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MrMan wrote:My wife is Indonesian. She did not like it when our mutual friend, a Canadian woman in her 20's, said she didn't like children. She said Indonesians think there is something wrong with you if you don't like children. And if you want to get married and not have children, they think you are selfish.
From a big picture point of view, we could say that those who don't want to have children are actually the leeches, leaching off the joy in life without contributing to the next generation, not just genes, but physical and emotional support of a child, and teaching and training the next generation of their family.
Children are a huge sacrifice, especially starting out. I hear the teen years can be difficult. My son is a teenager. He's not difficult at this point. He was a lot more of a challenge at 3 months old for me.
But you do get something back from children. You get a lot back emotionally. My girls hug me. One hugs me when I leave and says, "I love you forever.' The four-year-old likes to hug daddy. It's good to be appreciated by little kids. They don't stay little forever. It is good to have your children in your wife. It's good to have people in your life.
I suppose lonely mongers who do not invest any time in family (with the kids they father that they don't know about), can have some fun for 30 minutes to a couple of hours with a girl they pick up at a bar, or for a series of months with a short-term live in girlfriend or what have you. But they go on to the next relationship. When they get to be 70, unless they have cash, who wants to sleep with them? And who is going to wipe their butts when they are 98 in diapers and can't take care of themselves, if the VD doesn't kill them first?
From a purely selfish economic perspective, if you raise your kids with traditional values, they know they have to take care of you when you get older. That's one thing from my wife's culture that I'd like to instill in these kids. My parents are pretty well taken care of. We agreed to keep my wife's parents up. I'd be willing to do the same with my folks. Economically, it does make sense from this perspective.
For those of us who go the one-for-life marriage route, they also say a woman doesn't reach her full orgasmic potential until after she gives birth. Something about the blood vessels expanding. Just based on a sample of 1, I think that may be true. Before the kids, we did have more time to devote to such pursuits, though. A woman reaching full orgasmic potential is beneficial to men, too, since its loads of fun.
I have to disagree. Some people have kids for selfish reasons too. For example some people just want to continue thier blood line as if they are royality.
Having kids ishould be more about raising life and guiding them but eventually letting them go once they are older. I seen parents that are still controlling of thier kids even in old age.
Im korean i get allot pressure from my parents in making them grand kids. Having kids should be a choice. Raising a child in this crazy world is very hard and maybe its better not too.
Saying that it can go both ways. I seen too many parents have kids just because society said they had too and they hated being parents. I think there is allot of parents that hate being parents. I dont know if its selfish but more like not everyone can or should be parents.
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Check out this funny short video from The School of Life about the horrors of having children. It says what I told you all long ago, that having kids ruins your romantic and sexual life with your partner. And it also makes you regret it. However, those who do not have children also regret it as well. So it's one of those "damned if you do, damned if you don't" type of things. lol
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