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Well OP, I assume that you've tried everything legitimate.
I'd always recommend being legitimate as much as possible, as I think dishonesty IS wrong. But in the end, we have to survive, that isn't optional.
You could always get a fake degree, fake TESOL cert and teach English online? It's pretty easy as far as I've understood, you just talk with people, mostly kids. Your employer doesn't give a rip if you have a degree, he just wants to be able to tell the kid's parents that "only native speakers" teach at his online "school". It's very unlikely that he will check...and even if he does....
There is nothing illegal about a fake degree/cert/lying on your CV (In the US anyway), your boss won't be happy if he finds out, but who gives a sh1t? He wasn't going to give you a job anyway without it.
Obviously what I am suggesting is morally wrong in that you are lying. And the only reason I suggest it is I know how horrible the job market is in the US right now. I tried to get a job when I lived there. It's almost impossible. And if you do get one, you get treated like an animal for $9.50 an hour. I don't take that sort of sh1t sitting down..The elites aren't going to create a system that automatically means I lose, and expect me to play by the rules.
Or if you have the money/possibility, get a real degree and a real TESOL cert. That would be the best way. Financial aid doesn't give you much in the US, but if you live at home it will be enough. Have you thought about teaching ESL overseas in Korea/Japan/China? (ala Daves ESL Cafe?) it would be more fun than sitting in your apartment...alone...for 40/hrs a week. That's the conclusion I came to when I thought about getting an online job.
I see nothing morally wrong with cheating because this whole f***ing world is simply about getting ahead.
Where can I get this fake TESOL degree? And then where can I apply for online teaching jobs? I need to make at least 1500 dollars a month.
Thanks for your ideas.
Well there are a lot of websites that offer this service, and I've done enough research (not much, but enough) to figure out the basics.
Some of them are total amateurs. And then there are the pros. You want the pros that offer services like transcript-sending services (they send a transcript that looks exactly like your schools transcript and it physically looks like it was sent from your university (you pay extra for this obviously). You obviously also want a service that offers the basics as well (which would be a diploma that looks exactly like the diploma from your "chosen" college, lol). I found that a diploma can be ordered for under $100 (the number I want to say is about $70). Just choose from the colleges/universities they offer, if you choose some back-water college they probably won't know what their degrees look like, so again, go with what they recommend (just don't say you went to harvard...they might seriously check on that) What you COULD do, is say you went to a college that has an online degree-verification service THAT YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR. Some colleges have a free degree-verification service, but if it was paid: The likelihood that your future employer would ever pay $25 to check whether you really have that degree is unlikely. I don't know colleges that have a paid one, but my university (Texas A&M University - CC, has a free one...you could even legally change your name to the exact name of someone who graduated at a real university, and....when your employer calls to verify "your" degree....LOL, it wouldn't work if they checked the birth date, but maybe they wont? LOL)
I've always found the..."other side" (criminality) very interesting. I don't believe in hurting people, but what you're doing isn't hurting people. Just cheating a system that is designed to cheat you in the first place.
Just realize in some countries it is illegal to send fake transcripts/degrees. It's not in the US, so you're safe here. Just don't try to teach English in Saudi Arabia with one of these fake degrees. They will probably just deport you should it be discovered, but at the same time be careful.
I'd see this as more of a short term solution, you can't keep lying your whole life (it will get to you, don't do it). Have you considered buying a travel trailer? I bought a small one to save money. My rent went from $950/mo to $325/mo (all inclusive) when I lived in TX. I made over $600/mo by living in a trailer (literally doing nothing). It was also a real experience. When the weather was good, I just opened all the windows, vents, and doors and it was like living outside/camping. I don't regret doing it at all. I now live in a condo, obviously, but I wouldn't ever change what I did with that trailer for a year in CC, TX.
There are a lot of ways to reduce expenses and still maintain the same income you had before. Assume you: lived in a decent travel trailer and drove an older truck (like I did) and still had decent income (like I did). I had expenses of about $1500 a month, and income of $3,300 per month. It's a lot of money if you spend it the right way...but a lot of people live in poverty making more than what I made...
If you plan on staying in the US forever, (or for any significant time) look into somewhere in the country where you can buy a house for $30,000 or something like that. Your property taxes and mortgage would be laughably small and you would be very far away from a major metro area (aka, good source of jobs), but you could still pull your trailer into a trailer-park outside that metro area and work a job for a few years, and then go back to your home when you want, assuming it was a few hours away in the countryside. It would also give you a place to keep your stuff AND your truck and trailer when you go overseas. It would actually be cheaper than paying $75/mo to store your car and $100/mo for your stuff (storage locker), since few places will give you exactly the dates you need for storage, they want 6 month to 1 year contracts...AND, you wouldn't have to deal with the stress of finding a new trailer park immediately upon returning to the US. You'd just show up at your house, relax, start looking for jobs in any city within 5 hours drive from your house. Once you get one, do a phone interview, if you get it, great, if not, whatever. It would be much better than having to immediately choose a city to live in (trailer parks have fixed locations), and it would give you a much greater chance of finding a job since you have so many cities to choose from. Plus you get a "free" house..hopefully you get what I mean, it just doesn't cost you anything extra than a storage locker would, along with a trailer-spot 24/7/365, even when you're not working. You're also giving yourself the freedom to live cheaply inside the USA. If one day you get pissed at your boss and want to quit your job, if you have $20,000 saved up and a mortgage of $50/mo, YOU CAN. Tell him to f**k off, walk out, and live in your house for a few months (or years) until you decide its time to get a new job. Or go overseas. It's your choice!
NEVER BE A SLAVE TO THE SYSTEM!
Having your own house means you can work on your car if you want. which is a huge savings over using a shop (but realistically, many trailer parks/apartment complexes don't care, as long as you don't draw too much attention to yourself) But in any case learning to work on your truck/car is an awesome experience. My starter failed on a 2003 Honda Accord I had, I paid $70 for the part at AutoZone, instead of the $450 they wanted at the shop to do the work. If I hadn't needed a car the next day, I would have ordered the part off amazon for $35. Quite a savings, and you feel great after hours of working hard on your own car. I fired up my Accord at 9:30AM and I needed it to drive by 11:30AM LOL. It really grows you as a man as well, which is priceless. I'v never owned my own house/land, but I assume maintaining your own house would be a similar experience. A condo just doesn't have the same feeling..