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Will a marriage be okay if she isn't attracted to me?

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HA1729
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Joined: November 20th, 2016, 5:16 am

Will a marriage be okay if she isn't attracted to me?

Post by HA1729 » December 14th, 2016, 3:34 am

Edit: Never mind, I was just in a depressed mood when I wrote this. I'm not actually that ugly or socially awkward. Is there a way for me to delete this post?

I'm new to this forum, so let me introduce myself. I am an utterly undesirable man in every possible way. I am physically unattractive, I am socially awkward, I am unpleasant to be around, and I generally have a bad personality. In other words, I am a pathetic loser. I'm looking for a foreign woman to date and eventually marry, but realistically, she will only want to marry me for the money or for a green card. Will the marriage still be okay if she is marrying me for those reasons and isn't actually attracted to me? What are the chances that she will divorce me? Will she still have frequent sex and be affectionate to me out of a feeling of martial obligation, and if so, will the sex still be enjoyable? Will she be nice and pleasant toward me, or will she be uninterested in interacting with me and occasionally say rude things to me? Any suggestions on how to make a marriage with a foreign woman as pleasant as possible even if she isn't attracted to me?
Last edited by HA1729 on December 14th, 2016, 5:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Cornfed
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Joined: August 17th, 2012, 5:22 am

Re: Will a marriage be okay if she isn't attracted to me?

Post by Cornfed » December 14th, 2016, 3:37 am

Females don’t have any concept of obligation. She’ll be good as long as you are in a position to benefit her. If the situation is as you say then as soon as she can leave you she will.

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Yohan
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Location: Tokyo, JAPAN

Re: Will a marriage be okay if she isn't attracted to me?

Post by Yohan » December 14th, 2016, 5:20 am

Welcome, this place is for you.

Just my personal opinion, do not bring foreign women into Western pro-feminist nations, you should consider relocation to HER country.

As the forum name indicates correctly, be 'happier abroad'.

MrMan
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Re: Will a marriage be okay if she isn't attracted to me?

Post by MrMan » December 14th, 2016, 2:08 pm

The OP is best understood if we imagine it being read with Charlie Brown's voice. It should end with 'Oh brother.'

Maybe you need someone to give you a pep talk. If you don't look attractive, cultivate a pleasant personality.

I can't tell if a man is good looking. I can guess. "This guy looks like Tom Cruise and he's on TV. Maybe he's good looking." But sometimes I can tell if a man is unnattractive. I knew this unnatractive fellow in Indonesia who had dated this really attractive Filippino woman. His mother did not agree, so he did not marry her. Then he married a woman much more attractive than himself, not as pretty as the Filippina, but a better looking woman than he is a man.

What was his secret? He was charming. He was a great listener. Just as a friend he was so easy to talk to. My wife met him and told me how easy he was to talk to. He was able to talk a 9+ Filippina into wanting to marry him.

Adama
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Re: Will a marriage be okay if she isn't attracted to me?

Post by Adama » December 16th, 2016, 3:37 pm

HA1729 wrote:Edit: Never mind, I was just in a depressed mood when I wrote this. I'm not actually that ugly or socially awkward. Is there a way for me to delete this post?

I'm new to this forum, so let me introduce myself. I am an utterly undesirable man in every possible way. I am physically unattractive, I am socially awkward, I am unpleasant to be around, and I generally have a bad personality. In other words, I am a pathetic loser. I'm looking for a foreign woman to date and eventually marry, but realistically, she will only want to marry me for the money or for a green card. Will the marriage still be okay if she is marrying me for those reasons and isn't actually attracted to me? What are the chances that she will divorce me? Will she still have frequent sex and be affectionate to me out of a feeling of martial obligation, and if so, will the sex still be enjoyable? Will she be nice and pleasant toward me, or will she be uninterested in interacting with me and occasionally say rude things to me? Any suggestions on how to make a marriage with a foreign woman as pleasant as possible even if she isn't attracted to me?
The answer is probably not. You shouldn't marry a woman who isn't attracted to you. Luckily enough, that probably isn't going to happen. But if it does, you should know, you're likely getting used. That is most women need an attraction, unless looks don't matter to them, or they have another goal which is more important to them.

However, you know for a long time I thought I was bottom of the barrel ugly. People had convinced me of this through rejection and disrespectful speech. It seemed like everyone was heaping this shame upon me, especially rejection and cruelty, trying to get me to believe that I was worthless. There are people who do this. And it worked on me for most of my life. Then I realized they were just the losers who were trying to keep me down because they were intensely jealous and filled with hatred.

And no one will enlighten you as to what is going on. They all know they are emotionally abusing you. But you don't know it cause you're in a fog of self doubt.

First thing you need to recognize is that you have inherent worth as a human being. Unless you truly are an evil person doing evil things, you need to stop blaming yourself, stop hating yourself, stop hating your life. Look for the good things and focus on them.

With confidence in yourself, you will be able to smooth out the awkwardness, if that is even the case. You need to work on your sense of self worth first. You could be a young Brad Pitt, but if you're convinced you're worthless, you'll believe it and act like it and attract the wolves who are searching for people to emotionally abuse.

As for divorce, find a submissive woman who believes in pleasing you as the man. They are still out there. When you find her, you'll know. But first you need courage and confidence.

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