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Ren You is a 29-year-old with a Harvard MBA and a job at a private equity firm. He is also someone who does not like to be inefficient and does not want to miss out on opportunities. Those two character traits led You to develop a novel way to find love.
The Birmingham, Alabama, resident is offering $10,000 to anyone who can find him a girlfriend of six months or more. He is accepting applications now on his website, DateRen.com.
“I’ve done dating websites and I’ve met people through friends,” You told ABC News. “I’m sure if I stuck with those ways that, down the road a few years, maybe I’d find someone, but that seems very time consuming and not efficient.”
“I don’t know if this is an improvement,” he said of DateRen.com. “But it’s something new so I thought I’d give it a shot.”
Ren says he is consumed by 12-hour days at work, leaving little time for dating and even less time for fun and relaxation, “the bottom tier items” that “usually get cut.”
“Look at it this way: if you work 12 hours/day, how would you want to spend the few waking hours you have left?,” You explains on DateRen.com. “Probably not standing around in a bar with your fingers crossed. This is way more fun for me.”
The University of Virginia alumni says he received a handful of submission after launching the website earlier this week but now has around 400 potential dates in his inbox thanks to media coverage from around the world.
“Apparently it got picked up by a news outlet in China so I’ve gotten bombarded with a lot of mothers recommending their daughters, which is a new thing ,” You said. “One mom linked to her daughter’s Rhodes Scholar write-up.”
You says his own mom is supportive of his unique approach to love, as is his dad. “They’re’ a little bit a-typical as far as Chinese parents go,” he said. "They’re relatively hands-off and no pressure to get married. Whatever I’m doing is of my own volition.”
You also ran the idea by his coworkers and his bosses before putting himself in the spotlight.
“They’re pretty open-minded and they thought it was hilarious and a creative idea,” he said. “So when this surprisingly got picked up and got back to them, it wasn’t a shock
Instead of listing his most desirable qualities or what he wants in a woman, You says he just wants everyone to know he is a very normal guy who has taken an abnormal approach to hopefully finding love.
This is really sad that some men have to resort to this, paying someone $10,000 just to get a girlfriend in America. Think of how many trips to Asia, South America and eastern Europe he could take with that $10,000. You can read the full article in the link below. He is a good looking guy and in great shape and he has to resort to this.
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"
"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."
It seems his main problem is time, not that he can't meet anyone. He says on his website that he's gone on dates. I do agree that he should focus on finding someone elsewhere though.
There must be really high chances of prostitution stings where he lives.
Look for women who automatically want to please you because it pleases them. Any woman who seeks to please her man is a treasure. Even better if you don't have to ask but rather suggest.
You aren't alone having this viewpoint. The yahoo news comment section proves that.
But it doesn't mean this viewpoint is reflective of the actual situation. Do you actually believe everything he said in his dating CV?
Truth be told, at worst he couldn't get laid at all, or at best he couldn't get laid with quality women.
Of course you won't be seeing him whinging or doling out huge dose of negativity in his public dating CV. The fact that such 'dating CV' even exists is tell tale sign that the world will run out of patience soon. At least a dating CV is way better than mass shooting.
Part of me also think that this might be some sort of secret social experiment. To be honest, it is hard for me to envision he has difficulty dating. This guy can definitely get dates. Unless he is trying to get Victoria Secret angel-type of girls.
Some of those private equity guys make an incredible amount of money. He looks young, so I wonder if he's working his way up or if he just got there early and is earning hundreds of thousands a year. I think of New York when I think of those kinds of high paying jobs, but maybe they have them in other cities.
I have read comments on these forums that online dating in the US gives a lot of power to women, that the women are overloaded with messages and you are lucky if a hefty girl responds to one of your inquiries. Maybe he tried that and decided to set up a situation where he had all the power and the women had none so he could have his pick of dates with girls. Offering $10K is probably not a wise way to week out gold diggers, though. But it has gotten him attention, and he may be able to spend a short time shifting through hundreds of photos, pick out the 9.5s to 10s, ignore the rest, and take a few dozen girls out on dates until he finds one he likes. It's like creating your own version of the bachelor TV show where you have the power. If a man has enough money to do this and not miss it, I can see the appeal.
Maybe one of you guys could do something similar, but offer such a cheesy prize it will get press coverage but doesn't cost much.
MrMan, all I see is the price of a date (not including sex) just got much higher, especially when more men start doing this.
That guy has set a criteria of 6 months relationship as a control to weed out gold diggers and flakers, but the caveat in prodaters doing exactly that for 6 months and then vanish.
The genuine girls will also be very guardful in terms of giving out intimacy, knowing that, as you said yourself, the power has now shifted to the man. How could genuine girls know the guy wasn't doing a sex marathon? How could she know he is simply trying out 10 women but not going to set for anyone?
You see these problems here? It is very difficult for the man to win. But at least this guy is trying.
If he can afford $10,000 for someone to find him a wife, he's going about it the wrong way. Keep the money, and keep saving at your high-paying job. Work on automating income. He sounds like he could possibly make the 4 Hour Workweek life happen eventually. Pound out that cash and ignore everything else for a while. Then freedom is attainable.
A helpful guide:
Expatriation Apocalypse! The Guide to Expatriation for the Broke and Hopeless (Kindle)
Expatriation Apocalypse! (Paperback)
What he is doing:
* Putting higher value on his time than $10K
* Instead of him seeking dates, he is having dates seek him
* Getting a little taste of fame
What he is doing wrong:
* Expecting a girlfriend to tolerate him working 12 hrs/day and never around
* Posting pictures of himself with shifty eyes
* Quoting his mother on the web site
What he should do:
* Hire an image consultant / personal stylist
* Update his wardrobe
* Take better pictures of himself (instead of looking like Asian version of Nixon)
To offer to pay USD 10.000,- for introduction of a girlfriend next door is plainly the wrong way to go.
Such issues like girlfriends cannot be solved solely with money.
There's your red flag ... SoCal region. How many members of the Wilshire Blvd, *Gold Diggers* brigade will such an organization attract?
And finally, what can be worse than having the PUA guy, Dave Wygant, on your team as a dating coach. Everyone knows him to be a weasel.
Seriously, if American millionaires are falling for this junk, then they deserve what they get.
It's one thing to have a rendezvous with let's say a student at Indiana Univ or some other more humble place where gold digger-itis is a percentage of the population vs an area where they're all over the place, screwing producers, directors, and media stars, all hoping for fame or the big bucks.
16 years ago, the Best Picture of 1999, "American Beauty", telegraphed the message of Happier Abroad to the world.
Beware of long term engagements with AWs, you may find yourself in a coffin.
AB discussion thread
BTW, despite settling down with an AW, myself, the warning is still in effect.
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