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I think a lot of guys who go to asia for a few weeks are wasting their time looking for a permanent or serious girlfriend.
im not gonna look for a serious girlfriend in asia again unless im living there. Tourist guide, friend, or maybe hoes or short term vacation girlfriend but thats it. Too much drama and its pointless anyways cause id rather just keep my options open and just go sightseeing now. I dont plan on doing any more 6 month stay in one single hotel plans anymore thats like if you want to settle with one girlfriend forever. Im thinking of changing my plans to a more casual and tourist orientated trips and less focused on women. It will be a little more costlier doing it this way and my trips would be shorter but trying to turn a vacation girlfriend into a long term relationship isn't gonna work. so if i do short stints in the future or mutliple country tours i wont have time to develop something serious.
And more importantly if i have to go back to america its silly to start something serious in the first place. No more long serious boring chats keeping up with each other while your away wondering what they are doing or if God forbid something were to happen with you thousands of miles away. Much better to save the serious stuff to when you actually pack your bags and permanently move there forever or are looking for a quick bride to bring back to america (which i dont recommend). Long distance relationships wont last forever unless the girl is truly desperate or ugly. and even then it might not
Last edited by newlifeinphilippines on Tue Nov 11, 2014 1:05 am, edited 2 times in total.
Agreed, couldn't have said it better myself.
Also what happens is you have a lot of guys who feel the urgency to rush a bride back to the u.s. if they dont want to do the long distance thing. It may "work" but is it the best option they can find? Unlikely. They would be better off staying years and then looking for a wife. And I dont think bringing a wife to america is exactly gonna keep her the sweet simpleton either.
Which explains why most foreigners end up with uglies. They are in a rush.
Yes, it isn't good to try it. And it you don't have a long term expat plan, it's likely going to end with a lot of heartbreak. This is one thing that happened to me.
A helpful guide:
Expatriation Apocalypse! The Guide to Expatriation for the Broke and Hopeless (Kindle)
Expatriation Apocalypse! (Paperback)
Ive noticed alot of guys here dont have a plan. The only reason why i even started this whole relationship idea overseas was cause i was hooking up with my bargirl and suddenly had feelings for her and she played that role. I actually had some feelings for a girl before her from a bar but it wasn't quite the same it was just cause i was new to the coutnry but the 2nd bargirl is where it developed and i came back to her and well obviously you know how bargirls are so you know what direction that headed to. And then i tried to do it with a regular girl. Anyways i just think the whole online dating or distance dating however you meet is a bit silly at this point. Unless your taking your bride back or plan to live there its pointless. you dont know what she is doing while your away or if something went wrong while you were gone. Nothing wrong with a vacation girlfriend or casual dating or a woman as your tourist guide or whatever but try not too get too involved with a woman if you know your heading back home or want to visit other places.
Yeah, it sucks watching the woman you love marry somebody else, just because you can't return to her.
8 years ago, on my first Philippines vacay, I met this hot girl in the mall who looked like J. Lo. And she was even hornier for me than I was for her.
But then I had to go home for a long time, so she just found another American to marry.
I don't have a detailed escape plan yet. For now, I'm just saving every penny. I figure my soonest exit date will be September 2015.
yeah but im willing to bet that girl is giving her new husband drama. She may even be cheating on him. Most girls on teh dating sites are scammers and will marry the FIRST monger who gives her the offer. If you didn't meet her on the dating site well obviously she went on it after you cause she married a foreigner so obviously she is working the system at that point
It's fine to go abroad for a few weeks and get a girlfriend. If it's a wife you're after, you may require a little more effort.
A lot of people here are very casual about relationships; it's the number of women bedded that counts. If that's how you wish to measure your masculinity, by all means, by my guest. But if it's a wife you want, you can definitely find one overseas. It may require a longer period of communication, to ensure she is truly sincere, and a longer stay there. If you are not looking for anything serious, don't be surprised the women treat your relationship the same way; as a throwaway item. Some men shouldn't look for girlfriends or any form of serious relationships in general, because they simply aren't ready for it and do not have the right mentality. You will reap what you sow.
Your right many of us guys aren't ready for a relationship. I knew i wasn't when i first went to phil in 2012 my goal was fun and to learn about the women there and the country etc. But as you know guys get caught up in things before they know it.
I should probably clarify and say a SERIOUS long term girlfriend. The problem about getting a girlfriend is you wind up breaking hearts or dealing with the drama and jealousy and boring chats when you eventually get back home. Often its better to not see it too permanent unless your looking for a wife. I think its ok to have a girlfriend but just try to not get your emotions involved too much if your goal is to not find a wife right away. Hence why vacation girlfriends or bargirls are so common with most foreigners.
How many weeks did you spend before you decided you wanted to marry? Was that intention when you went over there or were you on the fence?
Getting caught up in things is a personal choice, the result of choices you make. Make your intentions clear and hope for some understanding on the girls' part... but know she may still try to change your mind about how serious things ought to be. It's a risk you willingly take because no one's forcing you to date a girl with a gun to your head.
Not everyone can do that, though. The heart wants what the heart wants, and so does the body. I get how easy it is to be swept off your feet and lose yourself in romantic thoughts, if this is in your nature, especially after you've had a rough time in your own country. Some guys are able to separate the physical from the emotional a lot better then others, whereas others are born romantics who get carried away. A long term girlfriend, in my mind, is always serious business because you spend a large portion of your life together. For better or worse, that's gotta mean something to you. Especially in a country like the Philippines where girls are so marriage and maternally oriented.
I had known my wife since she was 18, we had been in regular contact for almost two years through the internet while both of us were busy with study and work. We already discussed marriage and a future together during this period. We then met up, already in love, got engaged. She got pregnant and we got married. My intention when I went to see her, was to marry her. So was hers. We knew we wanted to spend our lives together, and so we took the steps to ensure it would be so. Not everyone will be as serious as we are, as young as we are. And that's fine. But for those with serious and noble intentions, the overseas business does it's job.
and thats part of my problem whether it be a bargirl or a low hanger off a dating site or whatever my emotions get involved quick if i spend time together more than a few days if i like the girl alot. Although the more you go through these situations the more jaded and easier it is to let go. It will be hard if your first filipina is your first girlfriend ever.
That's great Marcos. It's exactly what I was trying to say here:
If you have the hunger and the drive, the rest takes care of itself. Serious and noble intentions.
I read your post on that thread, and couldn't agree more. It's all about getting in a certain type of flow. Setting goals, and working towards achieving them. Once I realized that, it hit me... I have been feeling more energetic and powerful ever since, and achieved things I've never expected to achieve.
I'm not one to brag, and my paycheck is far from spectacular unlike some here, but I am saving money and working hard for the future, as well as the here and now. I'm not yet at the point where I want to be, but having dreams and moving forward in life is one helluva feeling. You know this feeling, because you have seen a different world. You have tasted life on the other side of the globe, traveling, new experiences, new adventures... I drank with fishermen and hunters, with construction workers and professors. I've drank with a philosopher and discussed the meaning of life, helped the grandson of a headhunter slaughter a goat, gotten drunk on whiskey with a priest, climbed mountains with miners, rode narrow roads along cliffs... I've made sweet love to a beautiful woman and fathered a beautiful child.
If I died today, I would already have had a more interesting life then some of my old classmates who will never leave their hometown and explore the world. We are a group of men who did things, who took actions, who explored new lands. In the spirits of our ancestors, who were warriors, fighters, lovers and thinkers. This is the life, and it's a good life. And upon finding a good wife, we may continue that long line unto the next generations. And have stories to tell our grandchildren.
Maybe. This girl was too easy. She probably married the first westerner she could get her hands on.
its been my observation that any girl who is on a dating site or who actively pursues them in real life will marry ANY MONGER note I said monger just to prove a point that will give her a ring. The only girls that are picky about it generally wont meet you easily from a dating site and will often flake out or dissapear or have a tons of guys online and probably are more likely to just use the dating site to feed their ego or to make some cash from someone sending the money.
offline alot of the girls wont meet a foreigner except slowly. If you didn't meet them at a dating site but in person and they open up to you fast they have an agenda cause the regular girls are a bit apprehensive about foreigners.
There are exceptions to even a girl who is "easy" im sure she just may be a natural nympho who happens to like you LOL In general id be apprehensive about any girl you meet there in person or online who seems "horny". Its just the dating sites i think has an overwhelming majority of disingenious women.
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