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Warning: The True Consequences of Having Children! Must Read

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Re: Warning: The True Consequences of Having Children! Must

Postby MarcosZeitola » Fri Aug 05, 2016 4:43 pm

Winston wrote:Maybe Marcos. But did you read my essay?


I read it, and it's really nothing special. Everything you said in this essay has already been written, and far better and more convincingly, by a variety of anti-natalist authors, philosophers and propagandists. It's just you rehashing the same arguments various men as early as the 19th century already put forward. So, as an essay, it's not impressive in the slightest, it is not particularly original or thought-provoking. If anything, it's just you trying to find ways to justify your own shitty parenting of your only child whose death you admitted wouldn't upset you much.

Winston wrote:This isn't about the morals or ethics of having children. This is about the factual consequences of having children. True many people have children for the wrong reasons, including me perhaps. But if I had known the true consequences outlined above, I may not have had one. So I wrote it to tell people the truth and consequences, which society and the media doesn't do.


Society and the media say many of the same things you have said. A lot of feminists say the same exact things you have said - that children drain you, hold you back, and that in order to be a "strong and independent woman", it's better not to have children or a family. You are using the same exact arguments they use, only you change the genders in your essay - you are a strong, independent man, slave to no one, a threethinker who doesn't listen to what the system dictates him, or what biology tells him... except, you DID listen to that call of nature and society, and you DID in fact father a son who you are now a neglectful and absent father to. Those are the factual consequences of your actions.

Winston wrote:Whatever you think Marcos, you can't deny that the consequences I present are factual and objectively true. But how you interpret them and deal with them is another matter.


"Children are little vampires who drain your life energy, ruin your life, make you a slave to their every need and leave you an empty shell of a man devoid of any passion or energy to live life, and who never ever give you back any return on your gigantic investments made in their upbringing and schooling."

Those are not "factual and objective truths", they are very strong statements and claims made by a man who dreads having to send money to his son every month and often is late with his payments because his son is such a huge burden to him... thereby ignoring the "factual and objective truth" that you in fact were the one who convinced Dianne to have Angelo in the first place.

You are, lets not deny this "factual and objective truth", a lousy father Winston. That is why you wrote this essay a few years back, during a time where little Angelo was annoying you a lot with his behavior... behavior you didn't explain came from the fact that he felt abandoned by you, and never had much of a father figure in his life. When you first announced his birth, I read on the old threads you were so ecstatic. You uploaded a photo comparison of yourself as a baby, and compared his looks to yours. But just a few years later, you are complaining about how "annoying and disrespectful" your son is, and how you wish he had been a girl because "girls are cuter and they bond better with a father". Not to mention the fact you consider his mother racially inferior to yourself. Oh, how a smarter man than yourself would dread the day little Angelo starts using google and finds your old threads... :roll:

You're the last person on earth capable of writing an objective, unbiased "essay" about the true consequences of having children. Because before you have children you have to first not be a child yourself. A girl on MTV's "sixteen and pregnant" could have written a more insightful and honest piece.
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Re: Warning: The True Consequences of Having Children! Must

Postby Yohan » Fri Aug 05, 2016 5:06 pm

@chanta76

This is not an easy question and not an easy answer, I don't really know.
I do not regret, what I did in my past. In general all was working out in a good way for all of us, for me too.

I think however it's about time, now and then.
The situation for a young man is not the same if you compare 1976 with 2016.

The society and the legal conditions are totally different due to feminism, a man is now a 2nd class citizen, without any rights.
Marriage and children had a value in the past, but not anymore.

I can only say, out of my feeling, if I were suddenly alone and single in the year 2016, living in a Western country, I would NOT look out for marriage again. No way.

Not so sure about Asia as the legal situation is not that bad.

As I am living in Japan since many years, and as I know many people in Malaysia, Philippines and as I can offer nice accommodation in Thailand for a female partner, I am sure should I be alone as an elderly widower for example, then somebody will show up and try to introduce somebody to me... as I said not sure.

As an old man in 2016 maybe yes, I might be not against it, but if I were young again in 2016, likely not willing even to try.
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Re: Warning: The True Consequences of Having Children! Must

Postby yick » Fri Aug 05, 2016 5:30 pm

So, as an essay, it's not impressive in the slightest, it is not particularly original or thought-provoking. If anything, it's just you trying to find ways to justify your own shitty parenting of your only child whose death you admitted wouldn't upset you much.


I wouldn't mind knowing what effect the death of his own father in the future (I hope it isn't for many many years) will have on him, does Winston see his own father as unimportant, or more accurately - of less importance than some bit of fluff he has met up with in Shenzhen, or is it just his son who hasn't got that importance?

He might respect fatherhood when it comes to his own father - his own father might be the most important person in his life.
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Re: Warning: The True Consequences of Having Children! Must

Postby josephty1 » Fri Aug 05, 2016 9:39 pm

MarcosZeitola wrote:
Winston wrote:Maybe Marcos. But did you read my essay?


I read it, and it's really nothing special. Everything you said in this essay has already been written, and far better and more convincingly, by a variety of anti-natalist authors, philosophers and propagandists. It's just you rehashing the same arguments various men as early as the 19th century already put forward. So, as an essay, it's not impressive in the slightest, it is not particularly original or thought-provoking. If anything, it's just you trying to find ways to justify your own shitty parenting of your only child whose death you admitted wouldn't upset you much.

........
........
........

You are, lets not deny this "factual and objective truth", a lousy father Winston. That is why you wrote this essay a few years back, during a time where little Angelo was annoying you a lot with his behavior... behavior you didn't explain came from the fact that he felt abandoned by you, and never had much of a father figure in his life. When you first announced his birth, I read on the old threads you were so ecstatic. You uploaded a photo comparison of yourself as a baby, and compared his looks to yours. But just a few years later, you are complaining about how "annoying and disrespectful" your son is, and how you wish he had been a girl because "girls are cuter and they bond better with a father". Not to mention the fact you consider his mother racially inferior to yourself. Oh, how a smarter man than yourself would dread the day little Angelo starts using google and finds your old threads... :roll:

You're the last person on earth capable of writing an objective, unbiased "essay" about the true consequences of having children. Because before you have children you have to first not be a child yourself. A girl on MTV's "sixteen and pregnant" could have written a more insightful and honest piece.


Winston does remind me of my own father. My father is also Vietnamese, married my mom in Vietnam in 1996. I was born in 1997. I came to the US when I was 2 and a half. I don't remember anything of what happened before I was 5 but I do have pictures.

Parenting is hard, but so many parents underestimate how awful it is to raise an infant/toddler, particularly men from poor backgrounds. This is even worse if the father doesn't live in the country for the first 2-5 years of the child's life, due to the idea of "critical periods" of development.

Look at the African American community for example. Look up "African American single mother rates"

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MG_8mkn5Bk0[/youtube]

Image
Public school, most people between 12-35, and often your parents are brainwashed and trying to brainwash you.

*sigh* money and workaholic culture replaces healthy social interaction.
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Re: Warning: The True Consequences of Having Children! Must

Postby Moretorque » Fri Aug 05, 2016 10:15 pm

Our children are our means for our genetic immortality - LITERALLY! You do not bring them here unless you are ready to grow up and have a family and be responsible for the life you brought here.

This truly is the reason the writers of the bible wrote it.
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Re: Warning: The True Consequences of Having Children! Must

Postby starchild5 » Sat Aug 06, 2016 2:43 am

Seriously, I'm telling you guys to go the Dharma way or else you will rot miserably making one bad decision after another.

I agree with Winston and I also agree with Marcos. Yes. That's how great Dharma is, You don't have to choose sides and yet have choices in life.

I'm Indian and we breed babies like rats and yet, I'm 40 and never had a kid, its incredibly phobic here to be single, not married and not have kids. India's definition is having kids and marriage YET it also allows people to go the Winston way. In-fact, that is the highest form of life but which is directed towards realization of god.

First of all...Marriage is NOT TO HAVE KIDS OR SETTLE DOWN...IT IS A SPIRITUAL UNION...Only Reason for Marriage is to realize God. The Women would guide men in realization of God, their energies would combine to realize god.

NOW, KIDS...are nothing but the FRUIT of your Dharma or Karma.

Kids are like the Gift of God to you, if you follow Dharma....

Kids would be the curse if you do Karma.

It works both ways...

The Winston Way...God Approved.

The Marcos Way...God Approved.

When you really are in the Cross-Roads, making the most important decision in your life. Western Philosophy will draw a blank and leave you clueless as is happening to members here. You will always be debating in your mind...which way is better...Winston or Marcos.

Kids are based on your Karmic Fields. If you have null Karma...You will not have kids anyways...Your Kids would get the reward or punishment based on your Karma and Dharma. They carry the genetic codes of all your actions.

Our entire existence is based on Spirituality. Having kids or not is how you wanna base your life to approach God. Kids are a blessing to a spiritual family, a curse otherwise.

Seriously, you will be f**cked if you think this in terms of western philosophy, which is what I believe happened unfortunately to Winston.

If Winston had this Dharmic knowledge, he would have never struggled through this, I have more like Winston thinking, but fortunately, I was born in India and these things are crystal clear here.

----------------------------

Winston, You can make your way to Dharmic Path. Your kid would be a blessing, give him direction on spirituality. Guide him on a way to Dharma NOT KARMA. Karma is bad which the Jews Psy-op'ed west into.

You don't need to feel guilty, mistake or burdened by having a Kid. Only Dharma approves your lifestyle, You can still do whatever you wanted to do just like you never had a kid by making sure, your son does Dharma only. His Karma becomes The Dharma. You will be free. He will be gone out of your life and DNA just like that and even guide you when he grows up.

The connection you feel is due to KARMA. Once, your kid is on a Dharmic Way. The connection would be gone, your responsibility would be nullified.

You had a kid, because you still had some Karma left, that was very minimal.

Don't debate, whats done is done, there is a way out and its a Win - Win for all of us. Your Kid will be a winner and You will be too...No one is losing in Dharma. That's the beauty.
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Re: Warning: The True Consequences of Having Children! Must

Postby Winston » Sat Aug 06, 2016 8:30 am

yick wrote:Genuine question, not digging you out or anything - but do you think your dad regretted having you? Do you think you were a blot on his landscape and if he hadn't have had you, he would have had an easier or better life?

What does your father think about your continued semi-abandonment of your own son, does he get angry? Is he upset he doesn't get to see his only grandchild? Does he wish you stepped up more.

From what I know about you Winston, you have a great father, a real, decent, good, loving father who is on hand with good advice and he truly cares and loves you. I have read his emails to you and I think (and I am sure most people on here who have read the discourse between you and your dad) that you have got a father to be proud of, but your son doesn't have a father to be proud of, someone who won't be there for him.

You have had something important in your life, something your son will never have. So my question is - how does your father feel about all that?


I don't know if my parents regretted having me. Maybe they wish I was more of a conformist so I would be more stable and normal with a career and settled down with a family. But I do not sense regret in general. They know now that I am unique and have a unique website that has helped many people. You definitely can't say that about a typical corporate drone who is not unique at all.

My parents didn't sacrifice anything by having me. They are traditional people with traditional values from the 1950's. They are similar to the parents you see on the TV series "Leave it to Beaver" from the 1950's. So it's not like I prevented them from doing anything. They came to America to settle and have a better life, like many Asians did in the 1970's. I went along too of course. So no, I wasn't any kind of obstacle to that. I don't know what you're getting at. It's not like my mom was a budding starlet in show biz and gave up her career for me. lol

No my parents don't mind what I do. They want me to settle down, yeah, but since they don't see my son much, they don't have much emotional attachment to him either. My parents don't like the Philippines and are too uncomfortable there. And it's been difficult getting Angelo a passport because Dianne has discrepancies in her birth records, which has only been recently fixed with the help of attorneys.

Yes you can tell from my dad's emails that he is wise and understanding and caring. But I can write emails like that to my son too. And in fact, I write letters like that to many guys here in the forum as well. I too have a lot of wisdom and insight and good advice, which you can see in my posts and in my Ask Winston thread.

Yes I'm not a traditional father type but I see my son sometimes. My priority now is finding love and a soulmate and wife. You can't do everything at once.

If ever my son asks why I wasn't there for him, or why I am an unstable guy, I will simply reply:

"Well why don't you ask God why he f***ed up my life in 1981 when he moved me out of Palo Alto, CA from the school I loved and was HAPPY in? I was in a Romper Room/Disney type of wholesome environment there. I had friends and caring/loving teachers. Then I had to go to San Jose, CA, which wasn't so bad. But when we moved to Fremont, CA in 1982, all hell broke loose. I never had a good childhood again. All I received was persecution, bullying, hate, ridicule, ostracization, and my self esteem was shot to hell. Everyday was nothing but depression for me, as well as loneliness.

Because of that, I never got to enjoy my school years and childhood. I never got to go to school dances. I never got dates in high school. I never got a date to go to the high school prom with. I never got to smoke weed or drink beer. I never got to have my first teenage kiss with a girl to remember for life. Etc. I was deprived of all these stereotypical things that others had.

If I had all these things and a normal childhood and positive school environment, then I might have turned out normal. I may have married my high school sweetheart, went to college, started a job, and raised a family, and been normal, never having to deal with loneliness or isolation. And HappierAbroad.com wouldn't exist.

So why did God allow my parents to move me from heaven to hell like that back in 1980 and allow my childhood to be RUINED for good?! WHY???!!! You see, God or the universe seems to have a pattern of wrecking everything when things are great. It's a pattern I've seen since 1980. I don't know why. Maybe he's a masochist? Or maybe that's just the way the universe works, because we are meant to struggle in life.

But it's not just my life that God or the universe does this. You see this in American history too. For example, in 1962, things were great in America. People were happy, prosperous, and wholesome. They loved their government and country and trusted it. And Americans still had their innocence (which is portrayed in the film "American Graffiti" by George Lucas). But in 1963 with the assassination of President Kennedy and the onset of the Vietnam War that lasted for 10 bloody years and tore the nation apart, things were never the same in America again. Everything went south. The shit hit the fan. Americans were never innocent again and never trusted their government again. America has been ruined and f***ed since then. So you see, even history records instances where things were all great, and then the universe or God allowed it all to be wrecked to hell, for seemingly no reason, and unnecessarily too, which is the sad part. I don't get why good things always have to be wrecked unnecessarily. Why don't you ask God that question?

Anyway, if God is all powerful and can do anything, then why don't you ask him to go back to 1981 and fix my life by not allowing me to have to move from heaven to hell, so that I will have had a normal childhood? If he can do that, and right what went wrong, then I'll consider being a good stable normal father. After all, if God allowed me to be f***ed up, then how can you expect me to be normal and stable? I never asked to be f***ed up. It just happened, without my control or decision. We are all victims. Not just me, but you too. If you wanna know why, ask God. Not me. I don't have the answer to this."

Note: For visual proof of what I say above, see this photo of me in 1979 along with my kindergarten class. As you can see, I looked happy and normal, and was in a positive, warm, wholesome environment. Same with the 1980 class photo of first grade. In both photos, I am sitting in the bottom right corner.

Image

Image

Also, here is a letter to me in 1979 from one of my favorite teachers, Mrs. Betty Newton. Notice how warm and caring her words were. As you can see, a teacher like this is obvious proof of a warm, caring, wholesome, positive environment that I spoke of.

Image

Image

So you see, had I remained in that kind of environment throughout my grade school years, junior high years, and high school years, I might have turned out normal, and be settled down with a happy wholesome family now, instead of f***ed up like this. If so, this website and forum wouldn't exist.
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Re: Warning: The True Consequences of Having Children! Must

Postby Winston » Sat Aug 06, 2016 8:43 am

chanta76 wrote:Winston,

I have to disagree. You cannot just replace children. If i had a child and that child died. I cant just go out replace that child. That child was unique and special.

I have to agree with yick. You have a very understanding father. I wish my father was little bit more like your dad. If i understand when your in taiwan you are with family. Your dad never really abandon you.

Im not judging you or how your relationship is with your son but if your father did what your doing to your son. Would you be ok with that? Your dad was supportive of you.

I think with you to be blunt your more of a monger at heart than someone really looking for real relationship. You want a relationship but you also want to eat your cake too.

In the end you will not find it. Its either just monger or be truly genuine to your partner and that also means being devoted.

Maybe your right hard wired differently.


Well it depends on what you mean by "unique and special". Not every child is automatically "special" just because the parents say so. You have to earn your "specialness". When you say "unique" do you mean true uniqueness? Or ordinary uniqueness like how everyone has unique fingerprints and DNA? You see, most people are not unique. They have no unique accomplishments or traits or thoughts. They may have unique fingerprints sure, but that doesn't make them truly unique. Come on man.

Take Bruce Lee for instance. He's a unique Asian because he has unique accomplishments. He was original in his philosophy and style and a trend setter. He didn't just follow and copy others. He developed his own martial arts style too. He was one of a kind. There will never be another one like him, and there had never been anyone like him since. He had a unique charisma too. That's why people don't forget him. And why he's become legendized.

But you can't say that about the ordinary Chinese factory worker or noodle shop worker or corporate drone. They are not unique in any way, except for their fingerprints. But that's not true uniqueness. You know what I mean? So I don't know what you mean by uniqueness as it applies to children. Do you mean the phrase, "You are unique just like everyone else"?

Look we are all victims here. Of course I wouldn't like if my dad abandoned me. But so what? We are all victims and do not have control over most things in life. That's the truth. See my previous post about this.

Why don't you ask Momopi if he would like to be shot by a hunting rifle if he were a deer. Of course his answer would be no, since no one likes to be shot? But so what? That doesn't change his mind about hunting. He still likes to hunt and will justify it any way he can. Did you see the thread about hunting ethics in this forum that I started? Either way, it doesn't change the fact that the deer and animals he hunts are his victims. But so what? He is still gonna do what he wants.

We are all victims of something. I am a victim of stuff too. See my previous post for details and photos and proof. This is not a perfect universe where everything is fair and just and right. The universe wasn't fair to me. Look how my life was shot to hell in 1981. Why don't you ask God why he allows good things to be wrecked? Why you asking me about it?

You can't say that I could never settle into a loyal relationship. If I could marry the girl of my dreams, maybe I could. We don't know. So you can't say. Why don't you pray and ask God to stop letting Murphy's Law prevent me from having what I want? Then we will know for sure if I can settle down or not. Until then, I am untested.
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Re: Warning: The True Consequences of Having Children! Must

Postby Winston » Sat Aug 06, 2016 8:46 am

MarcosZeitola wrote:
Winston wrote:Maybe Marcos. But did you read my essay?


I read it, and it's really nothing special. Everything you said in this essay has already been written, and far better and more convincingly, by a variety of anti-natalist authors, philosophers and propagandists. It's just you rehashing the same arguments various men as early as the 19th century already put forward. So, as an essay, it's not impressive in the slightest, it is not particularly original or thought-provoking. If anything, it's just you trying to find ways to justify your own shitty parenting of your only child whose death you admitted wouldn't upset you much.

Winston wrote:This isn't about the morals or ethics of having children. This is about the factual consequences of having children. True many people have children for the wrong reasons, including me perhaps. But if I had known the true consequences outlined above, I may not have had one. So I wrote it to tell people the truth and consequences, which society and the media doesn't do.


Society and the media say many of the same things you have said. A lot of feminists say the same exact things you have said - that children drain you, hold you back, and that in order to be a "strong and independent woman", it's better not to have children or a family. You are using the same exact arguments they use, only you change the genders in your essay - you are a strong, independent man, slave to no one, a threethinker who doesn't listen to what the system dictates him, or what biology tells him... except, you DID listen to that call of nature and society, and you DID in fact father a son who you are now a neglectful and absent father to. Those are the factual consequences of your actions.

Winston wrote:Whatever you think Marcos, you can't deny that the consequences I present are factual and objectively true. But how you interpret them and deal with them is another matter.


"Children are little vampires who drain your life energy, ruin your life, make you a slave to their every need and leave you an empty shell of a man devoid of any passion or energy to live life, and who never ever give you back any return on your gigantic investments made in their upbringing and schooling."

Those are not "factual and objective truths", they are very strong statements and claims made by a man who dreads having to send money to his son every month and often is late with his payments because his son is such a huge burden to him... thereby ignoring the "factual and objective truth" that you in fact were the one who convinced Dianne to have Angelo in the first place.

You are, lets not deny this "factual and objective truth", a lousy father Winston. That is why you wrote this essay a few years back, during a time where little Angelo was annoying you a lot with his behavior... behavior you didn't explain came from the fact that he felt abandoned by you, and never had much of a father figure in his life. When you first announced his birth, I read on the old threads you were so ecstatic. You uploaded a photo comparison of yourself as a baby, and compared his looks to yours. But just a few years later, you are complaining about how "annoying and disrespectful" your son is, and how you wish he had been a girl because "girls are cuter and they bond better with a father". Not to mention the fact you consider his mother racially inferior to yourself. Oh, how a smarter man than yourself would dread the day little Angelo starts using google and finds your old threads... :roll:

You're the last person on earth capable of writing an objective, unbiased "essay" about the true consequences of having children. Because before you have children you have to first not be a child yourself. A girl on MTV's "sixteen and pregnant" could have written a more insightful and honest piece.


Now you are getting unduly emotional and combative. Not rational. Show me some essays about the "true consequences of having children" that are better than mine, either by feminists, or in the 19th Century as you claim. I'd like to see them. I'd like to see if anyone outlined the consequences in the same brutally honest manner that I did.

You are as emotional as a woman now. You are taking every little point and trying to use it as a prod to poke me with. That's very antagonistic. It's not mature or rational or neutral.
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Re: Warning: The True Consequences of Having Children! Must

Postby Winston » Sat Aug 06, 2016 8:54 am

yick wrote:
So, as an essay, it's not impressive in the slightest, it is not particularly original or thought-provoking. If anything, it's just you trying to find ways to justify your own shitty parenting of your only child whose death you admitted wouldn't upset you much.


I wouldn't mind knowing what effect the death of his own father in the future (I hope it isn't for many many years) will have on him, does Winston see his own father as unimportant, or more accurately - of less importance than some bit of fluff he has met up with in Shenzhen, or is it just his son who hasn't got that importance?

He might respect fatherhood when it comes to his own father - his own father might be the most important person in his life.


You are asking dumb and obvious questions now. Of course I love my father. He did a lot for more. Why wouldn't I? Duh. Yes I owe my father a lot. Parents are irreplaceable. However, what does this have to do with my son? My son hasn't done anything for me? I don't know why some people think I automatically owe him my life and should be willing to sacrifice my life to save his, if necessary? I don't owe my son my life. If anything, I owe my parents my life since they gave me life. Duh. You got things backwards. I don't see the logic of assuming that you owe your children your life, especially if they are spoiled brats.

There is no logical basis to the assumption that the son's life is always more important than the father. None at all. Most great men in history did not have sons that matched their greatness. Think about it. Did Benjamin Franklin's sons accomplish anything unique or amazing? Nope. So why is the son's life always more valuable than the fathers? There is no logical basis to this. It's just typical stupid American mentality that is not logically thought through.

If a man is unique and his son merely grows up to be a corporate drone that helps make a corporation rich and its stockholders wealthy, and never does anything unique or original, then why is his son's life worth more? It isn't. Was Bruce Lee's son anything special? No, he was just an ordinary handsome guy, but had no unique or original accomplishments. So no, the father's life is not always less valuable than the sons. Untrue. Just stupid American banter.
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Re: Warning: The True Consequences of Having Children! Must

Postby yick » Sat Aug 06, 2016 9:13 am

You are asking dumb and obvious questions now. Of course I love my father. He did a lot for more. Why wouldn't I? Duh


So 'duh!' this you knobrot - do you not think your son deserves the same, since you brought him into the world - its true - he didn't ask to be born - you brought him into this world along with Dianne - and yes, she is 40% to blame - most of the onus goes onto you seeing as you were older, more educated and had an idea how you were going to pan out as a father - if it started to get difficult then you would run like hell - I bet you never told Dianne this at the time.

So - you - have had all the benefits of a hard working, decent man for a father - the fact you can't see the link of how you benefited from this and how your son could also benefit from this is astounding - aren't you meant to be genius?

"Well why don't you ask God why he f***ed up my life in 1981 when he moved me out of Palo Alto, CA from the school I loved and was HAPPY in? I was in a Romper Room/Disney type of wholesome environment there. I had friends and caring/loving teachers blahblahblah...."

I hope you are joking, because if you actually tell him this bullshite face to face - he is going to knock you on your ass when he is twenty or so - and you'll deserve it.

So he and Dianne suffer because you didn't get to date the prom queen?

Honestly - grow up - and do the world a favour - don't impregnate anyone else.
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Re: Warning: The True Consequences of Having Children! Must

Postby Winston » Sat Aug 06, 2016 11:00 am

yick wrote:
You are asking dumb and obvious questions now. Of course I love my father. He did a lot for more. Why wouldn't I? Duh


So 'duh!' this you knobrot - do you not think your son deserves the same, since you brought him into the world - its true - he didn't ask to be born - you brought him into this world along with Dianne - and yes, she is 40% to blame - most of the onus goes onto you seeing as you were older, more educated and had an idea how you were going to pan out as a father - if it started to get difficult then you would run like hell - I bet you never told Dianne this at the time.

So - you - have had all the benefits of a hard working, decent man for a father - the fact you can't see the link of how you benefited from this and how your son could also benefit from this is astounding - aren't you meant to be genius?

"Well why don't you ask God why he f***ed up my life in 1981 when he moved me out of Palo Alto, CA from the school I loved and was HAPPY in? I was in a Romper Room/Disney type of wholesome environment there. I had friends and caring/loving teachers blahblahblah...."

I hope you are joking, because if you actually tell him this bullshite face to face - he is going to knock you on your a** when he is twenty or so - and you'll deserve it.

So he and Dianne suffer because you didn't get to date the prom queen?

Honestly - grow up - and do the world a favour - don't impregnate anyone else.


Dont you get it you idiot? Im f***ed up because my childhood was f***ed up. Just like a tree is f***ed up if its roots are f***ed up. Im a victim. Thats the truth. My parents didnt have f***ed up childhoods like i did. So they were able to be normal people. I cannot. Didnt you read my childhood story?

http://www.happierabroad.com/Childhood.htm

Its not like i dont support my son. Dont expect me to do something i dont want to just because others say so. I need romantic love now. Thats my primary objective. You are not the captain of my ship asshole. You are not at the helm. You do not give orders. Why dont you ask doctor who in britain to stop traveling around in his tardis too, dummy? Lol
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Re: Warning: The True Consequences of Having Children! Must

Postby Contrarian Expatriate » Sat Aug 06, 2016 11:19 am

Thank you for writing this as I have been pondering the question of having children in this my 50th year.

I am on vacation now and I see so many young couples with children in tow and they seem miserable. They seem overwhelmed, and tired, but brainwashed to slug forward as if they love their servitude.

One foreign man at work a month ago learned that I did not want marriage and children and three days later he came to my office after work to debate the issue with me. He essentially tried to browbeat me with the same language that women use, "You are just scared, You must have had a bad experience, etc." Needless to say, he lost the argument but he seems mega-resentful about it. That could have had something to do with the fact that I said husbands are slaves to wages and wives according to the book Manipulated Man. He likely is reacting with contempt because he knows I am right.

Getting back to having children. So what if I die childless? I am considering having a surrogate bear my children so I can leave him my money, but if not, that would be ok too.

Finally, I'd like to say that the essay is truly thought-provoking and well written. The hate you are receiving is pure cognitive dissonance directed at you from men who either already had kids or are planning on having kids. Their vitriol represents the "chink" you inflicted on their armor!
Feel free to visit my sites and to leave your respected words of wisdom:

http://thedeclineofmyamerica.blogspot.com/

http://www.youtube.com/user/ContrarianExpatriate
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Re: Warning: The True Consequences of Having Children! Must

Postby Winston » Sat Aug 06, 2016 2:03 pm

Btw Yick,
My dad is wiser than you. He doesn't lecture me or tell me what to do. Don't assume that he's supposed to be like you, and give me UNWANTED advice. He is wiser than that.

Also, it's NOT wise to give someone UNWANTED advice. I didn't ask for any advice in this thread about my son. I merely outlined the consequences of having kids that should be CONSIDERED. So don't start lecturing me. If I wanted advice, I would choose someone I respect and trust, Yick. But NOT YOU. I don't respect you. You often sound like an arrogant prick. That's not the kind of guy I would respect or think would understand me. I don't see much wisdom in your posts anyway. So I would not qualify you as a good advisor at all.

Plus you ignored all my words about my past. That means you don't care what I say. You just like to lecture people. This means you aren't a very understanding guy. Just a typical know it all.

Furthermore, if you go through the archives, you will see that MarcosZeitola and I have gone through this "be a stable father" thing hundreds of times. I've told him off and cussed off and told him to F off hundreds of times already. We don't need to repeat all that again.

The bottom line is that I'm not the nurturing fatherly type. It's not who I am. I am a curious boy type, as Rock said. I cannot be something I'm not, even if I try to be. So your lecturing is 100 percent useless and will only incite me to cuss you out. A wise man knows when to back off. I see no wisdom from you. Hence I don't respect your opinion. Bottom line: I cannot be something I'm not, even if I try to be. Arguing and lecturing about this isn't going to change that. It's just going to piss me off and make me start cussing again, because I have a short temper when it comes to useless arguments that go round and round.

Please heed this. I don't wish to repeat it again. Thanks.
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Re: Warning: The True Consequences of Having Children! Must

Postby Winston » Sat Aug 06, 2016 2:09 pm

Contrarian Expatriate wrote:Thank you for writing this as I have been pondering the question of having children in this my 50th year.

I am on vacation now and I see so many young couples with children in tow and they seem miserable. They seem overwhelmed, and tired, but brainwashed to slug forward as if they love their servitude.

One foreign man at work a month ago learned that I did not want marriage and children and three days later he came to my office after work to debate the issue with me. He essentially tried to browbeat me with the same language that women use, "You are just scared, You must have had a bad experience, etc." Needless to say, he lost the argument but he seems mega-resentful about it. That could have had something to do with the fact that I said husbands are slaves to wages and wives according to the book Manipulated Man. He likely is reacting with contempt because he knows I am right.

Getting back to having children. So what if I die childless? I am considering having a surrogate bear my children so I can leave him my money, but if not, that would be ok too.

Finally, I'd like to say that the essay is truly thought-provoking and well written. The hate you are receiving is pure cognitive dissonance directed at you from men who either already had kids or are planning on having kids. Their vitriol represents the "chink" you inflicted on their armor!


You are very welcome. I am glad you appreciate my article. I know it may sound a bit negative, but truth often is negative and not pretty. I did not meant for it to sound negative, I was just trying to be brutally honest. Glad you could see that.

I think this is a very complex subject nevertheless. It's a Catch 22. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Whether you have children or not, both paths will lead to some form of suffering. Not having kids will make you feel empty and incomplete since you have no kids to love. But having them will make you irritated and annoyed a lot, and take away all your freedom too, for many years. So either way, there is pain. It's a Catch 22. And as such, it's never an easy decision.

I think you basically just have to decide which of these pains and consequences you can better bear. You also gotta listen to your heart. I know that's a cliche, but it's true. Your heart knows better than your head, about what's right for you and what you truly want.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
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