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Too many awkward white boys from America have this idealized view of Japan, which resulted from watching too much anime and playing too many dumb video games. They view it as this paradise on earth where sexy schoolgirls in short skirts and uniforms will attend to your every need and their nerdy interests will be perfectly acceptable, if not applauded. Then when they go there, they quickly realize that's all baloney.
From what I have heard, from my best friend who lived there for over a year, is that it is a society very detached from normal human interaction. If you are a young foreigner and you go to a place away from the largest cities, you may make some friends and have an enjoyable time, but no matter how long you will stay you will never fully assimilate as it is the world's most homogenous country so you'll always stick out like a sore thumb.
As a traditional man I would never advocate anyone moving to a country that is so self-centered and materialistic. In many ways, countries like Japan and South-Korea are very, very similar to the West. So if it's Western Society that you have beef with, you'd be a fool to go there.
Basically, life in Japan or Korea means bringing your own entourage. So if you're on *tour*, you then get eye contact and attempts at polite interactions from locals. If you're a foreign resident, however, you're invisible.
16 years ago, the Best Picture of 1999, "American Beauty", telegraphed the message of Happier Abroad to the world.
Beware of long term engagements with AWs, you may find yourself in a coffin.
AB discussion thread
BTW, despite settling down with an AW, myself, the warning is still in effect.
I think overseas Asians adjust to life better in Asia than do some Westerners. Not all, obviously, as they are people like Taco, OutWest, Magnum, Rock, AmericaninBangkok and others, who do well here. But then you've got cases like WillNDowd and NewlifeinthePhilippines who become resentful of being in Asia and lash out at Asian culture. I think they're the types that would do better back in the States or even in Europe, rather than in Asia, in my opinion.
I dont do "better" woman wise in america, but socially i think i do or can do just as well in america. I can't believe im saying that but now that i been going to my church etc. i think if you subtract the women factor, i really wasn't any better off socially in philippines than america cause i feel alienated by asian culture and prefer to keep my distance. And i dont even have my own damn family to fall back on like I do in america.
Yep. I love america actually. I feel at home. I like traveling but I dont like living in asia in one spot and meshing with the culture. The only reason id want to live in asia is IF my parents were dead AND i would be too afraid to bring a wife to america for fear of change. If it isn't those 2 conditions together id rather just import a wife and live in america or just take yearly vacations for other reasons related to visiting churches and sightseeing, not even about women.
Can you afford to have a live-in hooker in the US?
Living in Japan since over 30 years, I cannot confirm what this man is talking, he is obviously from the US, and he cannot understand that people, daily life, legal regulations, moral values, religious feelings etc. are not like in the USA. He picks out everything which is negative by his point of view, but does not mention anything which is better in Japan compared to his native country.
You cannot have it all.
In Japan about 98 percent are Japanese native speakers, over 96 percent are pure Japanese.
This alone makes it clear, that a white foreigner, like myself, will be always considered as a foreigner, because of his looks and accent. I enjoy this, I take it easy.
However Japan never treated me badly. Since my arrival I always had full health insurance cover, never have been jobless, I also found criminality against Western foreigners to be almost zero. There is no no-go zone in all Japan.
Japanese are clean people, are never hooligans damaging public property, keeping their streets in good condition, and never will ask you for tips. Policemen are very honest, ambulance service in case of an emergency are quick and for free.
I never had any problem with Japanese immigration. Yes, I am a foreigner, but I am now a Japanese resident since many years, cleared to buy my own house including land, cleared to leave Japan and come back anytime while keeping my resident status, free of any working restrictions, reporting to authorities not necessary up to 2019, health/accident insurance for life.
I also never had any problem with my Japanese wife and my 2 daughters, at this moment when writing this comment, there is really nothing about what I could complain.
I think it's all about expectation. Some white guys have this belief that once they land in Asia they are rock stars and every Asian girls wants a white cock in them. In reality that is far from true.
Good post, but why no link?
"Well actually, she's not REALLY my daughter. But she does like to call me Daddy... at certain moments..."
Most international experiences by one person are anecdotal. How a country responds to you depends on may factors: what you look like, where you end up living, your own attitudes, the attitudes of the people around you, the time period, your job and many chancy things like luck, for example. It is never as simple as: the country is bad, I am good or, in the the victim blaming manner- Oh, it's all because you're an AH and the people around you are great.
When comparing such experiences by people on boards, you inevitably encounter such statements as " I've been in the country for decades and I never had such problems, therefore, you need to check your own attitude-- because the people are great, and it's only you that is causing the bad reaction with your behavior". This is a logical fallacy. Not everyone is as lucky. Or as successful- all through factors which are beyond his control.
For example, I spent 6 years in Saudi Arabia, and nothing happened to me. Does it invalidate, say, terrorist attacks that happened here to other people? Just recently, some Westerners were stabbed right in the city where I am living now. Also, when I was here 11 years ago, a spat of attacks happened with an ex-pat compound attacked and a massacre ensuing there- some 18 people were killed. Terrorists went inside and started slashing people's throats. Was it because of the residents' attitude?
But nothing happened to me during that time. I was going to the beach, snorkeling and eating delicious foods. But people around me were getting killed. Then, after I left, the US consulate in Jeddah was attacked, they killed the guards and went inside. Good thing people hid in the bunkers and no one suffered.
Granted, Japan has no terrorists, but the principle of " selective luck of reception" remains. The country can be dreadfully xenophobic. It's not a secret that in the past, the Japanese were taught that foreigners were devils and could not be trusted.
There are many hospitable people there, but also, lots of racists/nationalists. Some people run into those a lot, some don't. It depends on the area and your own luck. For example, when I was there in the 90's, there was no Internet yet. So, I couldn't look for an apartment online in English. My first year there was great because my university had an apartment ready for me. But the second year, I tried to look for a place on my own and no one would rent to me. Gaijin dame! - no foreigners allowed. It was bad. It was also during the time when many Bangladeshis were coming to Japan and xenophobia was at its peak. Many people - Americans in particular- were complaining. There were even signs at rental agencies- "No animals, no prostitution, no foreigners allowed". I had guarantors and friends in the area who looked for a place for me. All the landlords went "gaijin dame".
But, with other people, it never happened. I remember there were guys who immediately found places, who were never discriminated against, who spent decades in Japan and loved it. And many were arrogant and obnoxious, too. They were telling me about how nice their landlords were. And these could not even speak Japanese, but they were well received. I guess the area where I was was really bad and I was very unlucky.
Here in Saudi, I think the people are lovely- very happy, modest, polite and hospitable. But other people who worked with Saudis had a different experience. I am not quick on passing the blame. Luck plays a big role.
Also, one needs to be soberly aware of different sociological realities which stare you in the face. People do have the tribal instinct. If you don't look or talk like them, you are not one of them. You just have to accept it as a social reality. But it only becomes a problem if you are denied basic rights such as to earn a living, housing and mating needs. In some cases, being different becomes an advantage, in some, it doesn't. It really depends where you are, in what situation, etc.
In the US, an Anglo Saxon looking or sounding person is generally well accepted into the mainstream. Say, an Aussie feels very happy in the US. But your social acceptance as an American becomes less and less depending on how much less of an Anglo Saxon you look and talk. It may or may not be an advantage or a disadvantage. This is why many Asian men complain about the US and how they are viewed as ' foreigners' and have less luck in mating. The same goes for Indians ( from India). Born in the US, but still not treated as an American. Girls rarely want to date him. But this is not the case with a cute Asian girl- these are hit on like by a bunch of angry piranhas. So, before one talks about attitudes and putting the blame on the victim, one needs to be realistic and conscious of the social and demographic dynamics of the society around one.
A brain is a terrible thing to wash!
Western countries, Caribbean, Central America and the Philippines are the most welcoming.
Tom Green basically ruined any respect Japanese had for foreigners.
“Every time a President leaves the White House after two terms, there is a recession within the next year"
So many wrong things on here. I have actually at least been to Japan and not just base them off a few white peoples anecdotal evidence or some youtube videos.
Here is to set it straight.
1. If you are a loudmouth idiot American then yes the Japanese in general probably won't like you.
2. Anime is made by the Japanese and many look at it including even women. Same goes with their games. If you like those things then it at least means you think on some levels similar to them.
(But keep in mind there is a type of white person out there called "Wapanese" these people are a type you will find of white people who try to be Japanese in the most pathetic and moronic way. They don't actually understand Japanese people or culture but generally are low IQ fools who do things like use Japanese words in English sentences like "You are so Baka bro" and stuff like that.
These idiots certainly for obvious reasons are disliked by most Japanese and in fact by even most white people in their home country.)
3. Japan and S.Korea are not "Basically the same". About the only similarity is that S.Korea after a while emulated the Japanese industries and created their own similar ones which have created good brands.
But other than that they are different countries. S.Korea is a little white washed since of course since WW2 it was split up and the south was controlled by Americans and the North by the Russians. What you have left is a white washed sort of American worshiping society in S.Korea.
4. Go actually visit Japan to see for yourself if you want to know how it really is instead of reading stupid articles etc.
You will find in general in Japan the people are more friendly but quiet. I personally found them more approachable that white people to be honest.
We had some exchange students come over from Japan to our school in Australia and I also found them easy going and friendly people. They are just sort of quiet and think to themselves a bit more than being a loudmouth.
Leaving aside the second part of your post, about tribalism, which is of course real, this first section of your post eerily reminded me of Winston's earlier posts about geographic astrology. Maybe there ARE better countries based on forces outside ourselves.
I have had no problems in Mexico, for example. But you can find all kinds of horrific accounts online.
Even in San Miguel de Allende, a gringo colony with its own special police force, has apparently experienced "express kidnappings", if gringos online are to be believed. Yet where I live I am the only Gringo around, and have no problems whatsoever.
"Well actually, she's not REALLY my daughter. But she does like to call me Daddy... at certain moments..."
But even if you are not, many people will not like you because they are already prejudiced against your race, nationality, etc. even if you are nor loud mouthed. While the above statement is true in most cases- although young Japanese people enjoy being with loud mouthed clowns- it dismisses the great factor or pre-judice.
In the most hackneyed comparison, black people ( usually men) are still stereotyped in some circles as being violent, swaggering, confrontational loud mouthed, and not very bright.
The assumption is there before you even let other people know about what type of person you are. They already think that about you and walk to the other side of the road. While admittedly some black people are like that- among the lower classes, there are also extremely polite and smart people among them who are a pleasure to be around.
I was in Japan in July last year. Visiting it was great. Living there was a whole different matter. Also, to know what people are thinking there you need to speak/understand Japanese as they are very reserved and secretive. I do.
I am sure America is a great place to visit, as well. Living in America is a different thing altogether.
Exchange students from Japan do not represent traditional Japanese attitudes. Most Japanese do not like to go abroad. Think how different a rural Appalachian white would be from say, a multilingual urban city dweller who travels the world. That is how different a Japanese Japanese is from a traveling Japanese.
I also loved Japan until I had to go and live there. Same with Thailand.
In Japan, at least in the 1990s, 98 percent of landlords would not rent to non Japanese no matter if they spoke Japanese or not. I felt like I was a black person in the US in the 1930ies when I was looking for an apartment there. I even went to a newspaper to publish an article about that, and they told me that "well, Americans are scary". Again, they said so in Japanese. I understood.
This is all very well documented
To give credit where credit is due, there are also many great people there and many friendly Japanese, but this is balanced by lots of racists, too.
In a lot of these Asian countries, it's hard to know what is going on until you learn the language- which some people there do not like. The filtered information you get in English and from people who work with foreigners in English and people who span both cultures- such as exchange students or emigrants- gives you only some 10% of the picture of the reality there.
Most Asian racism becomes less intense if you have more money and high position in society- and speak only English with a small internationally minded stratum of population there.
A brain is a terrible thing to wash!