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Criteria for a Wife

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Criteria for a Wife

Postby MrMan » Sat Dec 26, 2015 7:17 pm

I'm a happily married man. But looking back at a diary of sorts, I can see that in my 20's, when I met my wife, I had some pretty good criteria for what I wanted, though my thoughts on this issue weren't as well thought out as they are now.

Here are some criteria I had and/or would suggest.

For me,
1. She has to be a serious sincere Christian.
2. A virgin.
3. Physically attractive-- to me. I was looking for what I'd consider a 9+. Thin.
4. Believe in submission to her husband.
5. Got to love me.
6. Want to cook, clean, care for husband.
7. Easy to get along with.

If I were to be young and single now knowing what I know then, I'd probably put a lot more detail. I'd be interviewing a woman on a number of issues. I'd discuss sexual expectations after marriage more thoroughly. After a while, when we discussed marriage, I'd say things that were a bit more aggressive about me being in charge to set expectations and to gauge her reaction. Then I'd look for an opportunity to be really assertive and to put my foot down early in marriage when she's still feeling out the boundaries. I wasn't firm enough about this stuff at first and had to try to recalibrate later.

My wife is Indonesian, and a lot of things I was looking for was culturally assumed. Women are supposed to cook, clean, take care of the home. They didn't have a lot of propaganda from local TV and education arguing against these things. Virginity before marriage is a cultural norm, there.

My wife was thin when I married her and I think she has some kind of skinny genes. Her dad is the thin type, and I think she inherited that. A woman can be mildly pudgy and attractive. But what is that going to look like at 40?

Of all my criteria, looks are probably the least important thing. You get used to how someone looks after time. I still appreciate my wife's good looks, but if I'd married a less attractive woman and slept with her for years, I'd probably still be happy sleeping with her years later. But it would have been hard for me to get over the looks hurdle to do that, if possible at all. So I'm glad I was blessed with a beautiful wife.

It also helps that we could both perceive God's divine hand in putting us together, from telling us things about each other, to answering prayers, to receiving a prophecy about us after I'd decided to propose that confirmed what I was doing, we were appreciative of his help and guidance. I still did my due diligence on my end to see what kind of woman she was, and I'm sure she was doing hers.

I notice something particularly foolish about American culture when it comes to dating and marriage. Some people think you are supposed to be with someone if you are 'in love' and just base it solely on feelings without even considering with their brains that God gave them, whether the other person is a good potential spouse, parent, or a good match for them personally. It makes no sense whatsoever.
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Re: Criteria for a Wife

Postby drealm » Sat Dec 26, 2015 8:49 pm

- Meat eater
- 18-22 years old
- white/castizo
- attractive face
- average or skinny body weight
- shorter than me
- willing to not work
- willing to move to usa
- native spanish speaker
- no law students
- no divorced parents
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Re: Criteria for a Wife

Postby Hero » Sat Dec 26, 2015 9:55 pm

No tattoos
No body piercings except ears
Athletic
pretty
At least 5'2''
No older than 35
Cheerful personality
Not a total idiot
Good with money
Willing to do household chores
Healthy libido
No kids
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Re: Criteria for a Wife

Postby Cornfed » Sat Dec 26, 2015 10:11 pm

Ideally you'd want a teenaged virgin, as well as those other things.
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Re: Criteria for a Wife

Postby Ghost » Sun Dec 27, 2015 6:07 am

The solution is simply never get married. No wife, no strife, no problems in life.

Wife material is a fantasy. A modern day myth. A unicorn.
Last edited by Ghost on Sun Oct 23, 2016 11:22 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Criteria for a Wife

Postby Adama » Sun Dec 27, 2015 3:24 pm

The only thing you really need to concern yourself with is whether or not she is submissive to you. If she is submissive to you, you can work out practically any problem. And if you want her to learn how to cook or to become a believer in Christ, well then she will probably figure out a way to get it done.

Society tells us that it is the man's job to please the woman, but that is submissive behavior, and if you try it, you will lose. But if you stand up and be the man, many women will respect that automatically, even the ones who think they are equal. They will fall in line, try to please you, and follow what you ask of them.

But if you get one of those women who will not do as you ask, then you will never have peace, and she will treat you with contempt. She will never appreciate you, and you will have to rely on her ability to be a righteous person in every situation, rather than knowing that she respects you and relies upon you.

Many of the things on your lists go without saying. You don't have to say them. Of course you do not want a woman who's extremely short, or fat, or who has tattoos. You don't even have to mention that. Of course you don't want a woman who has been trained to be an adversary, also known as an attorney. Of course you want a woman who is pretty.

Believe it or not, I do believe that God has written it on our hearts, and I do believe He knows what is best for us. So it is He who will bring the right type of partner to His sons. So you don't even have to worry about your list. I mean you should make sure she conforms to your list, but I don't think you need to make a long list of must haves. Everything should fall into place.
Look for women who automatically want to please you because it pleases them. Any woman who seeks to please her man is a treasure. Even better if you don't have to ask but rather suggest.
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Re: Criteria for a Wife

Postby Hero » Sun Dec 27, 2015 6:54 pm

Oh, I forgot to mention: she should enjoy a companionable silence. Can't stand women who talk too much.
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Re: Criteria for a Wife

Postby jamesbond » Sun Dec 27, 2015 11:02 pm

Ghost wrote:The absolutes for me include these standards:

-Must be a virgin


That eliminates almost all American women. Thank goodness there are women in foreign countries who still believe in waiting until they are married before they have sex.
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"

"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."
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Re: Criteria for a Wife

Postby S_Parc » Sun Dec 27, 2015 11:19 pm

jamesbond wrote:
Ghost wrote:The absolutes for me include these standards:

-Must be a virgin


That eliminates almost all American women. Thank goodness there are women in foreign countries who still believe in waiting until they are married before they have sex.


I may be the last guy, marrying an American virgin.
16 years ago, the Best Picture of 1999, "American Beauty", telegraphed the message of Happier Abroad to the world.

Beware of long term engagements with AWs, you may find yourself in a coffin.

AB discussion thread

BTW, despite settling down with an AW, myself, the warning is still in effect.
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Re: Criteria for a Wife

Postby Ghost » Mon Dec 28, 2015 10:28 am

Virginity is one of the most troublesome standards because it can be faked (hymen restoration surgery - although there are other ways to determine if she is a virgin) and because there are so few that are accessible to foreigners. The worst women in a given country will gravitate to foreigners first. Just get on, say, dateinasia.com and you can see the result of that. You have to really give it your all if you're looking for a virgin wife. And that's really just with Asia in mind. Going European? Keep dreaming.

Virginity is a prerequisite, but it alone isn't sufficient. I have found virgins before and there were fatal flaws with them. Two examples: too old or too crazy.

Some standards (like looks and weight) aren't set in stone for me because those things can be changed, at least somewhat. They don't need to be prerequisites either for the same reason.

Some guys get mixed up with what they should look for in a hooker with what they should look for in a wife.
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Re: Criteria for a Wife

Postby IraqVet2003 » Mon Dec 28, 2015 3:27 pm

Here's my criteria for a wife: (What I'm attracted to)

1.) Slim, curvy, or toned

2.) Height weight proportionate

3.) Long natural hair

4.) Beautiful face, eyes

5.) Nice thighs, breasts, legs, butt

6.) Nice foreign accent but, not required

7.) Smooth skin

8.) Looks, acts, and dresses FEMININE and takes pride in it, lady-like

9.) Can clean and cook

10.) Someone who is nice, kind, sweet, loving, not a feminist, has a respect for men

11.) Doesn't smoke

12.) Doesn't drink

13.) No children

14.) Open-minded, intellectual (but not required)

15.) I must find her physically attractive (I have my own scale)

16.) Mature on the inside/youthful looking on the outside

17.) A virgin

18.) Appreciative

19.) Between the ages of 24-34


Things I don't want: (Complete turn off)

1.) Hair cut too short

2.) tattoos

3.) too many body piercings (except the ears)

4.) loud, rude, domineering personality

5.)Spoiled, entitled, gold digger

6.) Plays mind games

7.)Too tall or Too short

8.) Overweight or Obese

9.) Mentally unstable
Last edited by IraqVet2003 on Wed Dec 30, 2015 7:59 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Criteria for a Wife

Postby NorthAmericanguy » Mon Dec 28, 2015 6:36 pm

I found this post on another forum.

. I went to a lecture by Jonathan Gray.. his latest work breaks it down all the way to the lowest level of psychology regarding what men really need from a wife.. men need to come home to a supportive situation with a meal, some love and peace and quiet, etc.. then they can build up their testosterone and go out and earn a living the next day.... once you understand what you really need and want from a woman you won't settle for less because less is hell, less is ongoing stress and it will kill you... forget what all these useless intellectual assholes are telling everybody about liberated women, if a woman is not going to cook and take care of a husband then forget marriage...

if you are coming home to some arguments and some nagging and the usual shit, then stop doing it. If your GF shows no interest in being an actual wife that supports her man, break off with her, if she has no interest in cooking before marriage, she won't after, if she wants to dominate and use you before marriage it will only get worse after... if she seems totally interested in what you can do for her and there's nothing about what she can do for you, dump the useless asshole, she's going to be useless to you in a big awful way if you are married to her and she's clueless about what makes a family, what makes a household work... I'm talking to lots of women nowadays about what men need, they are all Americans and they all say "who wants to do that?" So I say, (to myself mainly,) no problem ladies, just don't be bothering me about anything because you are essentially of zero value to me... it's not that complicated.. I do have one galpal that is very spiritual and she can tell me things that nobody could, but cooking? Forget it, she lives on TV dinners and is not too healthy herself, pretty muchly useless to me in that regard, and cleaning? Forget it, her place is a mess...

Remember Richard Boone as Paladin? He had a Chinese cook, a room in a Hotel and a GF that seemed to be a hooker... maybe he was on to something, he wasn't going to settle down and be a family man but he had what he needed... He was too cool, he was the President of the San Francisco Stock Investor's Club!! That's some Black and White TV trivia if ever there was some...




http://www.elitetrader.com/et/index.php?threads/do-all-american-women-make-horrible-wives-correct-me-if-i-am-wrong.211026/page-3
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Re: Criteria for a Wife

Postby Zambales » Mon Dec 28, 2015 7:58 pm

Mature
Feminine
Over 5'2" but smaller than me
Dresses nice
Does the housework
Nice arse
Not obese or too skinny
Preferably good size of breasts
Appreciative
Considerate
Loyal
Fair minded
Physically attractive to me
Good with money
Down to earth
Easy going/content
Self respectful
Preferably a meat eater and non smoker
Not a heavy drinker
Not a feminist
Not high maintenance
Not lazy
No big tattoo's
No entitled spoilt women/gold diggers
Non narcissistical
No mind games
Not stupid
Not overly moody
No loudmouths
No compulsive liars
Not a psycho

That should cover it... :D
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Re: Criteria for a Wife

Postby MrMan » Mon Dec 28, 2015 11:40 pm

Ghost wrote:I could write a book about it, (heh) and some things are flexible if they aren't the most important. (For example, if I'm looking for some who weighs 120 lbs. and she weighs 125, it's not a deal breaker. Though it's something to keep an eye on.)

The absolutes for me include these standards:

-Must be a virgin
-Must not want to come to the U.S.
-I must find her attractive (I have a scale I use that is not the 1-10 scale most guys use)
-Must be nurturing, kind, supportive, and of course wants to be a wife and mother above all else
-No smokers or drinkers (a little drinking is OK, because I know most cultures around the world don't view alcohol as something to get smashed up drunk with every single time you have some)


Your quote about confusing the qualities to look for in a wife that a man should look for in a hooker is kind of funny. But it implies it's okay for a man to go to hookers.

I'm wondering how this is going to work out for you. I mean, usually girls who meet these criteria are looking for a man who fit their criteria. How many virgins want to be with a guy who thinks its okay to sleep with a hooker? You may either have to deceive her or else find a virgin who hast low self-esteem, is a bit foolish, or just naive because of youth.

If I were looking for a wife and I found out a potential candidate would be interested in a guy who slept with prostitutes, I would be less interested in her as a potential spouse.
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Re: Criteria for a Wife

Postby MrMan » Mon Dec 28, 2015 11:45 pm

Adama wrote:But if you get one of those women who will not do as you ask, then you will never have peace, and she will treat you with contempt. She will never appreciate you, and you will have to rely on her ability to be a righteous person in every situation, rather than knowing that she respects you and relies upon you.


It's not righteous to be rebellious against her husband.

Many of the things on your lists go without saying. You don't have to say them. Of course you do not want a woman who's extremely short, or fat, or who has tattoos. You don't even have to mention that. Of course you don't want a woman who has been trained to be an adversary, also known as an attorney. Of course you want a woman who is pretty.


I suppose I shouldn't have to list most of these things. But I'm surprised at the lack of criteria Americans of both gender have when it comes to making these decisions. Even when it comes to physical criteria, a lot of men marry fat women or women with lots of tattoos. If they like fat women, that's up to them I suppose. There must be some guys out there willing to marry fat girls or tattooed girls or none of these women would marry. There are fewer people marrying, percentagewise, than in the past, but it is still happening.

Believe it or not, I do believe that God has written it on our hearts, and I do believe He knows what is best for us. So it is He who will bring the right type of partner to His sons. So you don't even have to worry about your list. I mean you should make sure she conforms to your list, but I don't think you need to make a long list of must haves. Everything should fall into place.


When it comes to character, I think it is important to have must-haves. I think a lot of men would benefit from being warned against marrying a loose woman or a woman who has been divorced. If men talked to each other about these things and men wouldn't marry divorced women, some of the women who file for 'no-fault' divorces might think twice if there were no marriage prospects down the road.
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