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Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby MattHanson1990 » Mon Jul 18, 2016 10:32 pm

Ghost wrote:Had a good English/Chinese language exchange today. Got some good notes and a little practice in. So...f**k all you guys who said I'm too lazy? It's looking good for this becoming a weekly thing too. The girl really likes giving and receiving lessons, so should be set. I ended hanging out with two girls. Both have boyfriends, which reminds me: [b]that's another problem with going for Chinese women. They are usually taken.[b] They get a man and they tend to stay. Good for Chinese men. Not good for a laowai, but fortunately I've no need to deal with that disadvantageous meat market. I had a little fun and dropped the girlfriend bomb on both the girls since they dropped the boyfriend bomb on me. It seemed to shock them a little bit.

Got some part time teaching gigs coming up, while waiting on my visa situation to be smoothed out and the day job to begin. Things are looking up, if only a little.

The girl, G, and I are continuing. We're getting through our problems. With some planning and timing and patience, I'll be able to see her in under three months. Everything until then is trying to make it to the starting line. It all hangs by a thread, but maybe the thread is growing stronger.

It's funny that you guys have been giving me a hard time about learning Chinese, despite that 1. I'm in a long distance relationship with a pinay, and 2. I don't have much interest or connection with Chinese women. And at the same time you guys haven't given me shit for breaking my standard of requiring virginity in a wife. True, I haven't gotten to that point yet, but it is looking that way.

If I haven't emphasized it enough already, connection really matters. It's so rare that I'm probably going to break my rule about virginity. And to hammer it home even more, I don't have any sexual attraction towards my girlfriend. She's attractive, very pretty, but I've never had sexual thoughts about her. The connection is the attraction. It's odd. Geez, I'm going to become the next S-parc if I'm not careful.


Sounds like certain pocket areas of Mexico. In Guadalajara there are a lot of good looking girls but they're usually taken, especially if you take into account that Tapatio men are also good looking. That's why I liked Guanajuato more. I don't know if this is 100 percent true but I think China could be a lot more of a hardball game compared to Mexico. In Mexico, machista culture is still strong, and many local men tend to mistreat the women. Chinese men tend to be more monogamous. But I'm not really 100 percent sure.
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Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby droid » Tue Jul 19, 2016 3:10 am

Ghost wrote:Had a good English/Chinese language exchange today. Got some good notes and a little practice in. So...f**k all you guys who said I'm too lazy?


nice :lol: :lol:

Ghost wrote: It's funny that you guys have been giving me a hard time about learning Chinese, despite that 1. I'm in a long distance relationship with a pinay, and 2. I don't have much interest or connection with Chinese women. And at the same time you guys haven't given me shit for breaking my standard of requiring virginity in a wife. True, I haven't gotten to that point yet, but it is looking that way.


Good point, and you probably shouldn't rush it with that G girl. The virgins you can connect with are out there if you want them, just take your time. I'll stop repeating myself now.
1)Too much of one thing defeats the purpose.
2)Everybody is full of it. What's your hypocrisy?
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Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby yick » Tue Jul 19, 2016 4:18 am

But this is Happier Abroad. Every time a woman even so much as looks at you it is because she is checking out your a** and wants to f**k you. It would have absolutely nothing to do with your circus monkey status as a white guy is an ocean of orientals. No that would be unpossible.


Sigh... :roll:

The hard of thinking members of this site and their lack of reading comprehension skills.

I think I have already said that most Chinese women aren't interested in us, but there are some who are.

As for the bit about them wanting to 'f**k me' where did I say that? I didn't say that, because from a woman checking your arse out to actually getting to f**k her - there are a fair few stages to go through, like speaking to her at length, finding out if she is with someone, having the language skills to traverse these options, going on the date (more than one date etc - before the actual f***ing begins - you are probably silly enough to think a woman goes from checking your arse to f***ing you.

No - they don't.

But the women who were checking my arse were in fact around their late twenties and are probably married - they seemed to have a great interest in the back of my legs. :lol: Could I have took it further - probably not because they are probably married - but the interest from SOME Chinese women is certainly there.


It's funny but you IIRC are the first person on HA who seemed to figure that out. Outside of the HA hive mind many expats seem to get it.


Men absolutely should be entitled to sex (ideally via state subsidized p4p) and wives if they are reasonable and productive members of society (society being responsible to give them opportunities to fulfill their roles - not this gives-females-all-mens'-stuff bullshit) This is the only sane and stable way to do things.

:lol:

I was also thinking of posting on cultural differences. Maybe I see it differently than you but it is a thing that isn't addressed often here.


Yeah, go on, I could do with a laugh - the difference between your basement and your parents back garden - go on - entrhall us.
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Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby gnosis » Tue Jul 19, 2016 4:26 am

Ghost wrote:Also worth mentioning is that a man may fit very well in a given country, but not in every way. I fit with Filipinas very well and naturally, but there are no jobs for me in Philippines. I enjoy teaching in China, but don't fit with the women. I don't keep returning to a country that I'm always f***ing miserable in - I like a lot about China. I've had fun work here, have friends here, have experienced lots of kindness from the people. I just don't have much connection with the women and can't see myself fitting with them like I do with pinays. I love the geography and nature of the U.S. but socially and economically it's a shit place for me to be. One country is not likely to give you everything you need. Practically this is a problem because if you lack any major thing - especially a job or girlfriend - you'll always be focused on what you lack, and it will drag you down.


I completely agree with you. For me, it is always a mixed bag. There are things I love and things that I cannot stand. Korea, for example. Fantastic public transportation. Fantastic healthcare system. Absolutely hated the culture. I was f***ing miserable in Korea. Never going back.

It sounds like you actually have things going for you in China. If you could get a good virgin Filipina wife and live with her in China, would you be happy? I had a British buddy in Vietnam who married a Filipina English teacher and was happy with her. They had a son together. (He didn't like Vietnamese women.)

If you could find a Filipina in China who teaches English, that could be the jackpot for you.
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Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby yick » Tue Jul 19, 2016 4:32 am

Hi Droid,

Great posts as usual but I would like to explain my tone towards Eric and why I adopted it.

If I went to my own father - or if my own son came up to me and said something along the lines of

'Why won't anyone give me sex? Why do I need to make an effort?'

He would probably belt me one (deservedly) I am sure if you went up to your father and said something along those lines - he would give you a talking to you, your grandfather, great-grandfather who stormed a beach at Guadalcanal would probably belt you one and tell you to sort your life out.

If I dared said something like that to my mates, they would laugh in my face and I would never hear the end of it - and they would call me a f***ing wuss.

I am trying to help him here, and give notice to people wanting to do this, it isn't an easy option in getting laid - as you know yourself.

It is an alternative to the life we had back home, where every man is viewed as a potential rapist or sexual deviant until they prove otherwise - kiddy fiddler, rapist, sexual predator - and all that gets tiring, so - if we escape all that - it doesn't mean the rules all change, all that happens is that the mindset of the women here is different - they won't see you as a potential rapist and you get the chance - that is ALL anyone can ask for in our new homes.

But I can't prettify this for him, the language has to be basic and has to be to the point so he understands. And the rest of the whining wusses who think they are owed sex.

Ghost thinks he is owed sex because of his productivity within society - you know - if people got sex based on that - he would be at the back of the queue again and bin men, people who get food to our table, water sanitation workers, nurses, doctors, law enforcement agents, fire fighters and the people who run public transport get laid before him - well, a bit like now - he would find there is no difference. :lol:

Get rid of the entitlement fellas, you are entitled to f**k all.
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Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby gnosis » Tue Jul 19, 2016 4:39 am

yick wrote:Ghost thinks he is owed sex because of his productivity within society


Don't you think workers are entitled to pay for sex with professionals should they desire? If you are productive and earning money, I think you should be allowed to spend as much of that money as you want on hookers.
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Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby droid » Tue Jul 19, 2016 5:02 am

gnosis wrote:I completely agree with you. For me, it is always a mixed bag. There are things I love and things that I cannot stand. Korea, for example. Fantastic public transportation. Fantastic healthcare system. Absolutely hated the culture. I was f***ing miserable in Korea. Never going back.


Can you expand on that? how long were you there?
@Winston, if you think the Taiwanese are bad, wait till you see Koreans haha, those motherf*kers really give you the 'You're just not there' and 'See thru you' treatment.
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Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby yick » Tue Jul 19, 2016 5:03 am

gnosis wrote:
yick wrote:Ghost thinks he is owed sex because of his productivity within society


Don't you think workers are entitled to pay for sex with professionals should they desire? If you are productive and earning money, I think you should be allowed to spend as much of that money as you want on hookers.

gnosis wrote:Ghost thinks he is owed sex because of his productivity within society


Oh yeah, that is what happens in China now, men have sex with prostitutes or else they would never have sex. And retiredfrank gave this advice to Ghost and Eric and it was very good advice.

The problem is not that, it is the PTSD that some of the fellas on here suffer from relating back to High School and the fact they weren't the popular kid and they didn't get to f**k the cheerleaders. I understand America has a really poisonous social system for kids - especially in regards high school but there is a day one needs to realise that there are actually men who can get lots of sex from lots of women and there are people who can't - realise if that is you (plural) - that is you and go out and do something about it instead of hating the country - the truth is that most of these fellas like Eric, Ghost and MattHanson1990 would never have left America if he had got laid on his prom night with the head cheerleader - if they had, they would be there in their little house with a big stars and stripes hanging out from their front porch - the reason they are angry is because they think America has let them down socially and has not provided them with lots of sex - which is their god given right as white American men. :roll: Do they actually want to live abroad? Not really, they aren't willing to make the basic attempts to fit into their new homes - well MattHanson is learning Spanish - good for him I suppose. :roll:

And realise another thing - most men who are having lots of sex with lots of women are having sex with women you wouldn't shake hands with - I know a guy who has had sex with hundreds of women - most of them look like Boris Becker (his words) how many men are having the kind of sex with women YOU would want to f**k? Single figures, and probably under 3% - reserved for the likes of Mick Jagger and people of that kind of wealth and fame.

So, if one wants to have lots of sex with lots of nice looking women who he considers beautiful or at least attractive then P4P is the way to go around it for sure.

What Russia, China and the PI can offer you is the chance to get a nice looking woman with an education and background who you would never get in your own country. That's it really.
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Postby Ghost » Tue Jul 19, 2016 6:42 am

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Last edited by Ghost on Fri Oct 28, 2016 11:09 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby cdnFA » Tue Jul 19, 2016 6:48 am

droid wrote:
cdnFA wrote:
droid wrote:
Have you been out of your township?


Yes, I've lived in 3 places that at one time were in different countries, and among 2 languages.


Please clarify that

cdnFA wrote:Also the people I get information from actually live overseas often for many years as do the people who comment on their comments.

An individual's observation doesn't mean shit. One can easily get one woman who spent a lot of time in Japan saying that sexism is a serious issue and another who says it isn't a problem at all. This is why my opinion which is based on more of a meta study, a collection of many views of those who were there, it is more value than a "I was there and I know everything" attitude.

Hell one can just look on HA. The f***ed up views some people have of their own countries is staggering and completely at odds with reality.

But yeah I get it, the views of those who have lived overseas even long than you don't matter, only yours matter.


Let me ask you this, why should I take the view of you and a few others over that of many other non HAers who have the same experiences as you do.

Considering this is a forum where/of
All girls date thugs with AK 47s
To get married will lead to your wife cheating on you this a black guy who will eventually rape you in prison, "this is marriage"
All marriage ends in divorce because "I've seen it" even though the stats don't bear that out.
Women only marry bad boys [err no]
To open a door for a woman is to guarantee scorn and abuse [never happened to me, never seen it happen although I am sure it does once in a blue moon]
Flat Earthers
Space Jews
White people going to Venus next.
The unibomber as a credible source.
Hitler was just a nice man picked on by that bad man Churchill.

Over and over people who have lived in Japan and China point out that they have a curiosity factor which is perfectly reasonable. If a Chinese person would walk around Pickle Lake or Hants Harbour they would get eyeballed pretty hard also. Duh.

Just because someone is looking at the oddball doesn't mean they want to f**k you. If I see some guy who towers over me I'm 6'2, I will look at him. I don't want to f**k him.

Just because some girls are giggling at the stupid foreigner who is getting soaked because he doesn't have an umbrella and lend him one of theirs doesn't mean they want to f**k you.

Also plenty of girls in the public service industry are nice to me. Actually pretty much all of them. That story above about the girl who runs a store with husband and father... if that is amazing to you, there is something wrong with you. I get treated with respect even though I am a big fat socially crippled slob when I conduct my business.

I take my opinions from many sources, as much as possible. Anything I get from HA, I take with a huge degree of scepticism.


The simple flaw with that is assuming those who are reporting from abroad don't have other sources as you do.
I only asked because the impression you give is that of a basement dweller that -precisely- tries to build this know-it-all stance with third hand information at best, if not just from that basement computer.

As far as the women attention part, it is obvious this whole thing is not just about getting your d*ck wet, don't be dishonest. Read Winston's introductory material.

I don't know why you're here if things are so dandy for you. I agree some guys go overboard with their paranoid mindset but doing HA hate just for sport doesn't do your fake balanced-view any favors either, it puts you right in the same wild raving category.


Your flaw can apply to anyone who lives overseas and speaks of their experiences.

I'll give you a real life example of how the researching basement dweller who collects observations is better than one person, aside from the above on how people so drastically get their own countries so off base.
Apparently according to one guy I know who taught in Thailand for 5 or 6 years and 1 year in Korea.
All Thailand schools are completely honest, they have never screwed over anyone because HE hasn't seen it.
No such thing as Thai wives using their husbands as ATM machines and never ever did a foreigner end up dead. Never happened.
Ditto for S Korean schools, all completely honest and deliver on contracts, the Canadian government has a warning about this but he was there, so he knows better than the Canadian government [cue in some comment about space jews here I guess]

The stuff he was telling me in person did not jive very well with standard opinions of others who were also over there.
One sees that a lot. There goes the theory that one those who lived over there have the right to speak because they don't agree and if 1 guy says Burmese have tails and everyone says they don't, I'll go with everyone else on that even those I've never met a Burmese. [Woman not cat, my example makes no sense if we are talking cats]

I don't think there is anything wrong with pointing out that when someone has an observation that there are others who hold very different views. However the whole, ohh she looked at me, she so horny...the idea of the guy who thinks every girl who remotely acknowledges him wants to f**k him, that isn't just an expat thing it's a guy thing, not every guy but still. For me to suggest that some people might be reading too much into a situation, you just need to be human for that.

Also the entire field of history is based on the idea that one can obtain information from second hand sources. If you have to have been there or STFU you might as well close down the whole field. Actually especially in the classics one is better off with following secondary sources rather than primary unless you are actually quite knowledgeable because the primary documents are pretty misleading and questionable at times.

So yeah basement dweller who uses many sources over one guy's opinion any time. What makes your voice so special over anyone else.
Also my approach is not so prone for observation bias. All I know is that among the under 30 crowd there isn't nearly as many fatties as some people suggest around here.

I remember when I was first looking into this, it seemed Japan was some sort of charisma man paradise where the women line up at the airport to f**k you. However I dug in a bit deeper and got information from others who *lived there also* and found a more nuanced view of the topic including some commentators *Who lived there* who actually approached the subject in a more thoughtful manner.

Things are not so dandy for me over here. That FA stands for forever alone. Last year my date count unpaid would be 0 and I am assuming my current situation will cluster f**k. I came here to gather more information. I found some information but there is just so much that deserves disgust here, stuff that ruins what could be a very useful forum.
I am not talking about our conversation BTW but I think you know this.
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Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby cdnFA » Tue Jul 19, 2016 6:59 am

Speaking of those who were over there. My father was in the Philippines for 3+ months at a time multiple times and his observations are somewhat different from what I read here and elsewhere.
OTOH he was there 35-40 years ago, he had a wife back home although he knows others who married overseas in PI and Korea, and he was spending his time working with and training the professional class. Considering his frame of reference and what he was looking for/at, one could expect some discrepancies. He wasn't there to date, get laid or even make friends and the people he would be with were pretty much the opposite of a farm girl/bar girl.

Although apparently one of the guys convinced his wife that he got an STD from a hotel towel so she started packing them for him on future trips. So it seems the cheating and stupidity thing he has observed.
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Postby Ghost » Tue Jul 19, 2016 7:08 am

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Last edited by Ghost on Fri Oct 28, 2016 11:10 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby Eric » Tue Jul 19, 2016 7:35 am

yick wrote:
Viruses like you are why it's hard for guys to share real feelings they have in forums with other real, honest men. Congrats, you are a toxic P.O.S. virus- parasite.


Real men say 'waaaaaaaaaaaaah I am not getting sex, that's not fair' :?

Now look, and this goes for Ghost, for MattHanson1990 and everyone like yourselves - feeling sorry for your damn selves because you weren't the High School quarterback and you didn't get to f**k the head cheerleader on prom night.

Lots of men in this world die virgins - millions of men in China and in India have no chance of having sex in a loving relationship - even that, they can't afford P4P - they will die never ever seeing a naked woman. And a fair few men in the west die as virgins as well, never knowing a womans love.

So - what needs to be took from this is that you have no right to sex, you have no entitlement to having a woman drop their drawers for you.

A lot of men cannot escape the west, they live and die in their hometowns, they never get married, they never have a decent relationship - they die unfulfilled.

You have escaped the west, you are now in a country where the women do not treat men - or you - as potential rapist like they do back home, no they don't.

In China, women are happy to be normal with a man, because it is not instilled into them that every man they don't know is a potential rapist.

So, instead of running with this fantastic opportunity - you are crying about it like you are owed something, you are owed NOTHING - but you have the golden
chance to get a woman that you would be proud of to have dangling from your arm, there are millions of really pretty women in this country, what is your problem?

And if this place isn't right - go to Thailand, go to Philippines, go to Vietnam, go to Indonesia - there are f***ing hundreds of millions of women to choose from.

You have done the hard part, you are off the trailer park, you are here, now stop f***ing crying and do something. If China isn't working then go to Indonesia, I swear
down you will get a woman there and you will have ALL the sex you want.


If I'd get past your incendiary ways of writing to address actually some of what you say. If one can get past your nasty writing - you actually do have some points.
"In China, women are happy to be normal with a man, because it is not instilled into them that every man they don't know is a potential rapist. So, instead of running with this fantastic opportunity - you are crying about it like you are owed something, you are owed NOTHING - but you have the golden chance to get a woman that you would be proud of to have dangling from your arm, there are millions of really pretty women in this country, what is your problem?"
Let's take this, that's a good point. I hadn't thought of it that way before...but - along with your usual incendiary speech *which backfires on you always, there are some issues.
First of all, I believe this tendency for all women to look at men as predators at some degree is inherent to woman. That's always going to be there, feminism plays that up and it's terrible - but it's there to begin with, and they had to have something to work with.
Second, it is different here - it's not uncommon for a Chinese girl to have plans of marriage, life & family on just the first date, a lot of them take it very seriously...
I'm also in a position where I sort of feel like the tables are flipped, now I can be all the douchebag I want and hook up with girls, but I don't want to be that guy who breaks a girls heart who is innocent. If she's not innocent then that's different. I hardly encountered this in West. So yeah just because every woman doesn't think I'm potential rapist & I could potentially talk to all of them, it doesn't mean all of them "want to hook up" which is where your dumbass can't figure.
Yeah you can take the man out of the west but not the west from the man, so forth.

I find it funny that the whole main gist of my post was along the same lines you're crying and wailing about, yet you can't see that, and narrowed in on one small thing I said and made it a main focus - blew it out of proportion and started a fight about it. You seem to be an angry and bitter guy. You are so insecure with your own feelings that you won't let anybody else have theirs. Congratulations, guys like you are the reason forums suck for everyone else. It seemed like you went in wanting for an argument - even though you don't realize it.
I've gleaned what I can that was helpful from you, which seems to be all about ego and you upping yours or getting off on some kind of a powertrip about something, with maybe a tad bit of real, accurate observations.
Last edited by Eric on Tue Jul 19, 2016 7:56 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby droid » Tue Jul 19, 2016 7:38 am

@cdnfa
Ok so opinionated-basement-dweller > guys in the field, Ok got it, lol.
We'll just visit the forum daily so you can enlighten us

You lack reading comprehension:
Again, you assume we can't do research as well, (guy_in_the_field + research) > (opinionated_basement_dweller + research)
And again, nobody is saying those girls want to jump to bed right away with you after being nice, Yick has tried to explain that twice already, and that was just a small example.
Generally, explaining things in detail to theory-based, blank-slate type of guys is kind of a waste of time really, having to start with the big-bang and so on, too much of a chore.

Your semi-contrarian position is commendable as an exercise but the bias is too obvious. Again, guy chads up elsewhere and you try to imply it somehow 'doesn't count' or stuff to that effect.
1)Too much of one thing defeats the purpose.
2)Everybody is full of it. What's your hypocrisy?
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Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby yick » Tue Jul 19, 2016 8:28 am

That's about it. If my country really was the best in the world and didn't treat me like a second class citizen, and it kept the women in check and gave me access to opportunities, I'd never leave it.


Thank you for your honesty, I think we can regard 'second class citizen; and marry it up with 'keep the women in check and gave me access to opportunities' is 'if I was getting more sex off women I fancy, then I would never leave'.

And that is fair enough, and that is why you aren't feeling it in China, I doubt you will in the PI though you might be happier there because it is a lot more Americanised.

MattHanson1990 is very similar to you, he would leave Mexico to be MGTOW back in America, I doubt for one second that is MattHanson1990 was getting sexual opportunities in New Mexico he would never consider leaving it, as soon as he thinks sexual opportunities or romantic liasons dry up in Mexico, he is talking about going back to the states to be celibate.

It says a lot.

You are a product of your culture, but you have no real fight against a lot of The Matrix - if The Matrix gave you sex, you would stay there, happy as a pig in shit.

Now me - even if I never had sex again, I would rather live abroad? Why? Because I feel alive abroad.

That women don't treat you as a potential rapist is one nice thing about living abroad, but it wouldn't be the first or only reason for living abroad, it would be a ridiculous assumption to base it all on because it is going to end in a disappointment.
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