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Quite simply, there's little incentive for many men to take risk today. The State has found a way to sort out everything.
Especially if you want to look after the home while the woman goes out to work. The woman has become the man. What does the man become? A man in this situation has no incentive to improve himself or his life, his every basic need may well be catered for. I'm not saying it's right (I believe it is f***ing horrific, but it's reality and I am a realist), I'm saying that's how the 21st Century Man has become.
When women become men, what are men to become? This is the dilemma of the uninspired modern 'man'.
By the way, it is easy to boast about risk when you are young and do not know what is at stake in life, and when you have not experienced hardship in life. A man who has experienced bad times may attempt to minimise risk in an effort to prevent such a thing from happening again.
Think of the 18th Century (the Industrial Revolution), 19th Century (rail, refrigeration, telecommunications, electricity) and 20th Century (automobiles, flight, radio, TV, modern science), opportunities galore for the clever, resourceful man. Now, we have huge multi-national corporations who have filled most of the market niches, and billions more people to compete with. The business opportunities are there but very scarce without a large initial investment of capital. The only advantage today is a huge market for the right product.
Trying to be a better man
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I am not trying to downplay the economics of it. I understand that sometimes there is not a lot of obvious opportunity. I do believe however there are many niches to be filled in the developing world. And as far as adversity, ( I know you were generalizing, but I am just saying in my example) I have lost a parent, I have dealt with depression,I have dealt with the inanities that are modern American life. I understand what you mean by a young guy being all hyped,but despite all that, I still persevered. Hell, even though I had to work two part time jobs, I made up my mind that 2015 is the year I take a trip (to Panama). Now I understand getting overseas permanently might be a challenge for some people, including myself at the moment, but all I am saying is at least try it. I personally don't think that is too much, built guess it is.
On the topic of American life, I get what you are saying. But the funny thing is that no matter how much females look down on you in the states ( as I was), no matter how many signs you see of a collapse ( I did starting at 16 and started researching where I could go), no matter how depressed you are ( as I was), people still reject any alternative. Now I am not here to say how strong I am or whatnot, but to point out how absurd some of this is. Hell,I am a pessimist abouthings, but I still see opportunity.what I am getting at is that there is little excuse, but I guess that changes little.
The Daily Agorist, Learn to Live Independent of the System! http://www.theagoristreview.blogspot.com
I get what you're saying too, and more power to you for pursuing your dreams and passions. It sounds like you having come to terms with the reality of your world very quickly - it took me much longer.
In regards to your point about men not taking risk in the pursuit of passions, I think many men have fallen prey to the society they live in, which today is that females are the dominant sex and we should just eke out a life working 9-5 while consuming needlessly. Unless a man actively questions the absolute core of his existence, it is difficult to discover true reality. Society (and in many cases family) pressures condition a man to accept the system he is in and to participate in it.
I'm sorry to hear about your lost parent and depression. It seems adversity has brought out some fighting qualities in you though.
Good luck on your travelling and adventuring, if you can support it financially it would be a wonderful life experience. Just keep learning about life, the world and the world's history. There's liberation to be found in knowledge too.
Trying to be a better man
I feel yah man. I'm 25 and exactly the same. I was talking to a colleague the other day, he's about 30, and out of the top ten places he wanted to visit, 9 were in the USA, Florida being at the top. A Caribbean cruise was the international destination. I didn't understand it. I think it's less about being lazy and more about them being too scared. Many Americans know very little about the outside world and all that it has to offer. They believe America is the greatest and has it all. Definitely not so.
My friends are sort of the same way. They have the desire to go, but no fortitude to make it happen. They spend hundreds and thousands on guns, brand new cars, and buying booze every weekend at the same bar. The thought of saving a little bit to take a nice trip to a cheap international destination blows their mind.
That's when one just has to nut up and go out on their own.If you wait every time for friends or a companion to tag along, you will miss a lot in life.
+ 100 Well said.
This is an accurate description of about 90% of HA posters.
Only wanting to take vacations to Florida is not necessary being "scared", it's probably just your friend's tastes/worldview. Many people simply have no desire to travel extensively, learn about other cultures, go beyond their own backyard. Some of my friends are the exact same way, their lives revolve around ski trips to Colorado, spending money on alcohol, the latest phones, computers and other toys. Getting them off the couch to drive more than 30 min across town to a cool restaurant or social event is news for them. The friends of mine who do talk about exploring other countries do just that: talk about it. I've tried suggesting organized vacations together to other countries, but it never gets beyond soft chatter, and even if it did, my friends would probably just drag me down while traveling together. They're on a different frequency from me, lazy, uninterested, unreliable, and pretty blue pill about things. We also seem to have some differences on our very core values at this point. Needless to say, I have pretty different taste in women from them.
You absolutely do have to get out and make the biggest things happen on your own, such as international travel, building a career or a challenging hobby, starting a business project, or finding your future wife. It'll only get harder to motivate your friends as they get older. I'm making plans to visit my friend in Spain this spring and then perhaps go solo to Mexico or Colombia later this year. Was thinking about inviting one of my American friends, but I know better than that. The thing about travel is, you most likely will have to roll solo, unless you have some part of the world where you already have a friend or perhaps family. Otherwise, pick a region, study the hell out of it, learn the language, culture, popular social activities, and wise ways of getting around said country.
And there are the "travelers" who took a cruise to the Caribbean or went with a church group to "missionary."
That's encasing yourself in a bubble. This happens to some extent for everyone. But people who travel like in these examples aren't really learning anything, or exploring, or leaving their comfort zones. I wouldn't want to have my hand held so that I can't explore and learn and date.
That's for damn sure!
When a guy wants to sit around talking about "the way things used to be", I know it's time to move on and stop hanging with him so much
"Well actually, she's not REALLY my daughter. But she does like to call me Daddy... at certain moments..."
for me its a paradox of damned if i do damned if i dont and i suspect a lot of guys when they analyze it realize they will just have a whole new set of cons.
For example at my age the woman will be too close to my age. I really want a much younger wife. so when im older i can enjoy her beauty. I also dont have the money to travel or get a wife right now so its a nonstarter for me and most people.
But if i wait when im older she may run off if i bring her to america cause of the large age gap. Especially if the girl is very pretty (compared to what most guys get). So id have to probably ahve to live in phil like the other old farts do here to keep the girl in check and i dont want to live in asia. Also my parents wont be around and they cant enjoy my new life. So that really sucks. and even if they were alive i wouldn't ant to abandon them in asia.
Also I dont have money for kids and most women want kids. I barely enough to live very frugally for myself and possibly a partner.
In other words im screwed no matter what outcome. So im gonna focus on myself.
Reminded me of this clip:
The Daily Agorist, Learn to Live Independent of the System! http://www.theagoristreview.blogspot.com
As someone was has *sort of* done this, I don't necessarily agree. Yes, it IS possible to do this and stay in a 'bubble,' but I mean, it's possible to be an honest-to-goodness expat and still be in your bubble as well (see: all the expats that only hang out in expat hangouts and communities). I don't think it was like the Louis C.K. clip, because everyone who went there in that particular group had something semi-useful to teach competent adults -- no building wooden houses that the locals can build 100x better and faster, or teaching children stupid things that locals would immediately have to un-teach them because the people teaching them have no credentials or sense whatsoever. I'm sure vaguely scammy 'feel-good' operations like he discusses exist, but on a certain level I feel like some of that sort of criticism is just another facet of the same thing that has been talked about: keep people from ever getting up and going anywhere. In this case, it's with shame instead of fear ("do you REALLY think you're helping those people?" *eye roll* ~articles on tons of liberal websites). The subtext in the message is very clear: donate money if you want, but stay home. There's no point to getting up and going anywhere. You won't be doing any good. Even if this message is true at the time, it lacks an important follow-up. What if you really want to help? No bullshit for facebook like trolling or job resume padding. Let' say the story deeply affects you, and you want to do something. No information is provided. No list of things that would be useful to such communities, no places to go find such a list, no place to become qualified to render such services. Nothing. Give money. Stay home. For the love of God, stay home. Then we ask why nobody ever thinks to go anywhere.
In general, I do agree with this post, and the sentiment of this topic. But you underestimate the level of saturation these messages have in our culture, and how it affects absolutely everything. People who know that they exist and can often recognize them are still prone to falling into the patterns. Has an acquaintance ever invited you over for dinner/to work on something/to hang out, and even though you knew it was ridiculous, you still had a nagging fear somewhere deep down that they might do something to you? 'Merica.
And this is on top of the fact that taking risks in general is a thing people are naturally fearful of and shy away from, particularly when those risks carry much bigger consequences than 'feel embarrassed cause some chick shot me down' or 'it turns out that Pakistani food doesn't agree with me at all.' I don't know any reliable academic sources for this, but there are a few estimates that only 2-5% of people ever go skydiving -- and of those, skydiving is probably THE most popular stereotypical thing for people to do upon finding out that they are going to die anyway. Skydiving deaths are very uncommon. It's certainly an experience you're not going to create any other way. Yet nobody does it. We can talk all we want about people talking the talk and never walking the walk. But people generally only become open to taking risks when their misery has outclassed the possible negative consequences of trying to alleviate it. People are naturally fearful, and prefer familiarity, and the media does not want you to leave for 'elsewhere,' and thus has no incentive to provide you information that would be useful to bettering yourself. If you really want it, obviously, you're going to find it (same as if you really want to help poor communities in the third world), or in lieu of that, take the plunge anyway and just wing it as best you can. And some people just don't want it, even when they say they do. You can't help them. You can provide them some necessary information to get them started, and then hope they follow up, but you can't convince them to change their lives. They aren't miserable enough to see the inherent risks as being worth it, and they'll think that you're crazy for doing it. The same way people think that skydivers are crazy.
Funny you mention this. I agree with the basis of your point.
With that said I'll be going on a missions trip to Haiti in March. I'll be sleeping in a worn down shack with no running water or electricity, using latrines, no local women (well IDK about Haitian women anyways lol), and eating crap food for 8 days. Even for me that's out of my comfort zone. But the opportunity was given to me so I'm like why not. I don't have the delusion of thinking I'll be saving the world or even doing that good of work (besides of course giving people a place to worship and clothes), but it is at least an excuse to see and interact with a culture that I've never really had any inclination to see. Who knows I may end up loving the place.
Trips like those can give individuals the initial confidence required to jump out of their comfort zone. I know it did for me. My first real trip overseas was to the Philippines in 09 at 19 years old. I had no idea what I was getting into or what I'd get to see. Though it wasn't a missionary trip, it was a touristy trip that sparked my interest in traveling the world. In that time span I've been back 2 other times (alone) and traveled to Central America and this year will be Haiti and possibly other places. By no means is it something to brag about but I'd probably never of had those experiences if it wasn't for the initial push. Honestly I still get a little nervous about traveling to places where English isn't spoken regularly. But to me that is part of the thrill.
Bottom line is that most Americans lack the confidence to go out on their own and need a driving mechanism to get them out of their comfort zones. For many, seeing poverty is difficult, so is eating unknown food, or trying to get by in a language not your own. Not knowing where to go or being lonely a lot of times can be rough as well. Those factors turn a lot of people off automatically. Some people are just not made to experience and enjoy other cultures; others are.