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Can a Man Ever Just Be Friends with a Girl?

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Can a Man Ever Just Be Friends with a Girl?

Postby Tsar » September 16th, 2015, 1:19 pm

I've heard some members write that men can't ever just be friends with a girl. That if a man is a friend with a girl it means he's interested in her for more than friendship. Is that true? I'd like to know what everyone thinks on the topic.
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Re: Can a Man Ever Just Be Friends with a Girl?

Postby MarcosZeitola » September 16th, 2015, 1:22 pm

Before I got married, my wife was my best friend. She was the only female friend I ever had that I trusted fully, that I had conversations with as deep and meaningful as with my best male friends. We had chemistry. Our friendship evolved. I discovered that, like myself, she is a very sensual person with a rich imagination. Things escalated. Friendship became lust, lust became love. I haven't looked back ever since.

You can have female friends... but when there is any degree of mutual attraction, things will happen. My wife and I are still best friends, for the record. ;)
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Re: Can a Man Ever Just Be Friends with a Girl?

Postby Banano » September 16th, 2015, 1:37 pm

Having sexy only deepens relationship or friendship, it doesnt destroy it as media wants you to believe. Its a step up.

I had female friends that I f***ed and we remained friends for years
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Re: Can a Man Ever Just Be Friends with a Girl?

Postby gnosis » September 16th, 2015, 6:07 pm

It's possible to be "just friends."

Some girls can be fun to talk to, but you know you're not interested in anything other than a casual friendship.
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Re: Can a Man Ever Just Be Friends with a Girl?

Postby S_Parc » September 16th, 2015, 6:30 pm

In reality, no woman wants to bang her brother. That's the essence of the whole, *why can't men and women be friends* argument.

And I disagree with Banano. For the most part, banging is just banging. It seldom has to do with deepening a friendship.

Sure, there are the 'Mels' in the world but those women are rare.
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Re: Can a Man Ever Just Be Friends with a Girl?

Postby Teal Lantern » September 17th, 2015, 2:31 am

Tsar wrote:I've heard some members write that men can't ever just be friends with a girl. That if a man is a friend with a girl it means he's interested in her for more than friendship. Is that true? I'd like to know what everyone thinks on the topic.


Can't ever? I disagree. At various points in your life, certain girls can be GREAT friends. :mrgreen:
Examples:
    She works at the burger joint you like and your order of "small fries" regularly gets upgraded to the "Extra! Bigass! Fries!", no additional charge, or you get one more side item than you paid for.

    She works at the pizza or donut place, where they let the employees have whatever isn't sold by end of shift.

    Last semester, she took (and aced) a STEM class you're taking this semester -- and saved her notes & exams.

    Has her own car and is willing to run a few errands for you, or let you borrow hers while yours is in the shop.

    Her employee discount would save you a bundle on that big flat screen or new console you want.

    She'll type up that term paper for you, gratis, so you can catch up on some badly needed sleep.
So on and so forth... and since they're all "just friends", they can't complain that you have more than one.
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Re: Can a Man Ever Just Be Friends with a Girl?

Postby Ghost » September 17th, 2015, 6:07 am

As long as there's no attraction on either side, then sure. I have one female friend.

Still on a completely different level than male friends of course.
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Re: Can a Man Ever Just Be Friends with a Girl?

Postby Yohan » September 17th, 2015, 8:11 am

Tsar wrote:I've heard some members write that men can't ever just be friends with a girl. That if a man is a friend with a girl it means he's interested in her for more than friendship...


It works always in both directions, never only from men to women, this is feminist rhetoric to blame men for everything.
Only men are interested in women, but never women in men?

I think, yes, you can be friend as a man with a woman, married or not does not matter, if BOTH have something in common EXCEPT a sexual relationship. For example studying something together, or being active in any charity etc. etc.
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Re: Can a Man Ever Just Be Friends with a Girl?

Postby skater » September 18th, 2015, 2:09 am

Nope, have you guys never heard of the Ladder Theory?
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Re: Can a Man Ever Just Be Friends with a Girl?

Postby Ghost » September 18th, 2015, 3:38 am

I should add that while possible, it's very unlikely because if a man tries to befriend a woman it is almost always because he wants her romantically. You don't exactly see many guys trying to make friends with ugly women, though it does happen. It's very unlikely from the woman's side of things because women almost always make male friends in order to have them as utilities. Those computers won't fix themselves...
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Re: Can a Man Ever Just Be Friends with a Girl?

Postby Tsar » September 18th, 2015, 3:59 am

Ghost wrote:I should add that while possible, it's very unlikely because if a man tries to befriend a woman it is almost always because he wants her romantically. You don't exactly see many guys trying to make friends with ugly women, though it does happen. It's very unlikely from the woman's side of things because women almost always make male friends in order to have them as utilities. Those computers won't fix themselves...


That's what I think is very true.

Everything in the world is basically a transaction. Machiavellian types believe that everyone essentially wants something from someone or there wouldn't be any relationship. It's very unlikely a man would befriend an attractive woman just to only be a friend (physical attraction=desire for sex), and it's unlikely she would just want a male friend for the sake of having one (she would want free dinners, activities, etc. maybe a backup boyfriend. easy freebies for her).

The ladder theory also seems to be correct.
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Re: Can a Man Ever Just Be Friends with a Girl?

Postby Ghost » September 18th, 2015, 4:33 am

Tsar wrote:
Ghost wrote:I should add that while possible, it's very unlikely because if a man tries to befriend a woman it is almost always because he wants her romantically. You don't exactly see many guys trying to make friends with ugly women, though it does happen. It's very unlikely from the woman's side of things because women almost always make male friends in order to have them as utilities. Those computers won't fix themselves...


That's what I think is very true.

Everything in the world is basically a transaction. Machiavellian types believe that everyone essentially wants something from someone or there wouldn't be any relationship. It's very unlikely a man would befriend an attractive woman just to only be a friend (physical attraction=desire for sex), and it's unlikely she would just want a male friend for the sake of having one (she would want free dinners, activities, etc. maybe a backup boyfriend. easy freebies for her).

The ladder theory also seems to be correct.


Having a give and take isn't inherently bad. It's how natural systems work - there is give and take in balance. The problem is not in that, but in the system being unbalanced to the point where one side (females) are taking everything from the other side (men.) Ditto for parasitic friends.
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Re: Can a Man Ever Just Be Friends with a Girl?

Postby Teal Lantern » September 18th, 2015, 7:29 am

skater wrote:Nope, have you guys never heard of the Ladder Theory?

Of course we have. Now, put a few 5/10s or 'hot, but cray-crays' on the 'friend' ladder, and LEAVE them there. :lol:

OP asked was "friends with a girl" possible. Answer: Sometimes. Examples already provided.
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Re: Can a Man Ever Just Be Friends with a Girl?

Postby Wolfeye » September 18th, 2015, 10:00 am

Yes, but if she's hot he'd sleep with her if she was to start things up. It's not always with motive or deceit, it's just that it would almost definitely be an interest if it became a possibility.
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Re: Can a Man Ever Just Be Friends with a Girl?

Postby HouseMD » September 18th, 2015, 1:27 pm

Yeah. I've got plenty of female friends, many of whom are married our soon to be married at this point, that I really don't have an interest in. While I have slept with a few of them in the past, many I haven't and wouldn't ever consider. One thing that can't really happen though is going from dating back to friends- once you cross that threshold, 99% of the time, there's no going back.
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