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I get it. There are whores and sluts everywhere. And I understand that in the Philippines there are lots of them, for whatever reason (poverty, etc). But I've not been able to read or find any videos or anything that shows normal nightlife. It seems that in the Philippines nightlife = whores.
All I see is old codgers getting with young women who if money wasn't a factor probably would rather go with guys a bit closer to their own age or maybe even a decade older or whatever, or someone that they actually had some real rapport with or something in common. It gets boring after a while. Where's the scene where people go to have a real, sincere good time?
Yes sex is nice but it seems that over there it's way too cheap and to be honest it saddens me to see such attractive, nice seeming girls doing what they're doing. Actually I find it disgusting. People complain about western women being sluts but this is pretty much the same thing, and I think filipinas are better than that. I read recently that there are about 500,000 prostitutes there and I think that's f***ing disgusting.
Is there such a thing as normal nightlife, normal bars or nightclubs where girls go out just to have a couple of drinks and a chat and a laugh and dance and maybe flirt or whatever, but without the whoring? Or are all nightclubs just whore joints? Where do people go to just have a good time and meet other people and just do normal stuff? Where are the normal venues? Do they even exist? Where do the normal women go to have a normal good time? If there wasn't such a demand for sex would all women just stay at home and knit?
If I ever go there, I like the idea of being able to go out for a drink at night and get chatting with some nice girls who aren't whores or sluts.
Filippinos tend to marry young. Do they have a culture for those who aren't involved in night entertainment to keep their virginity until marriage? What about in the villages.
Indonesians are expected to stay virgins until marriage, and I think it's probably the norm for that to be the case. They marry a few years younger than western women in my experience, it seems like. Probably before 25 is a good age for women who go to college, and those who don't can marry younger.
But if an expat in Jakarta just went to karaoke bars with women dressed sexy out front or 'squeeze me' bars in Blok M, he might think being a sex worker is typical of Indonesian females. Jakarta doesn't seem to be a big sex party city like that overall, but there are places for that sort of thing, or so I here.
I had a friend who would entertain foreign colleagues who'd want him to go with them to what he called a 'squeeze me' bar filled with expats and young Indonesian women. The men were just grabbing body parts of the women, which seemed to be expected, and taking women home. He was married and not into that sort of thing, so he just had his secretary stay close so people would assume they were together and not squeeze them. She did not seem to be a naughty girl either, so that worked out for her, I guess. I never went to a place like that, but I did stay at a super cheap local motel up in a town in Sumatera and the owner or manager tried to get me to play 'ciki ciki' (cheeky cheeky) with a prostitute there. A few Chinese sailors showed up. A couple of girls showed up, one a 9 or 10, and the other a slightly chunky 5. Three guys took turns with the one pretty girl (nasty), and the owner of the motel and the prostitute offered her services to me. I told them it was against my religion in my broken Indonesian at the time.
If those sorts of things were my only experience of Indonesia, I might think all the girls were sluts. In a town that has clubs with girls in bikinis dancing around, or whatever, there are also coffee houses, movie theaters, clean karaoke places, and lots of other entertainment establishments that a nice girl might go to for fun with her friends without sleeping around with guys. If you want a woman who is not a slut, don't go to a place where a decent girl would be ashamed to go.
Manila girls, like girls in the villages and just about anywhere, are just people of flesh and blood like all of us. Most people when they are young, develop feelings of sexual lust. The girls in the major cities can have sex with their boyfriends and use protection, avoiding pregnancy until marriage. The girls in the provinces do not have any sex education, don't know a lot about contraception. So when they have their first boyfriends at 16 or 17, many get pregnant and have shotgun marriages.
I reckon the same happens in Indonesia. You cannot really control it, or prevent it. There will always be moments where a girl is unsupervised, if only for a few hours. Try looking after five daughters or more, and making sure they are always home on time and in your eyesight 24\7. Lol, not gonna happen. Teenagers are resourceful, they find ways. Filipina girls are not more slutty then other women, nor or are they less slutty or frigid. They are just hot-blooded, healthy people who like sex as much as the next person.
Parents will urge their children to be careful, to focus on studies first, not to date before a certain age. But they do it anyway because the urge is too strong. Of course not all Filipina's are whores or sluts, that's preposterous. In the small towns, the girls just go to school, and hang out with friends. There are no bars, they just get together and drink a bit. Sometimes, things happen. Poor provincial girls don't have access to birth control easily, so the effects of a little adventure quickly show.
Any country where girls marry young, there's often a catch. Parents, especially in poor countries, are highly focused on their children's education. They see their sons and daughters as an old age security. So they don't really want to see their daughter get knocked up and married young, before she finishes her studies and secures a decent-paying job to help out her old folks. When the son of a richer family knocks up a girl from a poorer family, however, they just pay off the girls family with a pig and be done with it.
The focus on only marrying virgins and importance that is placed on virginity, is kind of preposterous. I understand the sentiment, but it simply isn't realistic. I think there are very few societies in which virginity is widespread past the age of twenty. And when you are poor, broke and far away from the excitement of the big cities, there is so little to keep you occupied. Sex is good a pastime as any. Too many men delude themselves into thinking girls from certain countries or religions are somehow "more pure". But know that even the most devout Christian or Muslim girls don't just go down on their knees to pray.
Its good that somebody started this topic as I was wondering about this myself.
Seems like all nightspots in SEA are infiltrated by working girls of some kind, asian clubbing women dont like idea of being a free slut just for the sake of having fun.
In western cultures girls are encouraged to sleep around,have fun and ONSs, its seen as empowering to sleep with hot or popular guys.in asia it looks like club girls like to be paid for their time with you,they will milk you one either by you buying them drinks or dinners or paying them cash.
Im sure manila must have some normal clubs and bars but these places are upper class where quality girls go in groups, connections are needed, you cant just break into the the social circle and get laid easily.
It seems like some Filippinas I saw in the US and a few Filippinas I saw in Indonesia were a bit more into showing more skin than some Indonesians. Cultural standards can be different, but I'm wondering if that is a pretty common thing in Filippina culture. Are most girls modest in how they dress, or is it common to have high skirts, and low neck lines.
Yes there are normal bars and clubs and live bands. But the girls there are in groups and not there to meet people. Theyre just there to hang with their friends.
I've wondered the same thing though. Where are the filipinas who just want love and sex without payment? Whether lower class or middle class. Maybe you can meet them online on dating sites.
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I'd like to see some examples of that, to get the feel for how they carry themselves. Do you know of any youtube videos? I've tried, but I can't find anything.
Here's the issue, most normal night clubs do not cater to foreigners well, therefore you do not hear about them. Raunchy clubs are usually higher priced and have hotter girls as well so normal girls find it hard to pay the cover or bottle service required, yet alone are allowed to get in. Most people don't like walking into a bar or club and just being that odd lonely guy sitting off to the side. Regular Filipinas are shy and especially timid to foreigners, so I wouldn't expect you to be able to meet many open girls in those settings. Normal clubs in the Philippines are generally crowded with groups of friends or coworkers enjoying a weekend night out together making it even harder to get in with them. You may have some luck in the areas where colleges are located.
As odd as this sounds, you would have better luck with the ladies if you met a couple trusting Filipino guys. This opens up a level of trustworthiness. I'd say a good portion of Filipinas would like to meet foreigners but again, they are timid and shy. Another example that might work is chatting up some of the waitresses during the day at some of the better establishments. Bubba Gumps is one of my favorite restaurants and always has cute girls working there.
Getting out of the main cities and tourist areas always helps as well. You will be hard pressed to find Go-Go bars in the smaller cities and provinces around the country. Prostitution still exists some but honestly you'd have to go looking for it and usually isn't centered around foreigners, or at least Western foreigners.
But really it comes down to how you interact in certain scenarios. If you walk into a bar and just wait for females to come up to you, then you will probably fail. If you swallow your pride and put yourself out there a little, you have at least a decent shot at succeeding.
I'm not talking about women coming up to me. I don't necessarily expect that. I'm just talking about where they go, and then obviously it would be up to me to approach them, if they are that shy. No problem.
A westerner wouldn't necessarily be uncomfortable in a venue that caters to filipinos. Why would they be? It's an experience. Sure, one would stand out, but for me at least it's not a problem. In fact it could work to my advantage. And I certainly wouldn't mind sitting alone until I know my way around and understand the etiquette or whatever.
Or do you mean that a westerner's presence would make everybody else there wonder "what does this guy want?" ?
I like Filipinas, but one of the reasons I haven't dated one yet is that many of them seem overly sexual or sexually loose for my tastes. Filippinas have a terrible reputation around the world for being slutty, as do most White women. So, I've avoided them for the most part.
Why do you think they're slutty? Personally I think it's because of the church and the standard that it sets (giving rise to temptation), and possibly because they observe the whores and bargirls and think to themselves that that's the only way to be sexual, so they act the same. Could that be it? Maybe these things create a big chasm between the 2 sides to a woman's sexuality (madonna / whore). So you've got the church saying be a good girl, and the bargirls possibly influencing them to be sluts. Complete opposites. It seems like a land of extremes.
Last edited by Johnny1975 on May 18th, 2015, 4:48 pm, edited 3 times in total.
My impression is that cities in Philippines are getting 'dark' early, about 9 PM many places are closed, many places are getting dangerous too.
'Normal nightlife' is somehow only limited available and while in Philippines I prefer to be back to my hotel room not later than 9 PM. Sometimes I talk with some Filipinos and other foreigners within the hotel compound, but also at 11:00 PM all is closed there.
Many ordinary young women - far away being rich but not into sex/nightlife - are also afraid of robbery and burglary (not really so much about sex related crimes) and prefer to be in their home with other family members and not be alone out in the streets during late night. At least this is surely true for Cebu City/Mandaue City and with all people I know there personally.
Filipinos are getting often out of their home very early for work and school, often around 5:00 or 6:00 AM. Philippines is not like here in Japan where ordinary business is starting often at 10:00 or 11:00 AM and where during night many people are out in public places.
Last edited by Yohan on May 18th, 2015, 4:57 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Having read many of the OP's comments before, I genuinely think he's a sincere sounding guy. But he's gotta get on a plane and even then get out of Manila and Cebu City. Of course, some Westerner posting on You Tube is gonna show western-style nightclubs, which probably means p4p is involved.
Get out of those two cities (and a few others) and enter what is euphemistically called "the provinces" and you ain't exactly stumbling onto Studio 54. And yet people have been socializing and getting together since the dawn of time. But they're not going to do it in the way people do it (and we all admit, do it badly) in the West.
I was in my wife's provincial hometown a couple weeks ago. No nightclubs for sure - perhaps that's a business opportunity for some ambitious kano It was fiesta time. There seems to be a freaking fiesta about every month in the Philippines. This one was for their barangay. They held a disco at the local school. Everyone was there - I mean the whole town. Young kids to the adults were dancing till the wee hours. My guess is that one or two men managed to find one or two available women lol.
I also agree with hammanta. Make friends with Filipinos or Filipinas and you will be directed to all the "nice" girls you might want to meet. It's a communal culture and everyone knows everything! It's Mayberry and if you befriend Sherriff Andy you're gonna get to know everything. But of course since most Westerners are only on a 2 week sex tour they don't see this aspect of the culture.
A quick story to exemplify, though it has nothing to do with whores and sluts. My wife and I have been looking for homes to buy - not seriously yet but just to get the lay of the land. We are with a couple of her siblings at a local cold spring/swimming spot having a nice time. There are food vendors there of course. A Filipino is talking to the food lady in Visayan. My wife whispers to me, "he is telling her about a house nearby for sale." I tell her to talk to him. She whispers, "He knows English - I am sure." I start talking to him about the house. He pretends not to speak English and talks to my wife. After a few minutes he is comfortable enough with us to speak English to me - fluent and educated English. He told me about the house, how it had changed hands 3 times, what the selling price was each time it had sold, and the fact that right now it was overpriced but worth seeing. Within 15 minutes I knew everything about him and he knew everything about me. We checked out the house and as advertised it was very nice - but overpriced.
My point? You want to find a nice girl or anything else in your town. Meet some nice Filipinos/as. But you're not gonna get it from a video online.
Last edited by davewe on May 18th, 2015, 4:55 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Yeah, that's my view too. The long history of prostitution and go-go bars in the country, the open Philippine culture due to Spanish influence, the dire poverty of most people in the country, and the Catholic church, all make the women there absolutely open to anything, sexually.
Of course, I don't want to bash all Filipinas for being slutty; there's many good girls in the country, too. Most middle to upper class Filipinas definitely don't act that way, but I think there's definitely a reputation around the world and in Asia of Filipinas (mostly negative).
I appreciate the compliment.
Travelling isn't an option for me yet. I'm poor and so I'm trying to make money online from creating information products. Also I have a bit of an issue with anxiety but if I can earn some money I'll try to get out of my comfort zone, and hopefully one day I'll head on over there. But for now, I may as well use my time to find out as much as I can, which means reading and youtube.
Whenever I picture myself living there (either full time or part time), or any other nice country, I always imagine being in a small to medium sized town near a big city, or a suburb of a big city, but not actually in the city itself. I like the idea of being close to things while being slightly out of the way. Manila seems interesting, possibly exciting in some ways, but I'd hate to be in the middle of all that. Maybe Cebu, Davao or Dumaguete.
I'd like to meet a young woman who leans more towards conservative, but fun loving too. Someone who likes to enjoy herself without slutting around. Someone who is flirtatious but decent, and who will make me wait for sex. I think it's so nice when a woman respect herself enough to do that. It's strange, these days sex is so easy to get, but only if you're a thug / player or willing to pay for it.
But ironically, I'd also want some sex on the side (with her knowledge - but not necessarily / exclusively with whores), just to get it out of my system (I'm 39 and I haven't had sex at all in my 30s and I think my virginity has come back - shhhhh, don't tell anyone). But I probably wouldn't do it for that long, I can imagine it getting boring after a while. I think people who do the whoring thing for years and years have something wrong with them.