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It was barely 3 years ago when I posted this..

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Re: It was barely 3 years ago when I'd posted this..

Postby zboy1 » Tue May 05, 2015 2:48 pm

I congratulate you on your impending marriage, S_Parc. Good luck to you and Mel in the future. There's too many bitter people on this forum, so ignore some of them...

If you guys are ever in China, send me a message.
Find teaching jobs in China at http://workabroad.today
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Re: It was barely 3 years ago when I'd posted this..

Postby Moretorque » Tue May 05, 2015 5:32 pm

Yaa good luck.
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Re: It was barely 3 years ago when I'd posted this..

Postby Ghost » Tue May 05, 2015 7:41 pm

S_Parc wrote:
Ghost wrote:Here's the problem as I see it: she still has access to the misandrist system that can screw you at any time for any reason or no reason. Marriage to any WW is dangerous. And all you can respond with here is "she's not like that!" She isn't right now, but people can change, especially women. And if she does change, she's got a gun to hold to your head, whereas you will be entirely defenseless, probably. I'm not trying to dissuade you, but you should realize the danger.


She knows all of the above and we'd started on a prenup, some time ago. A lot of that had to do with her prior experiences with AWs and the fact that it's not to my benefit to tie the knot w/o knowing that she's putting her best foot forward.

In addition, unlike many AWs, she's got a decent career and thus, our salaries will be fairly comparable. So if *she's not like that*, she wouldn't have attempted to protect me, ahead of time.


I don't know about Canada, but in the U.S. prenups are routinely tossed out by judges.
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Re: It was barely 3 years ago when I'd posted this..

Postby Cornfed » Tue May 05, 2015 8:30 pm

Ghost wrote:
S_Parc wrote:
Ghost wrote:Here's the problem as I see it: she still has access to the misandrist system that can screw you at any time for any reason or no reason. Marriage to any WW is dangerous. And all you can respond with here is "she's not like that!" She isn't right now, but people can change, especially women. And if she does change, she's got a gun to hold to your head, whereas you will be entirely defenseless, probably. I'm not trying to dissuade you, but you should realize the danger.


She knows all of the above and we'd started on a prenup, some time ago. A lot of that had to do with her prior experiences with AWs and the fact that it's not to my benefit to tie the knot w/o knowing that she's putting her best foot forward.

In addition, unlike many AWs, she's got a decent career and thus, our salaries will be fairly comparable. So if *she's not like that*, she wouldn't have attempted to protect me, ahead of time.


I don't know about Canada, but in the U.S. prenups are routinely tossed out by judges.

Yes, you need to keep your pre-marital assets completely separate for pre-nups to stick. If she hangs up wallpaper in your house or you use income earned during the marriage to conduct repairs or whatever then it disappears into community property, as she no doubt knows. Furthermore, a pre-nup will not affect child custody and child support. This is likely to be her retirement plan. She probably hates he corporate whore job, realizes she will be downsized anyway as her looks fade, and having a kid or two while married to you is her retirement plan. Don't be just another chump.
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Re: It was barely 3 years ago when I'd posted this..

Postby S_Parc » Tue May 05, 2015 8:49 pm

No need for sarcasm, she's got an inheritance, I don't. Plus, she owns her place, I rent.

Thus, assets are accounted for and full disclosure was done by the attorneys, which includes our retirement accounts. I think she'll be fine if she ever walks out the door, I don't want her condo.
16 years ago, the Best Picture of 1999, "American Beauty", telegraphed the message of Happier Abroad to the world.

Beware of long term engagements with AWs, you may find yourself in a coffin.

AB discussion thread

BTW, despite settling down with an AW, myself, the warning is still in effect.
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Re: It was barely 3 years ago when I'd posted this..

Postby chanta76 » Tue May 05, 2015 8:53 pm

Wait she is former lesbian turn straight? I mean little confused but hey if you think it can work good on you.

For my marriage I did sign a per-nupital only because I had more asset than my wife. Marriage is like a roller coasters from my experience so far..there are high points and low points ..good time and bad..I don't feel lonely and it's great to have someone to talk to but it is hard. wish you luck.
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Re: It was barely 3 years ago when I'd posted this..

Postby S_Parc » Tue May 05, 2015 9:03 pm

chanta76 wrote:Wait she is former lesbian turn straight? I mean little confused but hey if you think it can work good on you.

For my marriage I did sign a per-nupital only because I had more asset than my wife. Marriage is like a roller coasters from my experience so far..there are high points and low points ..good time and bad..I don't feel lonely and it's great to have someone to talk to but it is hard. wish you luck.


Turned, in the sense that it only seems to work with me. She's not in general, attracted to men, otherwise she'd be bisexual and then, we would have gotten together back in college.

I guess in this case, since she wasn't gallivanting around the globe like me and was simply saving and investing, her portfolio is actually better than mine. So yes, the prenup cuts both ways. Remember Madonna and Guy Ritchie, looks like Madonna ended up paying in the end.
16 years ago, the Best Picture of 1999, "American Beauty", telegraphed the message of Happier Abroad to the world.

Beware of long term engagements with AWs, you may find yourself in a coffin.

AB discussion thread

BTW, despite settling down with an AW, myself, the warning is still in effect.
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Re: It was barely 3 years ago when I'd posted this..

Postby The » Wed May 06, 2015 2:12 am

S Parc is in love...
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Re: It was barely 3 years ago when I'd posted this..

Postby Cornfed » Wed May 06, 2015 6:13 am

S_Parc wrote:No need for sarcasm, she's got an inheritance, I don't. Plus, she owns her place, I rent.

Thus, assets are accounted for and full disclosure was done by the attorneys, which includes our retirement accounts. I think she'll be fine if she ever walks out the door, I don't want her condo.

OK it seems I misunderstood. The purpose of the prenup is to allow her to have her cake and eat it by retaining all her assets while screwing you for child support. Got it.
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Re: It was barely 3 years ago when I'd posted this..

Postby droid » Wed May 06, 2015 9:19 pm

Cornfed wrote:OK it seems I misunderstood. The purpose of the prenup is to allow her to have her cake and eat it by retaining all her assets while screwing you for child support. Got it.


Lol
1)Too much of one thing defeats the purpose.
2)Everybody is full of it. What's your hypocrisy?
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Re: It was barely 3 years ago when I'd posted this..

Postby S_Parc » Thu May 07, 2015 1:05 am

BTW, no one with a brain is having kids in America anymore. Since that would mean that they'd be teenagers in 2025-2035, the time where AI/machines will pretty much be the society, it'll be a far cry from the 80s of my youth.

Since I don't have an extended family in Latin America or the Philippines, it's not in my cards.
16 years ago, the Best Picture of 1999, "American Beauty", telegraphed the message of Happier Abroad to the world.

Beware of long term engagements with AWs, you may find yourself in a coffin.

AB discussion thread

BTW, despite settling down with an AW, myself, the warning is still in effect.
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Re: It was barely 3 years ago when I'd posted this..

Postby MarcosZeitola » Thu May 07, 2015 5:45 am

S_Parc wrote:BTW, no one with a brain is having kids in America anymore. Since that would mean that they'd be teenagers in 2025-2035, the time where AI/machines will pretty much be the society, it'll be a far cry from the 80s of my youth.


How does Mel feel about the not-having-kids thing? And how do the both of you feel about relocating permanently? If you expect society to be run by machines and AI by 2025 or 2035, you might want to look for a way out already. Because not only does that sound like a miserable place to grow up in, it also sounds like a miserable place to grow old in.

S_Parc wrote:Since I don't have an extended family in Latin America or the Philippines, it's not in my cards.


You are what, in your mid-to-late thirties? Even without an extended family abroad, you could still make the plunge. Just last week, my wife encountered a young man from my country. He had moved permanently to her little village in the middle of nowhere, with his wife (who does not have a family living in that particular region). They opened a tiny shop together, barely made ends meet, but he was beaming with happiness all the same. I asked her, what does he do all day? Turns out he plays games, talks to his wife, interacts with locals, and inbetween he makes burgers and fries. In the end, he's found freedom and immersed himsef in a new culture. A fresh new start for him and his wife. That's all that really matters to him.

Latin America is pretty big a place too. I don't know about the financial means of you both, but if you want to invest in property, now is as good a time as any because in many of these developing countries, prices are expected to rise massively in the years and decades to come. If you have no issue with growing old in America together, by all means go for it. But since this is HappierAbroad still, try and look into the alternatives to that. ;)
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Re: It was barely 3 years ago when I'd posted this..

Postby Cornfed » Thu May 07, 2015 6:53 am

Perhaps you could explain the reason for marriage. What is the payoff?
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Re: It was barely 3 years ago when I'd posted this..

Postby S_Parc » Thu May 07, 2015 1:31 pm

This is a phenomena, which is hard to describe to those who spend nearly 100% of their lives alone and in some semi-permanent state of rage a/o depression.

Things like the RealDoll are known as a private domain. This is an aspect of life, which no one knows anything about, as it's a secret, and not for public consumption. In fact, I'll bet that the average person wants to hear nothing about it. I'd already written a whole thread on it, so I'll leave it at that.

But then, there's the public side to ppl's lives.

When two people marry, they also join families. So while my father and sister are completely dysfunctional and belong in some psychiatric ward, I do have a cousin who's normal and likes to spend time with my GF's family.

And conversely, Mel's dad is a retired military officer and is a great person. And some of her cousins are quite swell, as well. In a year's time, we'll all be a part of the same family. So yes, I'll finally have the father which I was denied, growing up. At the same time, he knows that his daughter is in good hands, which makes him happy.

In a sense, this is the end of the road for the American century. In another generation, there will not be a concept of family left in America. So this is my chance of having an aspect of it, before it's gone forever.

And along with family, I also get the person. There was a period of time when I was working long hours, while taking a rough course, which had regular assignments. Instead of getting to bed at 4 AM, Mel did those homework assignments for me and I'd gotten to bed at a regular hour, to be ready for work at 7 AM. How many of your GFs put in X hours per week, doing your academic work for you? And she was happy at it, as it also helped sharpen her brain. We make for a good team.

So the question is ... if you don't want to spend the rest of your days alone, basically posting sardonic threads on the 'net, who do you want to spend the rest of your life with? For me, I have my answer.

I suspect that many others will choose the default of being alone.
16 years ago, the Best Picture of 1999, "American Beauty", telegraphed the message of Happier Abroad to the world.

Beware of long term engagements with AWs, you may find yourself in a coffin.

AB discussion thread

BTW, despite settling down with an AW, myself, the warning is still in effect.
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Re: It was barely 3 years ago when I'd posted this..

Postby S_Parc » Thu May 07, 2015 3:04 pm

MarcosZeitola wrote:
S_Parc wrote:BTW, no one with a brain is having kids in America anymore. Since that would mean that they'd be teenagers in 2025-2035, the time where AI/machines will pretty much be the society, it'll be a far cry from the 80s of my youth.


How does Mel feel about the not-having-kids thing? And how do the both of you feel about relocating permanently? If you expect society to be run by machines and AI by 2025 or 2035, you might want to look for a way out already. Because not only does that sound like a miserable place to grow up in, it also sounds like a miserable place to grow old in.


Marcos, what we have is a type of Private Idaho.

We no longer go out on double dates with couples within our age bracket, we only double date with those, a decade older than us. Part of the reason for that is that numerous young couples are dysfunctional a/o jealous of us, because we're well adjusted and natural, something which they can never achieve in life. Thus, we're already more like the prior generation than the one that we're in.

So it's become apparent over time, that we're two unicorns in a field of zebras.

Since we didn't hook up back around graduation (the SciFi 'Outer Limits' parallel reality of her being born straight), it looks like we may have to make some concessions in life, since the perfect scenario didn't occur. And part of that is that it's not feasible to raise children in America, looking forward. Both of us are New Englanders, this is the area where we'd grown up in. It's not like we can ship our kid to a boarding school in Brazil and have a second family there, to take care of him. And Mel's clock is the next few years. Afterwards, it wouldn't be safe for her to conceive, anyways. So while it's reasonable to retire abroad, to get away from the expert systems and robots in the 2030s, but it's not reasonable to have it all.

In addition, one day, this idea sank in with her, when I'd told her that the hardest thing to tell a future son is that he'd never find a woman, as great as his mother. Since Mel's been with women in the past and understands their shortcomings, she saw the truth in it. A child will always be looking at our relationship, and attempt to emulate it for himself. In fact, I knew of a gal, whose parents had the near perfect marriage. She was always disappointed in the relationships in her life, because it had never matched the home she'd grown up in. And this was from years ago, in the future, it'll be a lot worse. Is it worth having a child, going through the struggles of raising him, just so that he can marry an android in the future :?:
16 years ago, the Best Picture of 1999, "American Beauty", telegraphed the message of Happier Abroad to the world.

Beware of long term engagements with AWs, you may find yourself in a coffin.

AB discussion thread

BTW, despite settling down with an AW, myself, the warning is still in effect.
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