Going to pubs on your own

[mattyman]

hI all, was just wondering what your experiences are of doing this?

I went out alone last night mainly because a) Not having anyone to go out with, because my friends all just want to stay-in, keep to themselves, some settled-down, or just being flaky and unreliable, and b) I was NOT in the mood for staying-in and was fed-up of being shut in the house in the evenings, or being cooped-up in front of the tv round friends places. The stark choice of be cooped-in, or go out alone.

The experience wasn't too bad, did get talking to the odd person who was on their own themselves. I've been to pubs on my own before and got talking to random people when I went to Amsterdam earlier in the year, so I thought why not give it a go locally?

I must say, compared to going out alone in Amsterdam, there were fewer people that seemed approachable and open to being approached plus, there was almost no-one else alone except the odd old man. Most were in large groups among themselves that looked pretty exclusive and unapproachable.

Nothing much happened apart from the exchange of a few words between one person. Most the night I just sat at the bar looking at the footy pretending to be waiting for friends.

In Amsterdam, I got talking to these two random people, got on well, and they invited me to join them the following night. I did, along with a group of people including Spanish and British girls who they knew. That would NEVER happen in Weymouth.

So yeah, locally it's fair to say that; going out alone=staying alone. When people say that 'lonelienss is a choice' they're forgetting, to what DEGREE is that so?

What are your experiences of going to bars and pubs on your own? Have any of you guys been in the situation where you've gone out alone because you've got no-one to go out with yet really are not in the mood for staying-in? What are your experiences with going out alone? What about some of you guys in the Phillipines?

Have any of you guys hadgood experiences doing this, any of you guys had bad experiences? Share

[The]

Are you that anti social that you cant find new friends? Theres got to be attractive women in Weymouth that you can daygame, or are you a hermit who depends on unreliable friends to accompany you? The whole point of this board is if you dont like your location, change it.....Do you have any plans on doing so?

[mattyman]

Are you that anti social that you cant find new friends? Theres got to be attractive women in Weymouth that you can daygame, or are you a hermit who depends on unreliable friends to accompany you? The whole point of this board is if you dont like your location, change it.....Do you have any plans on doing so?

RE the question, yes I do, goin to stay in Granada Spain after Christmas until about late Feb or March.

What's with the judgement and the tone incivility, patronisation and rudeness? Really isn't necessary or called-for.

The whole point of this board is about the concept expanding your social horizons beyond your immediate environment, about finding the right people for you. I like it because it calls into question some these bizzarre aspects of this americanised/westernized culture. This board is about 'you need to find the right people for you' rather than the more short-sighted, 'you need to be fixed' or 'there's a minimum-required standard'. I made this post, because there's been lots of talk in the past about the bar scene, about differences between countries, about approachability of strangers etc, and how it varies, and what it's implications maybe. It was this I was hoping to stimulate discussion over rather than getting the typical Gen-Y narcissist presumptious rubbish. I thought this board was against that stuff originally, this board was originally against the idea that your social success is 1000% your responsibility, that you are the only factor, that other factors do not matter. I thought that it was against looking down on people who were suffering, or who were hard-pressed? In so many ways, this board has become the very thing that it was against.

I thought that this was not just about foreign women, but getting away from the toxicity and narcissism and that not everywhere is like that to the same degree.

Guess this site is not what it used to be. Gee that sucks

[Jester]

The, shut the f**k up. Think before you post. God people like you are annoying.

MattyMan, I am very familiar with the issue, perhaps for different reasons (age etc) but very familiar nonetheless. I have been on local TV, I speak well in front of crowds, I am usually the life of the party. Yet even I shrink from going out alone. I've done it, but I've pitched tents in freezing temperatures too. Neither one appeals to do every day.

You are NOT alone, and your OP is a +1. This is in fact at root the genesis of HA. If we could go out alone and make friends, rebuild a shattered post-divorce life, or else start a new wet-behind-the-ears young-guy life ------- we wouldnt be leaving.

Please post more about your location if you feel like it. I understand the issue for young people, you dont want to get stuck talking to Popeye the Sailor Man even if he is garrulous. I have 4 sons, I understand that young wants to be with young.

Bottom line --- Please do NOT leave because of The's negativity.

[The]

The, shut the f**k up. Think before you post. God people like you are annoying.

MattyMan, I am very familiar with the issue, perhaps for different reasons (age etc) but very familiar nonetheless. I have been on local TV, I speak well in front of crowds, I am usually the life of the party. Yet even I shrink from going out alone. I've done it, but I've pitched tents in freezing temperatures too. Neither one appeals to do every day.

You are NOT alone, and your OP is a +1. This is in fact at root the genesis of HA. If we could go out alone and make friends, rebuild a shattered post-divorce life, or else start a new wet-behind-the-ears young-guy life ------- we wouldnt be leaving.

Please post more about your location if you feel like it. I understand the issue for young people, you dont want to get stuck talking to Popeye the Sailor Man even if he is garrulous. I have 4 sons, I understand that young wants to be with young.

Bottom line --- Please do NOT leave because of The's negativity.

Why? Because I dont speak in a flowery language like im supposed to? Why? Because I didnt join in mattyman's PITY PARTY? Please spare me the talk Jester.....