Why don't I feel any social anxiety outside America/Taiwan?

[Winston]

How come I always feel social anxiety in America and Taiwan, but not in other countries like Russia or Philippines or China? It's a very noticeable difference. I remember when I returned from Russia to Bellingham, WA in 2003, I couldn't go out for weeks. I felt such social anxiety outside, like a total fish out of water. Why was it so strong? Any of you felt the same way?

Why am I so oversensitive? I feel it in Taiwan too. It's not shyness at all though. It's kind of like a disconnect and not vibing with the people and culture. When everyone is stuck up and antisocial and doesn't want to meet you or make friends or connect with you, how are you supposed to fit in anyway? Plus when people don't have real emotions or souls, which makes it too hard to connect with them, I feel like I don't belong at all, which causes social anxiety. You simply don't feel accepted, loved or validated, as if you don't belong. Eventually it results in loneliness and alienation, which eventually starts to eat at your soul and deteriorate your mental health, which in turn slows down your reflexes.

At this point, you know that psychiatrists in America want to medicate you, because it's profitable to their industry of course, and it fits in with America's plan for a "Brave New World", but you know it's not necessary and not your problem, because you didn't feel social anxiety when you were abroad and happier in a country with more social connection.

The problem with being in America is not about just not being able to get decent dates or women. It's the VIBE that makes you feel bad about yourself, like there's always something wrong with you and you are never accepted for you. When you're in America, the vibe feels very negative and toxic and antisocial. It gives you social anxiety because everyone is too judgmental and toxic and fake. People are always assuming the WORST about you and others. You can't be yourself. There's no freedom to be yourself or express yourself. That's why you feel social anxiety in a toxic environment that tries to bring out the worst in you. The vibe feels empty and soulless too because you can't connect with people, since they no longer have real souls or emotions.

Watch the 1978 movie "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" and you'll see what I mean. Everyone's been replaced by alien clones with no emotion or feel or soul. That movie predicted it would happen and it did. It happened while everyone was "asleep" (pun intended) so no one noticed except those who weren't replaced by clones for some reason, like us.

You know what I mean?

[GoingAwol]

I know what you mean, Winston. I'm very shy around American women and don't even feel comfortable making eye contact with them because they always reject me. I started talking to foreign women, particularly Russians, about a year ago and it really opened my eyes. For so long, I had thought that I was the problem. I thought that I was a socially inept loser who didn't know how to talk to women. When I started talking to Russian women, I realized that I had what it took to connect with women. I can have playful and deep conversations with Russian women with no problems whatsoever. They laugh at my jokes, blush when I flirt with them, and even tell me i'm very charming. American women, on the other hand, are like robots that never respond to me emotionally. My experiences have led me to believe that they are the problem, not me.

[Taco]

How come I always feel social anxiety in America and Taiwan, but not in other countries like Russia or Philippines or China?

Its simple. Friendship is valuable commodity in the Philippines, in western countries it isn't.

I'm not sure what's worse for me. Going to church or going to a family reunion back home.

[Winston]

Here's my theory about social anxiety:

If you're in a country where you don't fit in with the people or culture, then subconsciously you feel like the people around you don't like you, and that they are looking at you thinking, "What's wrong with him? He's weird." because you're not like them. So, when you feel that everyone perceives you negatively, you don't feel comfortable in your own skin and thus you become more withdrawn and introverted. You make excuses not to go out because going out isn't a comfortable experience, because you don't feel comfortable around others or with yourself, since you don't fit in. Therefore that turns into "social anxiety". And it negatively affects your confidence, self-esteem and mental health of course.

What do you think? I think that explanation makes more sense than the American psychiatric explanation, which is that social anxiety is a mental disorder that randomly pops up for no reason except due to a neurological imbalance. This implies that society is normal and healthy and that only the sufferer is at fault. It's a false assumption, but no one dares to counter it.

If my explanation is correct, then going abroad is the SOLUTION, not getting medication. What if I walked into an American psychiatrist office and told them this? Would they listen to me and turn away from their drug prescribing behavior? lol. Yeah right. In fact, what if I went to a national conference of the American Psychiatrist Association and told them I have a solution to mental illness that doesn't involve drugs or therapy, and that this was a groundbreaking solution that works? And then proceeded to tell them about the Happier Abroad solution? Would they applaud me and then publish my solution in their psychiatric journals? LOL. Yeah right. There's simply no profit for the drug industry to tell anyone about the HA solution.

[Winston]

I know what you mean, Winston. I'm very shy around American women and don't even feel comfortable making eye contact with them because they always reject me. I started talking to foreign women, particularly Russians, about a year ago and it really opened my eyes. For so long, I had thought that I was the problem. I thought that I was a socially inept loser who didn't know how to talk to women. When I started talking to Russian women, I realized that I had what it took to connect with women. I can have playful and deep conversations with Russian women with no problems whatsoever. They laugh at my jokes, blush when I flirt with them, and even tell me i'm very charming. American women, on the other hand, are like robots that never respond to me emotionally. My experiences have led me to believe that they are the problem, not me.

I had the exact same experience! When I first went to Russia, I couldn't believe how EASY and NATURAL it was to talk to Russian women. In fact, on my second trip there, when I told them that in America, people say I lack confidence, the Russian women would reply, "That's strange. You don't seem to lack confidence at all." So you see, I seemed super confident and comfortable in Russia because I could connect with the women easily. So they were surprised to hear that in America, I was told that I lack confidence. In fact, even with the language barrier, I could still hold normal conversations with Russian girls for a long time.

How can you act confident around people who don't like you, as in the case with American women? We all know that if someone doesn't like you, you and them are not gonna be comfortable around each other, so better that you and them ignore each other. That's why strangers don't talk to each other in America, especially young women.

[Nomad]

I think television, lack of a community, and the diverse population, pretty much drives people into isolation.

There is so much fear propaganda being pushed now-days in America, its absolutely insane. So there is no trust in the population no more.

[Bao3niang]

If you are so upset with Taiwan and the US, why don't you just decide to sever ties? You actually had a chance in China even with your poor Chinese, but me and quite a few other ex-posters know about what happened in its entirety. It's much better to just do it rather than constantly complain, you have the ability and the resources. I heard you are returning to China soon so this time you'd better be wiser. Wake up, you should just settle with a decent woman in all regards. You are already in your 40s, you don't have much time left to find a wife. Aren't your parents anxious?

[yick]

I think it is to do with your past life, you are in Taiwan and that is an organic link to your childhood - which if I remember rightly wasn't all that happy. And that you are living in your parents place - maybe your presence in Taiwan is keep the past alive, even though it isn't America, it is still an integral part of your childhood and the memories attached to it, it would be like going back to your hometown in essence.

How about Vietnam or Indonesia, as far as I know - you haven't tried being 'happier abroad' in those places yet. But I can understand why Taiwan spooks you out.

[USA_luxury_prison]

How come I always feel social anxiety in America and Taiwan, but not in other countries like Russia or Philippines or China? It's a very noticeable difference. I remember when I returned from Russia to Bellingham, WA in 2003, I couldn't go out for weeks. I felt such social anxiety outside, like a total fish out of water. Why was it so strong? Any of you felt the same way?

Why am I so oversensitive? I feel it in Taiwan too. It's not shyness at all though. It's kind of like a disconnect and not vibing with the people and culture. When everyone is stuck up and antisocial and doesn't want to meet you or make friends or connect with you, how are you supposed to fit in anyway? Plus when people don't have real emotions or souls, which makes it too hard to connect with them, I feel like I don't belong at all, which causes social anxiety. You simply don't feel accepted, loved or validated, as if you don't belong. Eventually it results in loneliness and alienation, which eventually starts to eat at your soul and deteriorate your mental health, which in turn slows down your reflexes.

At this point, you know that psychiatrists in America want to medicate you, because it's profitable to their industry of course, and it fits in with America's plan for a "Brave New World", but you know it's not necessary and not your problem, because you didn't feel social anxiety when you were abroad and happier in a country with more social connection.

The problem with being in America is not about just not being able to get decent dates or women. It's the VIBE that makes you feel bad about yourself, like there's always something wrong with you and you are never accepted for you. When you're in America, the vibe feels very negative and toxic and antisocial. It gives you social anxiety because everyone is too judgmental and toxic and fake. People are always assuming the WORST about you and others. You can't be yourself. There's no freedom to be yourself or express yourself. That's why you feel social anxiety in a toxic environment that tries to bring out the worst in you. The vibe feels empty and soulless too because you can't connect with people, since they no longer have real souls or emotions.

Watch the 1978 movie "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" and you'll see what I mean. Everyone's been replaced by alien clones with no emotion or feel or soul. That movie predicted it would happen and it did. It happened while everyone was "asleep" (pun intended) so no one noticed except those who weren't replaced by clones for some reason, like us.

You know what I mean?

I was just about to make a post about why it feels like you can't be yourself here in the states until I saw this post. I know exactly what you mean Winston. It's crazy how easy it seems to become mentally screwed up just by being here for awhile. I don't know if you've noticed but have you seen the looks in people's eyes nowadays? It seems like most people and if not just about everyone is a bit mentally f*cked up. Even just by getting onto facebook and seeing people's pics you can tell there is something wrong with people just by the look in their eyes. It seems like everyone is struggling to stay sane here in the US. It's crazy. Hopefully I can get a better job and save up for that trip abroad pretty soon. I want to leave now.lol

[livefreeordie]

One of the big reasons for that is the decrepit hatred, mistrust and cynicism women are giving off in that western environment by their programming, either consciously or subconsciously, looking at men like they are potential rapists, child abusers, cheaters, whore-mongers and scumbags, which is rarer to experience with the occasional full blow man-hater who will look at you like you have committed a crime, to the more common 'you are invisible to me' default of most western women, who will avoid eye contact, being in your proximity and generally make you feel like a creep just for having a sexual or romantic interest in women or them. Most western men at least are practical and logical and we can relate to and be comfortable with that.

Of course this is going to make you feel uncomfortable and it certainly made me feel 'tainted', especially when I sensed a woman's fear that I was a goddamn potential rapist, just for walking home after getting off the train at night. Its disgusting and perhaps we need to give them back a dose of their own medicine, with a default, 'you are the one who has something wrong with you' vibe, lol? It really is disgusting how women are treating men as some kind of leper types and you can just feel the lack of respect Australian women have by default, like we are some kind of unnecessary evil in society or something.

What ive come to think is that in Australia, as well as in Perth, WA, people may stop for a casual chit chat and be friendly, but many are very conformist and statist in their thinking, which probably makes me put off a bit of a 'space alien' vibe since I am the direct opposite of that, and I think generally that kind of zombie statist slave mentality isn't matched to being an open minded friendly person that is open to meeting people and making new friends. God forbid anything intelligent is discussed like the reality behind politics beyond the MSM news.

Generally a lot of people aren't open to meeting new people or making friends, because many people simply dont have much in common with myself or yourself, or if they do, are in their own little box world, and I see that sort of 'white picket fence' mentality especially strong or at least getting stronger in men who are with Australian girlfriends and even more so with wives

I find that I feel a sort of 'FU' wall grow around me when im out and about in Perth West Australia, perhaps its to bounce off all the little minded waves of dissatisfaction and judgement and probably more so the unconscious loathing from women, as well as from the conformists aiming their beams of disapproval at me, maybe its all in my head, but I know that there is a growing resentment that I have for conformists and what I am starting to label as the 'zombie herd'.I have no time for zombie interests like football, sports, getting wasted with their mates or crap like that. Nothing wrong with those hobbies but not at the exclusion of being obsessed with them at the cost of everything important and sacred like freedom and decency which is rapidly eroding in Australia.

[dancilley]

Jordan Peterson says that the brain's serotonin level fluctuates based on how people treat you. If people treat you poorly, ignore you, or disrespect you, your serotonin level will diminish, which causes you to feel anxious, that the environment is dangerous, even though it objectively may not be. You feel on edge and you react more emotionally strongly to negative stimuli.

But if you are respected by others, your serotonin level will go up, and you will feel less anxious, and more at ease. I think this is what is happening to Winston and others when they go abroad. The women look at you and smile at you and respect you. You feel valuable. Your status is higher.

Or, you could take an SSRI drug, which would lower your anxiety artificially, but at a financial cost, and a cost to your health in one way or another (because all drugs are toxic). And it seems that people who take psychiatric medication may be less anxious, but their personality changes into a more sociopathic one. They may be too confident and not as caring or empathetic. In other words, "soulless." I read somewhere that 1 out of 5 white people takes psychiatric medication in the U.S.A.

Also, alcohol, caffeine, etc. are similar, in that they make a person feel better, but at a cost to their personality, their soul.

[cheesesweat]

One of the big reasons for that is the decrepit hatred, mistrust and cynicism women are giving off in that western environment by their programming, either consciously or subconsciously, looking at men like they are potential rapists, child abusers, cheaters, whore-mongers and scumbags, which is rarer to experience with the occasional full blow man-hater who will look at you like you have committed a crime, to the more common 'you are invisible to me' default of most western women, who will avoid eye contact, being in your proximity and generally make you feel like a creep just for having a sexual or romantic interest in women or them. Most western men at least are practical and logical and we can relate to and be comfortable with that.

Of course this is going to make you feel uncomfortable and it certainly made me feel 'tainted', especially when I sensed a woman's fear that I was a goddamn potential rapist, just for walking home after getting off the train at night. Its disgusting and perhaps we need to give them back a dose of their own medicine, with a default, 'you are the one who has something wrong with you' vibe, lol? It really is disgusting how women are treating men as some kind of leper types and you can just feel the lack of respect Australian women have by default, like we are some kind of unnecessary evil in society or something.

What ive come to think is that in Australia, as well as in Perth, WA, people may stop for a casual chit chat and be friendly, but many are very conformist and statist in their thinking, which probably makes me put off a bit of a 'space alien' vibe since I am the direct opposite of that, and I think generally that kind of zombie statist slave mentality isn't matched to being an open minded friendly person that is open to meeting people and making new friends. God forbid anything intelligent is discussed like the reality behind politics beyond the MSM news.

Generally a lot of people aren't open to meeting new people or making friends, because many people simply dont have much in common with myself or yourself, or if they do, are in their own little box world, and I see that sort of 'white picket fence' mentality especially strong or at least getting stronger in men who are with Australian girlfriends and even more so with wives

I find that I feel a sort of 'FU' wall grow around me when im out and about in Perth West Australia, perhaps its to bounce off all the little minded waves of dissatisfaction and judgement and probably more so the unconscious loathing from women, as well as from the conformists aiming their beams of disapproval at me, maybe its all in my head, but I know that there is a growing resentment that I have for conformists and what I am starting to label as the 'zombie herd'.I have no time for zombie interests like football, sports, getting wasted with their mates or crap like that. Nothing wrong with those hobbies but not at the exclusion of being obsessed with them at the cost of everything important and sacred like freedom and decency which is rapidly eroding in Australia.

Seems that Western nations, especially the Anglosphere, are absolutely terrible for you mental, emotional and even physical well being.

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

One of the big reasons for that is the decrepit hatred, mistrust and cynicism women are giving off in that western environment by their programming, either consciously or subconsciously, looking at men like they are potential rapists, child abusers, cheaters, whore-mongers and scumbags, which is rarer to experience with the occasional full blow man-hater who will look at you like you have committed a crime, to the more common 'you are invisible to me' default of most western women, who will avoid eye contact, being in your proximity and generally make you feel like a creep just for having a sexual or romantic interest in women or them. Most western men at least are practical and logical and we can relate to and be comfortable with that.

Of course this is going to make you feel uncomfortable and it certainly made me feel 'tainted', especially when I sensed a woman's fear that I was a goddamn potential rapist, just for walking home after getting off the train at night. Its disgusting and perhaps we need to give them back a dose of their own medicine, with a default, 'you are the one who has something wrong with you' vibe, lol? It really is disgusting how women are treating men as some kind of leper types and you can just feel the lack of respect Australian women have by default, like we are some kind of unnecessary evil in society or something.

What ive come to think is that in Australia, as well as in Perth, WA, people may stop for a casual chit chat and be friendly, but many are very conformist and statist in their thinking, which probably makes me put off a bit of a 'space alien' vibe since I am the direct opposite of that, and I think generally that kind of zombie statist slave mentality isn't matched to being an open minded friendly person that is open to meeting people and making new friends. God forbid anything intelligent is discussed like the reality behind politics beyond the MSM news.

Generally a lot of people aren't open to meeting new people or making friends, because many people simply dont have much in common with myself or yourself, or if they do, are in their own little box world, and I see that sort of 'white picket fence' mentality especially strong or at least getting stronger in men who are with Australian girlfriends and even more so with wives

I find that I feel a sort of 'FU' wall grow around me when im out and about in Perth West Australia, perhaps its to bounce off all the little minded waves of dissatisfaction and judgement and probably more so the unconscious loathing from women, as well as from the conformists aiming their beams of disapproval at me, maybe its all in my head, but I know that there is a growing resentment that I have for conformists and what I am starting to label as the 'zombie herd'.I have no time for zombie interests like football, sports, getting wasted with their mates or crap like that. Nothing wrong with those hobbies but not at the exclusion of being obsessed with them at the cost of everything important and sacred like freedom and decency which is rapidly eroding in Australia.

Seems that Western nations, especially the Anglosphere, are absolutely terrible for you mental, emotional and even physical well being.

...unless you know you are free by working remotely or having a copious amount of residual income from being in total control of your own ingress of finances. Remember: English is the most bastardized European language. Mainland Europeans were the ones whom civlised the Anglo-Saxons into standing erect and forming their own language from Latin, Germanic, Romantic, and Slavic interpolations. Since the Anglo-Saxons were that cavemannish, go figure on why they tried to take over the whole world (and almost did) and why Americans are the way Americans are. As the old adage goes, "the apple.....". Enough said.

[mattyman]

@ Winston

I think what you're saying is that people are less forgiving of things like introversion in the American environment than they are in the environments you've been to overseas.

Regarding the note about the 'vibe' that Winston is talking about, it's that sense that people are always comparing themselves to you, looking for ways to one-up. I get that. You didn't get it with the couchsurfing meets.

I'm from England though it's not as bad as America there are a lot of elements talked about on this site that maybe applicable in comparisons with say Spain or Greece and the UK to a lesser degree.

Another note about social anxiety; the abundance factor (a slightly different topic) also plays a part (part f the 'why' rather than the 'what' you care about people thinking). You know when you meet a really hot girl who's super easy to talk to? Sometimes we socially-anxious folks (well everyone to a degree) gets that 'OMG must not f**k-it up, must be perfect' feeling. NOW, if girls like that are COMMON vs. RARE. This is the un-PC thing to say but it DOES influence the degree of the WHY we care about what people think of us. Remember the 'all your eggs in one basket' effect. If those sorts of girls are rare, when you find one it can quite literally feel like all your eggs are in one basket. This affect applies less when you've god greater assurance that you'll meet people of those types again rather than wait half an ice age.

[cheesesweat]

How come I always feel social anxiety in America and Taiwan, but not in other countries like Russia or Philippines or China? It's a very noticeable difference. I remember when I returned from Russia to Bellingham, WA in 2003, I couldn't go out for weeks. I felt such social anxiety outside, like a total fish out of water. Why was it so strong? Any of you felt the same way?

Why am I so oversensitive? I feel it in Taiwan too. It's not shyness at all though. It's kind of like a disconnect and not vibing with the people and culture. When everyone is stuck up and antisocial and doesn't want to meet you or make friends or connect with you, how are you supposed to fit in anyway? Plus when people don't have real emotions or souls, which makes it too hard to connect with them, I feel like I don't belong at all, which causes social anxiety. You simply don't feel accepted, loved or validated, as if you don't belong.

The problem with being in America is not about just not being able to get decent dates or women. It's the VIBE that makes you feel bad about yourself, like there's always something wrong with you and you are never accepted for you. When you're in America, the vibe feels very negative and toxic and antisocial. It gives you social anxiety because everyone is too judgmental and toxic and fake. People are always assuming the WORST about you and others. You can't be yourself. There's no freedom to be yourself or express yourself.

My theory for why people assume the worst in others in America and why people are paranoid and don’t want to talk to strangers is because most people in the country are scum, extreme scum. So after a typical person tries to socialize with people they get back stabbed, insulted, disrespected, lied to etc.. or they find out that the other person they tried to befriend is a total pervert or a literal communist, or nuts. e.g. Eventually people give up and don’t trust others. I used to read a lot of reddit posts, which is a filthy leftist dump of a forum. But anyway, I noticed the kinds of things people had to go through with their family, “fake friends,” coworkers, school etc. was pretty much sickeningly bad. No wonder people decide to hole themselves up in their house and just vegetate with the tv or something. Just my theory.

Also, since scummy people don’t like decent people, decent people will feel targeted constantly especially since they are a tiny minority at this point of the country history.

This one I’m sure of. There are also tons of demonic forces at work in America. I don’t know how these things operate exactly, but I think it’s possible they can effect an entire country, not just individuals. The worse people become and the more evil they commit, the more these beings will have their way with the country. I think one of them makes people constantly feel not good enough. It also affects general population into pushing that mentality to everyone else. It’s a vicious cycle. That’s why you constantly feel the need to better yourself, get more money, achieve more status, be productive etc, etc.. but you will still never feel good enough.