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Takers vs. Givers

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MattHanson1990
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Takers vs. Givers

Post by MattHanson1990 » June 22nd, 2015, 5:07 pm

After listening to the podcast that featured Winston and Rock, I have now realized that I do not want to be with a taker. I want to be with a giver instead. Remember that petite single mom in Ciudad Juarez I dated? Well, she is kind of a taker, more so than a giver. She was friendlier than most American women and had good family values, but she was desperate and just wanted to jump into a relationship with getting to know me a little. And now I am going to stop seeing her, especially since she now lives in a sketchy part of Juarez. In addition, she was uneducated, and she wasn't really that attractive either. The Tejana I hit it off with in El Paso before I started HA was more attractive (she was like a 6 1/2), and she's working on her bachelor's degree at UTEP. So I am going to stay away from single moms regardless of which country I'm in, but especially the U.S.

I would rather date a giver and not a taker. A giver shows genuine interest in me and likes me for who I am and not for money and material reasons. And also, she would ACTUALLY like to get to know me and not jump right into a relationship super fast. The Tejana girl in El Paso is definitely a giver and not a taker. She wanted to get to know me; she didn't want my money. She and I had intellectual conversations the two times we hit it off in the student union hall at UTEP. As of right now, I just started my fourth trip to Ciudad Juarez, and I will be playing my violin this time. Falcon suggested taking a musical instrument to Mexico because Mexican girls like music.

Hey, at least I was validated in Ciudad Juarez as the petite woman who lived a couple blocks from the hostel I stayed at DID show genuine interest in me. It wasn't like the U.S. where I was completely shut out of the dating scene.




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Rock
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Re: Takers vs. Givers

Post by Rock » June 22nd, 2015, 5:57 pm

MattHanson1990 wrote:After listening to the podcast that featured Winston and Rock, I have now realized that I do not want to be with a taker. I want to be with a giver instead. Remember that petite single mom in Ciudad Juarez I dated? Well, she is kind of a taker, more so than a giver. She was friendlier than most American women and had good family values, but she was desperate and just wanted to jump into a relationship with getting to know me a little. And now I am going to stop seeing her, especially since she now lives in a sketchy part of Juarez. In addition, she was uneducated, and she wasn't really that attractive either. The Tejana I hit it off with in El Paso before I started HA was more attractive (she was like a 6 1/2), and she's working on her bachelor's degree at UTEP. So I am going to stay away from single moms regardless of which country I'm in, but especially the U.S.

I would rather date a giver and not a taker. A giver shows genuine interest in me and likes me for who I am and not for money and material reasons. And also, she would ACTUALLY like to get to know me and not jump right into a relationship super fast. The Tejana girl in El Paso is definitely a giver and not a taker. She wanted to get to know me; she didn't want my money. She and I had intellectual conversations the two times we hit it off in the student union hall at UTEP. As of right now, I just started my fourth trip to Ciudad Juarez, and I will be playing my violin this time. Falcon suggested taking a musical instrument to Mexico because Mexican girls like music.

Hey, at least I was validated in Ciudad Juarez as the petite woman who lived a couple blocks from the hostel I stayed at DID show genuine interest in me. It wasn't like the U.S. where I was completely shut out of the dating scene.
I just can't imagine why you would have much of a problem finding and attracting a quality 18-23 year old girl with no kids unless you are very awkward socially or something. You look just fine. Maybe Mexico is really tough but in much of South America or Caribbean, I think you would have a lot of very interesting options.

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droid
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Re: Takers vs. Givers

Post by droid » June 22nd, 2015, 7:06 pm

Matt, that's why i said in one of your threads that you have to be very careful and not dive head first with the first female that gives you attention. As Americhumps (i'm including myself in that) the previous lack of attention makes us very likely to have low standards and screw up.

To address Rock's point, I'm in Colombia and it's similar, I can't find chix without kids, it's pretty tough.
These girls also have more problems that an algebra book and more issues than Sports Illustrated.
They're in better shape, more polite and caring than AW's, but they also shamelessly talk about their troubles with previous douchebags and their kid's problems, and yet still hope to get some whiteknight to rescue them.

At least from my experience, for an average guy, LatAm might not be worth it.
It might be a better deal for top looking/younger/entertaining guys, who may manage to get the hotter, baggage free girls (necessarily under 22 or so).
1)Too much of one thing defeats the purpose.
2)Everybody is full of it. What's your hypocrisy?

MattHanson1990
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Re: Takers vs. Givers

Post by MattHanson1990 » June 23rd, 2015, 1:42 am

droid wrote:Matt, that's why i said in one of your threads that you have to be very careful and not dive head first with the first female that gives you attention. As Americhumps (i'm including myself in that) the previous lack of attention makes us very likely to have low standards and screw up.

To address Rock's point, I'm in Colombia and it's similar, I can't find chix without kids, it's pretty tough.
These girls also have more problems that an algebra book and more issues than Sports Illustrated.
They're in better shape, more polite and caring than AW's, but they also shamelessly talk about their troubles with previous douchebags and their kid's problems, and yet still hope to get some whiteknight to rescue them.

At least from my experience, for an average guy, LatAm might not be worth it.
It might be a better deal for top looking/younger/entertaining guys, who may manage to get the hotter, baggage free girls (necessarily under 22 or so).
Since Latin American countries don't have welfare systems, I would assume that the U.S. has way more single moms; feminism is also behind the single mother epidemic in America.

MattHanson1990
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Re: Takers vs. Givers

Post by MattHanson1990 » June 23rd, 2015, 1:49 am

Latin America is nowhere near like the U.S. where all the decent women are taken and the only ones single are fatties, single moms, and women with lots of baggage,

Ghost
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Re: Takers vs. Givers

Post by Ghost » June 23rd, 2015, 7:01 am

Definitely avoid single moms. It can be hard to deny attention from women when you haven't had any all your life, but that's attention you definitely want to avoid.

To put it in context, I've made similar mistakes before. But I'm an ugly guy who is limited in what he can get and I'd still never settle for a single mom.

MattHanson1990
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Re: Takers vs. Givers

Post by MattHanson1990 » June 23rd, 2015, 8:24 am

Ghost wrote:Definitely avoid single moms. It can be hard to deny attention from women when you haven't had any all your life, but that's attention you definitely want to avoid.

To put it in context, I've made similar mistakes before. But I'm an ugly guy who is limited in what he can get and I'd still never settle for a single mom.
There are many of us in this movement who haven't even kissed a girl once. I was one of them, until the second time I went to Mexico. I really wanted to feel validated, which did not happen at all in America. My worst years of frustration and loneliness were 2012 - 2014, in big part because my mom suddenly passed away. Ever since then I've definitely been longing for dates. And I was completely shut out of the dating scene. Heck, even a lot of hot girls didn't even want to be friends with me as I wasn't their type. During that time span I was overeating, gained weight, my grades slipped, and boy was I depressed. Then I swallowed the red pill, realizing I had no hope in the US dating scene.

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Re: Takers vs. Givers

Post by Ghost » June 23rd, 2015, 7:29 pm

MattHanson1990 wrote:
Ghost wrote:Definitely avoid single moms. It can be hard to deny attention from women when you haven't had any all your life, but that's attention you definitely want to avoid.

To put it in context, I've made similar mistakes before. But I'm an ugly guy who is limited in what he can get and I'd still never settle for a single mom.
There are many of us in this movement who haven't even kissed a girl once. I was one of them, until the second time I went to Mexico. I really wanted to feel validated, which did not happen at all in America. My worst years of frustration and loneliness were 2012 - 2014, in big part because my mom suddenly passed away. Ever since then I've definitely been longing for dates. And I was completely shut out of the dating scene. Heck, even a lot of hot girls didn't even want to be friends with me as I wasn't their type. During that time span I was overeating, gained weight, my grades slipped, and boy was I depressed. Then I swallowed the red pill, realizing I had no hope in the US dating scene.
Stay strong and keep working towards longer term expatriation. Don't fall for the first foreign woman, either. You've got to get to know a lot of women over time and get accustomed to being outside the social wasteland of the U.S. That will help you make a better decision for a long term mate.

djfourmoney
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Re: Takers vs. Givers

Post by djfourmoney » June 27th, 2015, 10:34 am

As I said in another thread, your going to have to kick up your income a notch even in South America if you wanna find chicks without kids before 30.

Most of those women are educated. The higher the education the population is the birth rates go WAY down IE Western Europe. This is because women (and some men) delay marriage and child birth until their 30's. But what have I been saying about women in their 30's and men in their 30's? Men in their 30's are not interested in women in their 30's, so the women are single longer.

So long they often miss their child bearing window and thus that explains the low birth rates in Europe and among Whites and Asians in America.

In Latin America, you want to find a woman without kids?

Under 25, even if the occasional 23 has two kids.... If your really paranoid, 18-21.

Educated women often don't have children until their late 20's, so most are single right out of college.

Being a White dude this shouldn't be HARD at all, stop going after low hanging fruit.

eurobrat
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Re: Takers vs. Givers

Post by eurobrat » June 27th, 2015, 12:31 pm

djfourmoney wrote:Being a White dude this shouldn't be HARD at all, stop going after low hanging fruit.
But it's so tasty and easy.
Even I'm tempted by the low hanging fruit here in Berlin.

Lots of poor German/Polish/Russian/Romanian/Spanish girls here.

MattHanson1990
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Re: Takers vs. Givers

Post by MattHanson1990 » June 27th, 2015, 8:48 pm

djfourmoney wrote:As I said in another thread, your going to have to kick up your income a notch even in South America if you wanna find chicks without kids before 30.

Most of those women are educated. The higher the education the population is the birth rates go WAY down IE Western Europe. This is because women (and some men) delay marriage and child birth until their 30's. But what have I been saying about women in their 30's and men in their 30's? Men in their 30's are not interested in women in their 30's, so the women are single longer.

So long they often miss their child bearing window and thus that explains the low birth rates in Europe and among Whites and Asians in America.

In Latin America, you want to find a woman without kids?

Under 25, even if the occasional 23 has two kids.... If your really paranoid, 18-21.

Educated women often don't have children until their late 20's, so most are single right out of college.

Being a White dude this shouldn't be HARD at all, stop going after low hanging fruit.
As far as kicking up income goes, it's extremely difficult (if not impossible) to do so in the West, unless you're really lucky. Look at how many men, especially millennial men, are getting shut out of the job market in America.

djfourmoney
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Re: Takers vs. Givers

Post by djfourmoney » June 27th, 2015, 9:15 pm

eurobrat wrote:
djfourmoney wrote:Being a White dude this shouldn't be HARD at all, stop going after low hanging fruit.
But it's so tasty and easy.
Even I'm tempted by the low hanging fruit here in Berlin.

Lots of poor German/Polish/Russian/Romanian/Spanish girls here.
But Russians tend to be well educated, same with Polish the problem is history in Europe especially in the context of WWI and WWII, so locals who don't have to date Russians and Polish women, don't.

Same with Romanians and Spanish women, that so-called "low hanging fruit" is better looking than the majority of German women IMHO so it's not nearly the downgrade as in Latin America, which tends to be low educated and darker skin.

In Colombia what he'll find is lighter skin women that might look better but have the same baggage (low education levels and kids before 25). Mexico I consider horrible for this, Mexico City and large cities like that tend to offer you better choices in the lower end of the economy.

djfourmoney
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Re: Takers vs. Givers

Post by djfourmoney » June 27th, 2015, 9:19 pm

MattHanson1990 wrote:
djfourmoney wrote:As I said in another thread, your going to have to kick up your income a notch even in South America if you wanna find chicks without kids before 30.

Most of those women are educated. The higher the education the population is the birth rates go WAY down IE Western Europe. This is because women (and some men) delay marriage and child birth until their 30's. But what have I been saying about women in their 30's and men in their 30's? Men in their 30's are not interested in women in their 30's, so the women are single longer.

So long they often miss their child bearing window and thus that explains the low birth rates in Europe and among Whites and Asians in America.

In Latin America, you want to find a woman without kids?

Under 25, even if the occasional 23 has two kids.... If your really paranoid, 18-21.

Educated women often don't have children until their late 20's, so most are single right out of college.

Being a White dude this shouldn't be HARD at all, stop going after low hanging fruit.
As far as kicking up income goes, it's extremely difficult (if not impossible) to do so in the West, unless you're really lucky. Look at how many men, especially millennial men, are getting shut out of the job market in America.
Wrong...

Average income in Mexico is around $350-$750 US a month. Are you saying you don't make more than that?

In-fact much of Latin America is in the same predicament. $30,000 US will get you a wife, two kids, dog, cat, two cars and a house.

You can't attain that level?

You can earn that easily in Latin America being a Gringo you are just not thinking hard enough.

PS -

As for Millennials if your both broke and paying back school debt, the playing field is leveled isn't it? The problem is too many men reward certain behaviors, IE a woman in debt is acceptable to most men, he'll play Capt Save A Hoe and bail her out of debt, for which he believes wrongly that she'll be internally grateful.

In other words, a young woman in America despite being in debt is still a viable mate to the majority of men, increasing her dating pool which increases the competition level.

I wouldn't worry about that, far too many Latin women want a baby with light hair and light eyes....

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Re: Takers vs. Givers

Post by Ghost » June 28th, 2015, 7:29 am

Average income in Mexico is around $350-$750 US a month. Are you saying you don't make more than that?

In-fact much of Latin America is in the same predicament. $30,000 US will get you a wife, two kids, dog, cat, two cars and a house.

You can't attain that level?

You can earn that easily in Latin America being a Gringo you are just not thinking hard enough.
How would one make $30K a year in Mexico? Matt is planning to do music, but I don't think that would do it. English teaching is not likely to make more than $15K a year there. $30K may not sound like a lot (depends on where you are from) but a lot of us do struggle with getting to that point. Not that one needs $30K annually to live in most countries.

djfourmoney
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Re: Takers vs. Givers

Post by djfourmoney » June 28th, 2015, 10:09 am

Ghost wrote:
Average income in Mexico is around $350-$750 US a month. Are you saying you don't make more than that?

In-fact much of Latin America is in the same predicament. $30,000 US will get you a wife, two kids, dog, cat, two cars and a house.

You can't attain that level?

You can earn that easily in Latin America being a Gringo you are just not thinking hard enough.
How would one make $30K a year in Mexico? Matt is planning to do music, but I don't think that would do it. English teaching is not likely to make more than $15K a year there. $30K may not sound like a lot (depends on where you are from) but a lot of us do struggle with getting to that point. Not that one needs $30K annually to live in most countries.
Man...

1) Open a business

This is cheap to do in Mexico. Rents are cheap, employees are cheap. Open an internet cafe, lots of people still don't have their own computers. You can open one up and do that while you figure out what else to do when you can no longer make money with the cafe.

One guy got laid off at Dell, eventually lost his apartment. Nothing else to loose, he packed light, took a laptop and crossed the border to Mexico without a passport. He's now a copy writer and has a GF about 10-15 years younger than him. First job he had in Mexico, didn't know Spanish but he got a construction job laying electric cable which he had NO EXPERIENCE doing = Gringo Advantage

This happen less than four years ago

2) Find a way to make money online. You can do service desk from your apartment with a computer. Lots of companies; airlines, credit cards, etc use people that take calls from home.

Another success story

Guy got tired of teaching English and went to work for one of the money call center down in Central America. In less than six months he had made manager of that call center = Gringo Advantage, native English speaker advantage.

Do music? Become a DJ....

You can live well on the average SSI check = $1,500 a month = $18,000 a year in the majority of Latin America but maybe Chile where if you get a nice apartment you'll be paying about $1,500 a month; that said that same apartment would be $2-3K in LA or NYC.

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