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I had the opportunity to watch a colleague of mine in action with a couple of local girls here in Taipei the other day. I don't think there was too much specifically 'Taiwan' about the whole experience though. This colleague is a fellow countryman of mine and also in his late thirties and teaches business English. He often invites me out to eat which I appreciate. He likes to eat rather expensive Western or Japanese food though. We have been hiking once, with a couple of girls he knows, and have talked about going hiking again, but I don’t invite him when I do go hiking because he is too out of shape to do the hikes I like.
Anyway, the guy is short and tubby, but seems to be able to do what we all dream of, i.e. pick up girls on the subway. When he invited me for dinner with two girls he had met in that fashion, I said yes. Actually I wasn’t overly keen – but I know how important it is to have a wingman. Of course we had to go to some overpriced burger place, but never mind. The girls were both cute, if not hot, twenty-two years of age and five-foot nothing. Both worked in international companies (which turns me off usually) and spoke pretty good English. My friend speaks no Chinese.
Seeing him in action was quite interesting. He talked a lot and made what I would consider childish jokes, but the girls loved it. He got quite touchy with his girl. He just kept talking (actually he shouts) and laughing and the girls were happy that they were listening to real English. Occasionally he or the girls would reference me for a piece of information or a translation. But I could tell I seemed stiff to them – my sense of humour is an ironic one and I knew it wouldn’t go down well, so I just sat and tried to be polite. After, on the subway home my friend was elated and said what good fun the girls were. I had been pretty bored. The whole night had been a fluffy hello kitty haze to me, including the food. I don’t think my friend would do well in the West. Had me thinking, here in Taiwan it is still good for the guy who can entertain and keep it light with childish humour. You don’t need to be in shape, good looking or young…. or indeed speak the language? It sort of warms the heart that such a guy can do well – even if guys like me suffer. I'd say this can apply to all of Asia, Eastern Europe, Latin America and even the big bad West? As Cindy Lauper said, 'girls just want to have fun'.
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That's because it starts with your mindset, your outlook, your focus.
Maybe you should go on some shorter hikes with your friend. If you want to establish that friendship, you'll have to be willing to compromise. Bring that man in close. Pay close attention to what he does and especially to what he says. Words are very powerful when you know how to use them. Just most men don't realize their power. They don't believe in such power. That's fine by me. Let them figure it out after it's too late for them or never.
You can apply that to Brazil as well. I was just reading a post on Quora.com from a Brazilian woman who said that even the gorgeous women there don't have lofty standards and even an older, uglier man can date those women. However, she went on to say that if you're old, fat and/or ugly, then you'd better have something to compensate.
What I'm saying is the following, if you can talk loudly and goofily using non-controversial anecdotes quite a lot of girls will lap it up. Now that I've written that sentence it looks patently obvious.
Your self-improvement of mind, body and spirit are not so important in the skirt chase. If you can clown you'll be fine. I have no desire to spend more time with this guy, there is nothing I can from learn from him and I find his company a bit trying, even those he is a decent bloke. I know his secret and I could replicate his behaviour over a short period if I liked a girl. In fact I've down this many times in the past, but as I get older it's more difficult and takes a lot of energy. In the end my real personality will come out. I'm fine with my real personality, but it's not one that your average woman will like.
Actually I don't mind acting goofily in places where the women aren't so educated and I don't speak the language. But in Taiwan I hope for something more. It could be that your average mainlander has more opinions than the people here - or at least genuine life experience. Let me take that back the older generation here is fine, it's the young ones who seem like fashion slaves. Or have I just passed into the older generation and am doing what all older people do? - moan about the young ones. Then there are the smart young people here, they are capable of discussion but still very 'I'm a good boy, I'm a good girl' or 'I'm too cool for school' and quite judgmental. Or am I being overly negative?
I have another colleague I find interesting. He is a pushing 50 and a drunk tattooed degenerate, yet he reads the Harvard Business each week so he can discuss it in his classes. I read novels which I think my students find abhorrent hahaa.