That seems to come up quite a bit in the Japanese context. People who have been there for 5, 10 or more years say the problem with learning the language is that you actually get to know what is really going on and it isn't pleasant.gnosis wrote:
* "Oh, you must not have studied the language/culture enough" (No, just the opposite, the problem is the more I studied the language/culture, the more I realized how shabbily I was being treated)
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I have a very close friend who studied Japanese language and culture. He lived in Japan for a while, studied there, had his internship there. He had a fabulous time, socialized a lot, had a lot of attention from girls too. But upon coming home, he decided it was not the place to be for him. There was too much hidden pain. Alcoholism, depression, very high suicide rates and very low birth rates... the statistics don't lie, Japan is NOT a happy place. There is a reason a lot of Japanese people these days are pessimistic about life to the point that they no longer feel compelled to have children, marry or even date anyone.
Cost of living is very high, there is a lot of pressure on Japanese people to succeed in life financially, socially, it is just too much for many young people to take. I am surprised not more Japanese people simply pack up their things and go.
In reality Asia is not this heaven as people paint. Look at the Philippines. I never been there but from reading objectively the country is the mess. Poverty with lots of corruption along with pollution. I heard the crime rate is high to. South Korea and Japan are similar . They work you to your bones . Lots of competition. You have to fit in . When it comes to personally happiness it takes a back seat to the group harmony. Asian culture is very different compared to the west. The biggest reason why western guys go to Asia is only for the girls but after awhile that plays out for some expats.
There is no heaven on earth. Every place has pluses and minuses. Petty theft and burglary are rare in Korea, and Korea has great infrastructure plus an amazing national healthcare system. But there is lots of white collar crime and many Koreans really have a thing against white men. (Seoul is the place white men are least likely to have problems. If you want to go to Korea and you are white -- go to Seoul. It's the most cosmopolitan place in Korea.)
To me, the most important thing is the social environment, not girls. At first I thought girls were the most important. And I did have lots of great girls. But now, I realize, if a place is going to work for me long-term, the social environment has to be tolerable.
It is like Ladislav said, you don't just marry a girl, you marry a country and a culture. You have to be able to tolerate the culture, or you are just going to be miserable long-term. Everybody has different buttons. There are some things that bother some more than others.
One of my buttons is people being rude to my face. I don't take it well in any country. I treat everyone I meet with a modicum of respect, and I expect the same. If some guy starts giving me crap, I'm going to get angry. I don't care if he's white or black or Korean. I won't put up with it.
But other people may have different buttons. Some people really can't stand pollution. That is a thing for them. Me, on the other hand, pollution doesn't bother me that much.
The bottom line is you have to go to different places and see what you like. Get to know the culture, the language, and the social environment before you marry anybody.
(Surprise Traveler didn't say anything negative about Korea since he has allot of bitterness about the country.)Almost a good portion of the Korean population lives in Seoul. So it's like South Korea is Seoul.
I can say the same about USA . I never been with a white girl. I have good number of Asian male friends who never been with a white girl. Now this doesn't mean I'm entitled to a white women but because of racial stereotypes it does make it allot harder. I can say that in USA they don't like Asian men. Now I don't have to deal with the black male stereotype of being violent but I am stereotyped in the USA as being meek, small dick and less masculine. Believe it or not word get back to Asia about this but the Asian guys back in Asia see themselves as the alpha male where as I think the Asian American guys have this internalize racism that makes them insecure . I think sometimes guys just see their pain or issues and can't see the other side. I know I'm guilty of that too.
I can make an argument because of white privilege as a white men global you be treated allot better than any color guy and even in Asia you will do better. I mean as an Asian guy if I go to Russia I'm afraid some Russian skin head will crack my skull plus I hear that Russian girls prefer tall big stocky guys. I can understand why color guys will want to go happier abroad but sometimes I scratch my head with white guys. Back in the USA as a majority and being the standard you have less issues to deal with compared to a color person.
who gives a shit if society accepts you or not. The main consideration you should make in deciding which country to expat to is, is prostitution legal there and easy to access? If so, then next ask yourself how will you make money living there, either online or through some local job or business. Once that question is answered, then go there, make money, and pound bitches' pussies!!!!
I liked the Philippines. Sure, it got its downsides, but there are really nice parts of the country, too. I liked Subic Bay, and I've heard good things about Cebu. Asia doesn't have the crime, the racial problems and the police brutality of the United States, or the mass illegal immigrant problem of Europe.
Why the negativity, Chanta? I love my life in this part of this world.
Asia > Anglo world.
How much of the world do you have left to monger? Did you circle the world yet?
A good man is above pettiness. He is better than that.
I'm still stuck in the USA. If you every visit NYC I tell you about . Actually I think the western influence is happening slowly throughout the world. Ever time I visit South Korea I can't believe the changes that happens but more towards American influences .
The statistics don't lie?
Well, I think you have never been in Japan. Of course, Japan has also its problems, but you are painting out a picture of Japan which is highly exaggerated.
Japan is not for everybody, same is true with other countries, you could say the same about Europe or USA or China etc. Some foreigners like I myself stay, others are moving on to elsewhere. It depends on the individual.
I am living here since 1976, I am not suicidal, it is possible in Japan either to work hard and to earn good money or to work only some part-time and still have enough for a basic life - Japanese people have a choice. For sure it's a better life in Japan than in many other Asian countries nearby. Japan offers also an excellent health insurance system, one of the best worldwide - and this is not the case in most Asian countries.
About suicide rate, Japan is better off than South Korea, but also better than Russia, India and Hungary, according to Wikipedia, it's rank 16.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_c ... icide_rate
Very low birthrates? Japan is not the lowest one worldwide and anyway overpopulated.
Japan is a country smaller than California, but has over 127 million people. Too many...
Low birthrates are almost everywhere present in Europe. Greece, Poland, Spain and Germany/Austria are about on the same level as Japan.
In Asia South Korea, HongKong and Singapore show up with lower birthrates than Japan.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_s ... ility_rate
Alcoholism? Japan is somewhere in the middle, by far not at the top. Most citizens of European countries, but also citizens of many African countries and USA and Russia are consuming much more alcohol per person than the Japanese.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_c ... per_capita
You say, cost of living is high in Japan, this is true in case of higher education and rent/buying your own house in the cities. However how is this different with fees in universities in USA or with prices for properties in UK in London?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_m ... _employees
http://list25.com/25-most-expensive-cit ... live-in/5/
Other cities worldwide are expensive too, for example cities in Norway, Sweden, France, Switzerland, but also Hong Kong, even cities in Africa due to imports. Australia is also mentioned as expensive. etc. etc.
About 'hidden pain', if this is the case in Japan, it is the case in other countries too, USA has its racist BS-problems and a huge prison population, Philippines is said to be the place of up to 2 million street-children - I can continue this list with people who have nothing to eat and living in a war zone somewhere in Africa etc. etc.
If a 'white guy' hates how he is treated in Japan, he should maybe start to think about himself a little bit too and to compare his life with the life of many others worldwide who are not living in Japan. There are white guys living in Japan since decades who see no problem at all.
Asian countries are quite different from each other, but I agree, Asia is not a heaven.
To compare them is not so easy, it's relative. Opinions are divided
What I write here is just my opinion, my personal impression, but others might disagree with me.
I would say, in South Korea life is more difficult than in Japan.
About Philippines, let me say, Bangladesh is by far worse.
Better in Thailand than in Vietnam.
Better in Malaysia than in Indonesia...
Better in China than in Pakistan etc. etc.