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It saddens me, that on forums for people who're chronically shy, people are often blaming themselves for being inadequate, they generally believe that they're unatractive, that they've got nothing going for them, that they think that they deserve some of the foul treatment from western women.
On the note of becoming more confident with women, I would like to relate to some of my experiences of what's typically locally, and what's been typical of whom I've had dealings with from other nationalities, through things such as voluntering, couchsurfing socials (such a f***ing godsend!) and random entounters, as varied as Russian, Turkey, Lithuania, China, Japan, Romania, and even other western countries such as Spain. What I want to reflect on is the key differences I've noticed and how liberating they can be for a man's confidence.
I think many here would agree that the following toxic traits of anglo-american women;
[*]Acting as if men are creeps by default, unless proven otherwise
[*]Being excessively shallow
[*]Being noticeably more unfriendly than other demographics
[*]Being full of 'attitude' and behaving masculine and aggressive
[*]Being treated like you don't exist if you're not a tough, hard-knut
Are not very pleasant and also, it's hardly any surprise that you might see the fairer sex as a different species if that's all you've been used to in your experience. It's really no wonder why the USA and UK have so many 'pussified men' as often talked about. At the same time it's a real tradgedy too. Oh, add those toxic PUA ideas about women on top of that, that justify such behaviour, then it's really no surprise.
How come then, of most other nationalities that I've met, those things have been SIGNIFICANTLY less so, if not absent? What's more, how come, through meeting women who are not like that, my nervousness has been significantly reduced? How come it's been reduced to the point that I'm now able to interact with new ones almost as if they're my mates, which would have been unthinkable a few years ago?
At least, even if most the foreign one's are not attrated to you, they still treat you as a human f***ing being! They don't look at you as if you're a creep, they don't see you as if you're trying to hide something, or have some hidden agenda, or just as a potential THREAT just by trying to strike-up polite chit-chat! You don't have all that worry about how someone's going to read into you or 'Am I coming across as creepy?'. None of that rubbish to worry about, none of that f***ing bullshit at all to interfere with the flow of conversation. My primitive emotional brain has finallty learned that new hot women are NOT a threat, and stopped producing adrenaline whenever I meet a new attractive woman. My conditioning has only been REVERSED by meeting foreign women.
Of those guys who are severely nervous around women, who are feeling down about it, hopeless, who beleive that they're 'betas' or whatever because of it, I really feel this needs to be shared publicly.
I mentioned once on one forum about corresponding with a Russian girl I met in France on one of my volunteering gigs, and was immediately met with this 'male order bride' shit or, 'you go for foreign women because you can't handle a strong woman' nonsense. No you bloody morons! why are the young females locally so f***ing PARANOID of new men!? WHY is it, that on so many ocassions that I've tried to strike-up conversations with women locally, they give hostile vibes, get their phone out and start txting frantically, or else act completely indifferent? How come the nicest one's have all been foreign? Why do so many of the local women walk round with their noses in the air giving out 'don't look at me creep' vibes. Why is there a DEFAULT ASSUMPTION that a male's a rapist, creep, predator, UNLESS PROVEN OTHERWISE!? So f***ing dysfunctional!
It's so f***ing lovely, if you've been used to that shit, to meet women that see you as another fellow human being, that smile, that look at you with that flirty coy look, that your previous conditinoing had convinced you an impossibility both theoretically and in reality. It's so f***ing lovely when you meet women that are enthusiastic and PLEASED TO MEET YOU and they treat you with ENTHUSIASM, rather than the usual SUSPICION and CYNICISM.
Oh, I missed-out the online dating bit. Have you noticed, for those of you who live in England or the USA, that it's depressingly common for women to say things such as 'don't contact me if, blah, blah'; the whole DEFAULT negative assumptions towards men. It's so blatently obvious and SUCH A f***ing TURNOFF. You know what POF is like, you know the default assumptions that a lot of women have. What's perverse, is that a lot of people on thses social anxiety forums seem to think that there's something wrong with them if they don't get any reply!? Jesus f***ing Christ! They need waking the f**k up!
For those who have the cheek so say 'you need more confidence' yeah right! As if such an environment cultivates it! As if having dealt with such encounters for years of one's life brings out that side in a man; get real for heavens sake! Living in cloud-bloody-cuckoo land!
I really do feel sorry for all those guys out there who think that the problem is them, who think that their shyness is 'creepy' who think that they are unatractive, who think that any mistreatment of abuse is somehow deserved, and who are BLAMING THEMSELVES like there's no tomorrow. It really is a sad state of affairs.
These people need waking-up!
Wow...Very well explained....Totally agree.....
Don't waste your time. Doing such a thing can only be a sink. Most men like this are lost souls. You will either accomplish nothing with them or they will drag you down. I know, I used to try reaching out sometimes. It's hopeless. In truth, a lot of the sites out there for men are about surrender. Love Shy, MGTOW, incel. One way or another, the "solution" is to give up and not to take it back. Not even to try. That said, I understand what demoralizes them; it gets me too. What sane man doesn't it affect? But it does. So you can either surrender or try to fight your way out. So don't bother trying to help in their fights. They will have to struggle through it themselves for better or worse.
I have a more selfish reason. I dont want others knowing about it so they can go abroad and steal my women.
This is an issue I have thought about at length. The conclusion I came to is that putting info out on the internet doesn't matter much. 90% of guys will be too lazy to go travel. 5-9% will go be assholes abroad no matter whether they have info or not. And only 1-5% will actually go out there with good intentions. That said, I never reveal the most important the best parts of what I've learned. I didn't get it for free, so I won't give it out for free. Nor will I give any advantages to mongers, not that I'm seriously interested in places where mongers can be successful.
western china is no secret if that is your plan. No one wants to live there so of course you can get find a wife there.
Its pretty easy to know where all the mongers go and therefore to which countries avoid full of mongers if you want to find a quality woman that wont be a high chance of scammer. Thailand and phil and cambodia are the top mongering countries internationally I think in regads to asia. So I would assume anywhere else has potential if it is considered poor. Except for maybe really backward religious countries like india or the middle east. my next trip probably will explore these countries like vietnam and indonesia which seem to be closed to mongers for the most part compared to the top mongering countries. unfortunately neither is a country worth staying in for long so ill probably just have to be tourist mode anytime i explore new countries.
Not exactly. It does involve China though. I'm still amazed at how it is one of the biggest countries in the world and yet a hidden gold mine in so many ways. I guess that is because when it comes to dating and relationships in China, there is a strict division of women into wife class and whore class. It repels mongers very well.
I was watching a documentary on counterfeit goods lots of cute innocent chinese women desperate for factory work. Seems like china would be so easy to slay women left and right. How could it not be? Am I missing something?
Yes. It's a lot more involved than that.
so your telling me all these cute girls (and a "5" in china looks better than a "6" in philippines IMO) who are willing to slave away in a factory often illegally wouldn't monger with a foreigner? I dont beleive that for a second. China has a billion people dont worry if the secret comes out.
Ah, NLP, you always have a way of simplifying things without taking enough into consideration.
I bet the beijing hoes are easy.
It will be interesting to see how winston does. When is he going to china?
Dude...I thought - You have risen above Third World Minions. Being a third world guy - This is what i fought all my life - Getting REAL GOOD INFO - Everyone in a third world country Hides the best and gives out the crap - This is what I hated the most - I looked upto western world as there are people who still give out all they got - Thats why they are first world - People are more honest - sincere - Not everything can be related to money.
Asian's are more materialistic than people in the west Plus they hide a lot.
As a human being - whatever we have earned / learned - We have to give it all - Not in reverse - That's just pure Third World mentality to hide the best dude...
The state of the world is getting worse day by day as we can all see - its descending into chaos everyday when men keep the best what they know and give out the crap - Its so not right - You know it deep down your soul - You are one of the good guys who had really terrible experience in the Philippines and I'm kinda shocked you are also behaving like them - everything starts with by NOT GIVING what you really got.
You were cheated by your Girls Brother - Its just another platform - If you look at the bigger picture - You are cheating another human being by hiding what you really learned that could save a human beings life.
Why HIDE It - What is the motivation behind Hiding the best - That's what Evil does - Secrets are the bane on humanity - It has destroyed Civilizations.
I understand mongering related information is too sensitive and bad guys could take over - but its actually the reverse now - Bad guys are not dying, feeling claustrophobic the pressure of evil where they live - Bad guys are already claimed by the darkness.
Its the good guys - who need truly valuable information that could save there life - Evil - Bad Guys are Parasite's they thrive everywhere.
I'm just saying all this because This was one of the biggest issues we have in third world countries. People are not givers - Whats the point in giving second class knowledge and keeping the real info from a good guy.
I never knew about the Philippines and I was kinda "Saved" by the knowledge I got from unknown souls all over the internet - that really shared what they knew. Ofcourse, there were those - who gave bits and pieces BUT for what - Now we know - Is it really worth giving your soul away by hiding facts about the Philippines?
People in poor countries like India could benefit from people in first world countries who could afford to travel many places and recommend the best and skip the worst. We in poor countries won't have to struggle and waste money - we could just go where things are the Best.
I wasted so much money, time and sanity living in Thailand - If only people guided me earlier to Philippines. Remember, its 10 times harder to making a living in third world countries and keep your soul by not being an a**. There are so many temptations in third world countries to go to the dark side. Information like yours could really save these souls in all fields of life not just mongering and prevent them going to the dark side.
Is it that bad giving out the best you have learned to another human being - Especially during these times - where people are getting killed due to sexual frustration like Elliot Rodgers - Humanity need the real authentic Juice of life that needs to be shared so that good souls could go there.
I'm saying all this because you were the member who was on the right side of things and now it seems slowly after your Philippines experience you are moving to the dark side.
Sorry about the post - Its not personal - All the pent up emotional frustration of 37 years - just came out of living in a third world country of lies and secrets.
The third world is a place of untrustworthy people, a dog eat dog system with no breaks, and hidden demons that will eat you alive. Part of my despair is knowing that the entire earth will eventually become that - perhaps remaining so until the end of the species. Suffice to say that I have never found, nor do I think exists, an ideal place for me on earth. I - and men like me - were the result of a society that was once good enough to allow us to even exist. But now the world is in a particularly dark place and shows no signs of emerging from it. And that means my kind is ostracized and tormented. I have no intentions of allowing that to happen forever. If that means adopting their tactics, then so be it. I'm even a bit envious how sociopaths can do horrible things and yet remain just as OK with it as they ever were. I can't do that. It will affect me. Things from my past do, can't help that. I'm just trying to get mine, and f**k everybody else (except those I care about. My tribe is who I care about; the rest of so-called humanity is nothing to me.) I would help any man who showed sincere attention. I'm not interested in helping mongers, not even taking a chance. What I learned was hard-fought for. I won't give it up for free. I find very few men who have good intentions. Most just want to know where the sexual resources are in the world. Then they will exploit it and like a bacteria colony in a bottle they will exhaust their space and resources and perish. I'm not interested in helping those idiots along.
Say that's an interesting looking space monster in your avatar.
Time to Hide!