....Talking to Tsar is like talking to a brick wall....It gets you nowhere...
Believe me, i truly think he likes it at home rather than abroad....What foreign virgin woman (eastern european) is going to put up with someone who doesn't know the language, doesn't know the culture, doesn't know how to communicate with women, doesn't even know how to communicate with other men?? I don't know any foreign virgin that will feel comfortable around a stuttering buffoon who brings absolutely nothing to the table.....
Your gonna look like a f***ing sex tourist....
The only thing he brings to the table is that he wants a virgin...thats it! And in the grand scheme of things who the f**k cares!!!
Tsar...Answer this please....I ALREADY KNOW WHAT QUALITIES YOU WANT A WOMAN TO BRING TO THE TABLE? WHAT QUALITIES DO YOU, TSAR BRING TO THE TABLE?
And please dont say " MA DIIICK! or "MA PAAASSPORT BYOTCH!"
Watch how he avoids this question like a scolded dog???
PS....Do not PM me at all Tsar with your crying and shit...Im too grown for that nonsense...
Actually, Tsar is working on several things right now and from what I can tell during our conversations in PM, he's definitely making progress. He's not just sitting on his ass, but his progress is slow, bit by bit. Baby steps. His world view you may disagree with, his dreams and ideals you may find unrealistic or hard to obtain, but he's working towards them. As for him saying he won't be able to love or something of the like, that's nonsense: he's never been in a relationship, after all. People who have never dated talking about love is like getting dating advice from the pope.
Live and let live, stay respectful and don't bicker and result to petty insults like a bunch of school girls. Tsar wants hot jailbait, who doesn't? The same way everyone wants to win the lottery. You have as much a chance at winning the lottery as you do at having a fifteen year old blue-eyed, blonde Russian cutie with a bubble butt and the voice of an angel come up with you and tell you she loves you and wants to get married. And also happens to be a virgin. That's why Tsar is being "inactive", it's because he probably realizes what he wants may take him decades to achieve. What he fails to realize, however, is that the older he becomes the smaller his chances of success will be. Now, in his early twenties, he still might have some appeal to younger girls as a "hopeless romantic born in a wrong era", but in his thirties this would make him "creepy", even abroad.
I know what it likes to have a lousy family situation like that Tsar. I've told you. But things got so bad for me over the last year I basically went nuts. I realized I couldn't put up with it anymore, so I left for China. Best decision I ever made. Going abroad wouldn't necessarily or even very likely result in failure. If you return to America you can talk about the experience and sound worldly. When going on a job interview it makes you sound more interesting than if you stay at home. If I didn't go to China I never would have gotten a job at Disney World. I'd have had nothing to talk about in the interview.
I think as a young person I've taken a liking to this guy and his philosophy:
There's something admirable and masculine about living on the edge of uncertainty like that. It's a real test of mettle too. Girls see that kind of inner strength. I'm not a very sociable guy and because I'm not in a position to date I haven't been with anyone for about five years. But I think girls see the strength I project and I do get them looking at me or even approaching me time to time. Used to happen in middle school when I'd show off my intelligence in class. Now it's all about how I carry myself, eye contact, body language, etc.
So there's more to a man than his bank account. A man's belief in himself and his ability to succeed is what matters. His own potential and willingness to act on that potential. Obtaining money is just a possible side effect. That's what good women look for anyway.
It's good you're focusing on yourself Tsar. So much of dating advice is about how to chase girls. But it's much better to focus on becoming the best version of yourself possible. Then girls chase after you instead. A good number of them won't be what you're looking for and that can get really bothersome. But it's better than having no chances at all.
My only real plan is:
1. Be ambitious
2. Be fearless
3. Keep an open mind to opportunities
So I'll just take risks to get what I want and to try things. I didn't know any Chinese at all when I went over, but I was confident enough that things would work out. While all of my classmates were shacked up in English-speaking dorms, I took the bus every day and travelled on my own with what little Chinese I knew. I even almost got scammed once, but I didn't, and now I have a cool story to tell. So I guess what I'm trying to say is to be fearless. Once you've seen hell, all those other petty concerns fade away. Hunger kills fear. And I sent you this link already, but I'll post it here:
That guy lived his life how I'm trying to now. He grew up poor as dirt, but when the president of the company offered an opportunity he took it. It didn't even bother him that he could hardly speak English. Didn't let it stop him. All of his coworkers though it was ridiculous and that they'd just be wasting their time. They never even bothered taking the chance. Now he's certainly richer than all of them.
There speaks a man who's seen the light! I hope Tsar will take this to heart. Positivity always gets a man further then negativity, action further then inaction, strength further then weakness. Broaden your horizons, expand your networks, gain new experiences and always be open and ready for the next adventure. That's how to live a life.
The story about the janitor inventing a new cheeto product is very inspirational and positive. I know there's a good chance I could be just like that guy. Things take time and I am taking small steps and in time larger steps. I do believe that people can have that type of success and that it's very possible to be like that guy. Things like that mostly happen in Western nations or relatively rich nations, which is why I want to try to focus on myself while I'm in America. It is easier to become wealthier in a high-income nation than it is to relocate abroad poor to a middle-income or low-income nation and become wealthier. At the moment my number one priority is to become wealthier. My life goal is the dream girl. So that is why I want to stay in America and postpone having any sort of relationship. No one can build a house without first putting up the foundation.
Marcos is correct that part of the reason why I'm inactive and don't go on a three week vacation to a place like Russia is because I realize I won't be able to get what I want in a girl. If I were open to marrying any attractive nice girl regardless of her past and a larger age range then I'd definitely go sooner, but I'm not like most people in that I don't require love for the sake of being loved or having someone to show off. When I was a teenager I would have accepted that but things change and people like myself awaken, and realize what is the point of being second? I'd rather be like a Nikola Tesla and focus on my life than settle. There's nothing wrong with being a Nikola Tesla and being single if you can't find what you want. It's like a a man doing the "MGTOW" thing and focusing on himself rather than trying to get a girl. When I'm ready to seek out love I will.
Sometimes they smell alright, the ones who bathe and stuff....Alot of times though they smell sweaty, and if you pick em up from a bar they would smell like smoke and whisky....
A lot of what you say makes sense, but I got to correct you here, though... See, Tesla never had the NEED to settle down, for love, for sex. He had many female admirers, many of whom I'm sure would have made perfectly acceptable wives. He was tall, handsome and successful, and could have had any woman he wanted, but by choice stayed alone and celibate. You are not a Tesla because you have no such success, and you are unhappy in your current situation. You seek self improvement not only to become a better and happier person, but also because you are working towards a clear goal: a beautiful virginal jailbait bride. And there's nothing wrong with that, man! Dare to dream, and dare to act on them.
Tesla was never ready to seek out love because he had no need for it... but you do. You are a romantic soul, and you will be miserable without someone to share your life with. So while you work towards this goal, make a time line for yourself. Write down who you want to be, where you want to be and with who, when you are thirty.
Lastly... look at the men who never achieved their dreams. There are men like you, who are in their early twenties and dream big dreams. What happens if they do not succeed? I have seen men on the internet who were in their late thirties, their forties, or even their fifties, who never had sex in their lives. Unemployed, lonely and miserable. No friends, no family, a cat or dog their only companion and spewing their depressive life story and bitterness over the internet. We've all seen these men on the internet. The loners. The losers of the game of life. Take a good look at yourself, and at them. Do you wish to be like them? Don't let your pride, or your extremely high expectations, drive away your chances of future happiness. Settling for a little less can be infinitely preferable over dying alone and miserable.
Set a time line. Ask yourself the tough questions. Re-evaluate your life. Continue to move forward. Don't look back. And stay optimistic even in today's crazy and often depressing world. You can make it in the game of life, if you figure out the right moves.
My belief is that the only way to make it in America, is to be able to compartmentalize one's life.
One thing is that the general public, including classmates, church-mates, etc, are more concerned about maintaining their standing in life than in your success and happiness. Thus, the so-called art of mingling doesn't necessarily mean being happy in America.
Personally, whenever I meet a 35-60 something, who's deemed a "failure in life", a lot of it stems from this lack of compartmentalization. In other words, they constantly look for validation among peers or some dream like version of life, which isn't palatable. Instead, a man can be a garbage collector, who has a regular exercise program, eats healthy, and perhaps pens a few short stories (regardless of whether or not they sell), and still be a happy and thus, a successful person. BTW, I know of such a person. Unfortunately, the only reason why we don't hang out is that his GF is jealous of Mel
16 years ago, the Best Picture of 1999, "American Beauty", telegraphed the message of Happier Abroad to the world.
Beware of long term engagements with AWs, you may find yourself in a coffin.
AB discussion thread
BTW, despite settling down with an AW, myself, the warning is still in effect.
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