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I'll try to make this as short as possible. There're a few things I'm concerned and confused about women with. First... if you like her, it's all fine until you show the slightest ounce of sexual interest, then women are gone. It's like they want you to desire them, but the instant they get a whiff of sexual desire - they flee. ....and then chastise you for it! It's like they want it but only on their terms. If the guy expresses any semblance of himself in the interaction - just wanting sex with her; the woman is gone. Why?
Maybe it's that I should want sex with her - not just want sex, period. That might be it.
This is so frustrating to me. Can't they understand we have needs, too? I'm just not sure how to handle going about it now. If I do this, it's wrong, say this - I' ruined it. Even if you glance at a female the "wrong" way for her, she'll leave. What the f**k? Why are they so difficult. If you move too fast - they are difficult. Why is this so hard.
I know I should not make it a predatory thing about 'just getting it or sex from them'. This is very hard sometimes... I have to stop my mind from doing it.
This is why I think PUA and the guys' talk about "scoring" is counterproductive, it just backfires. It seems to cause the opposite for a lot of people and is bad.
I also wonder why women with boyfriends go out of their way to flirt and behave sexual with you. This really pisses me off. Because she knows the bf is right there, putting me in an awkward situation; either I fight him and take her, or reciprocate and get into a fight. WHY do so many girls do this shit? I can't stand it.
Misery and happiness are only states of mind.
You are correct in expressing your sexual interest right up front, but you give up too easily. A girl's job is to use men as beta orbiters from whom to extract attention, money, favors, etc. When you express your sexual interest, they are BEHAVING pissed because they are being prevented from friend zoning you and using you. If you would continue talking and standing your ground, or perhaps trying again later, you would have success with many of them.
I recommend that you read Alan Roger Currie's books on Upfront and Straightforward where he details how this resistance is simply a temporary front. Google him and read his book on the issue.
Keep persisting with the same woman and one runs the risk of being played. That's the downside. Too many spiteful and attention seeking women out there who have no interest in a guy but will actively pretend that they do just to ride another ego trip.
My philosophy is to let them resist for a short period then to back off completely. Ball. Court.
Its not your fault. We have to understand why they doing it.
We have to totally support women on what they do, our enemy is not them. They only have instinct to go with not future predictions. Its not personal.
Remember. We are a Patriarchal society, the real earth was Matriarchal, where we all lived happily ever after.
If I was a women. I would do the same in these times. Why should women be generous to us with sex?
Women have less chances than men.
1. How many of us would date a single mom.
2. Women over 40.
3. Divorced, Widowed women?
4. Ugly women?
Their window to find a suitable guy is from 18 to 28 at most...Unlike, Winston...who is still going strong in his 40's and most of us
Women priority is not sex. The reason for rejection is thanks to PUA, roosh types, pump and dump culture, women have been cheated before in the name of false love. Women needs are different than us...If she senses sexual interest from us..she will be defensive.
There is NO GUARANTEE that you will stick around her once you have sex with her?
Can you promise or better just get married and have sex with her, then all will be fine. Why the need to have sex if she is not your wife yet?
Women needs to do what they do to protect from beasts like PUA, cheaters, liers...We the good guys have to suffer as well..The society is rotten. Your intentions are all good but the society is f*cked up. Its not your fault...these PUAs have ruined it for us....even our good intention seems suspicious to them..that is why the Jews promote PUA heavily...
Now a days..No matter what we do to a women...it's never enough...they are just afraid...you might dump her once you have sex with her...BUT YOU WON"T....We don't know...there is only 50% chance that you would do...but it's so bad for good guys that they are not even risking it anymore.
Unfortunately. No one wins here. She missed a good guy or may be not...we will never know..Its that bad for humanity. These PUA f**ckers have ruined it for all of us...Women cannot trust men.
Respect the women who did this and MOVE ON...We need to respect the decision of women. If we are been honest..No one has seen the future...There was only 50% chance that she would have found her soulmate in you or the other way around.
Life is NOT unfair...Life is Unfair BY DESIGN....There are actually people working round the clock to ruin our society.
The truth is most women aren't truly interested in YOU. They want your attention, your willingness, and for you to make that first move. Getting a man to jump for unattractive women (and somewhat pretty women) is good validation for them, about the same or more than a man who likes to hump and dump. It is the ego boost of a narcissistic person.
They are cowards and can't be with you. They just want the ego boost from thinking you want them. But because they are cowards, they can't even admit it to themselves. They lie to themselves and to the whole world at the same time by shifting blame onto you, when really it is because they are cowards who get off on getting men to jump through hoops for an ego boost.
Who else but a cruel person designs a game where they show they love you and want your love back, but when you start to show your love back, they run away and issue daggers on the way out? Normal people do not do this. These are sick, twisted individuals who are mostly beyond all hope. They delight in absolute wickedness. Forget them. They seek to destroy heart and soul for fun and the sick pleasure of thinking some dude wanted them, and then dumping all over him, even ruining his reputation and smearing his name. Destroying you is proof of how delicately beautiful, great, all-powerful and wonderful she is.
They are filled with slander, character assassination (malignity), cruelty, maliciousness, murder, hatred. Read Romans 1:28-32.
When I was single, I waiting until I got married to have sex. (I had opportunities. If nothing else, prostitutes hit on me.) As a Christian, I did not believe in having sex outside of marriage. I wanted to marry a virgin, too.
If you do find a virgin, she may on her guard against men who want to use her for sex, and repel them. (Good for her.) But if you aren't a sexual predator type, and you expect sexual fulfillment later with the woman you marry, and those are your sexual expectations, then, if a virgin finds you attractive and considers you a potential mate for a number of reasons, it doesn't have to be so hard. You don't have to deal with all the issues a woman whose been hurt by being pumped and dumped if she's a virgin.
I was in Indonesia when I met my wife and got married. There seem to be a lot more virgins in Indonesia than in the US. I was going to say percentage-wise, but considering Indonesia's population and the demographics of younger people in the country, I don't have to say that.
My wife wasn't afraid I was trying to use her as a girl to have sex with. When we got to know each other enough, I was able to communicate to her that I expect to have (a lot of) sex with her when we got married. Women have a sex drive, too. And the idea of sex after marriage can be an exciting idea to a young virgin woman, especially if she loves you, even if she doesn't admit it.
Sexual intercourse is what causes pregnancy, right? Just think of all those children raised without fathers. Listen to someone raised in this situation talk about his feelings about it, being raised without a father in the home. Having a father in the home is good for children on a number of factors. I believe these include lower crime rates, better success at school, and lower teen pregnancy rates for girls. Impregnating a woman and not raising the child is a bad thing, right? So how can going around sleeping with women be a bad thing? Birth control is not 100%. She can have your baby murdered in her womb without your having a say-so according to state and federal law. Or you could not know and some girl you had sex with one night could carry your baby. Marriage, the life-time commitment, makes sense. It makes sense for society and for the children produced from sex for sex to take place in marriage, and not outside of it.
Instead of looking for a woman to be your girlfriend and have sex for you, why not look for a quality woman to marry and have a lifetime of sex with, along with the other benefits of marriage.
Good for you. I held out until I was 24. Extramarital sex is just a pain emotionally and psychologically, and also socially as you mentioned.
I notice you found your wife in Indonesia. When I was in college, I met an Indonesian woman. I thought she was nice but never got the chance to really interact with her because of distance.
It's sad that Western modern women fool themselves into living less romantic lives because many think sex is mostly a physical act like eating.
I have gone through like many (30 or so that i can remember just since getting divorced. None did I have to hand over cash, but generally i paid all outings etc. Most of them were 50 kg hot poppies and i pomp them like first time and at most third. But none of them you can say were decent or worthwhile. Just a good looking shell. With a decent one, she may not be as hot, just attractive, but you are willing to pursue without sex if the right signs are there, she is an interesting person, that she is interested romantically but not in quick sex. There are not many such women though, not white ones anyway.
So with the shallow ones that are just a body, yeas walk away if you don't get sex as they are a waste of time. But if you happen to come across a decent one whose company is pleasant, some decent spade work the old fashioned may be warranted.
So you mean standing my ground, I would somewhere along the road get sex, might at least? Just because I'm not asking for it, but putting up the act - she'd feel comfortable after awhile, and it would just happen.
This makes sense. I still think that making my sexual attraction known is a no-no. I just sense it's not good, but persisting and standing my ground. Somehow will get me laid. Women are tricky..
I need to stop firing all my rockets on blast. ..and hang with them and charm them, be with them for a bit.
Misery and happiness are only states of mind.
Why do you want sex? To boast to other men, including the voice in your head which is a proxy for other men? That's the main reason most men want sex. Physical pleasure is for weaklings. I'm not saying you should give up physical pleasure. You must eat to live, but since you must eat, you might as well get pleasure from eating. But don't let food control you. Ditto for physical exercise.
Unlike food and physical exercise, you do not NEED sex. If your body needs sexual release, it will cause a wet dream. If sexual desire is obsessing you, masturbate (sexual kung fu style preferably). Don't let sex control you. Don't let the taunts of other men (I'm getting laid by a harem, I'm better than you, na-na-na-na!) control you.
If your desire is for children, then I'll turn the floor over to guys like MrMan, because I was never interested in children. Going after women because you want a mother for your children is COMPLETELY different from going after women for sex.
I pursue women for sex because I have an excess of time, money and energy, even after my various hobbies. The hunt is what matters. Actually succeeding in catching a woman is something I sort of dread.
If you simply lack experience and want some, just go to a prostitute.
This has to be put into context.
I have to disagree with Contrarian Expatriate because he is currently in the context of doing acrobatics so as to not be mentally and otherwise screwed by white women. But Eric is in China right now, so things have to be interpreted somewhat differently.
I don't think you can be that verbally direct with Asian women, first because many are really relationship oriented and don't want to jump into any carousel -hard to believe for western guys- and even if they want it too, they don't want to look or feel the part.
I guess you'd have to give us specific examples of what you're doing, Eric, but certainly saying "i want to grab you by the p..." while giving her a weird stare will send her running for sure. But you can still more conservatively complement some of her features to see what her response is and try to escalate slowly, while still making things clear.
Also stuff like "Let's go upstairs to have sex" won't work, too explicit, just try "let's go and watch tv and sleep for a while", that is more elegant, as she knows the deal but still keeps your intentions clear. But don't let the PUA crap contaminate your mind, if the girl doesn't really want to do it, you don't have to press her too much or beg. That's one thing I 'pride' myself about it lol, i can wait and postpone, and actually -in my limited experience- women go crazy if you do that, they like it.
Don't let the PUAs and stupid braggarts psyche you into thinking it has to happen "within 25 minutes" of having met and all that other junk.
Regardless, I don't want to sound like a broken record but again, better begin with p4p man, it's the best way to get the experience and 'detox' from all the western hangups, it will also keep you from lying to a really good girl just to release your sex drive.
I think you should begin by going and getting some regular non-sexual massages just to relax, be touched and feel there's nothing wrong with that, then move on to happy endings (I've never had those though), and then to actual p4p. I'm sure there's plenty of venues in your city.
It's always a good idea to have a friend to do this so you feel safe and can share some thoughts, but I'm sure you can't tell about it to your male expat coworkers, those mf*rs would probably rejoice in shaming you.
1)Too much of one thing defeats the purpose.
2)Everybody is full of it. What's your hypocrisy?
That's where I disagree, if it was that easy nobody would have a problem and countless forums on this wouldn't exist.
Sex is more than just dumping your load. It's about getting access to a woman's body and exploring it with all your senses, I would think most guys have this craving since the age of 12. And obviously there is the interaction complement too of course.
Although i find it interesting how western men use the "a" article, as if it was a consultation with some kind of specialist, instead of a general leisure activity lol.
I mean, it kind of tells how taboo it's considered.
1)Too much of one thing defeats the purpose.
2)Everybody is full of it. What's your hypocrisy?
What women look for will vary by culture. I have never had a problem bedding or dating white women, and have never been single except by choice. I have almost never been sexless. Mostly 50 kg hotties and a model. Even working in africa black women always go for me but I would never touch one of those savages. In north america i never tried because I never had any interest in them and did not find them appealing at all. The behaviour puts me off. The description of american women here is fitting, but as a foreigner they come across as even more obnoxious than to americans who find that behaviour normal. In europe I do ok at first, but sooner or later the liberalism puts me off. Like when I found out they have been with, or mix with non-white men I walk. I also cant handle watching what i say all the time. British girls I found foul mouthed, drunken and coarse.
I generally make my sexual interest known through witty sexual innuendo, look at them in the eye, touch them, twist their words to a sexual remark etc. From above that would not work with asian girls. perhaps they would find it disrespectful. But any decent proud asian girl would probably want nothing to do with a sexual relationship with a white man, and i have no desire to corrupt their culture.
I have no desire to corrupt their culture either, I think it's true.. that really doesn't work here and it puts them off. It's different. I think most of my problems stem from my own unhappiness. Once I take care of that, women are just another side to my life that's unhappy. If you have an unhappy life - everything will be miserable or bad or not working properly. If you change it to make it happy, which I'm doing. Everything works out. I have no problem talking with beautiful women. I think once I'm happier, I'll get much more sex anyways.
I don't want endless sex all the time anyways, (does sound kind of nice..actually) but really, it's not about that. It's about happiness first. If you're not happy, you're nothing inside. I'm doing things to take care of that. I'm creating things, fixing things, doing things on my own, making some new project.
See, in my house... I wasn't able to do these things like this. I had a father who domineered everything, took over projects I made, ideas I had...and "told me how to do it right". He was always like this and it definitely affected me, I just shut down.... lost all agency and all of my brightness. I basically lost my personality. I became depressed and miserable and angry. I wasn't allowed or supported as a young person developing. It's sort of like having a collapsed personality.
So now I'm reigniting myself. I'm doing something now, where I'm doing things imperfectly, and having fun while doing them - instead of always having to 'do things perfectly' which was just miserable.
I find I'm already happier.
I'm making things.
I'm igniting the brightness that's inside me, that has ideas...dreams.. thoughts and emotions.
This was all shut down for me more or less growing up, in a way sadly. I don't know why he, my dad was like this. I think he was just like a man that couldn't contain himself, had very poor restraint. He also wasn't selfless for his kids to grow up and focus on their development. It was very selfish. But, what can you do.
I'm repairing myself. No doubt I'll be happier, and when that comes - then everything will work out.
I had a feeling, for me, the endless obsession on sex was 'just a way to fill the hole' and a prop for my self esteem. It's what guys talk about and do who have no self esteem, I've found. Not all, but it's common.
What do you guys think about this?
Last edited by Eric on January 20th, 2017, 1:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Misery and happiness are only states of mind.