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The friend zone is an artificial concept in America.

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The friend zone is an artificial concept in America.

Postby MattHanson1990 » Fri Feb 27, 2015 7:19 am

Most of us here on the forum have been "friend zoned" by almost every girl we desire, but I wanted to mention how superficial the concept of the friend zone is in America. Think about it. In the US, friendships are superficial and drift apart very easily. What are called "friends" in the States are actually "acquaintances" or "hang out buddies"; true friends are in fact hard to come by in modern America. So if a girl says "let's just be friends", she really is putting guys in the acquaintance zone because most American women don't even want to befriend guys that are not her type. In the long run, most women we've desired in America actually put most guys in the "stranger zone" as AW eventually cut off all contact with guys they put in the so-called "friend zone". Even if a guy and a girl are good friends stateside, it'll be a matter of time before they drift apart because most American women ditch their friends as soon as they get a new boyfriend.

However, in El Paso and most places abroad, it's way easier to befriend women, and the friendships are deeper and last much longer, even if you can't date some of the girls you meet in saner cultures. Additionally, you still have dating options if one or a few foreign women only want to be friends with you, which is so mesmerizing compared to anywhere else you go in the US where a girl friend zones you and you're out of options. Additionally, another advantage about befriending women in El Paso or abroad is that unlike AW, they usually don't ditch their friends when they get a new boyfriend.
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Re: The friend zone is an artificial concept in America.

Postby OutWest » Fri Feb 27, 2015 8:32 am

MattHanson1990 wrote:Most of us here on the forum have been "friend zoned" by almost every girl we desire, but I wanted to mention how superficial the concept of the friend zone is in America. Think about it. In the US, friendships are superficial and drift apart very easily. What are called "friends" in the States are actually "acquaintances" or "hang out buddies"; true friends are in fact hard to come by in modern America. So if a girl says "let's just be friends", she really is putting guys in the acquaintance zone because most American women don't even want to befriend guys that are not her type. In the long run, most women we've desired in America actually put most guys in the "stranger zone" as AW eventually cut off all contact with guys they put in the so-called "friend zone". Even if a guy and a girl are good friends stateside, it'll be a matter of time before they drift apart because most American women ditch their friends as soon as they get a new boyfriend.

However, in El Paso and most places abroad, it's way easier to befriend women, and the friendships are deeper and last much longer, even if you can't date some of the girls you meet in saner cultures. Additionally, you still have dating options if one or a few foreign women only want to be friends with you, which is so mesmerizing compared to anywhere else you go in the US where a girl friend zones you and you're out of options. Additionally, another advantage about befriending women in El Paso or abroad is that unlike AW, they usually don't ditch their friends when they get a new boyfriend.


You actually go along with being " friends" with a girl
That you would actually rather have as your GF?
Maybe im not understanding you correctly.
The "friend zone" stuff only works if men play along with it. Men who accept that usually secretly hope that by accepting friend zone status at least they are on the waiting list. That is all it is. This is something you have to play along with to become a friend zone victim.
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Re: The friend zone is an artificial concept in America.

Postby MarcosZeitola » Fri Feb 27, 2015 8:38 am

OutWest wrote:
MattHanson1990 wrote:Most of us here on the forum have been "friend zoned" by almost every girl we desire, but I wanted to mention how superficial the concept of the friend zone is in America. Think about it. In the US, friendships are superficial and drift apart very easily. What are called "friends" in the States are actually "acquaintances" or "hang out buddies"; true friends are in fact hard to come by in modern America. So if a girl says "let's just be friends", she really is putting guys in the acquaintance zone because most American women don't even want to befriend guys that are not her type. In the long run, most women we've desired in America actually put most guys in the "stranger zone" as AW eventually cut off all contact with guys they put in the so-called "friend zone". Even if a guy and a girl are good friends stateside, it'll be a matter of time before they drift apart because most American women ditch their friends as soon as they get a new boyfriend.

However, in El Paso and most places abroad, it's way easier to befriend women, and the friendships are deeper and last much longer, even if you can't date some of the girls you meet in saner cultures. Additionally, you still have dating options if one or a few foreign women only want to be friends with you, which is so mesmerizing compared to anywhere else you go in the US where a girl friend zones you and you're out of options. Additionally, another advantage about befriending women in El Paso or abroad is that unlike AW, they usually don't ditch their friends when they get a new boyfriend.


You actually go along with being " friends" with a girl
That you would actually rather have as your GF?
Maybe im not understanding you correctly.
The "friend zone" stuff only works if men play along with it. Men who accept that usually secretly hope that by accepting friend zone status at least they are on the waiting list. That is all it is. This is something you have to play along with to become a friend zone victim.


You won't get played with when you play well.
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Re: The friend zone is an artificial concept in America.

Postby S_Parc » Fri Feb 27, 2015 2:01 pm

I don't know if I completely concur with this anymore. Over a decade and half ago, my GF and I started in the *friend zone* or acquaintance zone. Then, we transitioned into the *best friend zone*. Now, we're BF/GF. And tomorrow (the date's not set yet), we'll be in the married zone.

I think the problem is that the average person is afraid of change and growth. The gals who put men in these categories are basically immature/crazy a/o have douchebag affinities. If so, then these are lame *ss women in the end. They will generally make poor life decisions and seldom be happy, until they've made so many mistakes that they'll be fishing for a beta in the end to foot their bills. In addition, I've now also realized that some of my *friend zone* female pals were actually control freaks, who were secretly looking for a guy to p*ssywhip. Obviously, I don't fit a profile of a guy who likes to be beaten down. I'm glad that I'd never been involved with them.

Basically, there are two types of *friend zone* women to avoid, those who abuse and those who like to be abused.
16 years ago, the Best Picture of 1999, "American Beauty", telegraphed the message of Happier Abroad to the world.

Beware of long term engagements with AWs, you may find yourself in a coffin.

AB discussion thread

BTW, despite settling down with an AW, myself, the warning is still in effect.
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Re: The friend zone is an artificial concept in America.

Postby MattHanson1990 » Fri Feb 27, 2015 4:04 pm

OutWest wrote:
MattHanson1990 wrote:Most of us here on the forum have been "friend zoned" by almost every girl we desire, but I wanted to mention how superficial the concept of the friend zone is in America. Think about it. In the US, friendships are superficial and drift apart very easily. What are called "friends" in the States are actually "acquaintances" or "hang out buddies"; true friends are in fact hard to come by in modern America. So if a girl says "let's just be friends", she really is putting guys in the acquaintance zone because most American women don't even want to befriend guys that are not her type. In the long run, most women we've desired in America actually put most guys in the "stranger zone" as AW eventually cut off all contact with guys they put in the so-called "friend zone". Even if a guy and a girl are good friends stateside, it'll be a matter of time before they drift apart because most American women ditch their friends as soon as they get a new boyfriend.

However, in El Paso and most places abroad, it's way easier to befriend women, and the friendships are deeper and last much longer, even if you can't date some of the girls you meet in saner cultures. Additionally, you still have dating options if one or a few foreign women only want to be friends with you, which is so mesmerizing compared to anywhere else you go in the US where a girl friend zones you and you're out of options. Additionally, another advantage about befriending women in El Paso or abroad is that unlike AW, they usually don't ditch their friends when they get a new boyfriend.


You actually go along with being " friends" with a girl
That you would actually rather have as your GF?
Maybe im not understanding you correctly.
The "friend zone" stuff only works if men play along with it. Men who accept that usually secretly hope that by accepting friend zone status at least they are on the waiting list. That is all it is. This is something you have to play along with to become a friend zone victim.


Before coming across HA and discovering the social paradise of El Paso, every girl I desired friend zoned me for life. It wasn't a waiting list. For instance the girl I've been good friends with since freshman year of high school doesn't want to be more than friends with me at all, and yet she's a RARE find in America. She's just like a foreign woman. The friendship is true, deep, and genuine, but sadly she lives in Chicago. The places where she has lived explains why she didn't give me any options when she friend zoned me. In a different post I mentioned that she would give me girls to choose from had she and I lived in El Paso at the time she friend zoned me for life when I wanted to take things further.

Another girl I desired friend zoned me for life except she was way more Americanized. She turned out to be superficial and didn't act feminine; she acted more masculine. All she wore were just t shirt and jeans. Plus she is fat and rather ugly. That friendship was superficial as she was reluctant to hang out with me one on one. She only wanted to hang out with me when it was in groups, just so she can socialize with her girlfriends more. And whenever something came up when we were supposed to hang out, she never let me know until I would call or text her, and at times it would take forever for her to respond. Then when she got with her current boyfriend, she started drifting away, and then four months later she would not text me back for two weeks. And then when she finally did text me back, all she gave me were one-word answers.
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Re: The friend zone is an artificial concept in America.

Postby Devil Dog » Fri Feb 27, 2015 7:06 pm

Ho hum. "The friend zone" just means that the girl is not interested in a romantic relationship. Most women you meet will not be, and they should not be. This "just want to be friends" is a way for the guy to save face. Would it be better if the woman bruised your ego with the truth?

You just move on and don't worry about it. The funny thing is that the winners in this area have many times more failures than the losers. Take it like a man and move on. Quit your f***ing complaining and move to the next one. If friend zone means failure to you then JUST f***ing MAN UP AND MOVE ON.

The prevailing mentality of HA is scarcity. If you change your mindset from scarcity to plenty then your world will change.
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Re: The friend zone is an artificial concept in America.

Postby S_Parc » Fri Feb 27, 2015 8:14 pm

Devil Dog wrote:You just move on and don't worry about it. The funny thing is that the winners in this area have many times more failures than the losers. Take it like a man and move on. Quit your f***ing complaining and move to the next one. If friend zone means failure to you then JUST f***ing MAN UP AND MOVE ON.

The prevailing mentality of HA is scarcity. If you change your mindset from scarcity to plenty then your world will change.


A friend zone can also work like this. If the women is actively looking for someone else, then it's a bench, not too different from a b-ball game. Not every woman will get her Johnnie Depp.

The problem is that once you're *zoned*, you need to actively lose interest in that woman. And then, one's stature goes up in her mind. The mistake that ppl make is that they secretly want the woman and somehow, the woman figures it out and you become one of Saturn's rings, constantly in orbit and of awe of her.

If you can lose interest, then it's easier to switch gears in the future, because you'd lost that immediate need for the woman. Because if she comes around, you can always use the line, 'Thought we were just friends. Is there anything else happening around here?'

Today, former friend zoners are after me but it's too late for them.
16 years ago, the Best Picture of 1999, "American Beauty", telegraphed the message of Happier Abroad to the world.

Beware of long term engagements with AWs, you may find yourself in a coffin.

AB discussion thread

BTW, despite settling down with an AW, myself, the warning is still in effect.
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Re: The friend zone is an artificial concept in America.

Postby droid » Fri Feb 27, 2015 8:34 pm

Devil Dog wrote:Ho hum. "The friend zone" just means that the girl is not interested in a romantic relationship. Most women you meet will not be, and they should not be. This "just want to be friends" is a way for the guy to save face. Would it be better if the woman bruised your ego with the truth?
You just move on and don't worry about it. The funny thing is that the winners in this area have many times more failures than the losers. Take it like a man and move on. Quit your f***ing complaining and move to the next one. If friend zone means failure to you then JUST f***ing MAN UP AND MOVE ON.
The prevailing mentality of HA is scarcity. If you change your mindset from scarcity to plenty then your world will change.


What a load of bullcrap Devil Dog, MOVE ON TO WHAT? the next whale or crack-head?. THERE IS a scarcity of quality women in America.
If you're one of the dudes that settles below your league then yeah you can claim great "successes" though.

I generally agree with your bootstrap comments, but when there is actually material to work with.
Last edited by droid on Sat Feb 28, 2015 2:09 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The friend zone is an artificial concept in America.

Postby droid » Fri Feb 27, 2015 8:42 pm

MattHanson1990 wrote:because most American women don't even want to befriend guys that are not her type

Priceless.
I actually don't totally agree with the concept of 'friendzone' existing in the states for this very reason.
Some of them i actually tried to befriend but they wouldn't go for it, it's all or nothing. I saw other dudes experience the same.
1)Too much of one thing defeats the purpose.
2)Everybody is full of it. What's your hypocrisy?
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Re: The friend zone is an artificial concept in America.

Postby MattHanson1990 » Fri Feb 27, 2015 8:57 pm

droid wrote:If you're one of the dudes that settles below your league then yeah you can claim great "successes" though.


Even when guys lower their standards, it's still zero sum game in the dating scene because even fat ugly chicks are unattainable or unavailable.
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Re: The friend zone is an artificial concept in America.

Postby WorldTraveler » Sat Feb 28, 2015 12:19 am

MattHanson1990 wrote:Most of us here on the forum have been "friend zoned" by almost every girl we desire, but I wanted to mention how superficial the concept of the friend zone is in America. Think about it. In the US, friendships are superficial and drift apart very easily. What are called "friends" in the States are actually "acquaintances" or "hang out buddies"; true friends are in fact hard to come by in modern America. So if a girl says "let's just be friends", she really is putting guys in the acquaintance zone because most American women don't even want to befriend guys that are not her type. In the long run, most women we've desired in America actually put most guys in the "stranger zone" as AW eventually cut off all contact with guys they put in the so-called "friend zone". Even if a guy and a girl are good friends stateside, it'll be a matter of time before they drift apart because most American women ditch their friends as soon as they get a new boyfriend.



There is no friendzone, only acquaintances.

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Re: The friend zone is an artificial concept in America.

Postby Devil Dog » Sat Feb 28, 2015 12:20 am

droid wrote:
Devil Dog wrote:Ho hum. "The friend zone" just means that the girl is not interested in a romantic relationship. Most women you meet will not be, and they should not be. This "just want to be friends" is a way for the guy to save face. Would it be better if the woman bruised your ego with the truth?
You just move on and don't worry about it. The funny thing is that the winners in this area have many times more failures than the losers. Take it like a man and move on. Quit your f***ing complaining and move to the next one. If friend zone means failure to you then JUST f***ing MAN UP AND MOVE ON.
The prevailing mentality of HA is scarcity. If you change your mindset from scarcity to plenty then your world will change.


What a load of bullcrap Devil Dog, MOVE ON TO WHAT? the next whale or crack-head?. THERE IS a scarcity of quality women in America.
If you're one of the dudes that settles below your league then yeah you can claim great "successes" though.

I agree in general with your bootstrap comments, but when there is actually material to work with.


Meh. I am married. But I was single before then, and when I did not click with a girl then I moved on and did not continue to think about her. I had no problem getting women. Nobody ever accused me of settling, but I don't have any need to validate that further to HA.

I am not saying that I am some kind of PUA or super attractive guy, but I have never had any problem attracting women whether they were Western or Eastern. S_Parc is exactly right in how to handle it - stop caring about that one. Caring too much is unattractive to women. Stop giving a damn and women will become available. If you don't want them, then that is fine. You can friend zone them.

That said, if I ever find myself single you can bet that my ass will be in Vietnam meeting people, not in the US bitching about how bad the women are. I think the vast majority of American women are totally f***ed up. But I don't make a bunch of posts about that. Want to know why? BECAUSE IT DOESN'T MATTER TO ME. If I were single it still wouldn't matter, because I would move on - to women who are what I want.
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Re: The friend zone is an artificial concept in America.

Postby droid » Sat Feb 28, 2015 2:21 am

droid wrote:What a load of bullcrap Devil Dog, MOVE ON TO WHAT? the next whale or crack-head?. THERE IS a scarcity of quality women in America.
If you're one of the dudes that settles below your league then yeah you can claim great "successes" though.
I agree in general with your bootstrap comments, but when there is actually material to work with.


Devil Dog wrote:Nobody ever accused me of settling, but I don't have any need to validate that further to HA.

That would be relevant to the subject and your lecturing.

I am not saying that I am some kind of PUA or super attractive guy, but I have never had any problem attracting women whether they were Western or Eastern. S_Parc is exactly right in how to handle it - stop caring about that one. Caring too much is unattractive to women. Stop giving a damn and women will become available. If you don't want them, then that is fine. You can friend zone them.
Again that would make sense, and it's just common sense, but it won't work if you don't have options. You're living in the 70's or something. When did you marry?

not in the US bitching about how bad the women are.
But I don't make a bunch of posts about that.

Makes sense, i'm not in the US anymore if that's what you inferred, but I get what you're saying, some other members are not taking action.
But regardless, for the sake of research and documentation these things need to be stated and discussed. That's the whole service of this website, so that some dudes that are still in the dark see that there are common denominators and realize they're not crazy.
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Re: The friend zone is an artificial concept in America.

Postby Devil Dog » Sat Feb 28, 2015 4:13 am

droid wrote:
droid wrote:What a load of bullcrap Devil Dog, MOVE ON TO WHAT? the next whale or crack-head?. THERE IS a scarcity of quality women in America.
If you're one of the dudes that settles below your league then yeah you can claim great "successes" though.
I agree in general with your bootstrap comments, but when there is actually material to work with.


Devil Dog wrote:Nobody ever accused me of settling, but I don't have any need to validate that further to HA.



That would be relevant to the subject and your lecturing.


Lecturing? I just state opinions. Do I project authority?

Giving details in order to prove authenticity to HA? It's just not that important to me. Label me a troll and have me banned. I don't give a shit.
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Re: The friend zone is an artificial concept in America.

Postby Maverick » Sun Mar 01, 2015 10:10 am

S_Parc wrote:
Devil Dog wrote:You just move on and don't worry about it. The funny thing is that the winners in this area have many times more failures than the losers. Take it like a man and move on. Quit your f***ing complaining and move to the next one. If friend zone means failure to you then JUST f***ing MAN UP AND MOVE ON.

The prevailing mentality of HA is scarcity. If you change your mindset from scarcity to plenty then your world will change.


A friend zone can also work like this. If the women is actively looking for someone else, then it's a bench, not too different from a b-ball game. Not every woman will get her Johnnie Depp.

The problem is that once you're *zoned*, you need to actively lose interest in that woman. And then, one's stature goes up in her mind. The mistake that ppl make is that they secretly want the woman and somehow, the woman figures it out and you become one of Saturn's rings, constantly in orbit and of awe of her.

If you can lose interest, then it's easier to switch gears in the future, because you'd lost that immediate need for the woman. Because if she comes around, you can always use the line, 'Thought we were just friends. Is there anything else happening around here?'

Today, former friend zoners are after me but it's too late for them.


+1

What I've found is that if you are friendzoned, either she's interested in someone else (usually the case) or she's not initially attracted to you. What I usually do is make a move as soon as possible when meeting a woman. If I get rejected (just once), I shrug my shoulders and meet other women. I find that if you just don't care, the woman usually comes around at some point. Though, by then, I've usually lost interest and don't really pursue anything (unless she makes it very easy). Oh well. Her loss.
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