Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Thurs nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts with FREE Prizes!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE Live AFA Seminar! See locations and details.


Scam free! Check out Christian Filipina - Meet Asian women with Christian values! Members screened.
Exclusive book offer! 75% off! How to Meet, Date and Marry Your Filipina Wife



View Active Topics       Latest 100 Topics       View Your Posts       FAQ Topics       Switch to Mobile


.

Discuss and talk about any general topic.

Moderators: jamesbond, fschmidt

Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby Winston » Thu Jul 21, 2016 8:47 pm

yick wrote:You are an idiot, Winston.

Listen, I am not Tapito, but I don't have much time for self pitying malcontents that fester your forum. Who think they are entitled to sex, even though they bring very little to the table, look - if you think I am a sock or I am another account then delete the account - I don't give a f**k.

The only thing is - I am 'Happier Abroad' one of the few who are. I hate to think I am polluting your precious forum by telling some of your whiny, entitled members to pull their socks up - if you want to leave it all to them then that is fine by me - delete my account. :roll:


Hey man. Calm down. I just asked a question. People here have used multiple usernames before. So it's not outside of the realm of possibility. For example, that troll Blue Murder was talking down on everyone here and using other usernames like Laboratory Mouse and Eightfold Path before. So you never know. Some forum members here even raised up the possibility that I post under different user names too. One guy even brought up the weird theory that I may be behind JamesBond too. lol.

Plus I don't know you. So anything is possible. I never accused you of being Tapiato. I merely asked if you were. Don't take offense to that. If you were a real man, you would not take offense so easily but be understanding that on a forum of strangers, such things are possible.

Remember, I don't know you. You haven't shown your photo or name here. So we can assume anything. You can't expect everyone to assume that an anonymous unnamed person like you must be credible and honest, just because he says he is. Every man claims to be honest, even the biggest con man does, but it doesn't make it true. Evidence is what counts, not words. Be realistic man.

So if you're a Brit, then why do you have a Mexican name in your email to me? Can you explain?
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
User avatar
Winston
Site Admin
 
Posts: 23596
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 1:16 pm







Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby Winston » Thu Jul 21, 2016 9:04 pm

One more thing Yick.

You said: "I don't have much time for self pitying malcontents that fester your forum". Fine, if you don't have sympathy for people who are frustrated, confused or suffering, and aren't in perfect situations, then fine. But why don't you just ignore them then? WHY do you feel the need to put them down and insult them? Bashing someone is NOT going to help their situation at all. If you were a motivational speaker or therapist, you'd be fired instantly and booed off the stage. Your people skills seem to suck and you don't have tact. So I can't imagine you being socially successful wherever you go, even in China, because you appear to be lacking in social tact and people skills. We all know people with good people skills, and they talk nothing like you.

Talking down on people complaining isn't going to help them either, it's only going to make things worse. Wise aware people know this. You don't seem to be wise or sensitive. That makes you unlikable to good women in general and to people with good hearts. So I doubt that you are as socially successful as you claim. People who are well liked by others tend to have tact, and they try to brings others UP, NOT DOWN. They don't make problems worse for other people. No way. Such habits as yours tend to make others dislike and avoid you, because you only make their problems and difficulties worse. There are many suffering people in this world, and making it worse isn't going to help them. I'll bet you that your acquaintances and friends DO NOT come to you with their problems looking for a kind ear to hear them. So I highly doubt you have many friends who trust you and want to be around you to bathe in your "positive aura" (not).

There's an old adage: If you don't have something nice to say to someone, better not to say anything at all. Otherwise, you are only spreading negativity, hostility and antagonism. If you don't care about other people's problems, then leave them alone and don't get involved by insulting them or putting them down. Just ignore them and find other positive or meaningful ways to contribute in other areas. Let others who are better at helping people respond to them. Simple as that. You aren't cut out to be a counselor, mentor or advisor. So don't play the role you aren't suited for. Perhaps you are better suited to be a drill sergeant.

Anyhow, for now please ease off on the insults. You seem to think this is the army and you are the drill sergeant. Well your way of talking down to others might be the way to do it in army boot camp. But this is not army boot camp. This is a community of frustrated people who are misfits in their own country who seek love and happiness overseas. It's more like a support group than a boot camp. So treat the other members here like members of a support group please. You need to distinguish the difference between the two. Your methods just don't work for this kind of environment and setting. A wise person should be able to see that.

Bottom line is that your belittling tactics and victim blaming mentality here doesn't help anyone. It only makes things worse. A wise and aware person can see this and realize the folly of their ways.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
User avatar
Winston
Site Admin
 
Posts: 23596
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 1:16 pm

Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby gnosis » Thu Jul 21, 2016 9:10 pm

Winston wrote:Some forum members here even raised up the possibility that I post under different user names too. One guy even brought up the weird theory that I may be behind JamesBond too. lol.


It's possible. :D
User avatar
gnosis
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 437
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 2:52 pm

Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby gsjackson » Fri Jul 22, 2016 12:59 am

Winston wrote:So if you're a Brit, then why do you have a Mexican name in your email to me? Can you explain?


He did explain, Wink. He's of Spanish heritage, but was born and grew up in the UK. And he's an excellent poster, even if he is a bit over-enamored, like retiredfrank, with the 'tough love' approach to dealing with other posters, so don't run him off.
gsjackson
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1469
Joined: Sat Jun 12, 2010 2:08 pm
Location: New Orleans, LA USA

Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby yick » Fri Jul 22, 2016 4:03 am

Thank you gsjackson - much appreciated. :D

Now...

Plus I don't know you. So anything is possible. I never accused you of being Tapiato. I merely asked if you were. Don't take offense to that. If you were a real man, you would not take offense so easily but be understanding that on a forum of strangers, such things are possible.


And if you were a real man, you would be back in the Philippines, looking after your only son, you have a good father - that I do know, but happy to deny your son the same privilege, so let's just agree you are no arbiter on what behaviour constitutes a real man.

Remember, I don't know you. You haven't shown your photo or name here.


You haven't seen Ghosts name or face on here - or many of the posters now I think of it, I actually work, I don't actually have the luxury to be putting up my name and face on here. You have the luxury of banning my account and you are free to do so anytime.

So we can assume anything. You can't expect everyone to assume that an anonymous unnamed person like you must be credible and honest, just because he says he is. Every man claims to be honest, even the biggest con man does, but it doesn't make it true. Evidence is what counts, not words. Be realistic man.


And it is the same for everyone else, if we have a thread where all your posters put their real name and photo up then I will. But you know my real name anyway so I don't see why it needs to be put up on here.

So if you're a Brit, then why do you have a Mexican name in your email to me? Can you explain?


You are called Winston - you are an American of Chinese ethnicity? Why are you called Winston?

Why why why? I demand an explanation.

f**k off :roll:

Are you serious? You are meant to have a high IQ - act like it.

I have a Spanish name because my mum is from that particular linguistic culture. Nothing hard about it - Brits have all kinds of weird and wonderful names, not everyone in the UK is called Peter, John and Joseph - those fantastic (non) British names.
yick
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 440
Joined: Fri Oct 23, 2015 9:11 am

Postby Ghost » Fri Jul 22, 2016 4:04 am

.
Last edited by Ghost on Fri Oct 28, 2016 10:44 am, edited 2 times in total.
Ghost
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 5749
Joined: Sun Apr 17, 2011 1:23 am

Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby gnosis » Fri Jul 22, 2016 4:44 am

Ghost wrote:My girl and I had a big argument last night. We also tend to have arguments once every day or two. Like I've said, it's all hanging by a thread. I'm pretty sure a breakup is imminent. She wanted to last night, but I convinced her not to. I'm not sure it was a good idea to continue this train wreck.


Don't torture yourself. If she said she wanted to break it off, then break it off. You deserve better than this. She should be 100% dedicated to you. And if she's not...Then throw her out (figuratively -- I know you are living apart).

Is there a filipino population in the Chinese city you live in?
User avatar
gnosis
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 437
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 2:52 pm

Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby abcdavid01 » Fri Jul 22, 2016 6:51 am

Ghost wrote:I should probably give this up and just try to find the most beautiful and nubile 19 year old pinay I can and go try to make babies with someone 100% family oriented.


Yes, you should do this. I was harsh on you before because it looked like you were giving up. I want you to succeed. You're probably one of my favorite posters here. You can be harsh too, I know you're like that with my friend Tsar, but it's like you said about seeing yourself in him. It looks like you're getting things together though and that's wonderful.

The best girl I ever knew was bipolar. She'd sing me love songs at 4AM and act like I'm the devil the next morning. I had to break it off and it was hard, but a man is measured by his strength. You deserve better Ghost.
中国人万岁! 中国美女万岁!
abcdavid01
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1580
Joined: Sun Nov 18, 2012 6:52 am
Location: On the run

Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby ethan_sg » Fri Jul 22, 2016 7:40 am

If a girl ever suggests breakup you need be the man and follow through with it. Convincing her not to breakup just comes across as weak and puts control in her hands. Remember you have better options out there and need to get out of this scarcity mindset.


Ghost wrote:My girl and I had a big argument last night. We also tend to have arguments once every day or two. Like I've said, it's all hanging by a thread. I'm pretty sure a breakup is imminent. She wanted to last night, but I convinced her not to. I'm not sure it was a good idea to continue this train wreck. When a woman gets corrupted, she never really gets deprogrammed. I kept asking her what her ultimate goal was with her career, but she couldn't answer me. Even smart women get sucked into this trap. It feels "good" to have a "career" so they assume that career = fulfillment. This girl logically understands that being a wife and mother is most fulfilling, but it also means sacrificing her career, which she doesn't want to do.

It's so strange with this girl. Sometimes she's like a Western female, then at other times she's like a pinay.

I should probably give this up and just try to find the most beautiful and nubile 19 year old pinay I can and go try to make babies with someone 100% family oriented.
Chinaebuys - http://www.chinaebuys.com
Buy and Ship any Product Internationally from China
Shipping to more than 200 countries worldwide
ethan_sg
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 228
Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2011 10:18 am
Location: Shanghai

Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby Adama » Fri Jul 22, 2016 3:08 pm

Getting into arguments every day or two? It sounds like she's the same person he is. Like goes to like. That's what he managed to attract.
Look for women who automatically want to please you because it pleases them. Any woman who seeks to please her man is a treasure. Even better if you don't have to ask but rather suggest.
User avatar
Adama
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 3949
Joined: Sun Aug 23, 2009 9:37 pm

Postby Ghost » Fri Jul 22, 2016 5:42 pm

.
Last edited by Ghost on Fri Oct 28, 2016 10:45 am, edited 2 times in total.
Ghost
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 5749
Joined: Sun Apr 17, 2011 1:23 am

Postby Ghost » Fri Jul 22, 2016 6:09 pm

.
Last edited by Ghost on Fri Oct 28, 2016 10:48 am, edited 1 time in total.
Ghost
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 5749
Joined: Sun Apr 17, 2011 1:23 am

Postby Ghost » Fri Jul 22, 2016 6:17 pm

.
Last edited by Ghost on Fri Oct 28, 2016 10:49 am, edited 3 times in total.
Ghost
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 5749
Joined: Sun Apr 17, 2011 1:23 am

Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby Winston » Fri Jul 22, 2016 11:22 pm

yick wrote:Thank you gsjackson - much appreciated. :D

Now...

Plus I don't know you. So anything is possible. I never accused you of being Tapiato. I merely asked if you were. Don't take offense to that. If you were a real man, you would not take offense so easily but be understanding that on a forum of strangers, such things are possible.


And if you were a real man, you would be back in the Philippines, looking after your only son, you have a good father - that I do know, but happy to deny your son the same privilege, so let's just agree you are no arbiter on what behaviour constitutes a real man.

Remember, I don't know you. You haven't shown your photo or name here.


You haven't seen Ghosts name or face on here - or many of the posters now I think of it, I actually work, I don't actually have the luxury to be putting up my name and face on here. You have the luxury of banning my account and you are free to do so anytime.

So we can assume anything. You can't expect everyone to assume that an anonymous unnamed person like you must be credible and honest, just because he says he is. Every man claims to be honest, even the biggest con man does, but it doesn't make it true. Evidence is what counts, not words. Be realistic man.


And it is the same for everyone else, if we have a thread where all your posters put their real name and photo up then I will. But you know my real name anyway so I don't see why it needs to be put up on here.

So if you're a Brit, then why do you have a Mexican name in your email to me? Can you explain?


You are called Winston - you are an American of Chinese ethnicity? Why are you called Winston?

Why why why? I demand an explanation.

f**k off :roll:

Are you serious? You are meant to have a high IQ - act like it.

I have a Spanish name because my mum is from that particular linguistic culture. Nothing hard about it - Brits have all kinds of weird and wonderful names, not everyone in the UK is called Peter, John and Joseph - those fantastic (non) British names.


Ummm no sorry dude. Ghost is not a stranger to me. I know what he looks like. I know his real name and seen his photos. He is part of some of my WeChat groups in China. Remember that a lot of my friends are on this forum that I know in person. Not everyone here is a stranger to me.

Well I've known real men. They aren't offended by little questions such as "Maybe Yick and Tapatio are the same person". Do you think Chuck Norris would be offended by trivial questions like that? He's a real man.

Why should I ban you? I'm not the type of guy who bans everyone he gets into a scuffle with or dislikes. I'm fair. Everyone here knows that. You gotta break the rules to be banned. Do you think I'd sink to your level and ban everyone who disagrees with you? lol. Everyone here knows I'm above that.

My name is Winston because it sounds like my Chinese name. But I think it's also because I was British in some of my past lives, since I have memories and impressions of being British and coming from the aristocracy there.

Truly confident men aren't unnerved by innocent questions such as "Why do you have a Spanish name if you're British" etc.

Look man. I just asked you to be more tactful and consider the victim or complainer's point of view. Like I said, this isn't army boot camp, so your "tough love" antics are INAPPROPRIATE for this setting. We are more like a support group of guys. But hey, maybe that's how you were raised. If so, fine, but don't bring your parent's military style upbringing here. It won't work, is inappropriate and will only make things worse.

Why don't you start by giving Ghost some constructive advice that is realistic and will work? Just telling him to "make it work" is useless. Any dumbass can say that. Doesn't mean anything. Next time put some THOUGHT and DETAIL into your advice, not just spout random cliches like "Make it work" etc which are useless. Give him a step by step realistic solution.

My advice is for him to try Dongguan first. Zboy1 has a good English school there and he can set Ghost up with a job.

Otherwise, if he wants to go to the Philippines, then he can do it. There are dirt cheap apartments for 3000 pesos per month, he can get, which is like 75 dollars a month. They consist of a small room and fan. Not nice, but better than nothing and livable. From there, he can work online as a freelancer and make a few hundred a month. Most Filipinos earn less than 200 dollars a month, and many more earn nothing at all, yet they still manage to live there. So why can't Ghost do the same? I have even heard of expats in Filipino villages paying 50 dollars a month for rent.

Btw, why is Ghost talking about a breakup with a new girl? I thought she was just a language exchange partner? Not a girlfriend? Did I miss something?
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
User avatar
Winston
Site Admin
 
Posts: 23596
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 1:16 pm

Re: Slow Death Through Loneliness

Postby gnosis » Fri Jul 22, 2016 11:52 pm

Ghost wrote:She told me tonight that turned down her "opportunity" to go to the U.S. next year. Maybe I haven't lost her after all.


Are you really attached to this girl? If so, then this is good news.
User avatar
gnosis
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 437
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 2:52 pm

PreviousNext

Return to General Discussions

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests