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Now this may shock you but honestly I think the biggest reason for why most guys fail abroad is TIME and MONEY and Lack of a plan that will work under those conditions.
Plan 1) Guy goes to asia for a vacation girlfriend cause he is only there for a few months. He WANTS a good woman t hat maybe could lead to a wife someday but realizes with the lack of time and money to truly pursue that it will be hard to achieve as he goes back home.
Plan 2) Guy is there for 2 weeks and winds up with bar girls. He also wishes he could find something better but 2 weeks is all the time he can get away from work (or has the money to afford).
Plan 3) Guy thinks he wants love but then after meeting a few girls he gets discouraged and realizes he will be on a departing flight in a few months. He gives up because he knows its stupid to bother his search and then looks for easy girls online or at the bars.
Do you see the all the common denominator? Its all based on time and money. All 3 guys WISH for a long term serious girlfriend possibly leading to marriage, but the time and money aspect constrain them and they wind up taking the easy route. Most filipinas know this too, which is why most dont trust foreigners.
I believe this was a huge factor in me cause i was always working everyday and stressed about my income so I wanted the "easiest" options available especially since I knew i would never stay long (1 to 6 months at a time). think when one goes abroad they need a gameplan. You just can't wander around withut a plan. I think for now since i dont know what i want on a lot of things I will just to be visiting new countries acclimating myself and to learn the cultures and not be focused just on women or wife hunting or doing work all day on my computer. Since ill be quitting my main source of online work in the near future ill have the time to not be holed up on my computer so much. That was a huge problem before and actually probably led me to my detriment cause wh at was happening was i was so busy with work i didn't have the time to meet decent women and i was stressed about my finances. In the future ill be only making chump change from that low key stuff and ill just enjoy my vacatino and not even worry about that stuff.
This is more obvious than shocking.
yeah thats why its shocking though cause most guys dont realize this simple fact until theyve done 2 or 3 trips. Hero, me, Ghost and a few others seem to have run into the "time and money is limited" element only after the fact realizing that.
I wouldn't say time is a major issue. Money always is, though.
I made several mistakes while I was abroad. It hit me hard, and now I've been back here for several months. And it hit my wallet hard too.
Time is easy - everyone always has the exact same amount. In this sense we are all equals. You just have to use it well, which isn't always easy.
If you're working a corporate type of job, you'll have more money but less time. The worst case is working low-end jobs because it will eat up your time and not give you much money.
If you're unemployed, you have lots of time. A lot of members here fail with that. They get eaten up by depression and venting and never do anything with their time, even though they have hours per day to work on things.
Time is not easy cause both time and money are equally important. Time = money or vice o verso so you can't say its only money. For example i had lack of time more than money because i couldn't quit my work cause i wanted to keep making good money so it took up my time always and i couldn't enjoy my vacation cause i always had lots of work to do. It also kept me from wanting to meet quality women and take my time cause i was worrieda bout not having the time to deal with the drama and pursuit of it. I could have stopped but then i would be making less money which means it would take me even longer to quit from this flaky industry which i want to do in the near future.
Generally if you have money, you don't have time; if you have plenty of time, you don't have money.
And it's rare to see someone have both. Snake oil salesman on the internet always claim such things, yet for most of us, it isn't really possible.
in about 2 years ill actually have both time and money if my online income continues this good. ill be at my goal as far as having enough savings that i can change directions and will have a nice cash cow so i can focus on some real low key activity online that will be earning me tiny money and not th at much work required (nor worth it to maintain) so i can focus on other things more. Nothing worse then going on vacation for months and not being able to enjoy it cause your stressed about your work or want to keep the money going. for now i making hay while the going is good but it wont last forever. Im probably not gonna settle down into a foreign country anytime soon basically with my budget its the same whether i spend a few months in hotels and flying around per year and then going back or livning there more modestly year around. Ill probably stay awy from settling until i have a reason to which may never be cause im skeptical any of these countries have the wife i want.
Well said. Best I can do is save every penny and retire early.
I don't see this as a failure if the guy keep knowing where he is and what he is doing.
Am i frustrated because i don't have the money and the time i want to have?
Yes...sure...but i prefer to be where i am now than to be where i was before where i didn't even believe the abroad possibility.
So it's all about how you make your life..either you see things in the bad sense..either you try find the good of it and move on.
Dear Sir Green1976,
If you do not have the time or money to go overseas. Then you do not have the time or money to have children or a family.
If you are too poor or too stupid to find a way to go overseas you are definitely unqualified to have children or a wife.
It takes a whole lot more time and money to have a family. Basically if your too poor for foreign women you are way too f***ing poor for American women or raising children.
Thanks and Enjoy
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
What you stated doesn't change what i said.
It's all about how you see your life..and it's not the way i see mine.
I see the positive side of it..on my 20 something trips to SEA in three weeks and counting for more i hope.
I don't plan to have children at the moment,no pressure for me.
Happen or not happen..life goes on.
I'm not shrugging off time or money, yes they are factors, but to me the biggest reasons for failure are not being proactive, indecisive motives, and "putting the p***y on the pedestal." To me 3-6 months is enough time to find a good wife, but it's also enough time to second guess your motives for going.
Take Guy A for instance. Meets a girl he likes a lot online and plans to meet her. Takes 3 months off and heads to her country. While he is there he is exposed to other girls both naughty and nice that show interest in him. He begins to second guess whether he wants to get married. He looks at the girl who used to rock his world as now being average and he thinks why settle down when I can potentially have the pick of the litter. This guy will more likely than not never be satisfied again, or at least to the point when his libido starts to diminish.
As I think someone else mentioned, having a set plan and sticking to it is the key to success. You can't be wishy-washy on your motives and expect a certain end result.
Another is being realistic. I don't think I've met or heard of anyone heading to a country for 2-3 weeks without any plan or connections trying to meet a wife in that time frame. Some may BS that reason as a way to cover their true motives of just wanting some play but I seriously doubt anyone expects that outcome. And even then it's still possible. Hell on my first trip of slightly less than a month, I met an attractive professional girl I'd be in a long distance relationship for 9 months past our initial meetup.
And as I've said time and time again, be active. Don't just stay in your apartment or hotel all day and expect to find the love of your life. Newlife I understand your work situation but this can be good advice for others who don't work 20 hours a day. It doesn't cost much money to go out and do things. If one is so absorbed with sex, sex, sex, and doesn't have the time or willpower to actually get to know and appreciate the local culture than they will fail big time. And if they are absorbed with those feelings, then they aren't in the country to find a wife to begin with.
3 to 6 months isn't even enough time to get to know a girl. You may find the wife but youd have to make multiple trips over years of that to confirm it.
You sort of are struggling for time cause you only go there for what 1 or 2 months at a time? Thats not enough to really establish anything your in "rush mentality". Albeit at least you have the time though to spend all day running around and courting women. I couldn't do that with my work load i wantt o keep up every single day and not miss a day of work and i need to retire from what i do as soon as possible so id feel guilty for making less if i stopped early. Its a no win situation. But guys like you who take 1 or 2 months off I guess who plan to have a career for many years i guess can take their time. But you have lack of money and time too cause otherwise you could be there for 6 months or live there, but thats not plausible either for you right now.
This game of global economy is f***ing over the vast majority of males, and stealing their opportunities and resources. There's the real victim blaming going on in Western cultures - and you support it? You ought to be ashamed.
That said, as badly as things are stacked against men, if one wants out, one must struggle to find escape and respite. As bad as things are, the alternative is like a state of living death in a Western shithole.
More true words have never been spoken.
Everybody has a plan til they get punched in the mouth