Happier Abroad Forum Community

The friend zone is all over the world its innate to all women. Its all how they perceive the amount of resources and social position they will gain by hooking up with you. If there is not anything to gain they will friend zone if they think its a big jump up they will through themselves at you. Remember Disneyland fairy-tales where she hooks up with the prince who has unlimited amounts of wealth and an army of supplicating servants, its p0rn for women.

tom wrote:The friend zone is all over the world its innate to all women. Its all how they perceive the amount of resources and social position they will gain by hooking up with you. If there is not anything to gain they will friend zone if they think its a big jump up they will through themselves at you. Remember Disneyland fairy-tales where she hooks up with the prince who has unlimited amounts of wealth and an army of supplicating servants, its p0rn for women.

Sometimes they're just not physically attracted to you. There's a shitload of men online complaining about being friendzoned by women, and many of these men simply aren't attractive physically. Others are weak-willed, shy, insecure of themselves and have a bit of a "doormat" type personality. Some women you will excite, others you will not be able to excite. Part of it is effort, the way you act and carry yourself. Part of it is also your looks, your genes, your facial features.

Some 4\10 men think that being a "good friend" to a 7\10 woman will mean they get to sleep with her sooner or later. Some think that after the girl is on the market again (sometimes they befriend girls who are taken), she will SURELY pick him because he's "so nice to her". I think very few "friendzoned men" aimed for women of their own level of physical attractiveness, either because they believe they deserve better then is realistic or because they overestimate their own physical attractiveness. This is something to consider. Some men, to sum it up: are simply delusional. Admittedly, so are many women. Hence the problem.

MarcosZeitola wrote:Some 4\10 men think that being a "good friend" to a 7\10 woman will mean they get to sleep with her sooner or later. Some think that after the girl is on the market again (sometimes they befriend girls who are taken), she will SURELY pick him because he's "so nice to her". I think very few "friendzoned men" aimed for women of their own level of physical attractiveness, either because they believe they deserve better then is realistic or because they overestimate their own physical attractiveness. This is something to consider. Some men, to sum it up: are simply delusional. Admittedly, so are many women. Hence the problem.

Here's a true story ... a long time ago, this was back in college, I'd known a '6' or '7' gal, who'd finally dated (& later married) a '4' guy, who was friend zoned for roughly a year.

Prior to them dating, she was dumped by an athletic '8' guy beforehand, and yes, he was rather good-looking (kinda like a Johnny Depp) and he had no problems beating me at basketball, and he was a premed with solid grades. Long story short, he was in demand and she was just one of many, but he was steady with her, during the time he was studying organic chemistry, as he didn't have the free time to chase women around campus. When that tough academic year was over, he'd dumped her and started fishing around.

Afterwards, she then proceeded to treat her new '4' BF, like a doormat and a concierge service. Last I'd heard, she'd divorced him after he'd gotten his parent's inheritance and he's an embittered man today because he'd supposedly treated her right but she was mainly vengeful and had probably felt short changed in her, not being able to have her movie star looking man in the end.

I think I get what he means somewhat. As I've noticed it in foreign girls here I've talked to. In America, when a girl "friendzones" you, it means she wants nothing to do with you and doesn't even wish to talk to you ever beyond like, if you work together and say hi or something. Like, you will have no friendly relations like you would a male friend talking about your day or whatever with said girl that says "let's be friends" or doesn't wanna date you. I think that's the big difference, obviously not every girl is going to want to date you anywhere you go, but I do believe it may be possible in other places to be actually friends with a girl and have it be a normal feeling thing, and not awkward where she doesn't actually wish to be friends with you or even see you again, and doesn't complain "omg what a creep why doesn't he get the hint, why the f**k is he texting me hi for, what an idiot."

Frankly, I can't even feel comfortable around most American girls. When I talk to Polish girls I feel comfortable, but with American girls I don't. America has this weird pressure where like, if you do want to get to know a girl better, you're a p***y, or a wuss, you're not assertive, etc, and in dating you're expected to "lay it all on the line" when you first meet a girl and be like "ay baby wanna f**k??!" and there's seemingly no middle ground, so you either get false friendzoned or like 3 text messages in from some girl in some shitty online date thing "let's f**k now!!!"

It might be the blissful narcissism of some American women

You do not have to accept being cast in the friend zone. You do not have to spend any time with a woman who does this. The best thing you can do is no long be "friends" with a woman like this, such a person will be wasting your very valuable time. You will feel a lot better if she was not your friend, the reason why is simple, she is using you. Getting rid of user women who gives nothing in return is probably the best thing you can do.

tom wrote:You do not have to accept being cast in the friend zone. You do not have to spend any time with a woman who does this. The best thing you can do is no long be "friends" with a woman like this, such a person will be wasting your very valuable time. You will feel a lot better if she was not your friend, the reason why is simple, she is using you. Getting rid of user women who gives nothing in return is probably the best thing you can do.

^This. If a woman who you are interested in ever tells you that she only wants to be friends then tell her you have plenty of friends already and then break contact with her.

tom wrote:You do not have to accept being cast in the friend zone. You do not have to spend any time with a woman who does this. The best thing you can do is no long be "friends" with a woman like this, such a person will be wasting your very valuable time. You will feel a lot better if she was not your friend, the reason why is simple, she is using you. Getting rid of user women who gives nothing in return is probably the best thing you can do.

Before I went abroad, every girl I desired cast me in the friend zone; not only that but most of those friendships were superficial, and many of these girls didn't even want to befriend me as I was not a top 10% type. For example, one of the girls who cast me in the friend zone, I met her in August 2012 shortly after my mom passed away. I sent her a friend request on Facebook not long after meeting her, she doesn't accept but updates her profile picture; she finally does when I mention that I sent her a request. At the time I didn't think it was much of a red flag, but now I realized it was one of the red flags. Another red flag was that she refused to hang out with me one on one; she always wanted it to be in groups. And another red flag was that when she and I were supposed to hang out but she has to cancel or reschedule, she NEVER even let me know...unless I called or texted her; and on a couple of those occasions, it took forever for her to reply or pick up the phone. Last but not least, when she got with her current boyfriend in July 2013, I knew she was going to drift away because most American girls ditch their friends when they have a boyfriend, not just in the first few or so months. But many girls ditch their friends the ENTIRE time they're in a serious relationship. And I was right when she started drifting away. For a couple weeks in November, she never texted me back, and when she finally did, all she gave me were one word answers. So then I cut her out of my life for good.

Now the friendships I have with most of the Mexican girls in El Paso are a lot truer.

Some of these stories are unbelievable. I haven't been friendzoned since I was a freshman in College.

Here's the truth: Western culture uses the word "friend" way too losely. These women are "acquitances" not friends.

You're not getting friendzoned. You are getting DISRESPECTED, ABUSED, AND MANIPULATED. Sorry to be mean but I think tough love works great in this stupid feminist society.

Here's a few tips to help people cope with this society:

1. Demand Respect

Seek out women that respect you. Respect means returning calls, cancelling dates before hand, and being honest. We are brainwashed to look for beauty and nothing else. Cut that stupid shit out.

Interact with women that respect you first. It should be your main focus. This will eliminate a lot of the crap you are dealing with.

2. Be Honest

Tell her how you feel QUICKLY. You only get one life. Stop wasting time when these wishy washy whores. YOU ARE AN ADULT. If she doesn't like you back, then tell her it was nice to meet you and spend your time with someone else.

3. End the Thirst

Start drinking more Water. Your body is 80% water. Divide your weight in half to figure out how many OZ of water you need.

Ex. If you weight 190 lbs, then you need 95 oz of pure water everyday. Not coffee or tea. PURE water. Buy a water filter and make it happen. This will END YOUR THIRST and bring you back to your hydration levels as a child. We only begin to get thirsty as we age. Don't let it happen to you. STAY HYDRATED.

gibraltar wrote:Some of these stories are unbelievable. I haven't been friendzoned since I was a freshman in College.

Here's the truth: Western culture uses the word "friend" way too losely. These women are "acquitances" not friends.

You're not getting friendzoned. You are getting DISRESPECTED, ABUSED, AND MANIPULATED. Sorry to be mean but I think tough love works great in this stupid feminist society.

Here's a few tips to help people cope with this society:

1. Demand Respect

Seek out women that respect you. Respect means returning calls, cancelling dates before hand, and being honest. We are brainwashed to look for beauty and nothing else. Cut that stupid shit out.

Interact with women that respect you first. It should be your main focus. This will eliminate a lot of the crap you are dealing with.

2. Be Honest

Tell her how you feel QUICKLY. You only get one life. Stop wasting time when these wishy washy whores. YOU ARE AN ADULT. If she doesn't like you back, then tell her it was nice to meet you and spend your time with someone else.

3. End the Thirst

Start drinking more Water. Your body is 80% water. Divide your weight in half to figure out how many OZ of water you need.

Ex. If you weight 190 lbs, then you need 95 oz of pure water everyday. Not coffee or tea. PURE water. Buy a water filter and make it happen. This will END YOUR THIRST and bring you back to your hydration levels as a child. We only begin to get thirsty as we age. Don't let it happen to you. STAY HYDRATED.

Then we are also brainwashed to not be "overly forward" with women as it'll just creep them out. When I came across HA I found out that it's only an American/Western thing.

gibraltar wrote:Some of these stories are unbelievable. I haven't been friendzoned since I was a freshman in College.

Here's the truth: Western culture uses the word "friend" way too losely. These women are "acquitances" not friends.

You're not getting friendzoned. You are getting DISRESPECTED, ABUSED, AND MANIPULATED. Sorry to be mean but I think tough love works great in this stupid feminist society.

Here's a few tips to help people cope with this society:

1. Demand Respect

Seek out women that respect you. Respect means returning calls, cancelling dates before hand, and being honest. We are brainwashed to look for beauty and nothing else. Cut that stupid shit out.

Interact with women that respect you first. It should be your main focus. This will eliminate a lot of the crap you are dealing with.

2. Be Honest

Tell her how you feel QUICKLY. You only get one life. Stop wasting time when these wishy washy whores. YOU ARE AN ADULT. If she doesn't like you back, then tell her it was nice to meet you and spend your time with someone else.

3. End the Thirst

Start drinking more Water. Your body is 80% water. Divide your weight in half to figure out how many OZ of water you need.

Ex. If you weight 190 lbs, then you need 95 oz of pure water everyday. Not coffee or tea. PURE water. Buy a water filter and make it happen. This will END YOUR THIRST and bring you back to your hydration levels as a child. We only begin to get thirsty as we age. Don't let it happen to you. STAY HYDRATED.

Then we are also brainwashed to not be "overly forward" with women as it'll just creep them out. When I came across HA I found out that it's only an American/Western thing.

MattHanson1990 wrote:

gibraltar wrote:
2. Be Honest

Tell her how you feel QUICKLY. You only get one life. Stop wasting time when these wishy washy whores. YOU ARE AN ADULT. If she doesn't like you back, then tell her it was nice to meet you and spend your time with someone else.

Then we are also brainwashed to not be "overly forward" with women as it'll just creep them out. When I came across HA I found out that it's only an American/Western thing.

I was watching PUA coach Jamie today (I posted on another thread). He said intelligent men, and Americans suffer from this, while Brazilians just go right in.

Kind of hurts, but I guess it's true.

Jester wrote: I was watching PUA coach Jamie today (I posted on another thread). He said intelligent men, and Americans suffer from this, while Brazilians just go right in.

Kind of hurts, but I guess it's true.

It's the problem where we are instructed as a society to get our information on how to deal with women from the women themselves. And it sucks for many people because, in 99% of cases, this is a goddamn terrible idea. I don't know if it's that women just have this huge disparity between mind and body (what they think they want vs. what they actually want), if it's some sort of shit-test to reduce the number of 'weak' guys (e.g. the ones who would actually listen to and try to conduct themselves by feminist doctrine) hitting on her, or if it's just a case of a group of people naturally abusing the sudden power they have found themselves with to change the system to be blatantly in their favor (we always wanted to be princesses, let's get EVERYONE TO TREAT US ALL LIKE ONE).

For YEARS, through HS and through my early college years, I did everything to make sure I wouldn't end up with the dreaded label 'creep,' or make some poor woman uncomfortable, and I got nothing, nowhere. It took realizing that feminists and their ilk already hate you, already see something wrong with you (obviously, you'd be in a relationship if there wasn't something wrong with you), are basically already counting down the seconds until you start shooting people, and couldn't care less if you hanged yourself out of loneliness and depression, that I started taking the steps to get over it. I don't know that I'll ever be that dude who can open on anybody and basically already have the deal closed, but things did get better.

I think my point is, in this case, BE THE BRAZILIAN.

Really, what is this friend zone plaguing the Anglosphere? I never got it. It's tortured me during all my years of living in America.

In every Asian country that I have been to, a girl simply doesn't call you a friend after you give her flowers, and take her out on a really nice one-on-one trip. Or even just talking to her often one-on-one.
Do that to a girl in Asia and she'll seriously end up thinking that you want to marry her and start a family. She will start talking about meeting her parents, what you are planning to do for your future, and bride price matters.
Do that to a girl in the US and nothing happens. She'll just say "OMG you're such a cool friend! Why can't I have more friends like you?" Or, she just ignores you.

In Thailand, things as little as sending heart stickers on Facebook mean that you are serious about potentially dating the girl. She will think that you seriously have feelings with her. Give flowers to a girl, and that's pretty much a proposal right there.

My Thai girlfriend asked me if I've had girlfriends while I was in high school and college. I told her no, because it's seriously easier for a guy to get a boyfriend than a girlfriend in the US. I just said that it's because the US totally saturated with gay people. Which is true.
But further explaining the whole American women thing to a woman abroad would be like explaining rocket science to a snail. If you tell an Asian girl that you can't get women in America, she might think that it's because you didn't know how to be a responsible marriage-minded man who could impress her parents. So don't tell them about being unable to get American women.

Trying to be a jerk, trying to be cool, playing hard to get, texting games, friend zones, social circles, interview-like dates. How American women are repelled by nerds and nice guys. Might as well talk about Einstein's theory of relativity. These things can be very culturally foreign and difficult to imagine for most non-Americans.

My Thai girlfriend also said that so many girls in Southeast Asia want me because I'm such a nice, good-looking, studious, responsible guy. Nice guy. Yes, nice guy.

I told her that many young women nowadays like jerks and bad boys. It didn't make any sense to her at all.


See these friend zone articles.

http://www.oddee.com/item_98184.aspx

http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/relati ... 6235cdbfc1

Falcon wrote:Really, what is this friend zone plaguing the Anglosphere? I never got it. It's tortured me during all my years of living in America.

In every Asian country that I have been to, a girl simply doesn't call you a friend after you give her flowers, and take her out on a really nice one-on-one trip. Or even just talking to her often one-on-one.
Do that to a girl in Asia and she'll seriously end up thinking that you want to marry her and start a family. She will start talking about meeting her parents, what you are planning to do for your future, and bride price matters.
Do that to a girl in the US and nothing happens. She'll just say "OMG you're such a cool friend! Why can't I have more friends like you?" Or, she just ignores you.

In Thailand, things as little as sending heart stickers on Facebook mean that you are serious about potentially dating the girl. She will think that you seriously have feelings with her. Give flowers to a girl, and that's pretty much a proposal right there.

My Thai girlfriend asked me if I've had girlfriends while I was in high school and college. I told her no, because it's seriously easier for a guy to get a boyfriend than a girlfriend in the US. I just said that it's because the US totally saturated with gay people. Which is true.
But further explaining the whole American women thing to a woman abroad would be like explaining rocket science to a snail. If you tell an Asian girl that you can't get women in America, she might think that it's because you didn't know how to be a responsible marriage-minded man who could impress her parents. So don't tell them about being unable to get American women.

Trying to be a jerk, trying to be cool, playing hard to get, texting games, friend zones, social circles, interview-like dates. How American women are repelled by nerds and nice guys. Might as well talk about Einstein's theory of relativity. These things can be very culturally foreign and difficult to imagine for most non-Americans.

My Thai girlfriend also said that so many girls in Southeast Asia want me because I'm such a nice, good-looking, studious, responsible guy. Nice guy. Yes, nice guy.

I told her that many young women nowadays like jerks and bad boys. It didn't make any sense to her at all.


See these friend zone articles.

http://www.oddee.com/item_98184.aspx

http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/relati ... 6235cdbfc1

Here's what I don't get: why are nerds dissed by American women yet a lot of these nerds have good salaries? That is weird to me. I heard Silicon Valley, Silicon Forest (Seattle-Portland NW USA), Silicon Farm (Austin, TX), Silicon Oil Rig (Houston), and Silicon Alley (NYC/NJ) have this problem, too.