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WARNING: This is your filipina wife after she lands in U.S

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Re: WARNING This is your filipina wife after she lands to U.

Postby newlifeinphilippines » Sun Jan 25, 2015 1:36 am

publicduende wrote:
newlifeinphilippines wrote:Someone left this comment on youtube to one of henrys videos. He got burned twice to marrying filipina and bringing to america.




Being a Reservist, there was nothing military about either relationship. I was a school teacher visiting friends of friends in Manila, when we chanced to visit Makati Medical Center Hospital, where my future first wife was a nursing student at their rather exclusive school of nursing. Thus, her family was not poor. She was astonishingly beautiful. We corresponded for for three years, before I married her, and petitioned her to California. Like I say, she was the sweetest girl in the world, smiling 24/7 until that time. Seemingly, butter would not have melted in her mouth.

Immediately after marriage all smiles for me vanished, but they abounded for others. She became a fearsome, sharp tongued, shouting demon, deriding, abusive, insulting, and criticizing harpy, threatening, and bullying me day in and day out. I came to dread coming home from work. Her former self had all been an act.

I never again heard the words "please", "excuse me", or "thank you" exit her mouth in my direction. In fact, she never asked. Instead, she always commanded, expecting that her will would be done or else! When I asked her about this, she told me that I was nothing and nobody, and never would become anything, as I was only a common school teacher, not even a principal - not a true professional, and thus I was not deserving of any courtesy.

After a year, I received a phone call informing me that my wife had a boyfriend, with all the details - name, place of work, address, make of car, license number, etc.. I checked it out and found all of it to be true. However, my wife was so sharp tongued, and aggressive that I was too fearful to even mention it to her, knowing that I would be verbally beat to a pulp.

Six months later, I received another call informing me of a new boyfriend, again with all details. This allegation also turned out to be true in all its details. This time I felt I had to bring the matter to my wife's attention, even knowing the punishment which would be inflicted upon me. I did. Her reaction was as I expected - a vicious, verbal attack, during which she stated in part that she had a right to do as she wished, and that I had no right to stick my "big nose" into her business. End of first marriage after only two years.

I mistakenly believed at this time that my first wife was a fluke - that her attitude and demeanor were as a result of her own personal traits - that I had run into the proverbial bad apple in the barrel.

A year later, I was offered a job teaching at Brent International School in Manila, which I accepted. After three years there, I met my second wife. Again, she was the sweetest, nicest girl in the world, smiling 24/7. ( By the way, I submit to you that this smiling trait is cultural, not personal - that it is a mask worn in public to hide their true attitude, feelings and thoughts). I dated my second wife for three and a half years, marrying her just before relocating to a new job on the island of Saipan (which is part of a U.S. Territory, known as the U.S. Commonwealth of the Northern Mariana Islands, or CNMI).

Once again, I was shocked to witness the same transformation in my second wife as occurred with my first wife. Again, her former self had all been an act - a myth, which was replaced with an attitude of distain, severe criticism, and verbal abuse, reprimands, demanding, threatening, a sour face, sharp tongue, and bullying. Again, I never heard the words "please", "thank you", or "excuse me" again. Yes, and once again I was never asked to do anything, but commanded to do it.

One day, a Filipina neighbor lady congratulated me on our coming child, which I knew nothing about. I was perplexed concerning this turn of events as I had had a vasectomy years prior. As it turned out, Saipan being the small island that it is, the wife of the father of the child attended the same church as myself.

Like my first wife, when I brought this situation up with my wife, she freely admitted all, but showed no remorse, regret or guilt concerning it. I asked myself what Jesus would have had me do in such as situation, and thus stayed with her until she deliver, paying all expenses, and then sent her to school to become an RN, so she could support him well. Although I can no longer live with my wifes abuse, I continue to help support her son, and treat hm as my own, my feeling being that a son needs a father. (Incidentialy, I have never heard one word of gratitude fall from my wife's lips regarding that which I have done for her).

The population of Saipan is composed of approximately 15% Statesiders, with the remainder of the pop. being about equally divided between Filipino contract workers (mostly female), and local Chamorros. Most of the male Statesiders on the island are or were married to Filipinas.

Of the perhaps twenty fourteen Statesiders I was acquainted with over the course of fifteen years on Saipan, who were married to, Filipinas, only one that I can remember idid not have the exact same experience with their wives as I did. Yes, I speak of the nicest, sweetest, butter wouldn't melt in her mouth girl transforming into a fearsome, verbally abusive, threatening, rude, bullying, etc. harpy, right before their eyes, but once again, only in private. In public each of their wives, and mine as well, continued to act so sweet, and indeed cutie- pie, that every male who meets them greatly envies their American husbands. (Yes, and after marriage, they also never heard the words, "please", etc again).

I should also mention that the wives of all that I can remember also eventually became involved in relationships out side the marriage, usually resulting divorce. But, not to worry, newly arriving Statesiders continue to snap up and marry Filipinas at a merry clip 


This guy is either a spineless idiot, or a crafty writer. I would go for the latter.


I noticed his youtube username was already military title so its not like he suddenly pretended to be a military guy to write that comment. So im sure he is military but as for the rest of the story who knows. Ill just play it safe and assume its real. I doubt someone would go to that length to write a comment also to make themselves look so dumb.
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Re: WARNING: This is your filipina wife after she lands in U

Postby Signet » Sun Jan 25, 2015 6:45 pm

Someone absolutely would go to that length to make themselves look dumb if it served an agenda they had. Everybody trying to sell a 'revolutionary new workout!!!' or 'the ultimate guide to getting girls' always has a story that paints them as the most pathetic loser to have ever lived -- an important part of reeling in people with low self-esteem (see? I was EVEN WORSE than YOU). It's a pretty basic marketing tactic. On the one hand, he doesn't appear to be selling anything, but on the other, it's also only youtube, and there is no penalty for pursuing a vendetta to the point of self-destruction either. Did he have a bad marriage to a girl that soured him on her people? Maybe he did, and then just decided to drive the point home by exaggerating it past the limits of sense. I don't know. Nobody else does either. Does it change anything overall? Not really. You should ALWAYS be careful, and this cautionary fable shouldn't need to have been the lightbulb that somebody needed to learn that. It should be common sense.

I don't know if the story is real or not, and I have no desire to investigate or speculate. This is just RE: no reason anyone would fabricate a story to make themselves look bad. Of course they would.
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Re: WARNING: This is your filipina wife after she lands in U

Postby newlifeinphilippines » Sun Jan 25, 2015 9:56 pm

Signet wrote:Someone absolutely would go to that length to make themselves look dumb if it served an agenda they had. Everybody trying to sell a 'revolutionary new workout!!!' or 'the ultimate guide to getting girls' always has a story that paints them as the most pathetic loser to have ever lived -- an important part of reeling in people with low self-esteem (see? I was EVEN WORSE than YOU). It's a pretty basic marketing tactic. On the one hand, he doesn't appear to be selling anything, but on the other, it's also only youtube, and there is no penalty for pursuing a vendetta to the point of self-destruction either. Did he have a bad marriage to a girl that soured him on her people? Maybe he did, and then just decided to drive the point home by exaggerating it past the limits of sense. I don't know. Nobody else does either. Does it change anything overall? Not really. You should ALWAYS be careful, and this cautionary fable shouldn't need to have been the lightbulb that somebody needed to learn that. It should be common sense.

I don't know if the story is real or not, and I have no desire to investigate or speculate. This is just RE: no reason anyone would fabricate a story to make themselves look bad. Of course they would.



most wouldn't therefore ill assume its true so i dont wind up like him.

Notice both women were educated and had money. I never go for those types anyways i noticed expats like rock love that demographic yet he constantly is going through new women. Give me a beautiful simple woman anyday who is eager to please.
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Re: WARNING: This is your filipina wife after she lands in U

Postby Ghost » Sun Jan 25, 2015 10:25 pm

The story seems real to me. I've seen enough spineless beta-wallet simps to believe it, even extreme as it sounds. Never underestimate the power of "the thirst" to drive a man to utter stupidity...
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Re: WARNING: This is your filipina wife after she lands in U

Postby newlifeinphilippines » Sun Jan 25, 2015 10:33 pm

Ghost wrote:The story seems real to me. I've seen enough spineless beta-wallet simps to believe it, even extreme as it sounds. Never underestimate the power of "the thirst" to drive a man to utter stupidity...



yes americaninbangkok always does videos where th e guys stories are even more outrageous than that.
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Re: WARNING: This is your filipina wife after she lands in U

Postby Ghost » Sun Jan 25, 2015 10:44 pm

newlifeinphilippines wrote:
Ghost wrote:The story seems real to me. I've seen enough spineless beta-wallet simps to believe it, even extreme as it sounds. Never underestimate the power of "the thirst" to drive a man to utter stupidity...



yes americaninbangkok always does videos where th e guys stories are even more outrageous than that.


Yeah, plus he married a single mom didn't he? So he's pretty much the same.
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Re: WARNING: This is your filipina wife after she lands in U

Postby OutWest » Sun Jan 25, 2015 11:04 pm

Ghost wrote:
newlifeinphilippines wrote:
Ghost wrote:The story seems real to me. I've seen enough spineless beta-wallet simps to believe it, even extreme as it sounds. Never underestimate the power of "the thirst" to drive a man to utter stupidity...



yes americaninbangkok always does videos where th e guys stories are even more outrageous than that.


Yeah, plus he married a single mom didn't he? So he's pretty much the same.


It is very unlikely that you can ever save a fool from himself...and military dude NOT married to a bar girl? I thought that out of 10 military men, 11 of them were married to bar girls...

Stupidity is usually its own reward...very rare that ALL of the red flags were not there...
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Re: WARNING: This is your filipina wife after she lands in U

Postby newlifeinphilippines » Sun Jan 25, 2015 11:29 pm

OutWest wrote:
Ghost wrote:
newlifeinphilippines wrote:
Ghost wrote:The story seems real to me. I've seen enough spineless beta-wallet simps to believe it, even extreme as it sounds. Never underestimate the power of "the thirst" to drive a man to utter stupidity...



yes americaninbangkok always does videos where th e guys stories are even more outrageous than that.


Yeah, plus he married a single mom didn't he? So he's pretty much the same.


It is very unlikely that you can ever save a fool from himself...and military dude NOT married to a bar girl? I thought that out of 10 military men, 11 of them were married to bar girls...

Stupidity is usually its own reward...very rare that ALL of the red flags were not there...


he said he was a teacher or something.


americaninbangkok didn't marry a single mother thats a myth started by repatriate. the kids even wear glasses like scott.
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Re: WARNING: This is your filipina wife after she lands in U

Postby newlifeinphilippines » Sat Jan 31, 2015 1:46 am

Here is another guy who got burned by a filipina marriage. He made lots of comments but this is one of them on youtube.



It is like a periodic thing after you bring her to the USA. First she will hit you up to send them a couple hundred bucs via western union, when you stop doing that for whatever reason, they will call about every 3 months in the middle of the night, likely her Mom or Sister, like 3:30 - 4:00am and ask to speak to her. You put her on the phone and they will procede to tell her that the Grandmother is sick, Uncle had a car wreck or died, Sister's child is in the hospital. One Uncle died 3 times :-) They may be laughing and joking on the other end, who knows? However. these are some of the stories you will hear. After she has been here a while she will claim that she is very lonely for her people and want you to take her around some of her people. You do it and that will be the beginning of your end. These people will smile in your face like a blackjack dealer at a casino. Their only reason for tolerating you is her. Later she will sneak boxes of clothes/shoes to ship out to the family back home. I found one of these "balik bayan" boxes once with 15 pairs of shoes that I had purchased without knowing. Anything that is done with the intent of deceiving you is evil.
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Re: WARNING This is your filipina wife after she lands to U.

Postby Mr Natural » Sat Jan 31, 2015 10:23 pm

newlifeinphilippines wrote: I would have to know the girl for years .... and id probably marry her abroad first and live with her there before bringing her to america .... probably hte biggest lesson of all of this marry her in their country and stay with her for awhile


Easy enough to say but not to do. There is no easy road. Majority of western guys can't make decent money in Asia for various reasons, few can just go live there for extended time. Which is what we all know should really be done. And marrying her there presents it's own problems, last I heard there is no divorce in the Phils. But at least over there she will think twice before acting up, she will know there are plenty of nubile 18 year olds happy to take her place. Not easy to get around the divorce laws over there either though.
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Re: WARNING This is your filipina wife after she lands to U.

Postby newlifeinphilippines » Sat Jan 31, 2015 11:04 pm

Mr Natural wrote:
newlifeinphilippines wrote: I would have to know the girl for years .... and id probably marry her abroad first and live with her there before bringing her to america .... probably hte biggest lesson of all of this marry her in their country and stay with her for awhile


Easy enough to say but not to do. There is no easy road. Majority of western guys can't make decent money in Asia for various reasons, few can just go live there for extended time. Which is what we all know should really be done. And marrying her there presents it's own problems, last I heard there is no divorce in the Phils. But at least over there she will think twice before acting up, she will know there are plenty of nubile 18 year olds happy to take her place. Not easy to get around the divorce laws over there either though.



well i meant marry her there then bring her to the u.s which allows divorce. but even so there is paperwork required to even marry in phil and then you have to do all that visa crap to get her to the u.s its just a huge hassle regardless. and what if she is rejected? You need a certain income to bring her to the u.s and if your self employed like me maybe it wont be enough i think its 20,000 a year for single guys. it would suck to marry a girl in a foreign country cause maybe your application gets rejected and she can't go to u.s then youll regret marrying her. also id like to have the ceremony with my parents there.


someone said this on another forum, imagine if you wanted to marry a girl but you couldn't in the u.s but didnt want to live in phil that would suck. Id like to know ahead of time if she could live in the u.s or id forget it

________
The whole process seems, at times, very arbitrary--though certainly stacked against the potential bride. I have a Pinay friend who owns a travel agency in Quezon City who married an American in Phils. (after being denied a fiancee visa) and has now been denied twice for a spousal visa, and she is a well-educated, "respectable" person.
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Re: WARNING This is your filipina wife after she lands to U.

Postby droid » Sun Feb 01, 2015 12:32 am

mr natural wrote:But at least over there she will think twice before acting up, she will know there are plenty of nubile 18 year olds happy to take her place.

Nice
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Re: WARNING This is your filipina wife after she lands to U.

Postby newlifeinphilippines » Sun Feb 01, 2015 12:41 am

droid wrote:
mr natural wrote:But at least over there she will think twice before acting up, she will know there are plenty of nubile 18 year olds happy to take her place.

Nice


but there is no divorce and they know it so they will think you will stick around no matter what.
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Re: WARNING: This is your filipina wife after she lands in U

Postby DDuana » Sun Feb 01, 2015 6:37 pm

An all too common story of foreign women coming to America and finding all the freedom. I personally have friends who got burned by bringing their foreign wives here.
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Re: WARNING: This is your filipina wife after she lands in U

Postby hammanta » Tue Feb 03, 2015 1:18 pm

DDuana wrote:An all too common story of foreign women coming to America and finding all the freedom. I personally have friends who got burned by bringing their foreign wives here.


What's the age differences? From my experience the couples who stay together are closer in age, rather than 20+ years a part. I'm not saying the latter can't work but age does make a difference. A young 25 year old girl still sees the world differently. She still has a lot of energy and wants to get out and see and do things. A 55+ year old guy doesn't have the energy he had at 25. Most 55+ year olds I know are home bodies. Not to mention that the man has matured in experience and how he views things as well.

I imagine most guys who marry Filipinas (or foreign girls) don't spend much time in person with them. They probably meet online, visit for a couple weeks or a month, then file for marriage papers. Again, this can and has worked but it also carries with it a lot of risk. You don't know the quirks about people. The ins and outs of their everyday lives. Then, what is she going to do when she gets here? She has no friends, no connections, no job. Every aspect of your life is now hers to. Plus we can't just throw all of the blame on the girl. What if the guy has a bad temper, is a real asshole, abusive, slave driver, or whatever. There are so many variables that play part that you simply can't speculate on whether a marriage will work out or not and whose fault it is.
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