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Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby Winston » Thu Jul 21, 2016 10:50 am

yick wrote:
I live in China, apart from playing the foreigner card. I don't really like it here. The people are materialistic as hell, basically the same as Americans but even worse - if you can believe it. They are also incredibly, incredibly rude here. Chinese culture is very callous, rude .....uncaring, there are so many damn people no one cares.


I have lived here five years, my first two years were hard, but I learned was that the Chinese aren't rude - they have a different set of polite ettiquette - it isn't the west, if you are expecting them to behave politely like westerners, no - you are going to be disappointed, but once you fathom them out, they are a pretty decent bunch of people who will go out of their way to be helpful and nice - there are more arseholes back home than in China but it isn't west.


I agree with this one. I don't find mainland Chinese rude. They are just more upfront and honest. Sometimes it means they express their annoyances. Sometimes they scold me for the wrong reasons, which makes me mad. There are many stupid ignorant barbaric men in China too. But hey, at least they are real. The politeness you get in Taiwan or Japan is mostly fake, not honest at all. So it makes me uncomfortable, the fakeness I mean, more so than the rudeness of upfront Chinese does.

I don't see how Chinese are rude exactly. They only push and shove at subways when they have to because it's overcrowded and they can't get anywhere otherwise. But they do not cut in front of me in line when I'm at the supermarket, or even at the intercity train station. It's not like they come up behind me and kick me for no reason. Or take a book out of my hand while I'm reading it. Or sit at my table at a cafe without asking my permission first. Or reach into my backpocket like beggar kids in the Philippines do. They don't do those things, which I would consider to be rude.

There is uncivilized barbaric behavior in China. However, they don't apply to all Chinese people in general. We need to differentiate, because the women and men in China are very different. The women are very civilized, classy and refined, much more so than the men. So the common criticisms of mainland Chinese apply mostly to the men there, not the women. So it's wrong for people to say them about Chinese people in general. They need to differentiate. For example, I see lots of Chinese men spitting everywhere and making loud disgusting sounds with their throat. They tend to wait for me to pass by first before doing it, because they and Murphy's Law knows it annoys me, so they wait for me to be near first before doing it. It's typical Murphy's Law, if you hate something, it will follow you or wait til you approach before coming out. Murphy's Law is such a friggin bastard.

However, I don't see young women spitting or making disgusting. People say they do. But I haven't seen it, so it must be very rare. None of the women I saw do anything disgusting like that in public. They are very refined and civilized and lady like.

So there is a world of difference between men and women in China. People need to distinguish that when they talk about the bad habit of Chinese people.

Btw, you say men aren't entitled to sex. Well maybe, but they should be entitled to prostitution at least, which should be legal. The societies in the Middle Ages and Renaissance, and even in the Old West America, understood that and provided legal affordable prostitution. Only modern liberal socialist America doesn't understand men's needs, because deny and hate human nature. Other societies are wiser and more understanding of men's needs, including the Europe of today.

Why don't you go without sex for a year or two, Yick, and see how it feels? Maybe then you will be more sympathetic about men's sexual needs and desires.
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Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby Winston » Thu Jul 21, 2016 11:03 am

Eric wrote:I know. Thank you frank for your reply. The only way I get my advice is from the Bible at this point. I've stopped looking ANY where else. period. It will not lie to you. Everytime. It is the only source of wisdom on life that tells you everything how it is. no bs. It also gives the best wisdom.
I appreciate your suggestions. And have thought of this myself, however, I recoil at paying for sex...etc, at least part of me is.

I think the existence of these guys that exist who bed lots of women exist to make the rest of us feel like shit. It's like some story telling that makes us feel like shit. Then we all beat ourselves up over it.
This blowhard has a point, I'd take it and gleaned it from his garbage...
but it still exists. It is still a force to reckon with.

Decisions decisions, thank you for your input, and thank you INDEED for your valuable points you bring up.
I will ponder them.


Yes there are elitist guys like that, they enjoy putting others down and making them feel incompetent, like shit. It's a form of subtle bullying, done very smoothly under the guise of "this is how life is, some guys aren't good enough, others are" etc. But then again, some guys just aren't sympathetic toward others and so will not say sympathetic things to guys who complain.

The Bible contains good advice and wisdom, yeah, but make sure to read other religious texts, like the Tao Te Ching, Hindu texts, Buddhist texts, etc. They all contain wisdom. You should utilize them too. Not limit yourself to one faith only. Diversity is God's beauty. There is diversity in this world, so why would God be so single minded (as Adama assumes) that he only wants you to study one religion but not others?

The Bible may have general moral guidelines. But i can't tell you what to do. For example if you have major decisions in your life and aren't sure which one to choose, the Bible can't tell you what to do. It can only give you general guidelines. Likewise, the BIble isn't going to tell you to go abroad or change your location if you aren't happy or getting the romance, sex, love that you need. But HA will! So we have solutions that religions don't. :)
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Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby Winston » Thu Jul 21, 2016 11:24 am

droid wrote:
gnosis wrote:I completely agree with you. For me, it is always a mixed bag. There are things I love and things that I cannot stand. Korea, for example. Fantastic public transportation. Fantastic healthcare system. Absolutely hated the culture. I was f***ing miserable in Korea. Never going back.


Can you expand on that? how long were you there?
@Winston, if you think the Taiwanese are bad, wait till you see Koreans haha, those motherf*kers really give you the 'You're just not there' and 'See thru you' treatment.


I already get that in Taiwan, and probably in Japan too. So the net result is the same. No human or social connection. No making of "new friends" etc.
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Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby Winston » Thu Jul 21, 2016 11:26 am

yick wrote:Hi Droid,

Great posts as usual but I would like to explain my tone towards Eric and why I adopted it.

If I went to my own father - or if my own son came up to me and said something along the lines of

'Why won't anyone give me sex? Why do I need to make an effort?'

He would probably belt me one (deservedly) I am sure if you went up to your father and said something along those lines - he would give you a talking to you, your grandfather, great-grandfather who stormed a beach at Guadalcanal would probably belt you one and tell you to sort your life out.

If I dared said something like that to my mates, they would laugh in my face and I would never hear the end of it - and they would call me a f***ing wuss.

I am trying to help him here, and give notice to people wanting to do this, it isn't an easy option in getting laid - as you know yourself.

It is an alternative to the life we had back home, where every man is viewed as a potential rapist or sexual deviant until they prove otherwise - kiddy fiddler, rapist, sexual predator - and all that gets tiring, so - if we escape all that - it doesn't mean the rules all change, all that happens is that the mindset of the women here is different - they won't see you as a potential rapist and you get the chance - that is ALL anyone can ask for in our new homes.

But I can't prettify this for him, the language has to be basic and has to be to the point so he understands. And the rest of the whining wusses who think they are owed sex.

Ghost thinks he is owed sex because of his productivity within society - you know - if people got sex based on that - he would be at the back of the queue again and bin men, people who get food to our table, water sanitation workers, nurses, doctors, law enforcement agents, fire fighters and the people who run public transport get laid before him - well, a bit like now - he would find there is no difference. :lol:

Get rid of the entitlement fellas, you are entitled to f**k all.


You seem to assume that effort always equals results, effort = results, but what if it doesn't? What about the guys who do put in the effort and get shot down and end up with nothing? What do you say to them? There are some cultures and cities where you put in a lot of effort and you get very little result in return, to the point where after a while you don't bother because the effort you put in isn't worth it. What do you suggest then? Why not admit that some places aren't good for some people, or that their destiny isn't there, or that God doesn't want them to be there, etc?
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Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby Winston » Thu Jul 21, 2016 11:27 am

Do you guys think that Yick and Tapiato may be the same person? They are both Mexican and say similar things right? Do their writing styles match? Their IP's don't, I already checked. So you will have to go by their writing styles and other clues.
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Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby Winston » Thu Jul 21, 2016 11:37 am

yick wrote:
gnosis wrote:
yick wrote:Ghost thinks he is owed sex because of his productivity within society


Don't you think workers are entitled to pay for sex with professionals should they desire? If you are productive and earning money, I think you should be allowed to spend as much of that money as you want on hookers.

gnosis wrote:Ghost thinks he is owed sex because of his productivity within society


Oh yeah, that is what happens in China now, men have sex with prostitutes or else they would never have sex. And retiredfrank gave this advice to Ghost and Eric and it was very good advice.

The problem is not that, it is the PTSD that some of the fellas on here suffer from relating back to High School and the fact they weren't the popular kid and they didn't get to f**k the cheerleaders. I understand America has a really poisonous social system for kids - especially in regards high school but there is a day one needs to realise that there are actually men who can get lots of sex from lots of women and there are people who can't - realise if that is you (plural) - that is you and go out and do something about it instead of hating the country - the truth is that most of these fellas like Eric, Ghost and MattHanson1990 would never have left America if he had got laid on his prom night with the head cheerleader - if they had, they would be there in their little house with a big stars and stripes hanging out from their front porch - the reason they are angry is because they think America has let them down socially and has not provided them with lots of sex - which is their god given right as white American men. :roll: Do they actually want to live abroad? Not really, they aren't willing to make the basic attempts to fit into their new homes - well MattHanson is learning Spanish - good for him I suppose. :roll:

And realise another thing - most men who are having lots of sex with lots of women are having sex with women you wouldn't shake hands with - I know a guy who has had sex with hundreds of women - most of them look like Boris Becker (his words) how many men are having the kind of sex with women YOU would want to f**k? Single figures, and probably under 3% - reserved for the likes of Mick Jagger and people of that kind of wealth and fame.

So, if one wants to have lots of sex with lots of nice looking women who he considers beautiful or at least attractive then P4P is the way to go around it for sure.

What Russia, China and the PI can offer you is the chance to get a nice looking woman with an education and background who you would never get in your own country. That's it really.


I think you are exaggerating here. Ghost and others here who have PTSD from high school are not claiming that they should have been a star athlete jock and dated cheerleaders. They just wanted a NORMAL social life where they had some friends and dated some girls, even if they were average girls. They just wanted to feel accepted, that's all and not much to ask for. No one deserves to be treated like shit in high school if they did nothing wrong. I got bullied a lot in school and resent it for that. It damaged my self-esteem, and even if I try to forget it, it's still there because it's part of your "root", just like the roots of a tree are still there, even if you don't see them. Our personality and identity forms during early childhood so those are the most crucial years. Even if I was a star now and had hot women everyday, those wounds would still be there, because they are part of the ROOT of my psyche. So you can't just forget your past and put it behind you, as people say. Easier said than done. Maybe you need to reprogram your subconscious mind or something.

Ghost doesn't need a woman that's hot. He, like most men, just wants a nice woman who is feminine, down to earth, not fat and has good values. Even if she's plain looking, as long as she's feminine and has traditional values, he and most men would be fine with that. That's not a lot to ask for, since that's how women are supposed to be and have been for thousands of years.

Ghost is not a complex person, at least not in this area. He is just a simple guy with simple needs. Nothing wrong with that. Are you claiming, Yick, that there is on such thing as a victim? There definitely are.
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Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby yick » Thu Jul 21, 2016 12:00 pm

Hi Yick,
Yes it may be doable. But remember, not everything is for everyone. There is no one size fits all. Plus just because something is doable or possible does not mean that it is PROBABLE or even the best thing for the person. For example, if I took you and a woman you were not compatible with, yes you two could work it out and get along if your life depended on it, but it doesn't mean it's the best thing for you. A job working at a factory may be doable for all, but many will not be happy doing it or be utilizing their best talents in it.


You're right, but it is YOUR responsibility to do something about it. That is all there is to it, what isn't going to happen, is that he is going to die a slow death through loneliness. :roll:

The average young guy cannot find a way to make a living in the US. If you ask the most experienced expats at the LivinginthePhilippines.com forum, they will not have a solution to this problem either. I don't think most young guys can get a job there, especially since the jobs there don't pay anything so you would be almost working for free. Most expats who retire to the Philippines have another source of income, or are financially independent, or have a business there. As usual, things are easier said than done.


You know what I would do if I was him - I would go and do this.

http://www.mihca.com.ph/SitePages/Courses.aspx?CourseID=Baking%20and%20Pastry

Go to the Philippines, learn how to bake bread, small cakes and pastries - open a little a shop there with my new wife, Marcos is out there now, how is he doing it? You have to think on your feet right? When your dad left Taiwan and went to the States, it was hard for him at first, it's hard for immigrants.

Yeah I know Dongguan is next to Shenzhen and Guangzhou. So it's in a major metropolitan area I guess, if you want to get technical. Btw, Dongguan no longer has p4p or brothels, at least not legal ones. The city is also not that modernized, that's why things are cheaper there. Zboy1 lives there and has a job at a good English school. Ghost can apply there too. But I don't know why he hasn't. Zboy1's apartment there is nice and only costs 1900 rmb per month, which is about 310 dollars.


Dongguan would be a better choice than a medium sized city in Henan, they are not the same even remotely, so Ghost should go there, I think he should go there.

What do you mean that "the problem is him and not China"? That is black and white American style thinking. I thought you're from Mexico. Why do you talk like an American? Can we see your photo? Did you grow up in America?


China isn't going to change, so if he isn't gelling with the place, he has to leave and find somewhere that does, because China isn't changing.

Also, what's with the strange request? Have you asked for Ghosts photo? I can send you my photo via email if you want but I don't want it being plastered all this forum (for obvious reasons) and no, I am not Mexican, I am British.

I told you, there is no such thing as "the problem is all one side and not the other". If you tried to eat spaghetti with a hammer and found it cumbersome and dangerous, does that mean there's something wrong with the hammer? No it doesn't. A hammer is not suited for eating. It's suited for pounding nails. That's what it does best. Try to understand this example so you will be more broad minded.


Then it is your responsibility to find a place that does gel, you have done this yourself more than once, that is what he should do. Make it work, his problem.

I don't vibe with Taiwanese culture or women at all either. But I do with Chinese. You can't expect everyone to vibe with one culture. It's not like Ghost is saying that he doesn't vibe with any culture. He does vibe with some. You gotta understand that Chinese and American culture are super materialistic and workaholic, and that turns off some freespirits. Others here have said they didn't vibe with Chinese culture too.

There are things about China I don't like too. I can see why some would not like it much. I think the girls in China are great, they are much more friendly, open minded, genuine, down to earth, and feminine than in America or Taiwan. To me, that's the most important thing. Ghost notices this too, but he doesn't have good chemistry or synergy with them. I don't think the typical all American guy or southern redneck would vibe well with Chinese girls either. They aren't for everyone.

Btw, when did Ghost say that Filipinos were "subhuman scum"? That's not the kind of word he uses. Maybe you mixed him up with someone else?


I don't disagree with any of this but it is his job, his responsibility, his problem, there was some post he made where he was angry at Filipinos and he called them 'sub-human scum' I don't know where the post is - it was a few months ago, he has publicly retracted it now anyway. :roll:

Have you ever been to a culture that you didn't vibe with? Or do you vibe with every culture? lol


Yeah, I was in South Korea for two years, didn't like it, got the f**k out, and will never return - easy!
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Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby yick » Thu Jul 21, 2016 12:16 pm

You are an idiot, Winston.

Listen, I am not Tapito, but I don't have much time for self pitying malcontents that fester your forum. Who think they are entitled to sex, even though they bring very little to the table, look - if you think I am a sock or I am another account then delete the account - I don't give a f**k.

The only thing is - I am 'Happier Abroad' one of the few who are. I hate to think I am polluting your precious forum by telling some of your whiny, entitled members to pull their socks up - if you want to leave it all to them then that is fine by me - delete my account. :roll:
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Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby MarcosZeitola » Thu Jul 21, 2016 1:01 pm

Ghost wrote:I thought I had saved her. I thought I had pulled her back from the brink. Of course I couldn't. It was such a stupid idea. She's going to go to the U.S. next year, to the f***ing American version of Sodom and Gomorrah. I lost her. She's going to end up a raging, hateful slut. A career bitch. This intelligent, sweet, kind-hearted Filipina is going to end up used and abandoned. And I have no power to stop her, to stop this evil. A woman can only have one source of guidance in her life. A boyfriend, father, brother, or husband has no power compared to a mighty corporation. We didn't just lose; we lost decisively. Now no man can fight back. What future can we have, what families and communities could we ever hope to form, what power could we ever hope to have - when the possibility of finding a decent wife is so shot to hell?

It's never a single heartbreak or failure that will kill you. It's the cumulative number of them that will grind you down. The first, second, maybe tenth or twentieth heartbreak will not end you. You'll pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back into the fight. But eventually you'll notice the pattern: every good time ends, and the pain returns. It will take a new form - another girl uses you and hurts you, a renewed hope gets crushed into dust - but you'll see that it keeps happening. When it starts getting good again, that's when you get ready to get steamrolled.

I lost. I always lose.


Don't sink away in depression just yet. As long as there is still one single sane man and one single sane woman left in this world, hope is not yet lost. What you want, what a lot of good men want, is attainable. It can be found. Things went wrong for you when you went against your own code of honor, when you broke a promise to yourself and began viewing a woman you swore yourself never to marry, as a potential wife and mother of your children.

You said you would never consider a non-virgin, then you found a great girl who wasn't one but who you really hit it off with. But your heart cannot have been in it. Was it? Did you love this girl, did you ever imagining yourself loving her? Or was that one single dick that "boldly went where no dick went before", before you did, was that one single dick going to always haunt you?

You made a promise to yourself. You wanted a virgin, nothing more, nothing less. Honor that promise. Otherwise your subconcious self will sabotage you. What you want is not that rare to find, it is possible. All hope is not lost, you just have to find yourself again and regain some strength. You had the emotional shit slapped out of you by your realization that a woman you were considering as a life partner, was a lost cause. But just because she is a lost cause, does not mean you have to be.
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Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby retiredfrank » Thu Jul 21, 2016 1:17 pm

Winston wrote:
Why don't you go without sex for a year or two, Yick, and see how it feels? Maybe then you will be more sympathetic about men's sexual needs and desires.


Any man who lets himself be led around by his dick (sexual desires) is a weakling fool. Sex is a means of self-expression. The physical urge is NEVER something we can't suppress, even as teenagers. Past age 30, it is easily controlled.
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Postby Ghost » Thu Jul 21, 2016 3:54 pm

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Last edited by Ghost on Fri Oct 28, 2016 10:54 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby Ghost » Thu Jul 21, 2016 4:13 pm

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Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby yick » Thu Jul 21, 2016 4:27 pm

Yeah, I kind of figured that out already. Are you just some kind of troll that wants to keep hammering on the same obvious notes? I know you're one of those "I can do anything" types of shitheads, so maybe you're just that dim-witted and single-minded.


Seeing as we are going for name calling, I might be dim witted but you are a wimp and think we are all as thick as you - entitled, soft, crappy, whiny personality probably scares them all off as well as your laziness because you can't be arsed to learn the language of the country you are in - 800 million women - around the same amount of women in Europe excluding the FSU and there isn't ONE woman you are compatible with - you complete and utter wanker. :roll:


Apparently you're mildly retarded,


And you are a soft wimp of a man.

so I'll explain it again. I like China fairly well. It's good for work, cost of living, food is fine, people are usually kind to me. It's just the one thing really - the women. And I don't dislike them. I've met plenty of sweet ones. I just don't have a connection with them.


How do you know when YOU CAN'T SPEAK THEIR LANGUAGE.

Can't read them.


Because you don't know their language and you can't be arsed learning.

Can't perceive any romantic interest from them, with maybe a couple of small exceptions. I'm getting back to a good situation again here in China. Trying to rebuild my old life here. I threw away "good enough" last time. Maybe I should just be happy with that since what I want doesn't exist anymore.


Because you can't speak Chinese, it is too hard, too difficult so you don't bother and write whiny threads on here - wimp.
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Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby MarcosZeitola » Thu Jul 21, 2016 5:05 pm

Ghost wrote:I never should have done it. It was a bad idea. If I do go through with this...I've lost something I'll never get back. Our choices survive us. If I gave my future kids that as a mother, what am I really doing to them? I struggle with this question daily.


I know your situation. I have been there before. I have met girls before, girls I could have seen myself caring about, falling for... I never went any further then that. Once I found out more about their past, about their bad choices, their issues, I decided no longer to pursue them. I never allowed myself to be in the position where I actually loved such a woman. When I was a teenager, I had a brief fling with a single mother who was two years older then me. I very quickly realized, she had too much baggage, too much history, that she was too damaged for anything beyond a sexual relationship.

Other men have been suckered into accepting damaged women, eventually falling for them and worshiping the ground they walk on. There is a "point of no return" with these things. Like when a mighty ship goes down and you do not swim away from it quick enough, it might just drag you down into the depths of the ocean... it may be a struggle, that you are having now. But you did the right thing.

Ghost wrote:I did love her and still do. She's changing. She'll become a career woman and eventually a hardened slut. I realize I can't stop it now. I'm just trying to prepare for the fallout. Virginity is not so much an emotional issue for me anymore. Now that I've had some women, that changed. It's purely a principle thing now.


You have your life experience now. You have loved and lost, you have been with women. You are in a far better position now to make the choices you have to make. Now is not the time to give up on your principles. These things are incredibly painful, and I accept that. I feel for you.

Ghost wrote:I did want more than a virgin. But just sensible things: kind, nurturing, at least somewhat intelligent, connection.


Those women are out there. The characteristics you describe can be found in many women. More specifically, they can be found in young Filipina women of college education level. Of which there are plenty, and a surprisingly high number of them are virgins.

Ghost wrote:Anyway, what's up with the penpals?


I replied to your PM already. This is a subject for more private conversation.
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Postby Ghost » Thu Jul 21, 2016 5:42 pm

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