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There is someone for everyone - Myth or Fact?

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Guyver
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There is someone for everyone - Myth or Fact?

Post by Guyver » April 28th, 2015, 3:08 am

So I was browsing through the comments of this other forum about this topic, and this one bisexual female made a statement which I found interesting and grounded with reality a lot more than with some of the other BS I've been fed in my life:

"I don't think there is someone for everyone unless you are willing to settle. Some people are extremely lucky, find that person that they love and that person is willing to take a chance. It's like playing scratch off cards. You will eventually win something but it might not be the jackpot.

I know this isn't the most romantic theory but I've lived a bit and this is what experience has shown me. Just for your personal information, I did find that person but it did not work out. He is really the only reason that I still identify as bisexual since I feel I could not be in love with a man and be a lesbian.

That said I have a girlfriend that I love being with. We work. We click. I do know that we could both live our lives happily without each other but we choose to be together. We are best friends. My relationship with my gf is much healthier than my relationship with my x-bf.

Might you wonder why I say no if I found that person? I have plenty of friends, mostly straight, that have not been lucky enough to find their person. Lots of straight single friends in their 30s and 40s that never found that person. The numbers are definitely in their favor. So no I do not think everyone has someone for them."

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Contrarian Expatriate
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Re: There is someone for everyone - Myth or Fact?

Post by Contrarian Expatriate » April 28th, 2015, 5:29 pm

This is a myth perpetuated by the media, pop culture, and literature, and it is false.

Women, in particular, fall prey to this myth and wreak havoc on men when they get an inkling that the man they are with is not "THE ONE."

We see belief in this in women who marry and divorce different men several times, and men who stalk or kill women whom they truly believe are really "THE ONE."

The fact is that some people do not need to be with anyone, and for those who do need someone, there are hundreds of thousands of suitable partners around the world, not just one.

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jamesbond
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Re: There is someone for everyone - Myth or Fact?

Post by jamesbond » April 28th, 2015, 6:36 pm

Contrarian Expatriate wrote:This is a myth perpetuated by the media, pop culture, and literature, and it is false. Women, in particular, fall prey to this myth and wreak havoc on men when they get an inkling that the man they are with is not "THE ONE."

We see belief in this in women who marry and divorce different men several times, and men who stalk or kill women whom they truly believe are really "THE ONE."

The fact is that some people do not need to be with anyone, and for those who do need someone, there are hundreds of thousands of suitable partners around the world, not just one.
Women believe in the fairy tale that a handsome prince will someday "sweep them off their feet." He is "the one" and he is her "soul mate."

The video below goes more into this myth of women who are looking for "the one."

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xiongmao
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Re: There is someone for everyone - Myth or Fact?

Post by xiongmao » April 29th, 2015, 5:10 pm

After all the dating I did when I was in Asia... there's definitely someone for everyone. Maybe there are lots of possible soul mates out there as well.

For me, finding partners worthy of a long term relationship... that would be tricky.
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Guyver
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Re: There is someone for everyone - Myth or Fact?

Post by Guyver » April 30th, 2015, 4:41 am

xiongmao wrote:After all the dating I did when I was in Asia... there's definitely someone for everyone. Maybe there are lots of possible soul mates out there as well.

For me, finding partners worthy of a long term relationship... that would be tricky.
I challenge you to come to the U.S. and say the same thing after living here for years :wink:
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Greetercb
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Re: There is someone for everyone - Myth or Fact?

Post by Greetercb » May 9th, 2015, 4:39 pm

IMHO The above is a Myth Here at North America. But It is at any one Of The Countries OUTSIDE of North America Like Russia or Brazil or Colombia Etc. Which is THE Places For Someone For Everyone.

Ghost
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Re: There is someone for everyone - Myth or Fact?

Post by Ghost » May 9th, 2015, 8:09 pm

The funny thing is...

That the modern concept of love and "soulmates" is a very recent invention, and almost certainly brought forth for nefarious purposes.

The great tragedy being that before this modern concept of "love," there WAS someone for everyone, as it must be in a system of true monogamy.

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Winston
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Re: There is someone for everyone - Myth or Fact?

Post by Winston » May 10th, 2015, 8:39 am

There may be someone for everyone. But the assumption is that there is only "the one" for you and that that person will be with you forever. Not so. People change and relationships change. Some partners are only meant to be with you for a few years and then you grow apart. Happens all the time, even if you are soulmates. A soulmate can be for a certain period of time. It isn't necessarily forever. That's a myth and false assumption.
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MrMan
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Re: There is someone for everyone - Myth or Fact?

Post by MrMan » May 10th, 2015, 12:26 pm

There may be lots of people out there that you would be compatible with. A romanticized notion of there being 'the one' out there for you, that you magically click with and live happily ever after with is not very helpful. For one thing, if your spouse dies, and that was 'the one', then can't you remarry? Which one is 'the one', the first wife, or the second? What is the second wife, 'the two'?

If you find someone who is a really good match, you fall in love, and you want to marry, you still have to put in some effort to be a good husband and she has to put in some effort to be a good wife. You've got to listen to her talk, take her out sometimes, hug and kiss her, hang the curtains, etc. She needs to respect you, sleep with you, cook for you, etc.

I think most people can find someone to marry if they want. It does help if you aren't unrealistically picky. But even if you are looking for a very specific set of characteristics, there are a lot of women out there.

I was looking for a woman who was a Christian who really loved God, a virgin, with no tattoos, who was freakishly beautiful, slim, and believed she should submit to her husband. I found her. I was living in Indonesia a the time, where it's probably easier to find virgins with no tattoos. Tats weren't as big of an issue in the late '90's. When I came back to the US, it seemed like half the young women looked like they were in motorcycle gangs with the tats and body piercings.

Stag
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Re: There is someone for everyone - Myth or Fact?

Post by Stag » May 16th, 2015, 12:20 pm

It's BS.

I know guys who have zero chance of even getting laid, let alone married. Some of 'em have mental health issues, aren't blessed in the looks dept, or just lack money/social skills, etc.

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Yohan
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Re: There is someone for everyone - Myth or Fact?

Post by Yohan » May 16th, 2015, 2:05 pm

I do not think, there is someone for everyone except if you are willing to travel and to focus on international/inter-racial marriage.

There are some certain guys who have always plenty of girls around them - rich guys, celebrities, braggarts, criminals etc. find easily plenty of women willing to be with them.
On the other side there are frequently nice average men, regular job, no debts, who like to find a girl and are rejected by many women as they are 'too boring' etc.

Might be there is someone for everyone - but to find such a partner is not easy, even not now using the internet. It seems introduction/matchmaker is a good business, therefore there is a lot of scam going on.

There are also regional differences - I never had any girlfriend in Europe even for 30 minutes, but in Asia I met many young women who were interested to talk with me. One major reason for being rejected by local women in my case was my life-style free of alcohol and drugs. Another reason was my family name which sounds somehow funny for a local. No criminal record might classify you as a coward. etc, etc,

Further I do not like the idea to share a girlfriend with other men - in Asia there are still girls and women without boyfriends and they have time to listen to you, but in Europe most women have multiple boyfriends even when they are still minors or before they file for divorce...

Greetercb
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Re: There is someone for everyone - Myth or Fact?

Post by Greetercb » May 16th, 2015, 3:00 pm

To Yohan Have you ever Before Tried Both Russia &/or Ukraine? For Russia & Ukraine is at Eastern Europe & Not Western Europe.

For If You Live at Western Europe Yohan like Germany or England. Then Join The Club for Here at North America it is The Same Problem Also.

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