Ghost wrote:It does involve emotion, which is not the same as feeling. There is a difference.
I would like you hear how you define these differences.
Ghost wrote:Do you discount your own emotions? Do not think for a moment that you do not. It is far too easy to speak as a determined emotionless psychopath, but to act in such a way? Quite another story my friend. If you truly think you are without emotions and wish to discount them, then go right ahead, but though I've never met you I think I know you better than that. Being what you are, if you venture into the territory of psychopaths and try to beat them at their own game, you will fail miserably. Feelings don't matter. Emotions have a place.
By discount what do you mean? They exist and I acknowledge them but I don't categorize them as logic. I'm not ruled by my emotions like a woman. I employ something along the lines of an instinct where I need it, such as in design. I'm sure you have a similar process in writing. But If I hate my boss I can still get work done and not be overwhelmed with the need to kill him. Just because someone doesn't express an emotion doesn't mean they don't have it. I have some level of control over not expressing every emotion I have. You're the one who's insinuating I'm an emotionless psychopath or want to be one. Being direct and abrasive doesn't mean you're a psychopath. I would think from living in China that you would understand things like directness are more common outside the US. I have brutally direct conversations every week in my Chinese company and at the end of the day we're all still on "good terms". They would be baffled if we had a falling out every time we disagree. I've also seen orthodox Jews yelling at each other about what's a Sabbath violation and what's not when I attended a synagogue for two months.
Ghost wrote:Regardless of how you wish to justify it,
What do you mean by justify? I'm not trying to justify anything. I acknowledge that you think differently. I'm not trying to convert you to how I think. All I've ever done is told you where I stand.
Ghost wrote:there is also such a thing as tact and manners,
Tact and manners varies from culture to culture. Chinese can't even form a single file line without looking like a bunch of animals, but this is normal to them. Israelis by American standards are basically natural born assholes (I met a few in the synagogue I attended). I've only been to Japan once and they were the complete opposite of China. I don't know where I fall on this spectrum. I'm probably more direct than your average American but certainly less than an Israeli or Chinese person. I don't find it pleasant to be around everyone but I also don't solely disqualify a person for how they talk to me. I can value substance of what a person has to say even if it's presented in a way I disagree with. I'm willing to compromise and listen. I will take a direct honest person over a lying salesman or some neutral fluff who can't make up his mind. I use to work in a slick politically correct silicon valley company and there definition of tact and manners was saying something nice to your face and then trying to fire you behind your back.
Ghost wrote:along with recognizing who is on your side
I clearly recognize who is on my side and you're not on it. You don't like that I'm making a clear boundary, but that's exactly what tribalism is. Christianity doesn't have this boundary and that's why their side isn't clear. That doesn't mean we need to be enemies and kill each other. I don't view you as an enemy, though you may view me as one. I sympathize with a lot of other tribes and people out there. I like Orthodox Judaism and Islam but they're not also not on my side. I certainly don't consider the entire Manosphere to be "my side".
Ghost wrote:and who a friend is.
I've seen the word friend used a lot. Americans use the word friend to mean something very shallow, like a drinking buddy. As long as both people mirror each other's opinions theres a semblance of a connection. Most Americans cannot yell at each other or disagree and still be friends. I have a Chinese friend who yells at me all the time and I yell back at him. It took me a while to appreciate that being direct and critical is his way of expressing genuine care, where as in America criticism is seen as betrayal. You can think of me however you want Ghost.
Ghost wrote:Most of your words are spoken without experience - a man who has never had friends. I mean real friends, present physically in his life. If you had, I doubt you would say what you do.
You seem to know a lot about me even though we've never met or even spoken over the phone or shared any real depth of history. I've certainly had people use the word friend around me all over my life. These same people all never lived up to my Chinese friend like I mention above. I consider everyone in my current tribe more or less a friend.
