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I have this problem. It's a real problem and it manifests in ways that are problematic for me. I think I may be depressed, severely so - and have been for some time since I was a teen. It's like my brain's lost its flexibility, its dexterity, I get into ruts and it just stays there. I feel very low, very depressed/anxious, and my thinking is narrow and intense.
I often feel so deep into things, They become my day or my focus or reality for as long as I'm thinking about that thing. It switches from day to day and is very exhausting.
It feels like a rollercoaster or nightmare. I sense I'm out of touch, but don't know what. I've thought AD's (antidepressants) might help me. I don't know if I have Asperger's traits or not. I have been struggling with these problems for nearly decades.
It's hard not to beat myself up, and make attributions to myself. Which really make me feel bad - call myself names, etc.
About being intense. I should try to realize I'm an intense person, and I do this and perhaps to realize and not go into my memories & thoughts
Often times a memory or thought I have at the beginning of a day, can affect me that entire day and color my perception. It's really irrational, and it's more a problem of emotion & thought regulation. Maybe I should stop valuing this intensity. Social interaction would help and getting with it more, out side with others, to keep busy. I still think my brain thinks compartmentalized, and this is a problem. That's what makes me think Asperger's, but I could just be real depressed...and my brain's just stuck and not working correctly. Maybe exercise would help.
I tend to think about things that are normal things. I just get stuck on them... to what might be an abnormal degree of depth. I don't know.
I feel like I plumb bob everywhere, this way that. I really need stability in my person.
Last edited by Eric on Sat Oct 08, 2016 9:08 am, edited 1 time in total.
Why don't you give anti-depressants a try. I first took them at nineteen and hated them, probably because they were the wrong ones for me. They made me feel worse, so I quickly got off them. A couple of years ago, I had the same experience but the doctor changed me to another kind which suited me better. I wouldn't say they make you feel happy, like E or something, but they do stabilize your mood and reduce anxiety. I got off them about a year ago, but take them again now and find they don't effect me much. They just make you slightly drowsy and less horny (not always a bad thing). I can still concentrate and do high intensity exercise. Are you still in China? I'm pretty sure you'll be able to get them there at the right hospital. Be warned though, they aren't an instant fix - and if you think you have Asperger's maybe you need something else. It sounds like you've reached the point where you know you have to take your head out of the sand in regards to this problem. It's really hard to find a decent mental health professional, so patience is needed. In my case I just have a melancholic disposition.
The other thing to kill your ruminative thoughts and intensity is exercise. I'm sure you've heard this before, but it's true. Whenever I find myself thinking something over and over, I go out and hike, do calisthenics, ride a bike, run round a track. This usually really helps.
I'm going to be honest. I had a lot of tendency when I was younger to react to problems, and immediately think there's something wrong with me - to seek medications, labels, names...etc. I was sort of, a hypochondriac.
My Mother told me always give self benefit of doubt. She was right. My Mom always said be gentle with yourself first, to be your own best friend... Unfortunately, I was deceived by fear, and listened to other things. I didn't have hardiness - but instead developed codependency - dependency...thinking it was something outside. If I'm honest, part of it was a real lack of discipline on my part - but we were pried with all kinds of things growing up as kids. That's, as I understand it, part of the Zionist agenda; take away hardiness from youth, make them dysfunctional simpering weaklings who are dependent and not independent and strong. If you present an easier way to kids growing up - and take away consequences, they are going to choose it every time; it's human nature. I knew & felt this growing up.
Unfortunately, everyone (including my family) thought I was crazy for saying it growing up - halfway they believed me, halfway thought it incredulous.
Anyway, I think I had a hard time coping. I was a shy/sensitive kid. Psychologically the changes I went through from moving from culture to culture, particularly the mid east back to America... were hard for me.
Thank you for the advice. All good advice. And I think you have a point Kradmelder, I've always felt that way. Thank you Conga for that advice as well. It is good advice.
*I also want to add, I was heavily vaccinated as a kid. We moved to several different countries and I was vaccinated many, many times.
Last edited by Eric on Sat Oct 08, 2016 12:30 pm, edited 4 times in total.
Embrace your intense site. A lot of women like a man who is intense. Brooding. Strong. Forceful. Slightly menacing, somewhat intimidating. For quite a few of them, you will find that their panties will slide right off in your presence the more intense a personality you are. Of course you should be intense in a way that is perceived as cool, and always in control of the situation. Rather then just, as I assume you must mean, intensely autistic.
Just a quick question. Do you draw a distinction between modern culture and hooking up? ....I feel like it's a weird dynamic. It's cool to hook up now, part of our culture. Yet, men have always wanted to score with women as much as they could. As they are making men 'less men' than they were, are they embracing this kind of culture?
I guess what I'm asking is, am I participating in this degenerate culture by hooking up with girls when I want...or is that just being a man.
you just got to practice being a lot more light hearted and even playful in your interactions. i was the same way but through practice i have lightened up. especially with women, don't ever talk anything serious, just play with them.
gotta realize that you are living a marathon and not a sprint, tomorrow really doesnt matter
One thing about me. I've never been outgoing. I've never been mr. Casanova. ... when I think about it, I'm real afraid of intimacy anyway, and avoid it actively when it approaches. Even when its presented itself. And it has. I have this depressive complex where I cant get near.
The baller and monger culture has always seemed to me, deep down at my core...to be fake and inauthentic (It is), and require way too much artificial energy. When you become artificial...even the sex you have is disgusting and artificial, it doesn't feel good, it of course feels good on a level - but thats not what I mean.
Our culture forces you to be inauthentic. I think when you approach authenticity it's hard. The core of this is not loving or appreciating myself, that sounds very simple but it comes down to that.
When you stop trying to change yourself, accepting yourself and loving yourself as a person with limitations; and start to appreciate that. Then you start to feel more human.
That's at least what, I think.
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