What would you guys do if you had kids?

[MarcosZeitola]

My Filipina wife and I have one child, a daughter. We intend to have more in the near future. There have been times were she would ask me if we could live "abroad", abroad being the West from her perspective. I told her I would rather raise my children in Asia. She asked me why, and I told her of my concerns for their future. My daughter plays with puppies and sniffs flowers outside, she grows up surrounded by nature and breathing fresh mountain air... I would be a horrible man to condemn her to living in a heavily polluted, toxic concrete prison during her formative years. My wife agreed; our daughter is much better off living a healthy and honest life in the Philippines, even if it means less income and even if it still is (and likely always will be) a third world country.

If you want to have kids, have kids. If you don't, look into the reasons why. If the main reason is that you worry for their well-being, then this means you are already a good father. It means you have great potential. Chances are, you'd be a better father then 90% of fathers nowadays. So, OP, you having children would probably work out fine. Either way, pro or con have to be weighed and decisions made. Your wife and you do not have eternal life or health, and if having children is a great wish for her and you rather not, you cannot hold her biological clock hostage by your indecisiveness.

Good luck, and hopefully you will figure out what is right. I'm sure you would make a great father. I can tell you from my personal experience that it is by far the most powerful thing I have ever been a part of, fatherhood. A very beautiful, strong and primal experience. It is not for all, but for the love of life, don't let your own bad childhood deny you of a family. When in fact my grandfather and father, who had horrible childhoods, used it as a motivation to become even better parents.

[Moretorque]

My Filipina wife and I have one child, a daughter. We intend to have more in the near future. There have been times were she would ask me if we could live "abroad", abroad being the West from her perspective. I told her I would rather raise my children in Asia. She asked me why, and I told her of my concerns for their future. My daughter plays with puppies and sniffs flowers outside, she grows up surrounded by nature and breathing fresh mountain air... I would be a horrible man to condemn her to living in a heavily polluted, toxic concrete prison during her formative years. My wife agreed; our daughter is much better off living a healthy and honest life in the Philippines, even if it means less income and even if it still is (and likely always will be) a third world country.

If you want to have kids, have kids. If you don't, look into the reasons why. If the main reason is that you worry for their well-being, then this means you are already a good father. It means you have great potential. Chances are, you'd be a better father then 90% of fathers nowadays. So, OP, you having children would probably work out fine. Either way, pro or con have to be weighed and decisions made. Your wife and you do not have eternal life or health, and if having children is a great wish for her and you rather not, you cannot hold her biological clock hostage by your indecisiveness.

Good luck, and hopefully you will figure out what is right. I'm sure you would make a great father. I can tell you from my personal experience that it is by far the most powerful thing I have ever been a part of, fatherhood. A very beautiful, strong and primal experience. It is not for all, but for the love of life, don't let your own bad childhood deny you of a family. When in fact my grandfather and father, who had horrible childhoods, used it as a motivation to become even better parents.

Judging by some of your post's you will be using the " be fruitful and multiply " bible quote as a christian excuse to breed like a cockroach.

[Moretorque]

Re the OP,

things will work out if you and your wife just love them, and don't try to push them.

FSchmidt's approach, homeschooling with no TV, eliminates toxic peer culture.

Homeschoolers, Waldorf schoolers and Un-schoolers have various networks, your kids will find sane friends there, and you will find like-minded parents.

I don't want to sound paranoid but I believe that today, homeschooling is imperative. The America we grew up in, only a couple of decades ago, is gone.

If Mel and I decide to start a family, we'll be looking at splitting our kid's time between American homeschooling activities and then, spending time in Brazil, with some of my friends there.

The idea here, is the create a child, who was born in the early 80s vs a child of today.

The 80's are over with, scientist are saying time ran out in the 80's to stop the current mass extinction and because our rulers are not talking about this current extinction to any degree in the mainstream media I believe
they have plans to 86 a good several billion of us or so coming up if they can pull it off so for people who are considering bringing children here you need to really weigh it out.

[MarcosZeitola]

Judging by some of your post's you will be using the " be fruitful and multiply " bible quote as a christian excuse to breed like a cockroach.

How is wanting to have a larger then average family "breeding like a cockroach"?

The OP of this thread was asking for advice on what to do, as he was uncertain whether or not he wishes to have children, whereas his wife wants to have them very much. He said that worries about the future of his children, especially growing up in America, were among his primary reasons to be uncertain. I answered that question in my post, and said having children is a pretty lovely experience. Nowhere did I advocate him to, in your words, "breed like a cockroach" and have a large family; just one would already be a wonderful thing to have. Right now all I have is one daughter, hardly a Duggar style clan is it?

[Moretorque]

Judging by some of your post's you will be using the " be fruitful and multiply " bible quote as a christian excuse to breed like a cockroach.

How is wanting to have a larger then average family "breeding like a cockroach"?

The OP of this thread was asking for advice on what to do, as he was uncertain whether or not he wishes to have children, whereas his wife wants to have them very much. He said that worries about the future of his children, especially growing up in America, were among his primary reasons to be uncertain. I answered that question in my post, and said having children is a pretty lovely experience. Nowhere did I advocate him to, in your words, "breed like a cockroach" and have a large family; just one would already be a wonderful thing to have. Right now all I have is one daughter, hardly a Duggar style clan is it?

Ah burn in hell sinner!

[MarcosZeitola]

Judging by some of your post's you will be using the " be fruitful and multiply " bible quote as a christian excuse to breed like a cockroach.

How is wanting to have a larger then average family "breeding like a cockroach"?

The OP of this thread was asking for advice on what to do, as he was uncertain whether or not he wishes to have children, whereas his wife wants to have them very much. He said that worries about the future of his children, especially growing up in America, were among his primary reasons to be uncertain. I answered that question in my post, and said having children is a pretty lovely experience. Nowhere did I advocate him to, in your words, "breed like a cockroach" and have a large family; just one would already be a wonderful thing to have. Right now all I have is one daughter, hardly a Duggar style clan is it?

Ah burn in hell sinner!

Are you even being serious or have you given up and are you just outright trolling now? Call me optimistic if you will, but I was expecting a little more of you. You're disappointing me, man.

[S_Parc]

The idea here, is the create a child, who was born in the early 80s vs a child of today.

So you're going to use the DeLorean?

I guess in this situation, the expression, "Go Big or Go Home" applies.

When I was growing up, despite the fact that I was living in a Jerry Springer household, the world around me was basically *all right*, the US Olympic hockey team had just recently won their 'Miracle On Ice' moment against the Soviets, the Boston Celtics were regularly contending for championships, and despite the level of pollution which was inherited from the 50s to the 70s, there was a huge effort to clean up our streams and harbors. Likewise, I could leave home, go to the public library and converse with someone there about Charles Dickens, the Boston Tea Party, World War II, etc. Ppl, in general, knew other ppl and believe it or not, you could actually go out for a cheesesteak and meet ppl from nearby towns and perhaps, later meet up with them for a baseball game.

Today, it's almost the opposite of the above, many ppl are hooked on their mobile devices, only interacting by texting. The ppl who're still able to interact with others, in the kinds of settings I'm talking about are all ages 35 and above. The kids from 15 to 25 are practically drones or tatooed to the hilt and border on douchebaggery. The more proper preppy/college bound crowd don't know a single person outside of their respective schools. Many of my friends' kids don't even know how to have a conversation with a grownup. Imagine what'll happen when all of those mobile devices are expert systems enabled? Basically ppl will only interact with their personal digital assistants (PDAs) and then, those PDAs will communicate with other ppl's PDA. Basically, our entire society will go catatonic.

With that stated, I believe that kids today in America, need to be separated from the junior high to high school culture which is a dystopia. They need to do this split frame where yes, a certain percent of time is in the US, knowing how to be a sales-y or sporty type but at the same time, a second life in let's say Latin America, where that America of the 70s/80s still exists to some extent. The idea is to be able to navigate between the mores of differing societies then to be immersed/blanketed by a system which sees them as a number.

[Moretorque]

Judging by some of your post's you will be using the " be fruitful and multiply " bible quote as a christian excuse to breed like a cockroach.

How is wanting to have a larger then average family "breeding like a cockroach"?

The OP of this thread was asking for advice on what to do, as he was uncertain whether or not he wishes to have children, whereas his wife wants to have them very much. He said that worries about the future of his children, especially growing up in America, were among his primary reasons to be uncertain. I answered that question in my post, and said having children is a pretty lovely experience. Nowhere did I advocate him to, in your words, "breed like a cockroach" and have a large family; just one would already be a wonderful thing to have. Right now all I have is one daughter, hardly a Duggar style clan is it?

Ah burn in hell sinner!

Are you even being serious or have you given up and are you just outright trolling now? Call me optimistic if you will, but I was expecting a little more of you. You're disappointing me, man.

I love pulling on quote unquote Christians chains just because, you only have one child so you are right you don't qualify for any breed of cockroach. The thing and reason I like messing with the Christers is because they do not understand the bible at all and it was written to comfort mans childish intellect. I would not be so cocky if I had not solved the riddle of it and I am fairly sure I have.

All I am going to tell you is when or if your women has given birth to your male child that is immortality in a very obvious sense and all that was made was made thru ????? The Father the Son and the Holy Spirit GET IT!!!

[Moretorque]

The idea here, is the create a child, who was born in the early 80s vs a child of today.

So you're going to use the DeLorean?

I guess in this situation, the expression, "Go Big or Go Home" applies.

When I was growing up, despite the fact that I was living in a Jerry Springer household, the world around me was basically *all right*, the US Olympic hockey team had just recently won their 'Miracle On Ice' moment against the Soviets, the Boston Celtics were regularly contending for championships, and despite the level of pollution which was inherited from the 50s to the 70s, there was a huge effort to clean up our streams and harbors. Likewise, I could leave home, go to the public library and converse with someone there about Charles Dickens, the Boston Tea Party, World War II, etc. Ppl, in general, knew other ppl and believe it or not, you could actually go out for a cheesesteak and meet ppl from nearby towns and perhaps, later meet up with them for a baseball game.

Today, it's almost the opposite of the above, many ppl are hooked on their mobile devices, only interacting by texting. The ppl who're still able to interact with others, in the kinds of settings I'm talking about are all ages 35 and above. The kids from 15 to 25 are practically drones or tatooed to the hilt and border on douchebaggery. The more proper preppy/college bound crowd don't know a single person outside of their respective schools. Many of my friends' kids don't even know how to have a conversation with a grownup. Imagine what'll happen when all of those mobile devices are expert systems enabled? Basically ppl will only interact with their personal digital assistants (PDAs) and then, those PDAs will communicate with other ppl's PDA. Basically, our entire society will go catatonic.

With that stated, I believe that kids today in America, need to be separated from the junior high to high school culture which is a dystopia. They need to do this split frame where yes, a certain percent of time is in the US, knowing how to be a sales-y or sporty type but at the same time, a second life in let's say Latin America, where that America of the 70s/80s still exists to some extent. The idea is to be able to navigate between the mores of differing societies then to be immersed/blanketed by a system which sees them as a number.

They are hoping they can get this generation to worship the state as drones and this is real dangerous, the destruction of the family is key in this. I live in a college town and the drone plan is working, keep the parent's nose's to the grinder with debt then hijack the youth for world domination.

It's kinda like the old Star Trek episode " And the Children Shall Lead ". Hitler I believe said "give me your youth" and the indoctrination seems to be about that.

[MrMan]

To Chanta76,

I'm in the US right now, and I have kids, a boy and a few girls. My wife is from Indonesia. We may go live in Asia later this year, depending on whether I get a job there or not and some other factors.

You were treated badly for being Asian growing up? Maybe you can live in a city in the US with lots of Asians. Are there any communities like this in California? If you've ever spent any time in Honolulu, white is the minority. Everything is the minority. Mixed race is the biggest minority, with a lot of people being mixed with Filippino, white, Portuguese (it's own category there), local Hawaiian, Polynesian, or whatever. And lots of 100% of just about everything but Hawaiian. There are lots of Japanese there and Chinese as well. Asian kids aren't unusual here.

The women aren't particularly feminine or as pretty as in some other places, IMO. Lot's of tough chicks with tattoos if you get out of the tourist areas, at least among mixed and Polynesians.

Are any cities in California very much Asian?

[S_Parc]

Maybe you can live in a city in the US with lots of Asians. Are there any communities like this in California? If you've ever spent any time in Honolulu, white is the minority. Everything is the minority.

In America, the notion of being Hawaiian, is considered a subnationality. This is somewhat akin, though not exactly, to the Cajuns or Creoles on the Bayou of Louisiana.

And for caucasians, the Pennsylvania Dutch are almost a subnationality but are rapidly fading, as many have left farming for work in the cities.

Now, there are these fake enclaves, like the Buffaloians of upstate NY, who're die hard Bills fans, but for the most part, they're just mainstreamers who'd never left their hometown. So being 'white' and insular, doesn't make a person an outsider from the mainstream perspective.

Long story short, in mainstream America, Asian-American kids, esp boys, are seen more as the children of ex-pats, than as American teenagers. And a lot of the issues which arise, come from this persistent outsider status. Unfortunately, the difficulty is that parents never prepped their kids for these identity issues.

[Moretorque]

That is a shame because people can learn a lot from Asians.