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The simplest answer I give when someone says "you shouldn't marry a woman from a 3rd world country" is - then by all means don't. It's certainly no sweat off my nose.
OTOH, as someone who actually has married a Filipina I would add:
I know at least 100 Fil-Am couples in my city, all of whom are successfully married and seem happy. Of course happiness is a subjective judgment: maybe she is happy with her improved lifestyle and he is happy at the daily incredible sex he gets from a slender and hot young girl
OK I do know one guy who divorced his Filipina wife but he's a bit of a dumbass, and she was a former bar girl. He eventually married another Filipina who is so sweet and so hot it's not to be believed.
And to state what seems obvious, anyone who thinks most Western wives aren't interested in money and status is delusional. Try losing your job and going on unemployment and see how she reacts
Check out my blog @ http://www.marriedafilipina.com
I think marrying a poor or lower middle class girl from a developing country probably has advantages over marrying a rich girl. My wife grew up working hard, helping with the family business from a young age. She learned to be a hard worker. My mom grew up working hard. She said her dad couldn't stand it if the kids weren't working on something. My wife was probably quite a bit poorer than my mom. I wouldn't say she was poor.
At least in the Indonesian context, if you marry a family with a bit of money, the kids probably grew up with a maid who hand washed their clothes. My wife grew up washing relatives clothes. It taught her to work all the time. She wasn't spoiled by getting to tell a maid to do everything.
Maybe there is an ideal balance between growing up mal-nourished and growing up not working. But I'd rather have a wife whose parents raised her to work hard than one who grew up playing video games and playing with a cell phone all the time.
Let me just give away the farm here. This process has gotten very simple (thanks to the internet). Keep track of all the legit sites (based on the region too of course). POF, Cupids, freepersonals.ru, social networking (in spanish, vk if that's your thing, etc).
With the personals the women that are catches won't be around long. You better have good photos and a nicely filled out profile. You need to do a daily search for new members on all the sites you have memberships for (no site should cost more than $25 a month, most should be free). When you see that rare fish in the sea you pounce with a well written (long) message sent in both languages.
It's that simple.
I think it's a bad thing to marry a woman who is too money-motivated. But there is a natural desire for a woman to want to be provided for. If a man wants to have a traditional type marriage where the wife stays home, cooks the food, takes care of the kids, etc. Asia is a good place to look. A lot of the women will go out and work a job and still see it as their role to take good care of the home.
They say that Americans who marry Filippinas have 20% divorce rates. Now some of these guys are not selective at all and marry bar girls and good-time girls or get hooked in by some kind of scam artist. But I think most Filippinas who marry an older financially stable (compared to local standards) guy are going into marriage for the long haul.
But a lot of western women divorce about 50% of the time, take the kids and the court gives them child support. They may marry because they feel like they 'fell in love.' But some of them divorce because, "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." They want to find themselves. Or the husband has a full-blown affair, flirts with girls on facebook, or develops a substance abuse or gambling problem. That stuff happens, too. Sometimes the woman cheats.
Some of these Asian women have some practical standards for who they will marry in terms of provision. But they may think more in terms of getting married and loving their husband. Western women think of falling in love and then marrying. I think the first makes more sense, and here is why. If a woman's marriage to you is based on her emotional state of being 'in love', that's really a shaky basis for the marriage. Some women think like that. They think of 'in love' as a certain excitement they have, the feelings of a new relationship. If the feelings go, she decides he was not really 'the one' and wants a divorce. But if a woman thinks she should marry a good match and then love him, she realizes she must commit to her husband. Realistically, a lot of Asian women will want both, loving feelings before marriage, but also commit to the relationship and to love their husband later. There are also western women with a mature idea of love who realize that marriage takes commitment, too.
I think it's better to marry an Asian woman who is selective about a man being a provider who is willing to marry some established older provider who will keep her from a life of poverty, but she really commits and spends the rest of her life loving him, cooking for him, regularly having sex with him, and serving him in all the ways a wife should, than it is to marry a western woman who truly feels like she is in love with him before she marries him, puts her career on an equal level with his, expects him to do half the housework, has sex only when she feels like it, and divorces him when she feels like she is not 'in love' anymore and uses the courts to squeeze him for half his wealth and for on-going child support payments to support the kids she took from him. Some people say Filippinas are just out to scam a man for a greencard, but if we are wanting to impute ill motives, but if only 20% of Filippinas married to Americans divorce them, and half of whites divorce (with 65% of no-fault divorces filed by women), who are more likely to be the scam artists, the Filippinas or the girls from home?
+ 1. Bravo. Totally agreed.
Plus most marriages in the world are arranged. And most world's population is in the 3d world.
The only problem I have with Filipinas is that many start asking for money before you are even her bf or husband. Drop those like a sack of crap if they do that.
A brain is a terrible thing to wash!
I disagree..... I don't think money has as much to do with it as you think. I think the problem is the way American culture worships and props up women. A woman who lives in another country may not have any idea how attractive she is but if she came to the U.S she would realize how high her sexual market value is and become a stuck-up bitch. So I don't think it's so much a matter of women coming here and making money and being less nice because they don't need a sugar daddy. It's a matter of them coming to a country where thin and attractive girls are getting rarer and rarer and being swarmed by thirsty guys and getting a giant ego as a result. I say this because I have talked to many Russian women online that are very attractive but view themselves as plain or average. I really think alot of these women don't realize the power they have until they come to the west.
Actually this quite a bit reminds me of the overly dramatized and polarizing comments that feminists often make. Most people think that you actually buy a foreign woman. They will ask you, "So you're going to go buy a girl from Peru?" As if you can really purchase a person, but people believe this.
They also use this term Mail Order Bride. As if you can just send a check in the mail, and then the girl hops on an airplane and then arrives at your house, like she's merchandise.
Saying that women in rich countries love men for themselves, while also saying that women in poor countries only want men for the lifestyle, is exactly the same. Overly simplified, Western-centric, feminist thinking.
It's right up there with someone saying you're buying a woman, or you're a pedophile for dating a short Asian.
I'm not accusing the original poster of being a feminist. I'm not making any judgment about the OP at all. I am just saying. The thought patterns are the same.
Feminists generally are about as sexist and racist as you can get. Personally I believe in doing what I want and ignoring them, but if you wish confront these women directly. You can go to Latin America and date a successful woman with a B visa. Then when you get called out just let the bitch know that your woman makes more money than her.