Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Thurs nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts with FREE Prizes!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE Live AFA Seminar! See locations and details.


Scam free! Check out Christian Filipina - Meet Asian women with Christian values! Members screened.
Exclusive book offer! 75% off! How to Meet, Date and Marry Your Filipina Wife



View Active Topics       Latest 100 Topics       View Your Posts       FAQ Topics       Switch to Mobile


How important is Submission to you in a partner?

Discuss and talk about any general topic.

Moderators: jamesbond, fschmidt

How important is Submission to you in a partner?

Postby MrMan » Sun Jul 05, 2015 10:41 am

I'm wondering how important it is to you men for a woman you date or marry to be submissive to you? Also, please let us know if you are single or divorced? I'm particularly interested in knowing how important you believe it is for the woman you marry or married to be submissive to you?

By submissive, I mean the propensity for a woman to yield to her husbands will, obey him, and go along with him being in charge. I'd say there are two dimensions to submissiveness. One is philosophy, and the other are the personality and character traits that cause a woman to actually do it.

By philosophy, I mean she believes a wife is supposed to submit to her husband, or something along those lines. There are some women who don't really believe much about this but are submissive just because they have the kind of personality to let someone else lead. There are those who believe in it, but find difficulty practicing it, and there are those who believe in it and practice it.
MrMan
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1220
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2014 2:52 am







Re: How important is Submission to you in a partner?

Postby Jonny Law » Sun Jul 05, 2015 9:18 pm

Being Submissive is #1. It is the most important thing for a wife.

Faggots and Maginas would believe otherwise. That is a scientific fact.
Jonny Law
Junior Poster
 
Posts: 698
Joined: Tue May 13, 2014 8:14 pm

Re: How important is Submission to you in a partner?

Postby fschmidt » Sun Jul 05, 2015 9:46 pm

I am against submission. Everyone should think for themselves and stand up for what they believe in. This is the position of the Old Testament. Was Rebecca submissive to Isaac? Moses argued with God. The daughters of Zelophehad argued against Moses and God, and won. Truth beats everything.

What I expect from a wife is that she understands that men and women are different, so a husband and wife should be responsible for different areas. In shared decisions, both sides just need to be reasonable.

I have been married 24 years and my wife isn't submissive at all.
Following the Old Testament, not evil modern culture
fschmidt
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2118
Joined: Sun May 18, 2008 8:16 am
Location: El Paso, TX

Re: How important is Submission to you in a partner?

Postby Adama » Sun Jul 05, 2015 10:28 pm

The Bible commands that women should be in subjection to their husbands and obedient.

For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:

Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.


1 Peter 3:5-6 KJV

There are numerous verses that state women are to be submissive and I 100% agree with Johnny. Submissiveness is THE number 1 trait. Otherwise you might as well marry the enemy. Are you going to take turns as to who gets to be the man or are those roles preselected already? Your choice. Once you defer to her, then you're her woman, then she'll lose respect for you, and then it will be over.
Look for women who automatically want to please you because it pleases them. Any woman who seeks to please her man is a treasure. Even better if you don't have to ask but rather suggest.
User avatar
Adama
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 3949
Joined: Sun Aug 23, 2009 9:37 pm

Re: How important is Submission to you in a partner?

Postby Wolfeye » Sun Jul 05, 2015 10:41 pm

I don't like the idea for her to be submissive. I think a woman like that would probably like a MAN that's like that, for one. For another, there's a whole shitload of problems that can come from that. Supposing I'm not there? Is she going to servile to whoever breaks in? How is that going to impact our kids? I do think that she shouldn't be reflexibiely contentious just to prove she's not submissive or to excite that sense of independence, though. I would say a woman that's situational is important. I don't want to marry an enemy, but I also don't want to marry a slave. I'm not looking to f**k a mannequin, you know?
Wolfeye
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1138
Joined: Sun Dec 29, 2013 6:18 am

Re: How important is Submission to you in a partner?

Postby Adama » Sun Jul 05, 2015 11:07 pm

Wolfeye wrote:I don't like the idea for her to be submissive. I think a woman like that would probably like a MAN that's like that, for one. For another, there's a whole shitload of problems that can come from that. Supposing I'm not there? Is she going to servile to whoever breaks in? How is that going to impact our kids? I do think that she shouldn't be reflexibiely contentious just to prove she's not submissive or to excite that sense of independence, though. I would say a woman that's situational is important. I don't want to marry an enemy, but I also don't want to marry a slave. I'm not looking to f**k a mannequin, you know?


That's extreme thinking on your part. Besides such people don't exist. She's submissive for her man, not anyone else. Submissive doesnt mean imbecile. It just means she knows who's in charge and doesnt try to overrule the man.
Look for women who automatically want to please you because it pleases them. Any woman who seeks to please her man is a treasure. Even better if you don't have to ask but rather suggest.
User avatar
Adama
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 3949
Joined: Sun Aug 23, 2009 9:37 pm

Re: How important is Submission to you in a partner?

Postby Taco » Mon Jul 06, 2015 12:43 am

Jonny Law wrote:Being Submissive is #1. It is the most important thing for a wife. That is a scientific fact.


Very true. Behind every successful relationship is a submissive woman. Unfortunately, most guys don't want submissive women they want sexy women. Sexiness and submissiveness are two traits in women rarely found together, this is true even in the Philippines. Most of the sexy women I've seen in the Philippines rate poor as house wives, mothers and girlfriends.

Before I married my wife I met a Filipina online that was very sexy and liked me. However, I quickly realized she wasn't submissive enough and so I dumped her.

Submissive Women

1. Friendly and polite
2. Don't complain
3. Easy on your wallet
4. Are not attention whores
5. Cook and clean for you without being asked
Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value – zero – Voltaire

We know that the next economic crash (every 7 years) is coming soon, because these crashes are deliberately timed to coincide with the U.S. presidential cycle. – Jeff Nielson
Taco
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 4241
Joined: Sat Jul 09, 2011 4:30 pm

Re: How important is Submission to you in a partner?

Postby Wolfeye » Mon Jul 06, 2015 2:41 am

Adama: I disagree. I figure if she's that style, it'll come out when things are serious. Just like if someone's arrogant, they'll also probably be arrogant behind the wheel- the more people that are in it, the more people that'll get killed in that crash. I figure arrogant people don't tend to catch their own mistakes & aren't real big on people pointing them out (or even saying something that can be implying that they even COULD do something of low quality). Same deal with my idea of being submissive- she'll crumple when shit goes down.
Wolfeye
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1138
Joined: Sun Dec 29, 2013 6:18 am

Re: How important is Submission to you in a partner?

Postby Adama » Mon Jul 06, 2015 3:09 am

Wolfeye wrote:Adama: I disagree. I figure if she's that style, it'll come out when things are serious. Just like if someone's arrogant, they'll also probably be arrogant behind the wheel- the more people that are in it, the more people that'll get killed in that crash. I figure arrogant people don't tend to catch their own mistakes & aren't real big on people pointing them out (or even saying something that can be implying that they even COULD do something of low quality). Same deal with my idea of being submissive- she'll crumple when shit goes down.


It's not a character flaw. It is a choice. Big difference.
Look for women who automatically want to please you because it pleases them. Any woman who seeks to please her man is a treasure. Even better if you don't have to ask but rather suggest.
User avatar
Adama
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 3949
Joined: Sun Aug 23, 2009 9:37 pm

Re: How important is Submission to you in a partner?

Postby Johnny1975 » Mon Jul 06, 2015 7:01 am

fschmidt wrote:I am against submission. Everyone should think for themselves and stand up for what they believe in. This is the position of the Old Testament. Was Rebecca submissive to Isaac? Moses argued with God. The daughters of Zelophehad argued against Moses and God, and won. Truth beats everything.

What I expect from a wife is that she understands that men and women are different, so a husband and wife should be responsible for different areas. In shared decisions, both sides just need to be reasonable.

I have been married 24 years and my wife isn't submissive at all.


Being submissive doesn't mean not thinking for yourself or standing up for what you believe in. Being submissive just means letting the other person lead. Submitting to their leadership. And using ones mind, intelligence and opinions to help the leader to make good decisions, but letting him have the final say. And if the leader abuses his position he gets relieved of his duty. The submissive party is not without power. Mr Spock was not powerless, he was the captain of the Enterprise whenever Kirk was away or whenever he got out of line. It's submission of leadership, not submission of everything.
***** Join my forum for entrepreneurs and aspiring entrepreneurs : *****

http://inspiredentrepreneur.forumotion.com/

And while you're at it...

*** Buy my motherf***ing book NOW!!!!! *** -----> http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00K5ZHTCW

DO IT!
Johnny1975
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1327
Joined: Sat Sep 22, 2012 11:07 pm

Re: How important is Submission to you in a partner?

Postby MrMan » Mon Jul 06, 2015 7:06 am

fschmidt wrote:I am against submission. Everyone should think for themselves and stand up for what they believe in. This is the position of the Old Testament. Was Rebecca submissive to Isaac? Moses argued with God. The daughters of Zelophehad argued against Moses and God, and won. Truth beats everything.


Except for Rebecca, none of those are examples of not being submissive. Do you think Jacob was right to deceive his father? It seems like the lesson is not to imitate Jacob's treatment of his father, but to see how the same sorts of things happened to him that he did to his father, and that in spite of his and his mother's trickery, God was still working things together for His purposes. When Jacob went to stay with Laban, Laban tricked and deceived him in multiple ways. Isaac was blind and Jacob pretended to be his brother. Laban did not give the good-looking wife he'd agreed to for Jacob on his wedding night. In the dark, he swapped out the less attractive sister. That's similar to what Jacob did to Isaac, with his mother's help. Rebecca did submit to her husband on another occasion.

Sarah is also an example of submission, and traditional Judaism does believe that wives are to submit to their husbands. Sarah called Abraham 'lord' (adonai) and God called Abraham her 'lord' (ba'al). She was the type of wife Abraham could tell to cook 35 pounds of flour into bread for three visitors while he handled the cheese and veal.

God also gave husbands the authority to cancel their wives vows, but not the other way around. Ancient Hebrews knew that women were to submit to their husbands. Saul insulted his son once by calling him 'the son of a rebellious woman.'

Moses interceding for Israel was not rebellion against God. You say the 'daughters of Zelophehad argued against Moses', but they went to him as the judge with a case for him, that of women inheriting land if there is no son. Being submissive doesn't mean they can't request their legal rights. An example of people who were unsubmissive were Korah and Dothan and the crowd that actually rebelled against Moses' authority, and the ground opened up and swallowed them after Moses prophesied that it would. The 'daughters of Zelophehad must have acknowledged Moses' authority as a judge. They did not just go out with swords and go all "Killl Bill" on their relatives and just take the land. They submitted to Moses and the legal process.

'Submissive' does not mean not exerting one's rights.

The New Testament lists Sarah as an example of submissive, and I believe Judaism looks at her as an example of submission, too. She did complain about Hagar, but she went to Abraham about it instead of just kicking her out, which is submissive. She followed Abraham's decision. He was in charge and her actions showed that.
MrMan
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1220
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2014 2:52 am

Re: How important is Submission to you in a partner?

Postby MrMan » Mon Jul 06, 2015 7:10 am

Wolfeye wrote:Adama: I disagree. I figure if she's that style, it'll come out when things are serious. Just like if someone's arrogant, they'll also probably be arrogant behind the wheel- the more people that are in it, the more people that'll get killed in that crash. I figure arrogant people don't tend to catch their own mistakes & aren't real big on people pointing them out (or even saying something that can be implying that they even COULD do something of low quality). Same deal with my idea of being submissive- she'll crumple when shit goes down.


A quality marine who gets out of boot camp is submissive. He submits to his commanding officers. The military would not work well without this. That doesn't mean that he can't have ideas, opinion, creativity, and strength. A good sergeant will submit to his lieutenant, but given their level of expertise, he will likely give the lieutenant a number of suggestions. He will likely speak his mind, but his words and actions should acknowledge the authority of the lieutenant. This doesn't make the sergeant weak, a doormat, or lacking in personality.

I'm not talking about submissive as passiveness. I suppose that is one kind of submissiveness, and I did mention that in my post. But that's not my main focus. I'm talking about a woman submitting to her man. Not a woman who just does what every man tells her or what every stranger tells her. That's some kind of personality defect.

A woman can have personality, strength of character, ideas, boldness, even, and still know that she must submit to her husband and have to strength of character and self control over her emotions to do so.
MrMan
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1220
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2014 2:52 am

Re: How important is Submission to you in a partner?

Postby MrMan » Mon Jul 06, 2015 7:26 am

When I was a kid, I saw the Jetson's. George Jetson's boss had this harpy of a wife who'd talk to him on the futuristic TV telephone, giving him an earful. I don't know if any of you have seen 'How to Murder your Wife' with Jack Lemmon and Verna Lisi. Jack Lemmon's lawyer's wife was a bit of a harpy type.

I think a lot of women gravitate toward the harpy type role if they wear the pants or if they try to have an 'equal' marriage. It sure helps if, in her understanding of ethics and values, she believes it is the ethical thing to do for a wife to submit to her husband. I don't think a man should mistreat a woman, be domineering, selfish, or any of that stuff. But if he's in charge, it makes her feel safer and helps keep her out of that harpy mode. In my own experience, my wife being submissive and getting more sex go hand in hand. And I'm not talking about any kind of kinky submissiveness, just every day life attitude.

Submission and respect are closely intertwined. My wife doesn't insult me or call me names, not even joking. I don't do that to her either. I read about wives calling their husbands a-holes or whatever, which is supposed to be joking, but I don't think that kind of disrespect is acceptable in a marriage. Children should honor their parents and should never call them names like that, and wives are to have a respect for their husbands and name-calling goes against that. And men should be protectors of their wives, not call them names, etc.

One of the advantages of getting a wife from certain cultures abroad, such as Asian cultures, is that a lot of these cultures put value on submission and on wives submitting to their husbands. A mistake an American husband could make early on is to overemphasize equality, equal decision making, etc. It's fine to have some of that, but from time to time make it clear that you are making the decision as the husband and make sure she can accept that. It can make her feel safe and protected. Being the one to bear the weight of the family decisions is something you don't want to put on her. She can lose respect for you, and be tempted to harp on you and give you an earful. If a woman doesn't respect you, it's harder for her to give herself to you sexually.

If I were young and looking for a wife again, I'd certain have submission up there as a high priority. I did check my wife's beliefs on that. I think I could have done a better job of setting the boundaries early on just by the way I interacted with her to reinforce the idea that I would be the boss and what behaviors I respected as far as respect go. We've had to recalibrate. She got disrespectful pretty badly for a time when she was really hormonal. I prayed about it, a long (mental) list of prayer requests, asking God to speak to her about it. She told me a couple of days later that God had spoken to her about this stuff, and went through those things I'd prayed to God to speak to her about that related to our marriage, including submission related issues-- detailed stuff. She touched on nearly every issue I'd prayed that night, though she told me over the next few weeks that He'd spoken to her about a couple of other things from my other two requests. That recalibrated things in our marriage after she repented. But I also realized I had to set boundaries as far as the behaviors I wanted in terms of communication, etc. to fine tune some things. I think it's a man's responsibility to give her a little emotional nudge now and then if she gets off course in showing respect or being submissive.

If you are dating a woman, thinking of marrying her, you can let her know what you expect. If you have an Asian girlfriend, you can mention several times throughout the relationship that you are looking for a wife who will obey you, who will have sex with you X times a week (or day), who will cook, clean, etc. In Indonesia, when it comes to career decisions as to whether to move for a man's job or a woman's, usually the answer is something like 'ikut suami, lah'-- 'follow the husband, of course'. If you have the way she is raised in favor of you being in charge later (and her being respectful and not stressed out as a result of it) that's a big plus. You then only have to deal with her natural spunkiness and personality when it comes to submission issues. You have to set some boundaries and point it out if she crosses them. But if she's from a feminist culture, you'd have an uphill battle of deprogramming her feminist beliefs, or just being so uber macho and alpha that you override that stuff, and that doesn't come naturally for a lot of men, or the feminist culture hasn't trained us for it.

I also think if you take the same woman and you put her in a marriage with a guy and he doesn't set any boundaries and expectations and keeps emphasizing "We make decisions together" versus the same woman and the same woman in a relationship where he makes it clear, kindly, that he is in charge and that he has expectations, you can have very different outcomes. The woman with the wimpy western guy may end up ruling the roost, showing disrespect to her husband, not sleeping with him unless she feels like it, which may not be much if he's wimpy. But if he's got his act together, and is responsible, and he's in charge in the relationship and has expectations in terms of respect and sex, he could be well respected in his marriage, get plenty of sex, and have a hot meal waiting for him on the table. It depends on the woman, but I think this could be the case in a lot of marriages with emotionally stable Asian women from cultures where the man is supposed to be in charge. If the husband fulfills this expectation, that's low stress for her. She respects him, and therefore speaks kindly to him, respects his decisions, and has sex with him often.
MrMan
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1220
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2014 2:52 am

Re: How important is Submission to you in a partner?

Postby Johnny1975 » Mon Jul 06, 2015 7:51 am

I think it's a good idea to come up with rituals to reinforce submission. i.e. telling her to tell you every morning "thank you for being my boyfriend / husband", and thanking you after sex. Or buying her a necklace or bracelet with some words inscribed on it to remind her of her role. Domestic disciple (spanking) is also a very good idea.

And this too :

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2icrQX6Yjac[/youtube]
***** Join my forum for entrepreneurs and aspiring entrepreneurs : *****

http://inspiredentrepreneur.forumotion.com/

And while you're at it...

*** Buy my motherf***ing book NOW!!!!! *** -----> http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00K5ZHTCW

DO IT!
Johnny1975
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1327
Joined: Sat Sep 22, 2012 11:07 pm

Re: How important is Submission to you in a partner?

Postby Ghost » Mon Jul 06, 2015 12:13 pm

She should submit to her husband's leadership. Doesn't mean she can't have opinions or think about things. She should be submissive in the sense that she obeys her husband's decisions. Also doesn't mean she has to agree. And she can express her opinion, and he should listen, but the husband should make the choices.
Ghost
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 5749
Joined: Sun Apr 17, 2011 1:23 am

Next

Return to General Discussions

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Yahoo [Bot] and 2 guests