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Asian Women and White Men

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Re: Asian Women and White Men

Postby Cornfed » Tue Feb 24, 2015 4:57 am

MarcosZeitola wrote:An interesting interview a while back, from one of his fathers friends in the movie business, details how the man tried to help him in vain:

http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-28197785

"[i]It seemed like he would perceive cruelness or hatefulness when in fact, I suspected, he was just being ignored.

I remember giving him an assignment once so he could try to establish some kind of dynamic with a woman.

I told him, "When you see a woman next time you're on campus and you like her hair or sunglasses, just pay her a compliment."

I told him, "It's a freebie, something in passing, you're not trying to make conversation. Keep walking, don't make any long eye contact, just give the free compliment." The idea being you might make a friend if you make someone feel good.

I said to Elliot, "In the next few weeks - if you see them they'll likely give you a smile - and you can smile back and eventually turn this into chit-chat."

These people just don’t have a clue about the nature of Western sluts. It is not surprising that Elliot ran amok if this is the sort of bullshit told to him by older men.

I got in touch with him a few weeks later and asked if he did it. He said "no". And when asked why not, he said "Why do I have to compliment them? Why don't they compliment me?"

Good question. Why didn't they?
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Re: Asian Women and White Men

Postby MarcosZeitola » Tue Feb 24, 2015 9:46 am

Cornfed wrote:Good question. Why didn't they?


Because that's not how the world works, and sometimes, however unfair it may be, it's sink or swim.
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Re: Asian Women and White Men

Postby MarcosZeitola » Tue Feb 24, 2015 10:15 am

S_Parc wrote:The thing is that Marcos did not actually grow up in America, which is hell on earth for heterosexual guys who're not investment bankers, professional athletes, criminals, etc. The best place to get gals in America is through the drug culture, something I'd avoided at all costs.


And yet there are guys who are not professional athletes, criminals, bankers or celebrities who still manage to date, sleep around, even get into committed long-term relationships and get married. A relative and good friend of mine went to Los Angeles to study, and almost instantly hit it off with an American girl - they've been dating for almost two years now and seem very happy, talking about marriage. I met her in person and found her to be somewhat... dull, to my personal taste. But she is friendly, very pretty and seems to deeply care for him. Now my cousin is not some sort of super model, he is not wealthy by any means, just a poor student. But getting a girl in America was, by his account, very easy.

Of course I am not an American, and I have never lived in America or even in the Anglosphere as a whole, but still... sometimes I feel people paint a picture of American women that is a little too bleak. Many of them may be materialistic c**ts, but if they were all as bad as you say they are there would hardly be anyone getting married nowadays, and that doesn't appear to be happening. There is a high percentage of divorce, and there are many broken homes, but before a home is broken it has to first be established, and that still happens.

That being said, S_Parc, I am sure you and Mel will make wonderful parents and the chance of you guys raising an Elliot Rodger-esque son are next to zero. I don't always get you... or your perspective, but that is because I am not an American. You know how to navigate that world now, and I'm sure you will thrive in it one way or another.
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Re: Asian Women and White Men

Postby romparoo » Tue Feb 24, 2015 12:09 pm

Cornfed wrote:Good question. Why didn't they?


No, they probably did. Women compliment men, though not as often. When the woman who dropped compliment is considered out of one's league, some guys just have a selective memory loss.
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Re: Asian Women and White Men

Postby S_Parc » Tue Feb 24, 2015 3:16 pm

MarcosZeitola wrote:Many of them may be materialistic c**ts, but if they were all as bad as you say they are there would hardly be anyone getting married nowadays, and that doesn't appear to be happening. There is a high percentage of divorce, and there are many broken homes, but before a home is broken it has to first be established, and that still happens.

That being said, S_Parc, I am sure you and Mel will make wonderful parents and the chance of you guys raising an Elliot Rodger-esque son are next to zero. I don't always get you... or your perspective, but that is because I am not an American. You know how to navigate that world now, and I'm sure you will thrive in it one way or another.


On some level Marcos, you're blaming American men for their lack of success with AWs. Yes, it's a bit subtle but that's what you're doing.

What you seem to fail to comprehend is that Mel was born a lesbian. If she were born straight, we would have simply gotten married by graduation and I wouldn't be on this forum. You wouldn't have heard of me in that alternate "Outer Limits" reality. Ask yourself this fundamental question ... why would Mel give up on women, to be with me? Sure, I'm rather egotistical and self-centered (and love to pat myself on the back) calling myself the best thing since sliced bread, but the truth of the matter is that she's both free and happy with me. In contrast, women have failed her. She has zero faith or trust in them. From her perspective, I'm 110% the opposite of women.

Nowadays, we do not go out on double dates with ppl in our age bracket. They're pretty much jealous of us and feel really glum when they discover that we'd known each other, for over a decade and half. These dysfunctional (or soon-to-be) couples cannot stand being around happy ppl. All it does is accentuate their lameness. Today, we spend time with couples, a decade or more, older than us. Those folks have already worked out their issues, ages ago.

And then, if we were to have let's say a son, I would be forced to tell him that he may never find a woman, as great as his mother. Yes, that's the sad truth. I recall a female friend of mine, who had the best American parents of all time. Her parents met back in the 60s and lived a near perfect life. I'd run into them once and they seemed happy and natural to me. Well, my friend ended up divorced with an abusive ex-husband. She was always disappointed with the fact that the ideal life that her parents had, was never going to be hers.

So basically, I'd won the lottery but unlike you, I'm not badgering others, for not having gotten those 6 digits correct. I realize that I'm in a one in a million situation, esp for America, and I leave it at that. My only hope is that ppl either find what they need stateside on their own (modified MGTOW) or if they're lucky, able to travel and find a decent partner in Latin America, eastern Europe, or Asia-Pacific.
16 years ago, the Best Picture of 1999, "American Beauty", telegraphed the message of Happier Abroad to the world.

Beware of long term engagements with AWs, you may find yourself in a coffin.

AB discussion thread

BTW, despite settling down with an AW, myself, the warning is still in effect.
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Re: Asian Women and White Men

Postby droid » Tue Feb 24, 2015 8:40 pm

MarcosZeitola wrote:And yet there are guys who are not professional athletes, criminals, bankers or celebrities who still manage to date, sleep around, even get into committed long-term relationships and get married. A relative and good friend of mine went to Los Angeles to study, and almost instantly hit it off with an American girl - they've been dating for almost two years now and seem very happy, talking about marriage. I met her in person and found her to be somewhat... dull, to my personal taste. But she is friendly, very pretty and seems to deeply care for him. Now my cousin is not some sort of super model, he is not wealthy by any means, just a poor student. But getting a girl in America was, by his account, very easy.
Now you just want to "be right" Marcos and keep implying those that can't find it in the states are necessarily losers. So everyone on the other posts -even the website- are wrong? Of course there are great American girls but every day they're more of a rare commodity, that's the whole point. I know you're from Holland, not USA, but why did you marry a philli girl in the first place? I might be wrong but was it just incidental?
1)Too much of one thing defeats the purpose.
2)Everybody is full of it. What's your hypocrisy?
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Re: Asian Women and White Men

Postby S_Parc » Tue Feb 24, 2015 9:02 pm

droid wrote:
MarcosZeitola wrote:And yet there are guys who are not professional athletes, criminals, bankers or celebrities who still manage to date, sleep around, even get into committed long-term relationships and get married. A relative and good friend of mine went to Los Angeles to study, and almost instantly hit it off with an American girl - they've been dating for almost two years now and seem very happy, talking about marriage. I met her in person and found her to be somewhat... dull, to my personal taste. But she is friendly, very pretty and seems to deeply care for him. Now my cousin is not some sort of super model, he is not wealthy by any means, just a poor student. But getting a girl in America was, by his account, very easy.


Now you just want to "be right" Marcos and keep implying those that can't find it in the states are necessarily losers. So everyone on the other posts -even the website- are wrong? Of course there are great American girls but every day they're more of a rare commodity, that's the whole point. I know you're from Holland, not USA, but why did you marry a philli girl in the first place? I might be wrong but was it just incidental?


My theory is that Marcos is on a power trip.

For the life of me, I can't understand how a happily married man, would want to get on the net, and badger single men for not dating.

When I'd started on this forum 4 years ago, I'd recently broken up with a Brazilian and was having regular fights with my dad and my sister. Back then, I was very vitriolic in my posts, esp against WomensView, who was a standard douchebag lover but then decided to find a beta. Yes, 4 years ago, I was a rage-a-holic.

Since my life started turning around, and then of course reuniting with my GF, who's now the love of my life, I've pretty much lost interest in getting on a forum where ppl b*tch about life all of the time, because my life is essentially happy.

And that's what's got me wondering about Marcos ... why isn't he calming down and becoming more 'settled'? Instead, he's self-righteous, haughty, in ppl's face, and all that jazz. That doesn't sound like a man in love; that sounds more like some control freak who's now planted his flag in Asia-Pacific and has become his own version of Marlon Brando's Colonel Kurtz from 'Apocalypse Now'.
16 years ago, the Best Picture of 1999, "American Beauty", telegraphed the message of Happier Abroad to the world.

Beware of long term engagements with AWs, you may find yourself in a coffin.

AB discussion thread

BTW, despite settling down with an AW, myself, the warning is still in effect.
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Re: Asian Women and White Men

Postby Signet » Tue Feb 24, 2015 9:54 pm

Cornfed wrote:
I got in touch with him a few weeks later and asked if he did it. He said "no". And when asked why not, he said "Why do I have to compliment them? Why don't they compliment me?"

Good question. Why didn't they?


To put it bluntly and crudely, my guess would be because they weren't the ones who were desperate to have his dick in them. As narcissistic as never complimenting anyone else might be by default, they aren't the ones who snapped and went on a rampage because Elliot Rodger wouldn't have sex with them. People who are desperate for something would, and SHOULD, put more effort and proactivity into obtaining it than those who don't really care. Do you think you or some lost hiker who was in the desert for two days is more desperate for that bottle of water on the shelf? Do you think the dehydrated hiker will stand by that water bottle waiting for it to open itself and pour itself into his mouth? Nobody would have an ounce of pity for him if he did.

MarcosZeitola wrote:And yet there are guys who are not professional athletes, criminals, bankers or celebrities who still manage to date, sleep around, even get into committed long-term relationships and get married. A relative and good friend of mine went to Los Angeles to study, and almost instantly hit it off with an American girl - they've been dating for almost two years now and seem very happy, talking about marriage. I met her in person and found her to be somewhat... dull, to my personal taste. But she is friendly, very pretty and seems to deeply care for him. Now my cousin is not some sort of super model, he is not wealthy by any means, just a poor student. But getting a girl in America was, by his account, very easy.


I think you're conflating trying to find a girlfriend with just wanting to have sex, which are completely different issues in this case. If we're off of the Elliot Rodger subject (he was never looking for a gf, he was looking to validate himself), nobody who's not an idiot would suggest that there are zero good American women anywhere. There are good AWs in the WORST CITIES in the U.S., guaranteed. People's issues are with finding them, having protracted passive-aggressive (or literally aggressive) battles of attrition with the 30 other dudes orbiting her for her affections, navigating the now nearly institutionalized 'dating game' ("how many days should I wait before calling her so as to not seem desperate, but not seem like I don't care?"), and keeping her in a society that wants to convince her that she can't do anything wrong, that she should be blissfully happy every minute of her life, and that she'd be downright settling if she got with Ryan Gosling.

Furthermore, I'm assuming that your cousin is also a foreigner. Does he have an audible accent (different from L.A.?)? If you do, you have an automatic in. Women are seemingly taught to assume any guy they don't know is a creep unless he's super attractive or just very charismatic, until proven wrong by getting to know him (or being introduced by trusted friends/acquaintances). If you have a foreign accent, part of the 'know him' phase is already over, because they can assume a pre-existing set of stereotypes, and automatically assume you are interesting by default. Almost any accent will do, not just the classically desirable ones (Queen's English, Australian). I can fake a pretty good southern Irish accent (at least to people who aren't from there, haha), and my interest levels go WAY up from idle conversations. I didn't suddenly become more attractive or more charismatic. Obviously it doesn't guarantee anything will happen, but if your cousin had spoken like the average Californian, his results may have been different.

Honestly though, I'm not sure what your point was in saying this.
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Re: Asian Women and White Men

Postby MarcosZeitola » Tue Feb 24, 2015 10:19 pm

droid wrote:Now you just want to "be right" Marcos and keep implying those that can't find it in the states are necessarily losers. So everyone on the other posts -even the website- are wrong? Of course there are great American girls but every day they're more of a rare commodity, that's the whole point. I know you're from Holland, not USA, but why did you marry a philli girl in the first place? I might be wrong but was it just incidental?


I married a Filipina because I happened to meet one and fall in love with her; the whole HappierAbroad lifestyle was not something I had given much thought until then. I wasn't particularly happy about life in the Western world, though. When I was a teenager I was already dreaming of going to South America, Asia, what-have-you. For a while I even taught myself the Afrikaner language and considered moving to South Africa.

Am I saying those who cannot find it in the USA are losers? Not at all. I never said that. Casual sex, a hookup, it's all pretty easy. But lasting relationship or marriage with a good woman can be a lot more difficult a thing to find. I'm not without my flaws, either; I would be seen by quite a few people as a loser because I was a college drop-out, twice, and never have been a big-earner. I still don't make a lot by today's Western standards, and this would also put me at a disadvantage with some women when it comes to marriage. I've never even been able to own a car. Sure women will sleep with me, date me even, but marry me? I knew I wasn't able to offer a woman a lot in the West, that I could not bring a lot of stability or money to the table. And I don't want my children growing up in the West, either.

So somewhere along the line, "HappierAbroad" became my reality. My outcome. The drinking, the clubbing, the meaningless sex, the materialistic and shallow attitudes of people, I grew tired of it ages ago. I'm not that type of man. I could be (and to some extent, was) successful in the West, sexually. If I tried harder even romantically. But in doing so I would lose a part of myself. Sell a bit of who I am, of my soul, to the devil. I cannot handle the stress, the ratrace. I want to relax, enjoy the sun, enjoy the fresh air on my skin. I long for an entirely different place to be. And I found love, and a way to escape, all in one person. And my subsequent googling's brought me to the philosophy of this site, and that's when I connected all the dots at last.

As for Dutch girls, I could have married one. But nowadays few people marry and have a family before thirty, and I did not want to wait that long. The house market is terrible, living space expensive as hell, and I only just barely managed to pay off my student loans. I did not want to play everything "by the rules", I did not want to do what everyone else was doing. I wanted a more traditional life, and a more traditional wife, and I was lucky enough to find that. In a way it's both a conscious decision as well as a happy incident. Had I not met with my future wife, I may never have left my Matrix and I'd still be living a life of meaningless and depressing debauchery.
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Re: Asian Women and White Men

Postby MarcosZeitola » Tue Feb 24, 2015 10:33 pm

S_Parc wrote:My theory is that Marcos is on a power trip.

For the life of me, I can't understand how a happily married man, would want to get on the net, and badger single men for not dating.


I'm happily married as in: I am happy in my marriage. But does that mean I am happy all the time, or even most of the time I'm on here? I try to be a generally positive person, and I have a view of life that is typically optimistic. Too optimistic for some people's taste. But I'm not always happy. Right now, I am thousands of miles away from my wife and our infant daughter, missing crucial phases of her young life. I receive a letter once a week, speak to her on Skype maybe twice a month if I'm lucky. Every time my daughter is bigger, and has grown. And everytime she sees my face and recognizes my face, my heart skips a beat because I'm so terrified of her not recognizing me any longer... of me becoming a stranger to her. And that eats me up inside sometimes. I'm not yet where I want to be... and if my business plans fail, if I lose what little money I have saved, I'm screwed. I am taking a huge gamble, taking huge risks. And sometimes it frightens me.

I don't have all the answers, and I never said I will. I'm working my ass off for something I don't even know I will succeed in, but I shout over my fears and ignore my doubts, and I push on through. Maybe that's why sometimes I come across as disagreeable. Maybe I just need to blow off some steam sometimes. I don't know. But I'm far from the world's happiest person. I consider myself blessed, and I count my blessings every day, but I'm not yet where I want to be. Long distance relationships are hard, saying goodbye is hard and being apart is hard. Just because I don't talk about my troubles often does not mean I don't have them.

S_Parc wrote:And that's what's got me wondering about Marcos ... why isn't he calming down and becoming more 'settled'? Instead, he's self-righteous, haughty, in ppl's face, and all that jazz. That doesn't sound like a man in love; that sounds more like some control freak who's now planted his flag in Asia-Pacific and has become his own version of Marlon Brando's Colonel Kurtz from 'Apocalypse Now'.


When I am with my wife, I'm hardly ever online. I will likely just stop posting and fade into obscurity for however long we're together, only sharing the occassional update from time to time. But since I am still in the West, and still working, I will comment on forums in my free time.

I don't know if I am a control freak, I have been told by people I have some such tendencies. Doesn't mean I'm not very much a man in love. But as long as her and I aren't together permanently, I have my moments of loneliness, of unhappiness. My moments of fighting temptations, of fighting the urge to do what is wrong and not what is right. I'm not perfect at all, and I'm not where I want to be yet. But I work my hardest to get there, and I will get there soon. And so I remain positive! :D
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Re: Asian Women and White Men

Postby droid » Wed Feb 25, 2015 1:20 am

MarcosZeitola wrote:
droid wrote:Now you just want to "be right" Marcos and keep implying those that can't find it in the states are necessarily losers. So everyone on the other posts -even the website- are wrong? Of course there are great American girls but every day they're more of a rare commodity, that's the whole point. I know you're from Holland, not USA, but why did you marry a philli girl in the first place? I might be wrong but was it just incidental?

Am I saying those who cannot find it in the USA are losers? Not at all. I never said that. Casual sex, a hookup, it's all pretty easy. But lasting relationship or marriage with a good woman can be a lot more difficult a thing to find. I'm not without my flaws, either; I would be seen by quite a few people as a loser because I was a college drop-out, twice, and never have been a big-earner. I still don't make a lot by today's Western standards, and this would also put me at a disadvantage with some women when it comes to marriage. I've never even been able to own a car. Sure women will sleep with me, date me even, but marry me? I knew I wasn't able to offer a woman a lot in the West, that I could not bring a lot of stability or money to the table. And I don't want my children growing up in the West, either.

No you're still wrong Marcos, casual sex, hook-ups are not pretty easy for everyone in the states. That's from the movies, and Winston has already posted about that myth.
Look, I'm 5'6" and not into drugs nor heavy drinking. Women i would've liked to have sex with or date would not give me the time of the day, and god knows i did try. They would be indifferent, flake, respond with only mono-syllables, and in general show disengagement or be outright rude.

And i'm not taking about "10"s here but girls equivalent to me or a bit above, which is normal for a dude to desire.
Of course I had women even approach ME too, but they were either overweight, older, with kids, or uglier than me (<7). This is a key detail, and might be grounds for a different discussion altogether, as to whether a dude is "entitled" to a woman equivalent or somewhat above himself in looks, or whether it is man's duty to settle.
Obviously dudes that settle and bang whales can claim to be "successful" in the states, and there are plenty of those, and they marry and all (to address you previous points).

No big gripe with you Marcos, but the main thing i want to clarify though is that sometimes there is some dishonesty in how some are brushed off as "losers". To speak of just myself, I know I'm a loser in that I'm 5'6" and the 6'2" dudes with chiseled jaws are genetically superior to me, that's fine, i can understand that, good for them. What pisses me off though is that a slippery slope then follows and things are twisted in such a way that dudes like me are then losers of a "flawed character", or that had a "bad attitude", or were not willing to "do the right things".

To finish on a positive note, i've been two weeks in my new location and feel a qualitative and quantitative difference. Girls check you out and you can pull them to the dance floor or what not. it's a completely different dimension. :mrgreen:
1)Too much of one thing defeats the purpose.
2)Everybody is full of it. What's your hypocrisy?
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Re: Asian Women and White Men

Postby Yohan » Wed Feb 25, 2015 1:52 am

S_Parc wrote:For the life of me, I can't understand how a happily married man, would want to get on the net, and badger single men for not dating.


Why not? I am married since over 35 years, never divorced and frequently using the internet. Why not to share my experiences of the past, the good ones but also the bad ones?

About marriage, the marriage contract in Europe when I married was totally different legally seen to what it is today.

It is not wrong to warn other, young men about the risks.
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Re: Asian Women and White Men

Postby S_Parc » Wed Feb 25, 2015 3:33 am

Yohan wrote:
S_Parc wrote:For the life of me, I can't understand how a happily married man, would want to get on the net, and badger single men for not dating.


Why not? I am married since over 35 years, never divorced and frequently using the internet. Why not to share my experiences of the past, the good ones but also the bad ones?

About marriage, the marriage contract in Europe when I married was totally different legally seen to what it is today.

It is not wrong to warn other, young men about the risks.


I'm not talking about sharing experiences. In fact, that what I've been doing for the past 4 years.

I'm talking about getting online and then, badgering men who're not dating in America, claiming that there's something not right with them.
16 years ago, the Best Picture of 1999, "American Beauty", telegraphed the message of Happier Abroad to the world.

Beware of long term engagements with AWs, you may find yourself in a coffin.

AB discussion thread

BTW, despite settling down with an AW, myself, the warning is still in effect.
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Re: Asian Women and White Men

Postby Yohan » Wed Feb 25, 2015 5:06 am

S_Parc wrote:I'm not talking about sharing experiences. In fact, that what I've been doing for the past 4 years.
I'm talking about getting online and then, badgering men who're not dating in America, claiming that there's something not right with them.


I think, you maybe misunderstand the comments of Marcos, I also have sometimes problems to communicate with men from USA. Marcos and me too, we are both from Continental Europe with some connection to Asia and see often the dating scenario and other aspects of daily life rather differently from US-citizens.

I would not say 'something is not right with them' but US-citizens often want to force others to accept their political opinion and moral values claiming them as 'universal laws' etc. They do this often with very derogatory remarks while traveling abroad causing locals to talk angrily back.

For example in South East Asia there are plenty of Russian tourists, their behavior is not always good. - But I have never seen a Russian with a Bible in his hands, walking around in Thailand and claiming Buddhism is not a good religion. I have never seen a Scandinavian feminist, complaining about oppressed females in Japan or about Japanese eating whale meat. I have never seen a South American in Malaysia complaining about missing anti-spanking laws etc..

Wherever US-tourists are showing up abroad, they will always complain about something claiming in USA is everything better- the superior 'Jesus with you religion', human rights, women rights, children rights, animal rights, etc. etc.
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Re: Asian Women and White Men

Postby S_Parc » Wed Feb 25, 2015 6:05 am

Yohan wrote:
S_Parc wrote:I'm not talking about sharing experiences. In fact, that what I've been doing for the past 4 years.
I'm talking about getting online and then, badgering men who're not dating in America, claiming that there's something not right with them.


Wherever US-tourists are showing up abroad, they will always complain about something claiming in USA is everything better- the superior 'Jesus with you religion', human rights, women rights, children rights, animal rights, etc. etc.


I don't know if you'd been reading my posts, but I'm the last person to preach some Anglican/Protestant movement onto others.

All I'd been doing is being practical. If a guy in the west, can't find something meaningful. and doesn't have the resources to go abroad, I say ... get a RealDoll and boink your heart away.

In fact, I practice eastern practices like Qigong, Tai Chi, meditation, and other stuff. My American GF does, as well. What does that have with proselyting?
16 years ago, the Best Picture of 1999, "American Beauty", telegraphed the message of Happier Abroad to the world.

Beware of long term engagements with AWs, you may find yourself in a coffin.

AB discussion thread

BTW, despite settling down with an AW, myself, the warning is still in effect.
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