A few members over complicate the HA solution

[MattHanson1990]

There have been some forum members who will over complicate the Happier Abroad solution, and now there's this one guy named Darrell Johnston on the HA Facebook group who is somewhat over complicating things for expat wannabes. Some things he says does make sense like wanting to weed out women who are after your money in order to get a woman who likes you for you. But he keeps telling and telling people "Before you go abroad, practice with the women at home". WTF? Practicing with American women will get you nowhere, and the point of the solution is to boycott American women altogether. We're invisible to them. If you practice with American women, they either give you the cold shoulder or they call security or the cops on you for flirting with them. As Winston says, if you were on a big sinking ship, wouldn't your FIRST thought be to abandon ship? Of course. So practicing with American women before going overseas is like trying to keep the Titanic afloat when it's sinking at an alarming rate.

Darrell tends to insinuate that women are the the same worldwide as they are in the West. Either that or he is getting people to spend thousands of dollars on narcissistic feminazis.

Another member, Rian Sargentos, mentions that I should go to Colombia to date the women. But he said I should also date the single mothers. Umm...most of us have posted on here how we should avoid single moms at ALL COSTS, even abroad. However, when I told him I will not date a single mom, he said that I was being too picky. Clearly he's being a mangina right there. It's shocking to see that some American men who go abroad to date foreign ladies can still be manginas . Then he told me that I have "black and white" thinking. What an @$$.

So yes, some HA members have been and are still a big disservice. And my advice is don't believe everything that people like Darrell Johnston or Rian Sargentos tell you. They have some truth to it, but they also tend to over complicate things.

[publicduende]

Matt, HA is not a religion, or a dogma. It's a community that builds (and thrives, if you ask me) on a variety of opinions. Some of these opinions are dictated by personality, some by experience, some by the delusion that what they might have read, heard or picked up somewhere else on the Internet is the absolute truth.

If you do not agree with somebody's opinion and you think debating with that somebody is just a waste of your time (or theirs), just move on. I am not that familiar with the Facebook group, but here on the main forum there are members whose opinions and posts I have considered controversial, stupid or annoying. I could say with some certainty that some members, perhaps the same members I don't agree with, find my posts equally controversial and upsetting. Sometimes (when I am active, at least) we lock horns, sometimes I ignore and am ignored, a few times I even find myself agreeing with them.

Little point pointing fingers to a particular chap and their opinions as not aligned to the "Happier Abroad solution". I don't think HA is an equation with a single solution. It's a process full of trials and errors, with ideas and steps which could work very well with somebody and not at all with somebody else. As you probably know, if an experiment cannot yield the same outcome over a large number of tests, it cannot be proved as a universally valid "solution". If a cancer cure is tested on 1000 patients and cure cancers in 10 cases and kills the patient in the other 990, it's can be hardly defined a "solution".

[Ghost]

.

[jamesbond]

Those are exactly the types we don't want in HA. If a guy wants to date single moms or "practice" with AWs, they should just stay home and go comment on the Plenty of Whales page, not HA. Even in my bluest of blue pill days, I never would've done that (dating single moms.) And I know because I've had the option before.

Exactly, any guy who is telling other guys that they should date single mothers is a mangina on steroids! You need to avoid those guys like the plague, they are white knight manginas.

[publicduende]

Those are exactly the types we don't want in HA. If a guy wants to date single moms or "practice" with AWs, they should just stay home and go comment on the Plenty of Whales page, not HA. Even in my bluest of blue pill days, I never would've done that (dating single moms.) And I know because I've had the option before.

Exactly, any guy who is telling other guys that they should date single mothers is a mangina on steroids! You need to avoid those guys like the plague, they are white knight manginas.

What's wrong with dating single moms, if they're still young and attractive? Nobody dates with the intention of marrying a week later. A single mom could be a good way to "practice" with the female universe, even if it's a corner of the universe one would rather do without. Otherwise there's always the option of dating single moms in the Philippines...they're often younger and hotter than those in the US

[Ghost]

.

[xiongmao]

I enjoyed my HA time living in China and Thailand - it was great to experience living in another country, dating beautiful women and meeting some of you guys in person.

Of course there were ups and downs and I must say I'm having as much fun living in my native London now as I ever had in Asia.

If I had to do it all over again then I would take more time to investigate the local dating scene. I've just installed Tinder and I have to say I'm doing OK so far. The trick is to go milf, and to go ethnic. Also respect the women you meet on there, as you'll stand head and shoulders above the pervs and jerks.

Anyway, give local (or any dating) a go because it's a skill that improves with practice.

[travelsouth]

Single moms are a hook up opportunity for guys that need it. If the poster on FB was also saying to try engaging them socially as well I see no harm in it.

The best advice I've seen in dealing with AW is to be friendly and not too aggressive. It sounds counter intuitive but if you are friendly with them and dont really care things tend to work out a lot better. Back of the texting LOLs, constant convos etc. Be friendly, don't overstay your welcome with her time (meaning get busy before she gets bored) and move things along. Assume she wants to get together. And if things don't work just move the F on.

[Winston]

Whether a guy wants to date a single mom depends on how much he loves her and whether he's willing to put up with her kid or kids. It's a personal decision for each guy to make himself. We should not tell a guy whether to date a single mom or not. It's not our place to tell a guy whether to do that or not. It's his individual decision. There are no absolutes in this. Some of you guys are too narrow and black and white. Marrying her is another matter of course.

Besides, single moms tend to be more mature and compassionate, since they've learned to love another human being, their kid, and place their needs above theirs. So they somewhat more selfless and have learned to tame their own ego. That makes them more giving in a sense.

Of course, a single mom comes with burdens of kids that aren't yours. But in the Philippines, you can get around this because many single moms do not even live with their own kids, but leave them with their mothers or relatives while they go out and work. So dating a single mom doesn't necessarily mean you have to be with her kid all the time. A Filipina single mom can always arrange to leave her kid somewhere and their parents will often help too as long as they have enough money to babysit the kid.

Yeah in the our HA FB group, Darrell Johnston was weird and seemed to be bizarro man, arguing with every little thing we stand for, like a devil's advocate. You gotta wonder if he's a shill or just a prick. He's gone now anyway. But he's willing to debate me on a podcast, so I will try to take him up on that opportunity.