Demographics is the biggest issue

[GoingAwol]

When it comes to the topic of the shitty dating scene in the United States, there are differing opinions. Some blame it on feminism, some say they just don't fit into American culture, and others say their looks are the problem and that's why they can't get dates. I personally believe it all boils down to demographics. There simply aren't enough single women, much less single attractive women. I rarely meet single women, but half the guys I know are single. Thoughts?

[Hero]

When it comes to the topic of the shitty dating scene in the United States, there are differing opinions. Some blame it on feminism, some say they just don't fit into American culture, and others say their looks are the problem and that's why they can't get dates. I personally believe it all boils down to demographics. There simply aren't enough single women, much less single attractive women. I rarely meet single women, but half the guys I know are single. Thoughts?

Agree. There are hardly any pretty women anymore, and there's simply no reason for ANY attractive woman over 30 in the USA to be single.

[pete98146]

Before I met my wife 10 years ago, I was flirting with women from different parts of the globe online. One of these ladies came to visit me from Singapore. I took her out to see the sights of Seattle and pretty much the first words out of her mouth were, "wow where are all the pretty single women in this town?"

She was here for a week and I remember having to work a few of those days. She booked a bus tour to Mt. Rainier and went all by herself. We met up for dinner that night and I asked how the trip went. She said, the mountain was awesome but on the bus, it took less than half an hour before some other guy on the tour was trying to pick up on her. She then said she felt sorry for the men in Seattle.

Again, this boils down to demographics. In most large cities west of the Mississippi there is a severe shortage of single women. Not enough single gals to go around in this country.

[jamesbond]

Before I met my wife 10 years ago, I was flirting with women from different parts of the globe online. One of these ladies came to visit me from Singapore. I took her out to see the sights of Seattle and pretty much the first words out of her mouth were, "wow where are all the pretty single women in this town?"

She was here for a week and I remember having to work a few of those days. She booked a bus tour to Mt. Rainier and went all by herself. We met up for dinner that night and I asked how the trip went. She said, the mountain was awesome but on the bus, it took less than half an hour before some other guy on the tour was trying to pick up on her. She then said she felt sorry for the men in Seattle.

Again, this boils down to demographics. In most large cities west of the Mississippi there is a severe shortage of single women. Not enough single gals to go around in this country.

Even in large cities east of the Mississippi, the single men far outnumber the single women. America truly is a "sausage fest."

[GoingAwol]

When it comes to the topic of the shitty dating scene in the United States, there are differing opinions. Some blame it on feminism, some say they just don't fit into American culture, and others say their looks are the problem and that's why they can't get dates. I personally believe it all boils down to demographics. There simply aren't enough single women, much less single attractive women. I rarely meet single women, but half the guys I know are single. Thoughts?

Agree. There are hardly any pretty women anymore, and there's simply no reason for ANY attractive woman over 30 in the USA to be single.

Agreed,but its not just pretty women. Look at any plain looking or even an ugly woman in the U.S and chances are they are taken too.. And they are probably dating guys who are better looking than themselves.

[jamesbond]

When it comes to the topic of the shitty dating scene in the United States, there are differing opinions. Some blame it on feminism, some say they just don't fit into American culture, and others say their looks are the problem and that's why they can't get dates. I personally believe it all boils down to demographics. There simply aren't enough single women, much less single attractive women. I rarely meet single women, but half the guys I know are single. Thoughts?

Agree. There are hardly any pretty women anymore, and there's simply no reason for ANY attractive woman over 30 in the USA to be single.

Agreed,but its not just pretty women. Look at any plain looking or even an ugly woman in the U.S and chances are they are taken too.. And they are probably dating guys who are better looking than themselves.

I see obese women dating guys who are in shape and I also see women who are hideous looking dating guys who are good looking.

I also know of guys who are good looking and make good money who can't even get at date with an average looking woman.

No wonder why so many men in America are going overseas to meet women.

[cdnFA]

I see obese women dating guys who are in shape and I also see women who are hideous looking dating guys who are good looking.

I also know of guys who are good looking and make good money who can't even get at date with an average looking woman.

No wonder why so many men in America are going overseas to meet women.

I wonder what would happen if you went looking for human female, fugly chud male couples. One sees what one looks for. One reason people overestimate the hotness of oriental chicks. Walk down Chinatown in Montreal [which I have recently] or Spadina in Toronto or your local equivalent and really critique the girls. It is an eye opener and a cure for most yellow fever.

I know of one guy.
Almost 400 pounds seriously.
Like this

Dressed like a slob. No Tapico I mean no homo.
On the dole, not even the cool disability dole but regular dole. He could only afford to live on his own because his mother claimed to be living in the other room of the apartment so she could claim wealfare fraud.
Just high school and it took longer to get it. Back when he did work, never did anything but McJobs.
Lazy as f**k. Had several years of tax refunds, couldn't be bothered to do his taxes to get it.
Complained about his ill health to the point where I stopped hanging with him.
Hated women more than anyone here could thanks to mother and sister issues.
Oh and he was a beta bitch towards her. It got so bad that it got a reaction out of me seeing the way she would treat him.
I even used the line "well she respects me"

He was an inert lump of clay.

He had a girl who looked like this except with bigger boobs going to his apartment having sex with him a short time and then get dumped by him.


Now regardless of if she is to you taste or not, she is no Cathy Bates and surely could do better.

I know another guy, not nearly so bad but short and chubby. He was also a bit of a mook. Had 2 girls fighting over him. One was also short and chubby but she made it work well, the other was also above his station.

If you are not getting any play, from what I've seen, it's probably something to do with you.
I know because I am one of those guys. Only I can accept it.

Also in the global scheme of things, considering the size of the age suitable male population, can one really say "so many men in America are going overseas to meet women". Seems like a bit of an outlier to me. Especially when you take out the ones who are going overseas for other reasons and just happen to meet someone. Surely not every expat is a loser back home.

[chanta76]

Ok...let say it's demographics. How did this happened? I mean in places like China and India there is gender imbalance but not in the USA. I imagine in major cities there should be single women. Here in NYC you do see single in shape women. The problem is that they tend to be very picky or leaning towards feminism . So it sucks in a way.

[Shemp]

If you are not getting any play, from what I've seen, it's probably something to do with you.
I know because I am one of those guys. Only I can accept it.

Truth here, but the "something" could be high standards. A good-looking woman who goes after a slob of loser man probably has some psychological issues (low self esteem, wants to feel superior to the man). I'm interested in the whole woman, body and mind, so such women are disqualified to me.

But yes, there's probably some things screwed up in me too. I used to be able to get women, back in my 30's in San Francisco, and beautiful quality women too. But now I'm 55 and things are different. Maybe the women detect low testosterone, maybe low testosterone means I just don't care that much. Plus I'm always traveling, and that makes things difficult. Or maybe I need to change my tactics versus back when I was stable. Probably some women are looking for a stranger in town for a few months, precisely because they don't want things to last forever, especially a stranger open to making cash gifts to women. Haven't got a clue as to how to find these women however. Please don't recommend Philippines. Not my type of country. Yet.

[MatureDJ]

I would say that for men of a certain age (like yours truly, born in the mid 60s), overall birth-rate demographics has played a part (i.e., for me, less folks born in the '70s), but I think that for younger men now, that is not a factor (if anything, it could be playing in their favor). I think the main reason is that too many young women are just too damn fat; the women are out there, but we are just not biologically programmed to want to hit that, and certainly (for a lot of us) not motivated to want a serious relationship with that.

And there is also the reason of hypergamy, in which women (attractive or fat) choose to chase the top alpha men instead of being interested in the regular schlubs. These women can feel like such men are within their league, as such men will have sex with them, but not so interested in marrying them, so they develop the attitude that they are better than the schlubs they should be happy with, without realizing that interest in pure sex is not the same as interest in a proper relationship. And internet dating, especially sites like Tinder, feeding into this. A lot of these women blissfully go throughout their early adult years thinking that Prince Charming will come, but finally realizing, at about a year or so before the biological clock ticks to 12, that he isn't, at which time they complain about the men around them not "manning up", not realizing that these men were ready to "man up" when they were younger, but had gotten rejected.

[MatureDJ]

But yes, there's probably some things screwed up in me too. I used to be able to get women, back in my 30's in San Francisco, and beautiful quality women too. But now I'm 55 and things are different. Maybe the women detect low testosterone, maybe low testosterone means I just don't care that much. Plus I'm always traveling, and that makes things difficult. Or maybe I need to change my tactics versus back when I was stable. Probably some women are looking for a stranger in town for a few months, precisely because they don't want things to last forever, especially a stranger open to making cash gifts to women. Haven't got a clue as to how to find these women however. Please don't recommend Philippines. Not my type of country. Yet.

I'm a bit younger, spending a lot of time in Eastern Europe, and I must say that with the availability of affordable P2P, I am not super interested in devoting the time to meet women. Sure, I check around some free websites now & then, and go to some social outings where it is expected that folks will speak English, and if something happens, great, but I'm really at the point where I just don't feel like having to impress a woman any longer; I think I naturally feel like at this stage of life, I should already have a wife so that I don't have to be concerned about impressing. And I have ZERO tolerance for the BS that I used to take with women. Really, I don't know if I would care to be with any woman that hasn't taken the initiative to want to be with me (i.e., with someone that I would find attractive).

[wanderlust]

Ok...let say it's demographics. How did this happened? I mean in places like China and India there is gender imbalance but not in the USA. I imagine in major cities there should be single women. Here in NYC you do see single in shape women. The problem is that they tend to be very picky or leaning towards feminism . So it sucks in a way.

Earlier this year I posted a link talking about this same thing, and among the under 35 age group, the problem is actually a little worse than China. Raw data cofirms that the demographics are tilted. US takes in large numbers of immigrants (majority young and male) so that's how it happened.

http://www.bloomberg.com/visual-data/be ... ios-states

Average is about 120 males per 100 females, 25-34 age group (today's reality is marriage age). High is 148:100 in ND, low is 102:100 in AL unless you count DC (86.7:100)

Since a fair amount of illegal immigration (vast majority single males) isn't trackable, the real ratio of men to women in those age brackets would be higher than 120:100. That link is from 2013 so it's recent. Although there are supposedly more women than men in the US when all age groups are accounted for, the tables don't turn the other way until you're a senior citizen.

[chanta76]

wanderlust,

I highly doubt American women would want to date an illegal male immigrant. American women believe in hypergamy so illegal aliens wouldn't count. Legalize male immigrant maybe a different story but it depends on if he is successful or not.

[wanderlust]

In any major city in the western US you can see that they don't have a problem doing so. I'd have to say they're no more dateless or celibate than Americans of the same age bracket; I used to work with LOTS of them, some of them could even juggle multiple GF's or had side action.

The pond we fish in depends largely on what economic class we come from. So for a working class man, that does make for bleak prospects. I've lived in several places and never saw working class women trying to date or marry up to professionals - it was always dominant alphas within their same class. I doubt they inquire about immigration status before hitting the sheets or moving in together.

The economic hypergamy I see (and there's plenty of it) seems to be concentrated among people who think a lot more about finances - upper middle class and above.

[jamesbond]

Earlier this year I posted a link talking about this same thing, and among the under 35 age group, the problem is actually a little worse than China. Raw data cofirms that the demographics are tilted. US takes in large numbers of immigrants (majority young and male) so that's how it happened.

http://www.bloomberg.com/visual-data/be ... ios-states

Average is about 120 males per 100 females, 25-34 age group (today's reality is marriage age). High is 148:100 in ND, low is 102:100 in AL unless you count DC (86.7:100)

Since a fair amount of illegal immigration (vast majority single males) isn't trackable, the real ratio of men to women in those age brackets would be higher than 120:100. That link is from 2013 so it's recent. Although there are supposedly more women than men in the US when all age groups are accounted for, the tables don't turn the other way until you're a senior citizen.

I remember that post you where you stated that information, it was excellent. I have read that in the US there are literally millions and millions of more single men than single women between the ages of 18 to 49. It's not till age 50 that single women start to outnumber single men.

No wonder why so it's so hard for men to meet women in America.