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An Update and a Question

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Re: An Update and a Question

Postby Cornfed » Mon May 16, 2016 6:42 am

droid wrote::idea: :!: Notice how the guy doesn't anywhere say "please" or "thanks" in any form whatsoever,
I'm really starting to lose sympathy, thinking he really is a self-serving a****le. Asked me for help and then never even replied back.
Starchild, have you received a 'thank you' from this guy lol

Judging by his previous posts, he seems legit. If so, you could perhaps forgive him for not observing ideal courtly politeness at a time like this. He possibly has a few things on his mind.
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Re: An Update and a Question

Postby Ghost » Mon May 16, 2016 7:10 am

Cornfed wrote:
droid wrote::idea: :!: Notice how the guy doesn't anywhere say "please" or "thanks" in any form whatsoever,
I'm really starting to lose sympathy, thinking he really is a self-serving a****le. Asked me for help and then never even replied back.
Starchild, have you received a 'thank you' from this guy lol

Judging by his previous posts, he seems legit. If so, you could perhaps forgive him for not observing ideal courtly politeness at a time like this. He possibly has a few things on his mind.


At what point should one reasonably be expected to get pissed off at a guy constantly asking for help and then dissing said help time after time? I offered to help the guy for free several times. Finally had a Skype session with him, basically giving him a free two hour consultation about getting an EFL job (plus the offer to continue helping him through the process.) He never followed through with anything, despite my offer to get him in contact with people I know who can get him a job, help him with his resume, coach him for interviews, etc. Nothing. Nada. Never followed up, never tried. He has an impediment that saps his confidence, but at some point a man has to attempt. That's the thing with Tsar - he never attempts. He never gets past the point of asking-for-help-then-rebuffing-the-offers and talking about stupid plans that have no basis in reality. That is the (reasonable) frustration here, not that he airs his frustrations and has a lot on his mind. If he tried and failed, he'd find nothing but support from just about everyone.

Then after all that bullshit, he comes back and threatens suicide, which he never really intended to do. It was another attention seeking cry for help. Predictable as a sunrise.

Yeah, excuse us if some of us are a bit pissed off at the guy.
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Re: An Update and a Question

Postby Ghost » Mon May 16, 2016 7:24 am

An old joke, updated for Tsar:

Tsar was suffering and failing at life, so he prayed to God for help. "God, help me get out of this horrible life. I want to get abroad and find my virgin bride in Europe!" He prayed and wailed.

After a while, S-parc came along and offered him life advice. Tsar said, "No, God will help me."

Later on, Droid passed by and sent Tsar a message offering some advice and help. "No, God will help me."

Eventually, Ghost came by and offered to help Tsar get a job teaching English abroad so he could escape his miserable existence and start living a life. "No, Ghost, God will help me."

Even MarcosZeitola came by and offered Tsar a humble spot on a farm in the Philippines, where he could escape, live simply, and be mentored. But Tsar turned it down once again, saying God would help him.

One day, Tsar perished and met God.

"God, why didn't you help me?"

"Tsar, first I sent you S-parc to help. Then I sent Droid to help you. After that I sent Ghost to help you. And later I sent MarcosZeitola to aid you. You kept turning down everyone I sent, so eventually I quit trying to reach you."
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Re: An Update and a Question

Postby droid » Mon May 16, 2016 8:03 am

Ghost wrote:
Cornfed wrote:
droid wrote::idea: :!: Notice how the guy doesn't anywhere say "please" or "thanks" in any form whatsoever,
I'm really starting to lose sympathy, thinking he really is a self-serving a****le. Asked me for help and then never even replied back.
Starchild, have you received a 'thank you' from this guy lol

Judging by his previous posts, he seems legit. If so, you could perhaps forgive him for not observing ideal courtly politeness at a time like this. He possibly has a few things on his mind.


At what point should one reasonably be expected to get pissed off at a guy constantly asking for help and then dissing said help time after time? I offered to help the guy for free several times. Finally had a Skype session with him, basically giving him a free two hour consultation about getting an EFL job (plus the offer to continue helping him through the process.) He never followed through with anything, despite my offer to get him in contact with people I know who can get him a job, help him with his resume, coach him for interviews, etc. Nothing. Nada. Never followed up, never tried. He has an impediment that saps his confidence, but at some point a man has to attempt. That's the thing with Tsar - he never attempts. He never gets past the point of asking-for-help-then-rebuffing-the-offers and talking about stupid plans that have no basis in reality. That is the (reasonable) frustration here, not that he airs his frustrations and has a lot on his mind. If he tried and failed, he'd find nothing but support from just about everyone.

Then after all that bullshit, he comes back and threatens suicide, which he never really intended to do. It was another attention seeking cry for help. Predictable as a sunrise.

Yeah, excuse us if some of us are a bit pissed off at the guy.


But even all that's fine. If a guy says "hey thanks man, but right now i don't really have the balls or motivation for that, do you have another idea?"
even if over and over, i wouldn't find that objectionable.

What gets me is the 'my life sucks but i'm so above everyone else' attitude. Dude lacks empathy and thinks everything revolves around him. He is depressed for not being able to rise as sun-king and stump on those then below him. In all my advice i've tried to get him to humble the f*k down, to no avail.
1)Too much of one thing defeats the purpose.
2)Everybody is full of it. What's your hypocrisy?
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Re: An Update and a Question

Postby droid » Mon May 16, 2016 8:12 am

Ghost wrote:An old joke, updated for Tsar:

Tsar was suffering and failing at life, so he prayed to God for help. "God, help me get out of this horrible life. I want to get abroad and find my virgin bride in Europe!" He prayed and wailed.

After a while, S-parc came along and offered him life advice. Tsar said, "No, God will help me."

Later on, Droid passed by and sent Tsar a message offering some advice and help. "No, God will help me."

Eventually, Ghost came by and offered to help Tsar get a job teaching English abroad so he could escape his miserable existence and start living a life. "No, Ghost, God will help me."

Even MarcosZeitola came by and offered Tsar a humble spot on a farm in the Philippines, where he could escape, live simply, and be mentored. But Tsar turned it down once again, saying God would help him.

One day, Tsar perished and met God.

"God, why didn't you help me?"

"Tsar, first I sent you S-parc to help. Then I sent Droid to help you. After that I sent Ghost to help you. And later I sent MarcosZeitola to aid you. You kept turning down everyone I sent, so eventually I quit trying to reach you."


Lol i think that sounds more like Adama though
1)Too much of one thing defeats the purpose.
2)Everybody is full of it. What's your hypocrisy?
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Re: An Update and a Question

Postby gnosis » Mon May 16, 2016 4:28 pm

Ghost wrote:An old joke, updated for Tsar:

Tsar was suffering and failing at life, so he prayed to God for help. "God, help me get out of this horrible life. I want to get abroad and find my virgin bride in Europe!" He prayed and wailed.

After a while, S-parc came along and offered him life advice. Tsar said, "No, God will help me."

Later on, Droid passed by and sent Tsar a message offering some advice and help. "No, God will help me."

Eventually, Ghost came by and offered to help Tsar get a job teaching English abroad so he could escape his miserable existence and start living a life. "No, Ghost, God will help me."

Even MarcosZeitola came by and offered Tsar a humble spot on a farm in the Philippines, where he could escape, live simply, and be mentored. But Tsar turned it down once again, saying God would help him.

One day, Tsar perished and met God.

"God, why didn't you help me?"

"Tsar, first I sent you S-parc to help. Then I sent Droid to help you. After that I sent Ghost to help you. And later I sent MarcosZeitola to aid you. You kept turning down everyone I sent, so eventually I quit trying to reach you."


While you might once have been trying to be helpful, now you just sound like a c**t with a petty grievance. Given that your own situation in life is probably a lot more precarious than you think it is, perhaps a little less unearned self-righteousness would be in order.
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Re: An Update and a Question

Postby gsjackson » Mon May 16, 2016 4:57 pm

gnosis wrote:
Ghost wrote:An old joke, updated for Tsar:

Tsar was suffering and failing at life, so he prayed to God for help. "God, help me get out of this horrible life. I want to get abroad and find my virgin bride in Europe!" He prayed and wailed.

After a while, S-parc came along and offered him life advice. Tsar said, "No, God will help me."

Later on, Droid passed by and sent Tsar a message offering some advice and help. "No, God will help me."

Eventually, Ghost came by and offered to help Tsar get a job teaching English abroad so he could escape his miserable existence and start living a life. "No, Ghost, God will help me."

Even MarcosZeitola came by and offered Tsar a humble spot on a farm in the Philippines, where he could escape, live simply, and be mentored. But Tsar turned it down once again, saying God would help him.

One day, Tsar perished and met God.

"God, why didn't you help me?"

"Tsar, first I sent you S-parc to help. Then I sent Droid to help you. After that I sent Ghost to help you. And later I sent MarcosZeitola to aid you. You kept turning down everyone I sent, so eventually I quit trying to reach you."


While you might once have been trying to be helpful, now you just sound like a c**t with a petty grievance. Given that your own situation in life is probably a lot more precarious than you think it is, perhaps a little less unearned self-righteousness would be in order.


Ghost is the HA poster boy, because he really has plugged away at his own situation and acquired what I think is some real gravitas as a result. First he did a great job saving his money quickly from shit jobs in the U.S.. Then he got overseas and acquired a real skill, which is something he enjoys doing. He plugs away at his ebooks, and to my eye becomes a little better writer every year. He is one of the forum's main contributors, and each year acquires more of his own voice, informed by experience.

It's a way of life grounded in discipline, tempered by disappointment but moving steadily forward, and therefore I wouldn't describe it as precarious at all. If he's had significant interaction with Tsar, he's entitled to comment, given that Tsar has made his predicament very public. And while Tsar is under no obligation to take anyone's advice, the little oft-repeated parable above might well point to a blind spot that he would be well advised to take note of.
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Re: An Update and a Question

Postby Ghost » Mon May 16, 2016 5:27 pm

droid wrote:But even all that's fine. If a guy says "hey thanks man, but right now i don't really have the balls or motivation for that, do you have another idea?"
even if over and over, i wouldn't find that objectionable.


Yeah, even that would be better. Even that.

What gets me is the 'my life sucks but i'm so above everyone else' attitude. Dude lacks empathy and thinks everything revolves around him. He is depressed for not being able to rise as sun-king and stump on those then below him. In all my advice i've tried to get him to humble the f*k down, to no avail.


Agreed. A little humility is in order. He's got a narcissism problem.
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Re: An Update and a Question

Postby Ghost » Mon May 16, 2016 5:37 pm

gnosis wrote:While you might once have been trying to be helpful, now you just sound like a c**t with a petty grievance. Given that your own situation in life is probably a lot more precarious than you think it is, perhaps a little less unearned self-righteousness would be in order.


I wasn't intending to sound self-righteous. Back when I tried to help Tsar I did it because I thought he was a good guy and really wanted to get abroad. I thought with a little help, he could accomplish this. I eventually realized he's doing all this not to get a solution to his life problems but to seek attention. He's a narcissist feeding his habit. I get that he's been beaten down as virtually all men are here in the U.S. I have been too, but I haven't delved into full-on narcissism because of it. I really wanted out, at least for a while to see life abroad. Tsar doesn't really want that.

My situation is precarious, yes, so if I really needed help I'd be an asshole to ask for help and then brush it off.
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Re: An Update and a Question

Postby Ghost » Mon May 16, 2016 5:49 pm

gsjackson wrote:Ghost is the HA poster boy, because he really has plugged away at his own situation and acquired what I think is some real gravitas as a result. First he did a great job saving his money quickly from shit jobs in the U.S.. Then he got overseas and acquired a real skill, which is something he enjoys doing. He plugs away at his ebooks, and to my eye becomes a little better writer every year. He is one of the forum's main contributors, and each year acquires more of his own voice, informed by experience.


Thanks for the compliment, gsjackson. I do at least try. And I fail too, but I am serious about building a better life through going abroad, so I get back up and try again after my failures.

If he's had significant interaction with Tsar, he's entitled to comment, given that Tsar has made his predicament very public. And while Tsar is under no obligation to take anyone's advice, the little oft-repeated parable above might well point to a blind spot that he would be well advised to take note of.


And I also didn't respond to Tsar like this the first or second time he did this. It took several times. He isn't obligated to take anyone's advice, that's true. It's just that he keeps asking for it time after time, rejecting it, then asking again. He won't accept anything besides a get-rich-quick scheme or a far-fetched plan that is tantamount to fantasy.
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Re: An Update and a Question

Postby Tsar » Mon May 16, 2016 11:05 pm

Notice my join date: Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2012 2:40 pm

From the Fall of 2012 to the Fall of 2014 I was in college getting my Bachelor's Degree? Would it be expected I drop my life and abandon my education putting myself at a disadvantage in the world?

The only open window I had was Winter 2014-September 2015.

Or October 2015 when I began working? (I hate that job. I spend as much on cough drops each week I'm there as I do on gasoline each week because of their extremely poor air quality. I am probably going to quit that temp job and say f**k it. My parents might be upset with me but I should be honest and true to myself. I didn't go to college and graduate just to click the same 20 key pattern an average of 200 times per workday for 5 hours until my wrists are sore, fingers hurt, and I can hardly open a f***ing cough drop wrapper, then continue with a type of data entry another 2.5, then mail for 30 minutes).

Also note that I had a car lease at the time which ended September 2015. I would have had to default on the car payments if I went abroad.

But this time I am going to say screw the car loan my parents forced to get for a temp job. I will get rid of almost everything I own. Then I will leave this time and screw the auto loan. I know I'm not paying the next insurance bill in July so screw the car payments after that date. I told my parents I didn't want a car because I wanted freedom and because I didn't have job security. f**k it if it comes down to it. I already spent $4,000 on that car which I wanted for going abroad and meeting my goals. My parents f**k things up just like they f**k everything up for me.

Right now I don't even have a passport anymore and need to improve my appearance before I go to get the picture. I haven't shaved in weeks and my hair is the longest its been since a period in high school. Right now my hair is probably longer than some of the American girls with the short boyish haircuts.

I do say thank you but you should also notice I don't log on as much as I use to or make as many posts. I don't even bother replying to the attacks or trying to defend myself anymore. I'm just trying to work on getting myself better more than anything else at the moment because I'm seriously ill.
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Re: An Update and a Question

Postby S_Parc » Tue May 17, 2016 12:34 am

Ghost wrote:S-parc came along and offered him life advice. Tsar said, "No, God will help me."


On Columbus Day weekend of 2015, I'd signed an Armistice with Tsar. Since then, I have not been involved.

I intend on keeping with the pact.

Remember, even General Pershing had mnetioned that the Armistice of Nov 11 1918, the official end of WWI, was a mistake to President Wilson.

But ... he'd held his tongue in public until the second world war, almost a generation later. Unlike the Iron General, I'd moved on. This is no longer my concern nor my fight.
16 years ago, the Best Picture of 1999, "American Beauty", telegraphed the message of Happier Abroad to the world.

Beware of long term engagements with AWs, you may find yourself in a coffin.

AB discussion thread

BTW, despite settling down with an AW, myself, the warning is still in effect.
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Re: An Update and a Question

Postby Ghost » Tue May 17, 2016 4:12 pm

Tsar wrote:Notice my join date: Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2012 2:40 pm

From the Fall of 2012 to the Fall of 2014 I was in college getting my Bachelor's Degree? Would it be expected I drop my life and abandon my education putting myself at a disadvantage in the world?


No, obviously not. I doubt anyone ever said to do that. Quit being a drama queen.

The only open window I had was Winter 2014-September 2015.


Oh, well, almost an entire f***ing year. Clearly not enough time to do anything. Are you f***ing serious?

Right now I don't even have a passport anymore and need to improve my appearance before I go to get the picture. I haven't shaved in weeks and my hair is the longest its been since a period in high school. Right now my hair is probably longer than some of the American girls with the short boyish haircuts.


We talked about you getting your passport last year. A simple thing and you haven't even done that yet.

I know your life is shitty. You're also an endless complainer. This is so absurd. You complain that your beard and hair are too long to get a passport photo as if you have no ability to fix that. :roll:
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Re: An Update and a Question

Postby Tsar » Tue May 17, 2016 10:00 pm

My passport expired a few days ago. So it's not like I didn't have one. I am getting a new one in the next few weeks.
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Re: An Update and a Question

Postby Ghost » Tue May 17, 2016 10:45 pm

Tsar wrote:My passport expired a few days ago. So it's not like I didn't have one. I am getting a new one in the next few weeks.


Well, I don't know. Shaving your beard and cutting your hair might prove too gargantuan a challenge for you.
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