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I don't post here very often anymore, but I figured that I'd ask this very important question.
There is obviously a lot of sketchiness when it comes to dating foreign women. If you meet her online, for example, how can you know even her real name for sure, no less anything else she tells you. Even if you meet a girl in that country, you really don't know much about her until you live there for a while and really get to know her.
But what if you don't have time for that?
Recently, I've been very careful with the women that I date in the US. I usually choose to pursue women that I either work with or share mutual friends. If I meet the girl randomly, I usually google her and, in extreme cases, do a full background check and/or hire a private investigator (I have one on retainer in the US).
This method has allowed me to avoid multiple landmines. Is there a way to do this with foreign women? Because, based on my experiences abroad, they can be even more sketchy than American women.
If you are in USA but meeting girls overseas, you are meeting them online most likely - either via dating sites or through some sort of social networking process (friending your friends of friends on FB, etc.).
So let's assume you hit it off with one of these girls and start developing a relationship. You should begin to feel what she's all about at your gut level as things progress (online, phone, cam). The signs will be there. You just need to stay awake.
1. Her FB profile. How often does she post writings and photos, what does she post about, who are her friends, etc? If you are fortunate enough to be corresponding with a girl who is very active on FB, and she doesn't seem to have multiple accounts, you've got a goldmine of date right there. Of course this does not apply to PRC girls cus most of them are not on FB.
2. If you randomly ring her up, what percentage of the time does she answer? What is the background noise? And on the same topic, what is the structure of her life? Does she go to an office everyday, work in a call center, go to school, or stay at home and perhaps do family related work? Is she and her family actively involved in the church (not just going to mass on Sunday but living the life).
3. Can she give you detailed answers to specific questions without hesitation - what schools did she attend, what is her full name, what is her exact date, what is her Chinese animal sign and zodiac sign, etc? Basically can she outline her life story chronologically well chalk full of specific details.
4. Is she willing to show you her postal ID, voters registration, passport, etc. on cam or even send you a copy?
5. Pretend you might suddenly come on such and such a date and tell her out of the blue. Is she excited and available to see you and spend a lot of time with you outside of her obvious work/school obligations and/or family curfews?
6. Does she ever hint at financial problems or just outright ask for help?
7. If you are not able to somehow gather enough relevant info through the some of the steps above, then English speaking PIs are in many if not most foreign countries. You can go this route if you just can't figure things out and really are into the girl. But be sure to get solid and credible third party references on the PI you choose for the task are you hiring him for.
The simplest, best advice. And this is difficult, because I have willingly ignored red flags before. When your gut says something is wrong, then something IS wrong.
A helpful guide:
Expatriation Apocalypse! The Guide to Expatriation for the Broke and Hopeless (Kindle)
Expatriation Apocalypse! (Paperback)
3 posts • Page 1 of 1
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